Where the Heart Is

by Glenice Crossland

  ‘It is, look.’ Una stretched it. ‘I know, let’s see how strong it really is … let’s fill it with water!’ She pressed the end over the tap and turned on the water. The girls giggled as more and more water stretched the condom until it took on the shape of a balloon.

  ‘There must be pints in there,’ Carol estimated.

  ‘At least four,’ Jean said as they watched the huge balloon spill over the edge of the white pot sink. ‘I should turn off the tap, if I were you. What if it bursts?’

  ‘No.’ Una was fascinated to see how much it would hold. ‘Let’s just wait …’ Suddenly the pressure became too much and the thing burst over the edge of the sink and flooded the kitchen floor.

  ‘Oh, bloody ’ell!’ Una wasn’t the type to use bad language but she knew her mother would go crazy if she came in and saw this mess.

  ‘Have you got a mop?’ Daisy looked round the kitchen. It was the only one she had ever seen that had a carpet square on the floor instead of lino and a mat.

  ‘I don’t think a mop’s going to dry that carpet.’ Jean was more domesticated than the others. ‘We’ll have to take it outside to dry.’ Jean and Daisy carried the carpet outside and threw it over the clothes line. Una and Carol tried rubbing it dry with old floor cloths but all that did was make the pattern run.

  ‘We’d better stop, we’re making things worse,’ Carol said. ‘Let’s go out and pretend we don’t know anything about it.’

  ‘We can’t, not now we’ve taken the carpet outside.’

  ‘Well, let’s bring it in again, then.’

  ‘No.’ Una had promised her dad she would never be dishonest again, after she had been in trouble once before. ‘I’ll tell the truth.’

  ‘But what about the contraceptive?’ Daisy felt sorry for her friend.

  ‘Well, I can’t put it back now. I shall have to tell them what we were doing.’ She looked close to tears. ‘I think you’d better go.’

  The other three didn’t need telling twice. They wouldn’t like to be Una, talking about contraceptives to her parents! ‘Well, if you’re sure?’ Jean said, but they were already out of the door and away.

  When Bill and Marjory Bacon came home they were greeted by the sight of a sopping wet carpet hanging on the line, and a saturated kitchen floor.

  ‘What the hell’s been going on here?’ Bill thundered.

  Una turned on the tears, hoping it might help. She explained that she had been curious about how safe contraceptives were. This only made her dad more furious as he wondered how a girl of Una’s age even knew about such things, let alone would want to test them. Marjory was more worried about the carpet square and decided they would have to buy a new one as soon as they could afford it.

  ‘The point is, what were you doing snooping in our bedroom?’ she said, to Una.

  ‘I wasn’t snooping!’

  ‘Then how did you know we used such things?’

  ‘I’ve known since I was about six. When I used to help you dust, I saw them. I didn’t know what they were, but I knew they were something I wasn’t supposed to know about.’

  ‘No! And yer shouldn’t know about them now either,’ Bill grumbled.

  ‘Oh, Dad, I’m not a baby.’

  ‘And yer not an adult either, so just you forget about such things for a few years.’

  It wasn’t until Bill and Marjory were in bed that night that they finally saw the funny side of it.

  ‘Well, at least we shan’t have to worry about telling her about contraception,’ Marjory chuckled.

  ‘No, and neither will Jim Butler or the others. Our Una’s done it for ’em.’

  Ernest Denman loved Betty and was impatient to be married, but she had insisted on waiting. At the back of her mind was the possibility that Clarence might still be alive, but even she realised that was most improbable. Amy thought it was time her daughter tied the knot.

  ‘That lad’ll not wait forever, yer can’t expect ’im to. He’s a good lad and yer’ll lose ’im to another lass if yer not careful.’

  ‘He doesn’t want another lass, he loves me.’

  ‘Well, marry ’im then! He’ll make a good dad to our Ernie. The little lad idolises him.’

  ‘We’re saving for a house.’

  ‘Aye, well, that’s very admirable, I’m sure, but in the meantime you can live ’ere.’

  ‘I know. You’re right, Mam. We should be married. I don’t know why I keep making excuses. I suppose I keep thinking Clarence might come home.’

