by E. L. Todd
“Thanks.”
She turned to me before she got out. “Conrad?”
“Hmm?”
“Did you…tell them about me?”
I met her look. “No. I keep my word, Beatrice.”
She nodded then looked away.
“I just said you wanted to spend the holiday with me. Nothing else.”
“Do they think we’re…more than friends?”
The question hurt. I already knew she didn’t want anything romantic with me, but the reminder didn’t feel pleasant. “No. I made it clear we’re just friends.”
She released the air from her lungs. “Okay.”
I brushed it off then got out of the truck and grabbed our things. When we reached the front door, it was unlocked. I stepped over the threshold and dropped all our bags. “Your favorite child is home!”
Beatrice chuckled then shook her head slightly.
“He’s here!” Mom yelled from the other side of the house.
“Great,” Dad said sarcastically.
Mom reached me first then hugged me tightly. “Honey, you’re more handsome every time I see you.” She leaned in to kiss me on the cheek.
I pushed her away. “Yeah, thanks.” I didn’t want her kissing me in front of Beatrice.
Mom came to her and pulled her in for a hug. “Merry Christmas. Thank you for joining us.”
Beatrice returned the embrace. “Thank you for having me.”
Mom pulled away and studied her face. I knew what she was thinking and what she wanted to say. Beatrice was unbelievably beautiful, and I knew my mom wanted to mention this obvious fact.
“Mom, where’s Beatrice staying?” I asked before she could embarrass me.
“One of the guest rooms,” she said. “It overlooks the beach. You’ll be comfortable there.”
“Great,” Beatrice said. “Sounds lovely.”
My dad reached us with a smirk on his lips. He eyed Beatrice before giving me a knowing look. “Christmas came early for some people…”
I gave him a hateful look. “Dad, this is Beatrice. Be nice.”
“I’m always nice.” He extended his hand and shook hers. “We’re excited to have you. Conrad never brings anyone around.”
“He doesn’t have many friends,” Mom said.
I rolled my eyes. “Ignore them,” I said to Beatrice.
“He’s a bit of a loser,” Dad said.
“You want me to beat you up in front of Mom?” I threatened.
“I’d like to see you try,” he challenged.
Trinity came down the stairs then joined us. Her eyes moved to Beatrice, and they widened noticeably. “Wow…”
I covered my face, thoroughly embarrassed.
“You’re gorgeous,” Trinity blurted.
Beatrice’s face reddened.
“What are you doing with my brother?” she asked incredulously.
“Knock it off,” I hissed at her. “We’re just friends.”
“I hope so,” Trinity said with a laugh. “Because she’s totally out of your league.”
“I’m this close to pushing you,” I threatened.
“I’d like to see you try.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me.
“Merry Christmas,” my dad said sarcastically.
Mom grabbed Beatrice’s bags. “I’ll show you to your room. You can unwind a little bit before dinner.”
“Thank you.” Beatrice tucked a strand of hair behind her ear then followed her.
When we were alone, I gave my dad the death look. “Don’t embarrass me!”
He had a wide smirk on his lips. “She’s puuuurty.”
I slugged him in the arm. “I mean it. We’re just friends.”
Trinity laughed loudly. “Sure.”
“I’m serious,” I hissed. “Stop making jokes around her.”
“You think bringing her here will make her change her mind about you?” Trinity asked. “That’s how you plan to get in her pants?”
“I’m not trying to get in her pants,” I hissed. “She and I are just friends. Sure, I want something more, but…she’s complicated.”
“Classy, you mean?” Trinity asked. “It’s refreshing to see that you’ve gotten tired of the whores.”
“If she’s just a friend, why did you invite her for Christmas?” Dad asked.
I didn’t know how to answer that question without betraying her secret. I promised I would keep her personal life to myself. But I needed them to understand she really was here as just a friend. “She…had nowhere else to go.”
My dad’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “What about her family?”
“They aren’t…on good terms,” I said evasively. “I invited her here because she deserves to have fun, not be sad. If I’d known you guys would attack her and keep making jokes about her being my girlfriend, I wouldn’t have.”
“That’s so sad,” Trinity said quietly.
“So stop teasing her about me,” I said. “You’re making her uncomfortable.”
Dad put his hands in his pockets. “Well, I’ll drop the jokes, then.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Trinity gave me a surprised look. “I never knew my brother had a heart.”
“I don’t,” I snapped. “She’s my friend, and I care about my friends.”
“Who knew my brother could be friends with a girl without sleeping with her,” Trinity said.
“Well, she’s really cool,” I said. “We have a lot in common.”
My dad smirked then dropped his gaze.
Mom came down the stairs. “Oh my god, I love her! She’s so beautiful! Oh, Conrad, she’ll give you such beautiful babies! She’s so sweet. I was just talking to her and—”
“Mom, she’s not my girlfriend.”
She shut her mouth abruptly. “Well, she better be soon. I like her. I’m sick of hearing about all the trash you spend time with.”
I glared at my sister, knowing she tattled on me.
She shrugged like she didn’t care.
