Sapphire Scars: Volume Three

by A. P. Moraez

  “Uh…” Ash started, then got distracted by the thundering roar that came like a shockwave through the walls. After a few seconds, he brought his eyes back to Arthur. “Holy crap.”

  Arthur laughed. “That must be Logan.” He gave Ash a reassuring wink.

  It was an idea that Arthur had presented to them as soon as he’d met the entourage made up of Ash’s family, friends, Logan, and all their security teams coming out of Logan private jet that afternoon. The CEO had thought it’d be a good idea for Logan to get out there on stage a little before Ash’s debut, as a show of support. The tabloids had been ruthless since the day after their night at The Melting Popsicle, when some paparazzi had taken photos of him and Logan leaving the place holding hands. News of their relationship had spread like wildfire worldwide. All of a sudden, as Arthur had said, they’d become the darling duo of the celebrity world, and all that without Ash not even being a celebrity himself. At least he didn’t consider himself that. He didn’t feel like he was a celebrity. But, yeah, Logan’s name had weight and reach, and that was something he’d have to get used to if he wanted to have a relationship with him, because that part of his identity sure as hell wasn’t gonna go away. Maybe ever.

  Hell, half of those screaming their lungs out in the crowd out there probably hadn’t even bought their tickets to see him. They’d probably come in the hope of getting exactly what they were getting right now: an opportunity to see the man they’d grown to love through the big screens.

  When Ash had expressed those thoughts to Logan a few hours ago, though, Logan smirked and gave him a peck on the lips, saying, “You’ll be surprised when it downs on you how far your name has reached since that YouTube video, Ash. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

  Logan took every opportunity he got to tell Arthur and any member of his team that he didn’t ever wanna steal any of Ash’s thunder. He didn’t want people to say, down the line, that Ash just got to where he was because he was Logan Bishop’s boyfriend. It was no different earlier in the afternoon when Arthur had proposed that idea. Logan had initially refused, taking a stand that this was Ash’s day and he wouldn’t want to do that if it’d take away anything from him.

  What Logan didn’t know was that he could pull on his bravado and try, and even succeed, to fool everybody else. Ash? Nuh-uh. If anything, Logan was dying to show the world that they were together. He’d jumped at every opportunity through the last month or so to let the world know their status as boyfriends. Whether it was through a dumb twit, or Facebook post, or Instagram story — which Ash had had to learn how to do, under Arthur’s own instruction, to help grow his “brand” — Logan, always after getting the green light from Ash, had proudly inserted himself in his life.

  The man wasn’t a saint, though. He’d devilishly posted a photo of them in bed, without Ash’s knowledge or previous consent, of him kissing Ash awake one morning last month, and captioned it as Nothing better than waking up next to your other half. And then he’d gone ahead and mentioned Ash with one of those @ things that gave everyone a direct link to his profile. Suffice to say, the whole Internet had exploded, followed by magazines and gossip channels everywhere. He’d woken up the day after that having gone from a meek three million followers to more than fifteen million. It was nothing compared to Logan’s more than one hundred million, but just thinking about it overwhelmed him sometimes.

  So, no, Ash didn’t have the heart to deny Logan these things anymore. Who was he to deny Logan something so simple, but that made him apparently so joyous, like announcing their love to the seven winds? He’d agreed to Arthur’s plan on the spot. Logan’s closed expression of support had turned into little-boy-on-Christmas in a heartbeat.

  And yes, there’d be people on the future that’d remember these little instances. They’d see them together and, if everything kept looking up for him and his music career kept on growing at this rate, they’d indeed say that Ash’d only gotten where he got because of whom he was with. But screw them. He knew how many years he’d practiced and created songs in the dark corner of his bedroom, all alone and hurting. He knew he could sing and play his guitar like the best of them. And, most important of all, he knew who his heart belonged to. The haters? They could all go screw themselves.

  “Hey, buddy,” Arthur’s voice brought him back from his thoughts, “you alright?” Arthur’s gentle eyes had narrowed a bit in concern and he had one hand on Ash’s upper right arm, squeezing lightly.