  ‘Oh, lass. You know he’s dead. Yer can’t waste yer life waiting for summat that’s never going to happen.’

  ‘Right then, we’ll get married, just as soon as we find a house. I’ll tell Ernest tonight.’

  Betty and he were going to a dance. The Victoria Hall was back to normal with the original Tony Tanner Band members. Doreen and her husband Steve were going with them.

  They also went out most Sundays, together with the children, sometimes to Buxton on the train, sometimes to Bakewell or Castleton. Last Sunday they had taken the kids down Speedwell Cavern. It had been quite scary to Betty and Doreen, but the kids had loved it and squealed with delight as they descended the rocky steps and got into the boat, deep in the cave, which had to be propelled down the narrow tunnel by a boatman lying on his back and walking along the roof. At the end of the tunnel there’d been a pool of water that was thought to be bottomless.

  The kids had been fascinated. Betty and Doreen had been freezing cold and relieved to be back in the open air. Later Ernest had bought Betty a figurine made out of the beautiful Blue John, a mineral only found in the Derbyshire hills.

  Betty was almost ready to go out, wearing a new dress made of kingfisher blue jersey which showed off her trim figure. Amy thought she grew more beautiful every day.

  ‘Eeh, lass, yer a sight for sore eyes,’ she told her daughter fondly.

  Betty kissed Ernie, who wiped her kiss away and told her he was too big to be kissed any more. Then she dabbed on a drop of Evening in Paris, put on her best coat with the nipped in waist, and went to meet Ernest.

  The band was playing a valeta when the two couples entered the dance hall. Most of the dancers were girls dancing together. The men were either hanging round in groups, eyeing up the girls and deciding which one they would ask to dance later, or in the other room at one of the snooker tables. Ernest and Steve had already had a couple of pints so were in the mood for dancing.

  ‘Come on, let’s shake a leg!’ Ernest suggested. He was a good dancer and they made an attractive couple as he twirled Betty in the Gay Gordons.

  ‘Oh!’ She was dizzy after all the spins. ‘Let’s sit the next one out.’

  ‘Come on then, let’s go and get some refreshment.’ They went into the side room where tea and biscuits were available. They could hear the singer offering his version of ‘Jezebel’. Ernest gazed at Betty. ‘That’s what you are,’ he said. ‘Your eyes promise paradise, and that’s all I get … promises.’

  Betty giggled. ‘You daft devil! Anyway, what would you say if I asked you to marry me, Ernest Denman?’

  He stared at her. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘I wouldn’t joke about something like that.’

  ‘When? Tomorrow?’

  ‘Well, not quite. I’d like time to buy a wedding dress and get me hair done first.’

  ‘Well, you can buy a dress and anything else you want, but don’t have yer hair done,’ he said seriously. ‘I like it the way it is. It’s what the men at work call “Come to bed” hair.’

  ‘Okay, I promise I won’t have my hair done. But there is still the small problem of where to live. Unless you would like to begin married life at my mother’s?’

  Ernest pretended to consider this. ‘No, I don’t think so, the walls are too thin. So we’ll find a house and then arrange the wedding.’

  ‘We might be waiting a long time …’

  ‘We won’t. I’ve got my eye on one that’s been for sale for a while. It’ll need d
oing up but that won’t take long.’

  ‘For sale? Oh, Ernest, I don’t know … I’ve never liked being in debt.’

  ‘Buying property isn’t really being in debt, love. It’s an investment. Besides, I’ve got a decent deposit saved already so we won’t be paying much more a week than we would be if we were renting.’

  ‘How much would it be, do you think?’ Betty sounded scared.

  ‘No more than three hundred pounds, and as it’s been for sale for a while I might beat the chap who’s selling down a bit.’

  ‘Where is it?’

  ‘Overlooking the Memorial Gardens. His son works at the steelworks in the low yard fitters with me. He’s taking his dad to live with them.’

  ‘So is it empty now?’

  ‘Will be as soon as we want it. That’s if it hasn’t already gone. Well! Are we going to dance or sit here nattering all night?’

  Betty kissed his cheek and let him slide his arms round her waist and dance as close as he liked.