“Be on your best behavior,” I said. “And treat her like a human being.”
Mom looked sad. “You’re graduating soon. I want you to settle down with a nice girl.”
I wasn’t settling down with anybody, but I didn’t tell my mom that.
I knocked on Beatrice’s door.
“Come in.”
I stepped inside and examined her room. It was sterile, and the sheets had just been pressed. The window facing the ocean was open. Beatrice sat at the edge of the bed, her legs crossed.
I studied her for a moment before I sat beside her. “Is your room okay?”
“It’s beautiful.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Sorry about my family,” I whispered. “They’re…annoying.”
She smiled. “It’s okay, Conrad. They’re lovely.”
“Are we talking about the same people?” I asked incredulously.
She chuckled, her voice deep and beautiful. “Your mother reminds me of mine. She’s warm and sweet.”
“My mom is pretty cool…sometimes.”
“And not annoying.” She gave me a firm look. “You’re lucky you have such a beautiful family. It’s nice to see that again.”
I felt terrible that she had such a horrible past. I wished I could wash it all away. Never in my life had I felt pain on someone else’s behalf. “Yeah, they’re alright.”
She turned to me, her green eyes mesmerizing. “What now?”
“When we go downstairs, my mom will hand out our ugly sweaters. She makes them herself.”
“What a cute tradition,” she said warmly.
“And then tomorrow, we’ll head to my uncle’s house and spend the day there. Theo will be there, so you’ll recognize one face.”
“I’m sure it’ll be great,” she said quietly. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”
“Sure. Who says friends can’t be your family?”
“Yeah,” she said with a smile.
“Ready to go down?” I asked.
“Sure.”
We headed downstairs and saw my family gathered on the couches. My dad had his arm over the back of my mother’s seat, and Trinity sat on the other couch, her phone in her hands.
Beatrice sat next to my sister, and I sat on the other side of her.
“Do you go to school with Conrad?” Trinity asked.
“Yeah. It’s my last year too,” Beatrice answered.
“What are you going to school for?”
“To be a lawyer,” she said plainly.
“So cool,” Trinity said with wide eyes.
“Thanks.” Beatrice’s cheeks tinted slightly.
“Okay, now for the sweaters,” Mom announced. She handed the boxes around to each of us, including Beatrice.
Beatrice took it hesitantly. “I get one?”
“Of course you do.” Mom gave her an encouraging smile before she opened her box.
Mine was brown and had a reindeer carrying a litter of kittens. Trinity’s was pink with a bunch of Christmas squirrels. My dad had a bear that was trying to climb a chimney.
“Yikes, these are hideous,” I said.
Beatrice examined hers then chuckled loudly. It was a giraffe looking down a chimney while Santa was on the snow-covered lawn. “This is adorable.”
“It’s okay if you think it’s ugly,” I said. “That’s the point.”
“It’s not ugly at all.” She stared at it fondly then felt the fabric in her fingertips. “I love it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Mom gave her a bright smile then pulled the sweater over her own blouse. “Everyone get ready.”
We pulled on the sweaters then headed to the front yard. Patches of snow covered the ground, and our roof was caked with powder. My dad set up the camera on a tripod then held the clicker in his hand.
“Kids in the middle,” Mom said.
“Mom, I’m taller than you,” I argued.
“Who isn’t?” she challenged.
I stood beside Trinity then waved Beatrice over. She was standing off to the side. “Come on.”
“No, it’s okay.” She kept her distance. “You guys take the picture together.”
“Nonsense,” Dad said. “Get in here.”
She smiled then stood beside me.
Mom stood on the end then wrapped her arm around my waist.
I put my hand on Beatrice’s hip, touching her in that place for the first time. Despite how innocent it was, my heart sped up. I wished I could touch her more, even hold her. But I knew that wasn’t possible.
Dad stood at the very end with the clicker in his hand. “Alright, on the count of three, say ‘Reindeer poop.’”
“Reindeer poop!” we yelled.
Dad took a few pictures then stepped away. “Alright, I want a few with just your mother.”
I rolled my eyes. “We may as well go inside because they’re going to start making out.”
Beatrice chuckled. “Still in love?”
“Unfortunately.” I nodded toward the house, and we both walked inside.
Trinity came behind us, sighing.
“What’s your problem?” I asked.
“I miss Slade,” she said sadly.
“Then go to his place,” I barked.
“He’s spending the evening with his family.”
“Tell someone who cares.” I sat on the couch in front of the fire with Beatrice next to me. “I told you my family was annoying.”
“They aren’t annoying,” she said. “They’re really nice.”
“If you say so.”
My parents came back inside with the camera.
“Dinner will be ready in five minutes,” Mom announced. “I hope you’re hungry.”
“I am,” Beatrice said.
“Me too.” Trinity lay back on the couch and touched her stomach.
Dad approached Beatrice. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Water, please,” she said.
“I’ll take a beer,” I said.
“Get it yourself, asshole.” Dad walked into the kitchen.
Beatrice laughed. “You guys are funny.”