  “Yeah,” Ash said, voice kinda rough. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Yeah, sure. It’s just… just crazy, you know? This has always been my dream and now this is happening. They scream so loud the walls shake.”

  Arthur squeezed his arm, then let it go. He was grinning. “This is just the beginning. It’s just your debut with us. A little taste for them to know how awesome you sound live before you start touring in the summer, after your first album is released.”

  Ash forced a smile back. All those things made him incredibly excited and happy, yeah, but right now it felt like there were things crawling in his belly that just shouldn’t be there.

  A new wave of screams came rumbling through the walls.

  “Holy shit,” Ash gasped, which made Arthur laugh out loud in return. Actually, he was rumbling with laughter, head thrown back and all.

  “Oh, Ash,” he said when he finally got a grip on himself, “that’s the first time in over a month that I’ve ever heard you curse.”

  “It only happens when he’s really nervous or angry,” Jeff butted in. He was approaching them with lazy steps, bringing Trav by the hand. They were both munching on strawberry Marshmallows, which Ash had made sure to request of the Wicked Wish team beforehand. “It took over a year for me to hear this one curse for the first time,” he finished as he finally reached Ash’s side and gave him a one-arm hug.

  “Two minutes to go!” someone yelled at the door to the room.

  Ash’s heart jumped right on cue.

  Holy shit, this is happening.

  Arthur laughed. “Well, I’m certainly glad to know he’s just as human as the rest of us.” He gave Ash another of his characteristic grins. “I won’t bother you anymore. Just wanted to wish you good luck. Come here,” he demanded as he extended his arms.

  Ash smiled and hugged the man that, through the last month or so, had grown to become a friend. “Thank you,” he murmured at Arthur’s ear. “For everything. Thank you for believing in me.” Goddamn, he didn’t want to cry, but this whole thing was getting him emotional.

  Arthur squeezed him tight and quickly freed him from the hug. Ash didn’t miss the way his eyes were glistening more than they’d been just a few seconds ago. Arthur cleared his throat, coughing on his fist, then he smiled and said, “Go out there and smash it. My livelihood depends on it,” he finished with a playful laugh.

  Ash’s eyes widened. He risked a peek at Jeff, standing next to him, and his brother had eyes as wide as his. They both laughed too, more out of hysterics than anything.

  “I’m joking,” Arthur said. “No, but really, I’m not. Kinda.” He waved the air between them with his right hand. “I should go back to the girls. Good luck, Ash.” He patted Ash’s arm one final time and then he whirled around and was gone.

  Earlier in the day he’d introduced everyone to his husband and two little daughters. They were twins and just six years old. Little blond things that Ash wanted to squeeze to death, they were so cute. And, apparently, they’d been Ash’s number one — and two — fans since the first time their dad had shown them tapes of him. They’d demanded to be allowed to come today and see him perform.

  No pressure, right?

  “One minute to go!” the girl with the papers and pen that always seemed to be in a hurry announced.

  “Shit,” Ash exclaimed, getting a hold of his guitar and turning toward the door.

  “Oh my God!” Cass jumped in front of him, wrapping him in a tight hug from his right while Peter did the same from his left. She
was all baby blue today, from hair to toes. She’d started incorporating all variations of blue into her style once Logan and him had cleared things between them. It made him smile. She pressed kissed him all over his face with her blue lipstick. “Good luck, good luck, good luck!”

  “Thanks,” Ash replied, laughing.

  Once she released him, Peter wished him good luck too and then they were gone, running out the door, probably intending to join Tom and Martha, who would be watching him from a corner of the stage, invisible to the audience. Lauren and Billy were holding the fort at O’Farrell’s, protected closely by one of Duke’s teams, but they’d be watching the whole thing through YouTube, where the event was being broadcasted live.