  ‘My resistance is low,’ Ernest sang along with the vocalist, then nuzzled his lips into Betty’s neck. ‘I’m not kidding either. You can do whatever you like with me … I’m all yours. Thanks for asking me to marry you.’

  Jim arranged for the family to go away in the works holiday weeks. He booked two weeks at Scarborough in a small boarding house in Sepulchre Street. Daisy didn’t want to go unless her friend could go too, so it was decided that Carol would accompany them.

  Kenneth was so excited he made himself sick and Sally was up all night holding out a bucket and bathing his forehead. His recovery when Jim suggested cancelling the holiday was miraculous, and he was soon running on ahead, clutching the duffel bag holding his swimming trunks, bucket and spade.

  The station was crowded with families from Millington taking advantage of the two weeks’ shutdown of the steelworks. Most of the men would have been paying into a savings club, and with this on top of their three weeks’ wages in hand would be feeling quite well off. By the time the family changed trains at York, Daisy – as usual – was feeling travel sick and spent the last twenty miles in the train toilet, wishing she were dead.

  The rich Scarborough air immediately put her to rights and she and Carol were soon soaking up the holiday atmosphere of its South Bay. Sepulchre House was a jolly place, made more so by the many Scottish holiday guests who seemed a lively crowd. Every day they would gather on the beach with a piano accordion and soon other sunbathers would bring over their deckchairs and join in the merrymaking.

  Kenneth soon made a couple of friends and seemed to be the only one of the family who could understand half of what the Scots were talking about. He said his new friends were having the same problem understanding his funny Yorkshire accent too! This didn’t prevent Jim and Sally from joining in the fun, which often carried on until well into the night.

  Daisy and Carol were more interested in strolling round the harbour or over to the North Bay and Peasholme Park, where there were usually a group of soldier cadets to flirt with. On the second day the girls had arranged to meet two of them and go swimming at the nearby open-air pool.

  Daisy quite fancied one of the boys and thought she would show off in a bathing suit borrowed from Pat. Her cousin said it had never been worn so she was not to lose it. It was made of beautiful crinkled nylon and Daisy really did look gorgeous in it, or so Carol told her in the changing room. Things weren’t to turn out quite as well as they’d expected, though. As soon as the girls stepped into the water, the bathing suit – which happened to be white – turned completely transparent. It was Carol, fortunately, who noticed, just before the boys joined them.

  ‘Daisy, get under the water!’ She pushed her friend beneath the surface.

  ‘What are you doing Carol?’

  ‘Your cossie … it’s see-through. I can see your nipples!’

  Daisy looked down. ‘Oh my God! What can I do?’

  ‘Keep out of the shallow end and you’ll be okay.’

  ‘But how do I get out?’

  ‘I’ll fetch you a towel, don’t worry.’

  The soldier cadets thought Daisy was a bit peculiar, the way she was carrying on.

  ‘What’s up? Are yer scared of water?’ Jimmy Thomson asked. ‘Can’t you swim?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well then, come and splash about a bit. Once you’re used to the water, I’ll teach you.’ But Daisy still cowered by the edge of the pool in the deeper part. ‘Come on, I’ll hold you under yer chin and show you how to move yer arms and legs.’

  Daisy was devastated to miss her chance. ‘No! I’ve got to get out,’ she insisted.

  ‘But we’ve only just got in,’ Jimmy grumbled.

  Daisy thought she would die if anyone saw her. She might as well be naked.

  ‘I’ll fetch you a towel.’ Carol climbed up the steps.

  Jimmy, who had spent all the previous night imagining what Daisy Butler would look like in a swimsuit, suddenly realised he was never going to find out when she wrapped herself in a towel even before leaving the pool.

  ‘What’s up with her?’ his mate asked.

  ‘Don’t know, I reckon she’s been brought up in a convent or something.’

  ‘Shame, I thought she was gorgeous.’

  Daisy and Carol never saw those two lads again.

  ‘I’d kill your Pat if I were you,’ Carol told her friend.

  ‘No,’ Daisy answered. ‘I’ve thought of something better. I shan’t tell her about the cossie – and then one day the same thing’ll happen to her!’