“My dad treats my mom and sister like queens, but he treats me like garbage,” I said.
“It’s probably a guy thing.”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
After dinner and hot cocoa, everyone trailed to bed. I stayed downstairs in front of the fire because Beatrice hadn’t moved. She sat next to me on the couch, her eyes watching the flames dance. The Christmas tree was in the corner, shining bright and illuminating the house.
My ankle rested on my opposite knee, and I rubbed my finger against my bottom lip, thinking about the beautiful woman beside me. I’d give anything to know what she was thinking. Her face was as stoic as a statue, indecipherable. “What are you thinking about?”
She turned her head slightly, like she had broken from a trance. “My mom used to braid my hair by the fire.”
I returned my gaze to the hearth.
“And that I’ve had a wonderful time with your family.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah. Your dad is funny, and your mom is cute.”
“What about my sister? I wouldn’t judge you if you said you hated her.”
She chuckled. “I definitely don’t hate her. She’s pretty awesome.”
“They can’t hear you, you know.”
She laughed again. “I know you love them, Conrad. I can see through your act.”
Could she see through everything else? I pulled my earbuds out of my pocket and handed one to her. “Would you like to listen?”
She smiled then put it in her ear. “Sure.”
I scooted closer to her on the couch and played Bob Dylan.
“I love him,” she whispered.
“Neil Young?” I asked.
“I love him too.”
We settled into companionable silence while we listened to the music and watched the fire crackle and burn.
The times I spent alone with her were my favorite. Words didn’t need to be said, and we didn’t need to be doing anything. We could just sit in silence and be comfortable. I’d never had that kind of relationship with someone. I couldn’t even lie in the same bed with a girl after sex because I was too uncomfortable. I kicked them out without caring about my rudeness.
My relationship with Beatrice was inexplicable. She was just a girl I hung out with. No sex was involved. That was hard for everyone to understand. It was even hard for me to understand. But it didn’t make it untrue.
“What do you want for Christmas this year?” she asked.
There was only one thing I wanted, but I could never tell her. “I have everything I need.”
“I didn’t say need. I said want.” She tapped her finger against her thigh to the beat of the song.
I thought about Cayson and Skye, the couple I thought would survive anything. “For my friends Cayson and Skye to get back together.”
She turned to me, a quizzical expression on her face. “Who are they?”
“Really close friends. I thought they were soul mates. They broke up a few months ago, and no one knows why. I really hope they can work it out. We’ll be seeing them tomorrow.”
“That’s sweet,” she whispered.
“What do you want?” I asked.
She pondered the question. “For my brother to have a good Christmas.”
“Did you call him?” I asked.
“No,” she whispered. “But I’m sure he knows I’m thinking about him.”
I studied her face, noting the reflection of the fire in her eyes. Her emerald eyes were lit up in green flames. They were hypnotic, impossible to ignore. She turned her gaze on me, her green eyes searing into my blue ones. I didn’t look away, not wanting to.
Moments like this made me question our peculiar relationship. She said she just wanted to be friends, but were we really friends? I didn’t stare into Roland’s eyes and never want to look away.
I didn’t listen to music with him and sit in comfortable silence. Beatrice was the only one I did any of those things with.
She looked down, and her hand moved to mine. Slowly, she gripped it and interlocked our fingers. Her hands were so small compared to mine, petite. I felt her faint pulse underneath the skin. I continued to look into her eyes, unable to stop. She stared back, unafraid.
Beatrice broke the connection when she turned her gaze to the fire. Her hand was still clutched in mine, giving no indication of letting go. I continued to stare at her, wondering what was going through that pretty head of hers.
107
Skye
Everyone was drinking and having a good time. Christmas was in full swing this year. I pretended I was okay, but I wasn’t. I was dying inside. Cayson would walk through that door any second, and I had no idea how to act around him. Would he hate me? Would he refuse to speak to me?
Would he even look at me?
Trinity was by my side, giving me a sad look. “It’ll be okay, Skye.”
“Do I look that terrible?” I whispered.
“Well, you’re the thinnest I’ve ever seen you. And your eyes give you away…”
I knew when everyone came over, they would ask me a million questions. Most of them would hate me for what I did to Cayson—or at least what they thought I did.
“No one knows what happened,” Trinity said. “Slade and I agreed not to tell anyone.”
My eyes searched her face. “Really?”
She nodded.
“How did you get Slade to agree to that? I’m surprised he doesn’t hate me.”
“He did—at first. But I reminded him that we’re all friends and family here. We can’t get involved with your relationship. It’s best if we just…let it go.”
“Yeah…let it go.”
“So, no one is going to ask you about it.”
“I’m sure everyone is dying to know.” I really didn’t want to talk about Cayson tonight.
“I think so too, but don’t stress about it.”
The front door opened, and Uncle Ryan and Aunt Janice came in. Slade was in the front with a guy wearing a leather jacket.
“You see that hot blonde on the couch?” Slade pointed right at Trinity. “That’s my lady.”
Trinity melted right before my eyes.
“Nice,” the guy in the leather jacket said.