  Jeff and Trav were still there with him, and when Ash turned to them, not knowing what to do, both hugged him quickly, Jeff against his broad chest and Trav at his waist, and he’d never been more thankful. They didn’t know how much he needed the support right then.

  “Go smash it, bro,” Jeff said at his ear right before he planted a marshmallow-smelling kiss on his cheek.

  Then they also left him behind, alone.

  Ash stood there for a second, not knowing what to do; how to cross those doors and follow the corridor and stairs that’d lead him to be directly in front of all those screaming lunatics out there.

  “What are you waiting for? C’mon!” the perky girl with the hat and papers rushed him.

  And then he was moving, one hand clutching the neck of his guitar, while the other checked all the wires Duke and Wicked Wish had put on him. There were the mic wires and receiver at his ear, yeah, but there was also the wires Duke had personally installed on him. It connected to a button that was taped on the inside of his left arm. If Ash pressed it, Duke would know he was in trouble and needed help. He’d wired him with those after the Wicked Wish crew had finished setting him up for the show a couple hours ago, before Ash had been led to the makeup room. And yep, he was wearing makeup. The whole thing made him feel like a diva. After that, Duke had returned, followed Ash to the bathroom, and presented him with a bullet-proof suit. It all had to be done in secrecy, since Arthur couldn’t know the nature of the situation Ash and his family were in. Not only could it risk his contract, if he knew, but it would cause fuss that would undoubtedly reach the police, and if there was one thing that Ash couldn’t afford was for the police to get involved in this. No, this was a fight he had to fight in the shadows, otherwise he risked ending up in jail before they even caught Leo and whoever else it was that he might have assisting him.

  In a blink, without even having registered any of the path that led him there, Ash was at the bottom of the stairs to the stage. The sound here was deafening, and it only got wilder when the first chords to Daisies in the Wind reached his ears. Wicked Wish had set him up with a little band of awesome musicians which he’d been rehearsing with and getting to know the last few weeks. At first he’d been reluctant to work with others, used to playing and singing by himself since, well, always. But the guys were really cool and had won him over from the very start.

  One at a time, legs shaking as much as the very foundations of the building seemed to be shaking such was the force of the crowd’s united voices, Ash ascended the concrete steps.

  Logan, with a mic in hand, came toward him with the biggest, brightest smile. He quickly hugged him and planted a firm kiss on his lips. “I love you,” he said, as he took a step back, “have fun.”

  Ash could only nod, nerves wreaking havoc in his system. He only had time to throw a nervous smile to his family, watching him from the shadowed corner of the enormous stage, and then the right chord reached his ear.

  Oh, how silly he’d been to think that rehearsals and years of performing in small bars had prepared him for this. How stupid.

  As soon as the spotlight locked on him, as he entered the crowd’s field of vision and sang the first few words of the song that had been playing across the country nonstop for the last few weeks, the place erupted in screams and whistles. It was an intimidating thing; the sound more than five thousand people could make together.

  Ash’s heart was beating so furiously, that he was afraid he’d faint. That he’d start having an anxiety episode and forget the lyrics and stain his name and Wicked Wish’s forever.

  As the song blasted on, reverberating through the immense room, he started to relax, though. Because people were singing his song. They actually knew the lyrics and were screaming them at the top of their lungs. Even as he took in the rows upon rows of upholstered wine seats, and the way the guys seemed to be having the time of their lives playing together for the army of strangers before them, Ash felt most of the weight that’d been dragging him down for days now vanish in the air. Because there were people with signs, telling him how much he was loved, telling him the places they were from. Some of them had traveled from across the country just to be here. Of all ages, they sang and jumped and… and some even cried to the songs he played. And most of them had completely ignored the seats and were standing, singing along with him. With him. They really were there because of him, singing songs he’d written holed up in his room, hiding away in Hoofslope’s hills, or running away from a psychopath. Now they were in the minds of all these people, and probably so many more… It was mind-blowing.

  They’d all really, actually come here to see him and sing with him, a nobody that was lucky enough to have someone expose him to the Internet and change his life forever.