  Daisy didn’t remain cross for long, though. They were two teenagers on holiday, and loving every minute of it. They lay on the beach every morning, hung around the amusement arcades in the afternoons and danced every night – and never stopped giggling.

  Halfway through the holiday they went to the fair, Carol wearing a new yellow dirndl and Daisy flaunting her trim figure in a tight-fitting skirt. They showed off in front of a group of soldiers by bumping them on the dodgems, then they decided to make for the Esplanade Gardens. Daisy thought she felt the stitches of her skirt give as she climbed out of the dodgem car but didn’t stop to check.

  The girls could hear the lads giggling as they followed them along the Esplanade, then suddenly a woman came up behind them and tapped Daisy on the shoulder.

  ‘Excuse me, love,’ she said. ‘Your skirt’s coming unstitched up the back seam. You’re leaving a trail of thread behind you. I wouldn’t have said anything only somebody’s trodden on it and the lads behind you can see your undies.’

  Daisy almost fainted as she felt behind her and encountered bare flesh. Carol took off her cardigan and tied the sleeves round Daisy’s waist so that her bare thighs were covered. The cadets behind them let out calls of ‘Boo!’ and ‘Spoilsport!’ Daisy dodged into the nearest cafe to escape the jeering gang and promptly burst into tears.

  ‘I shan’t dare come out again,’ she wailed.

  Carol went to the counter and ordered two knickerbocker glories. They had been promising themselves one before the holiday was over and she considered this was as good a time as any to indulge themselves. She went back to their table and sat down opposite her friend.

  ‘I’ve just decided which job you should go for when we leave school,’ she told Daisy.

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘A stripper … you’ll have had enough practice by the time we go home.’

  Daisy smiled, then she started to see the funny side of what had happened and began to chuckle.

  The cafe assistant, who looked rather effeminate, came over carrying a tall, delicious sundae in each hand. ‘Two knickers coming down!’ he quipped.

  The two girls looked at each other and laughed until the tears ran down their cheeks. This was one holiday they wouldn’t forget in a hurry.

  Chapter Eleven

  JIM DECIDED THEY would have electricity installed and divide the largest bedroom into two, to make a bathroom. He had been puttin
g the rent money they used to have to pay into the bank, and with a grant from the council should have enough to pay for the improvements.

  While Sally was telling Danny Powell about their plans he said, ‘Have yer enough money to pay for it, lass?’

  ‘Well, we should have.’

  ‘If you ’aven’t, let me know and I’ll give yer some.’

  ‘I couldn’t do that, Danny. It’s ever so kind of you but I couldn’t.’

  ‘ ’Course yer could. I’ve told yer before, I owe me present comfort to you and yer family. Your Daisy saved me life, you gave me me hearing back, and Amy’s giving me companionship. She’s a grand lass and I shouldn’t like to be without ’er. In fact, I wish she’d marry me, Sally.’

  She was taken by surprise. ‘You’ve asked Amy to marry you?’

  ‘Oh, aye, but she’s refused me point blank. I expect it’s me being a cripple that’s putting her off.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t think it’ll be that. I suppose she’s so set in her ways that it’d be difficult for her to change.’

  ‘Aye, I suppose it could be that. I’m thinking of ’aving electric put in as well.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Aye, and I’m wanting one of them television things.’

  ‘You’re getting all posh in your old age, aren’t you?’

  ‘Might as well spend it, being as nobody’ll let me give ’em owt.’

  ‘Well, it’s really good of you to offer, but if I were you I’d spend it on yourself. Besides, my mother-in-law may change her mind, then you’d have a wedding to pay for.’

  ‘Nowt’d please me more, lass, nowt’d please me more.’

  Daisy received a letter from the literary agent to say he was accepting her as a client and had passed her poems on to a publisher to be appraised. This boosted Daisy’s confidence so much that she left school a couple of hours early and made her way to the offices of the Millington & Cragstone Gazette.

  The receptionist there looked down her nose at Daisy. ‘Yes?’ she snapped.

  ‘I’d like to see the Editor,’ Daisy said.

  ‘Have you an appointment?’