Spyder: An Alpha Male MC Biker Romance (Dark Pharaohs Motorcycle Club Romance Book 3)

by Ivy Black

  “So, do you keep in touch with… umm… anybody from the old days?” I ask.

  I cringe at the almost pleading tone in my voice. His smile tells me he didn’t miss it, making me cringe even harder.

  “If you’re asking if I keep in touch with Derek, the answer is yes. I see him almost daily, in fact. Want me to pass along your regards?” he says with a low chuckle and a knowing gleam in his eyes that makes me want to kick myself again.

  “Sure. I mean, no. I mean…”

  I shake my head as my voice trails off and my cheeks flare with heat. Derek is somebody who was in my grade back in high school, and like Max, he ran with a crowd that my own social circle wouldn’t have approved of. He and I were acquaintances and knew each other well enough to say hello, but nothing more really. I always had something of a crush on him, though.

  Derek had this whole James Dean, Rebel Without a Cause vibe to him that was like catnip to me. I also knew him to be really smart and really charming. We’d sometimes silently flirt with each other. We’d share these long, lingering looks across the classroom or cafeteria, but it never went further than that. My friends would never have approved, and I’m pretty sure his wouldn’t have either. We were just from two different worlds and neither one of us ever seemed able to break our orbits and drift into one around each other.

  “Well, not that you asked, but he’s doing well. Like me, he did some time in the military,” Max tells me. “And… he’s still single.”

  I almost choke on my own tongue and the heat in my face burns out of control. It’s all I can do to keep from sputtering in front of him. Trying to control the wild churning inside of me, I brush my hair back behind my ears and give him a smile I hope masks my inner turmoil.

  “Well, I’m glad to hear that he’s doing well,” I say.

  “Why didn’t you two ever get together?” he asks.

  It’s a question I used to ask myself long ago. But I was never able to come up with a sufficient answer, so I eventually stopped asking. After my dad died, I had honestly stopped asking myself a lot of questions and just kind of went on autopilot. Maybe that’s what it was. Because I was in the midst of mourning and being a pissed off, moody teenage girl, all I thought about was myself and shut everybody else out.

  Back then, I leaned on my friends and conformed even harder to their wishes. I just sort of went along with the crowd and more or less stopped thinking for myself. All of my energy went into planning for my escape from Blue Rock, and I simply didn’t have room for anybody else. Maybe that’s the answer that eluded me for so long… I was simply being a selfish little girl.

  I look up at Max and purse my lips. “I guess the timing just wasn’t right.”

  He nods. “Yeah, I guess not. You kinda had a lot going on back then.”

  “Yeah, I did. Got a lot going on now too, though.”

  A wry chuckle passes his lips. “Such is the nature of life. Always a lot of things going on, and our plates are never empty.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.”

  Max fixes me with an earnest gaze. “That’s why it’s on us to make time for those things that mean something to us. Life’s always going to be busy and there’s always going to be something we have to do. But stopping and carving out some time for those things that are important to us… It’s just as important as those things we have to do.”

  His words strike a chord deep within me. I’m sure that nugget of wisdom is based on his own personal experience. If I had to bet, I’d say he came by it in the military. I’d imagine being in a war and facing down death has a way of shifting your priorities. And I’d further imagine that he’s also talking about his girlfriend and her son. Like I said, I never imagined him as the type who would settle down and have a kid, and yet… here we are.

  “That’s good advice,” I tell him. “Thanks for sharing that.”

  He flashes me a roguish smirk. “Is ‘thanks for sharing that’ meant to be sarcastic, or is—it—”

  I interrupt him with a loud guffaw and shake my head. “No, I mean that sincerely. I really do. It makes me realize that with my whole world kind of changing and in flux right now, I maybe need to change my perspectives and priorities along with it.”

  He gives me a rueful smile. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to lecture you.”

  “You didn’t. It’s actually something I think I needed to hear. I’m so busy going a mile a minute, trying to take care of everybody else, I rarely seem to stop and think about what it is I need.”