  The wave of happiness crashed on him while the words still left his mouth and echoed through the gigantic building; while his fingers danced through the strings of his old friend, and Ash found himself grinning as he sang, the last thing he thought would happen today.

  Such was the euphoria that there came a point, as he performed a more recent, up-beat song, that he disregarded the orders the security team had expressly given him earlier in the day and jumped from the stage without missing a beat and got right in the middle of the crowd.

  And, strangely enough, there was no fear in him in that moment as he sang and played along the band. Sure, someone tugged on his shirt a little stronger than they probably should have, and at some point a middle-aged woman with a huge smile smacked a kiss right on his cheek, but it didn’t trigger his anxiety. It was okay. Music was here. His family was here. And his friends. And Logan. This was his element. No need to be afraid.

  So Ash sang and played and genuinely enjoyed himself, feeling foolish for all the stress and anxiety he’d put himself through as he waited for the day to start.

  There were hands touching his back, squeezing his shoulder and giving him friendly pats on the back, but he didn’t miss a beat.

  When, after a few minutes, he finally made it back to the stage’s edge, one of the bodyguards helped him back up, even though he seemed to be furious about having to do so.

  So was Logan, judging by his locked jaw and the way he was clenching his fists at the corner of the stage, unseen by the crowd. Ash smiled to tranquilize him and, for some reason, felt free enough to blow him a kiss. Logan’s expression brightened on the spot.

  Still smiling, Ash turned to the crowd. “How you feeling, Denver?” he shouted at the mic. The crowd screamed and shouted and whistled. Someone threw a teddy bear and it fell close to him, to his right. Ash laughed. “You know,” he said as he uncapped a bottle of water the crew had left next to his mic. He was in the middle of the set of fifteen or so songs, and the heat and strain was making him sweat a little. “This is my very first concert as a signed artist, and I’m really glad you all chose to come here tonight, to share this special moment with me.”

  Damn, he actually flinched such was the force of five thousand plus voices cheering right at his face. This would get some getting used to.

  “It’s really weird…” he continued as he took one big gulp of water. “It’s really weird not to have to introduce myself. As some of you might know, I’ve been doing this for a long time, but only in small bars … Not even i
n my wildest dreams would I have imagined that someday I’d be here, singing with so many awesome people.”

  They exploded in cheers once more and, this time, Ash managed not to recoil.

  “But, yeah, a few months ago some creep,” he emphasized the last word and winked to the crowd, to let them know he was kidding, “which I still don’t know exactly who they are, exposed a video of mine for the Internet, and now here we are.”

  Everyone was laughing and it made Ash so happy.

  “I hear you guys really liked that song. The one I covered in the video that blew up?”

  The affirmation came in a wave of screams and shouts that threatened to deafen him. He silently thanked Wicked Wish for the earplugs.

  “Alright, alright,” Ash laughed the words out. “Then maybe it’d be a good idea if we played that right now, uh?”

  Yep, thanks the heavens for the earplugs.

  As the lights all around them dimmed, Ash leaned down and sat, legs crisscrossed, using his thigh to support the guitar. He smiled directly to a little girl that was riding a guy’s shoulders — probably her dad; they had the same green eyes and light blond hair; same mouth, same forehead — staring at him like he was a superhero. He winked at her and barely caught the way her little face flushed before he closed his eyes and struck the first few notes.

  Silence fell over the room like a silky blanket. Gradually, everything faded away and the only thing he heard was his guitar and his voice filling everything. They’d agreed with the band that he wanted this part to feel intimate; just him and his fans.

  There was a point, as he sang about things funny and kinda sad, where he opened his eyes and had to push through the emotions and keep on playing and singing, but it was a close call. Because there were five thousand people in the darkened room with their phones up, shining beams at him. It was a galaxy all around him, but each star was a person.

  Feeling thankful for getting to have such a pure experience, Ash closed his eyes and forged through the rest of the song. He congratulated himself when, finally, it ended and he hadn’t shed a single tear.