  Max perks up and his smile grows wolfish. “Great. So, should I give Derek your number?”

  The heat in my face feels like it’s going to burst into a three-alarm fire if I don’t find a way out of this conversation in the next thirty seconds.

  “I’m speaking more in a general life sense,” I tell him.

  “Uh-huh,” he replies. “Fair enough. But just let me know and I’ll make the connection.”

  I catch myself giggling like a teenage girl and clamp it down quickly. I haven’t felt this out of balance or awkward since I was that teenage girl. This whole day’s been one unexpected emotional surprise after another. I had no idea when I came back to town that I’d be on this kind of emotional roller coaster at all, let alone on my first full day. Maybe I should have. Just because I left town doesn’t mean all of the old ghosts I left behind just dissipated.

  “Anyway,” I tell him. “I should get going. I’ve got to get back to my mom.”

  “Sure thing. It was good seeing you, though. Welcome home.”

  “Yeah, you, too.”

  Max gives me a smile then walks away with Cole hand in hand. I hear them talking and laughing with each other as Max cuts up for the little boy. It’s adorable to watch and so out of character for the boy I knew back in the day. It shows me that for all the progress I’ve made in my life, I remain pretty static in some other essential areas inside of me. Time moves on and people change. And I’m not convinced I have. Not entirely. Not in some ways that really matter.

  As I climb into my car, I can’t help but wonder what changes time has wrought in Derek and whether he’s become a different man like Max clearly has. Or whether he’s more like me, half in and half out of change and caught in a time loop that’s holding him chained to his past.

  Chapter Four

  Spyder

  “How you doin’ today, Derek?”

  “I’m doin’ fine, Ashley. Thanks for asking.”

  It never fails to amuse me that Ashley, Domino’s girl, has flat out refused to call us by our MC names. She will only refer to us by our given names. I know Domino’s tried to get her to use our club names, but she just digs her heels in. Says it’s childish and that grown men shouldn’t be giving each other nicknames.

  Personally, it doesn’t bother me, but I know it bugs Domino. Which is why I always encourage her to keep doing it. She sets the coffee mug down in front of me and fills it. As I lean down and inhale deeply, savoring the rich aroma, I feel the smile stretching across my lips. Coffee is the one thing I love most about waking up in the morning. It’s the kick start to my day I always need.

  I sit up to find both Ashley and Domino looking at me, with matching incredulous expressions on both of their faces.

  “What are you guys looking at?” I ask. “Is there something wrong with loving a good cup of coffee in the morning?”

  “I didn’t think so,” Domino says. “But after watchin’ what you’re doin’ with that mug, I’m starting to have some doubts. I think there might be laws against that sort of thing, man.”

  “All I know is that I wish Max looked at me the way you look at that mug, Derek,” Ashley chimes in.

  “You guys are hilarious,” I say.

  “Have you considered Tinder, Derek?”

  “I’m kinda thinkin’ he needs more like a coffee fetish dating site,” Domino says.

  They laugh together and I just shake my head, ignoring them as I pick up my mug and have a drink. This is one reason I like to
spend my mornings with my coffee and a newspaper… Nobody making stupid jokes at your expense.

  “The usual, boys?” Ashley asks.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I say.

  “Thanks, babe,” Domino says.

  She gives him a quick peck on the cheek and when she turns to head for the kitchen, Domino swats her backside. She yelps and turns, sticking her tongue out at him, making Domino laugh. The easy banter and playfulness between them is sweet, and I’m glad he found somebody like her. For as different as they are, they complement each other well, and I think they are good together. I think they both fill something inside the other they were lacking before. And there’s no denying how happy they are. It makes me happy for the both of them.

  Of course, it also makes me a little sad for me. Seeing how good they are together and how happy their relationship makes them really highlights what’s lacking in my life. I’ve got no woman and no prospects for a woman. Most days, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve got some friends with benefits around. Women I can stop by and see every now and then whenever I’ve got to scratch an itch. But really nothing beyond that. Certainly nothing deeper than that.

  Domino says I’m too picky. Says I have standards that will be impossible for any mortal woman to meet. I don’t necessarily agree with that. I don’t think I’m asking for the moon. Nor do I think I should lower my standards and settle for less than I want. I think if I were to do that, if I were to settle for less, I’d eventually come to resent that other person, and that’s a recipe for disaster. I’m sure things would fall apart fast. And that wouldn’t be fair to either one of us. More than that, I think it would be my fault if I knowingly went into a relationship with somebody whom I knew to be less than my ideal.

  I figure it’ll happen for me one day. Or it won’t. But the one thing I won’t do is get together with somebody who isn’t what I want but is simply just there. I think that’s a fucked-up thing to do to a person. So until that magical mystery woman comes along, I’ll keep enjoying my superficial relationships, banging my way through life. And if my ideal woman suddenly appears in a hail of rainbows, trumpets, and angels, all the better. If she doesn’t, at least I’m not chained down to somebody I will slowly come to despise.

  But I can’t say there aren’t some days I don’t feel that pang of loneliness. I’m human. It happens. I’m not going to let it force me to do something I’m going to come to regret though.

  Domino sits back in the booth and takes a gulp of his coffee and I watch his eyes darting around the dining room. He’s looking out for Ashley which means he wants to talk club business. Domino tries to keep her out of our business, and I think she prefers it that way. She loves him, but she doesn’t love the club. Oh, she likes all the guys well enough. She fits in just fine socially. But she doesn’t like the things we’re involved in. Especially those things that could put her man’s life in danger.

  “She’s a good woman,” I tell him. “Better be treatin’ her right or I may swoop in and steal her from you.”

  Domino laughs. “Boy, you wouldn’t know what to do with her even if you caught her.”

  “Pretty sure I can figure it out.”

  He laughs and gives me the finger. “Anyway, what do you think about this whole going to war shit?

  “What’s to think about? We knew the club was headed this way ever since we shot down the man’s sicarios at the hunting lodge,” I say.

  “Honestly, I’d kinda been hopin’ that whole thing would just die down.”

  I laugh. “If you thought that was gonna happen, you’re dumber than you look, brother.”

  He grins. “Yeah, pretty stupid to think it might. Dudes like Zavala don’t forgive or forget. And he’s relentless. He’s gonna keep comin’ until we put him in the ground.”

  “Prophet knows. That’s why we’re takin’ the fight to the cartel. Fight this war on our terms,” I say. “If we don’t end Zavala, he’s gonna keep comin’ for us. And it’s gonna be a war of attrition that he’s gonna win because his army’s bigger. So, it’s on us to strike first and hit him hard. We gotta finish this prick once and for all.”

  Domino nods, but I can see the concern in his eyes. And I know exactly what it’s all about. Hell, in his place, I’d probably be feeling the same way.

  “Why didn’t you opt out, man?” I ask. “You got Ashley and Cole to look after.”

  He shrugs. “Because you guys are my brothers. Your fight’s my fight.”

  “But you’ve got a family to think of, man.”

  “I couldn’t turn my back on my brothers. It’s not in me.”

  “You know, nobody would have thought less of you if you opted out, right?”

  He arches an eyebrow at me. “What was it you just said? Oh yeah… and if you believe that, you’re dumber than you look.”

  I laugh softly. “Touché,” I say. “Asshole.”

  I take a drink of my coffee and gather my thoughts. This war with the cartel is going to be nasty. It’s going to be bloody and it’s going to be ugly. I fully anticipate high casualty counts on both sides before it’s over. And what I don’t want is for Domino to leave Ashley and Cole without him. Not after they’d all just found each other. He has something to live for.

  “Don’t do this because you’re worried about some of the guys lookin’ at you sideways, man,” I tell him. “Don’t let peer pressure force you to make a stupid decision, Max. You’ve got a lot going for you. Don’t fuck it up because of your sense of loyalty.”

  “How are you risking anything different?”

  “I don’t have a good woman and a great kid who need me,” I say. “If I die, my cat will be bummed for a while, but he’ll get over it.”

  He laughs. “You’re such an ass. It’s done though, man. I’m in. You guys are my brothers and I’m not turnin’ my back on any of you,” he tells me. “And it’s not peer pressure. It’s because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I bailed on you, boys.”

  “You’re a fuckin’ idiot,” I tell him. “You know that, don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do. Ashley makes sure to remind me at least once a day.”

  “Good woman. Like I said.”

  “She keeps me humble.”

  I smirk at him. “Somebody has to.”

  A moment later, she arrives with our breakfast. A blueberry short stack with over easy eggs and bacon for him, and a Denver omelet with hash browns and a side of toast for me. She tops off our coffee and gives us a smile.

  “Anything else I can get for you, boys?”

  “I think we’re good,” I say.

  Domino nods. “We’re good. Thank you, my love.”

  “I’d give you a kiss, but Kenneth is watching me like a hawk today,” she says. “Doesn’t like me being too friendly with the customers, he says.”

  “Want me to drag him outside and kick the shit out of him?”

  She screws up her face. “Tempting. Maybe tomorrow.”

  We both laugh as she subtly blows him a kiss and takes off to see to her other tables, leaving Domino and me to tuck into our meals. We eat in silence for a few minutes, fueling up before the job we have to do today. It’s not enough that we’ve got assholes on the outside making life difficult for us, but now, we’ve got one inside city limits making trouble. Asshole should know better. Now, he’s got to be taught a lesson. At least it’ll let me blow off some steam by taking my frustration out on him.

  “Speaking of things worth living for,” Domino starts.

  “Pretty sure that conversation was like ten minutes ago,” I say. “Statute of limitations is up, and we can no longer discuss that subject.”

  He laughs. “Go fuck yourself,” he says. “Guess who I ran into when I dropped Cole off at school today?”

  “If I refuse to answer, does this conversation die right here?”

  “Yeah, not how it works.”

  Just hearing the tone of his voice tells me exactly where this conversation is going to go. It sounds a lot like the tone
of voice Ashley gets when she tells me she’s got this friend I just have to meet. The last thing I need is for Domino to start trying to fix me up too. I mean, outside of Ashley, who I’m convinced was just a fluke, as his taste in women is horrible. Like, really horrible.

  I take another bite of my omelet, studiously ignoring him as I go about my breakfast. He chuckles to himself, finally tipping wise to my game. Clearly, it’s not going to deter him.

  “Bellamy Young,” he says. “You do remember Bell, don’t you? I mean, I’m sure you do. She was the sole deposit in your spank bank throughout high school.”

  I pause with my fork halfway to my mouth, trying to resist the urge to look up at him, but my eyes rise anyway as if moving on their own accord. And as expected, he’s got a big ol’ shit-eating grin on his face. I force myself to take the bite, though I might as well have just shoved a spoonful of sawdust into my mouth for all that I’m tasting. But I chew gamely and swallow it down before chasing it with a long pull of coffee.

  “Wow,” I say when my mouth and throat are clear. “That’s a name I haven’t thought of in, literally, years.”

  “The callouses on your hand say otherwise,” he says and laughs.

  Bellamy Young was my ideal woman back in high school. She was everything. The whole package. Beauty. Brains. A good sense of humor. Razor-sharp wit and usually had a scathing retort at the ready. I love a woman who can sling a good comeback. Always have. She was very much the gold standard in women for me and I really think the reason I’m alone is that I’m forever comparing every woman I date to Bellamy. She was what I’d always wanted. Probably what I still want.

  The problem was, we existed in two different social spheres. She was part of the hip, popular crowd. Her friends were the jocks and the cheerleaders. The elite of our high school. My crowd was the burners and slackers. The rough crowd. We were the kids from the wrong side of the tracks and were the social misfits of our school. The outcasts and pariahs.