Just One Scandal
Page 16
“Hello?”
“Hey, asshole. Meet me at the club in thirty minutes. We need to talk.”
Beck closed his eyes and groaned. “Linc, do we really need to do this tonight?”
“I can’t think of a better time. See you then.”
Knowing he was going to get his ass handed to him, he debated not showing up but then decided enough time had passed. The least he could do was hear Linc out.
No matter what the other man had to say.
* * *
Beck walked into the club he’d last been at with Chloe, deliberately late. If Linc was going to rip him a new one, at least he’d know he couldn’t order him around and expect immediate compliance. Sometimes it was the little things that helped a man maintain power.
He arrived to find the other man sitting at a private table in the corner with a bottle of Macallan and two lowball glasses.
Beck lowered himself into the empty seat across from him. In silence, he poured himself a drink, glanced at Linc, who merely nodded. He tipped the bottle and watched the liquid rise, finished, and slid the glass across the table.
They each picked up a glass and took a long sip.
Linc studied him, rolling the glass between his palms. “I was drunk but it was no excuse. You were my closest friend and I betrayed you.”
Beck blinked. He’d expected to be slammed about how he’d treated Chloe, not receive what was as close to an apology as he was likely to get.
“I’m not saying this to excuse my behavior, but I have a rough memory of a woman crawling into bed with me saying, ‘I’m back.’ I thought it was Lacey, too drunk to process that it wasn’t.” Linc dipped his head, his regret more than clear.
“Shit.” Beck didn’t know what to say. He’d had no idea Jenna had pretended to be Linc’s girlfriend. His stomach churned at what Linc must have been feeling. If things had been the other way around, Linc would be in jail. There were words for women like Jenna. He shook his head.
After all these years, Beck wouldn’t just take the apology, he’d give Linc a little more than his understanding. “Jenna was a bitch. I watched her make her way up the food chain at school. You were a means to an end. She wanted more of my time and used you to try and get it. When I didn’t quit my job, she moved on.” Beck shrugged. “It wasn’t easy to get past back then. Later on, it always seemed too late. The anger and hatred between us festered over time and land deals.”
“Agreed. Now answer a question for me. Did you use my sister to get back at me?” Linc took another big gulp.
“Fuck no.” Beck raised his glass and paused. “Although that first morning, I can’t say I didn’t enjoy watching you lose your shit.”
Linc rolled his eyes and Beck couldn’t withhold a grin.
But his smirk disappeared when he thought of Chloe. Sliding his hand off the glass, he curled his hands into fists. “Nothing I did for your sister had anything to do with you.”
It had everything to do with the sad female in the wedding dress trying to pretend alcohol made everything okay. Then he’d seen the real woman who’d fallen apart upstairs in the hotel suite, and something about her called to him.
He often thought she reminded him of who his sister might have been. A strong woman surrounded by brothers, struggling to make her own way. But Whitney never had that chance. And he wasn’t going to open himself up to anyone, not even the beautiful, gutsy Chloe Kingston.
“Yeah, I know you didn’t use her,” Linc said.
That shocked him. But before he could speak, Linc continued.
“What I’m trying to say is, I came to understand you weren’t using her. At lunch, Chloe told me how much you supported her, encouraged her, and were there for her in a way I couldn’t be…” Linc ran his hand over his eyes, his frustration with himself showing. “I didn’t know what my sister needed. She kept her unhappiness hidden. I had no clue she found her job unfulfilling. And no matter how many people told her she was making a mistake with Owen, she wouldn’t admit she chose him for the wrong reasons.”
Dammit. Beck actually felt sorry for his old friend. He’d feel the same way if it were his sister and he’d missed all the signs of her distress. “It’s easier for an outsider to see things,” he said, actually attempting to make Linc feel better.
“Well, regardless, you got her to open up and made sure she followed her dreams. I’m grateful and it’s not easy to admit that to you.” Linc leaned forward in his chair. “But what I’m not happy with is the fact that she moved out of your apartment because you were a fucking asshole to her.”
“And there’s the jerk I know. Welcome back,” Beck muttered. But he couldn’t help but ask, “How is she?” He’d been thinking about her nonstop, hating himself for hurting her and frozen inside, unable to thaw and reach for what he really wanted.
“How do you think she is? But she’s tough. She’ll get over you,” Linc said oh so easily.
Ouch. The thought of Chloe moving on made him want to puke, but he forced himself to remember his reasons. “Look. You want what’s best for Chloe and so do I. The one thing we can agree on is that’s not me.” It couldn’t be him.
“As much as it galls me to admit this, you’re wrong,” Linc said. “She loves you and thinks you can make her happy. From what I’ve seen, she’s right.”
That Linc, of all people, was pushing him toward Chloe was a shock. Still, Beck shook his head, not wanting to delve into his past and his pain with anyone. But he owed it to Chloe to explain it to someone who could help her get through this.
He finished his drink for fortification and put the glass down on the table. “You know about my sister.”
Linc nodded. “And I know that’s why you’ve shut Chloe out. I just think you need to reconsider. You’re denying yourself happiness out of fear. I can tell you from experience, love is worth the risk.”
“Loss isn’t and that’s not something you’ve experienced yet. And I don’t wish that on anyone. Including you.” He refilled his glass.
“Well, at least I can say I tried.” Linc leaned back in his chair, a disgusted look on his face. “But you’re the same stubborn asshole you’ve always been,” Linc said but his smirk meant he wasn’t serious. He clearly didn’t like Beck’s choices but knew they were his to make.
Beck lifted his glass and treated Linc to the same grin. “Back at you, buddy,” he said and took another drink before sliding his chair back and heading home.
* * *
Chloe made it through the long weekend, in part because Xander stayed in the city instead of heading back to his beach house. He didn’t want to leave her alone, and she was grateful for the company. They hung out, binge watched television, ordered in pizza and ice cream, and just had a chill couple of days.
She missed seeing her brother, and spending time alone together was special. She heard all about his upcoming movie. Of course, she’d already read the book, but she enjoyed hearing about the script alterations that were made and the reasons for changing it compared to the novel. But no matter how much Xander tried to distract her, she couldn’t forget Beck.
After talking and seeing him daily, she hadn’t heard a word since she’d moved out. She had no idea how he’d felt about coming home to find her gone, whether he’d been relieved he hadn’t had to ask her to leave or sad to lose what they’d shared.
It was crazy how they’d bonded so fast, during such unusual circumstances, and she wished things could be different. But not having him in her life didn’t mean she wasn’t concerned about his family, especially his father. She had Tripp’s phone number saved and, earlier this morning, called him to get his mom’s cell. She checked in without discussing anything about Beck. His mom didn’t ask, and she didn’t offer information about why she wasn’t getting her follow-ups from Beck himself.
Despite being miserable and missing Beck, Chloe refused to give in to the same melancholy that had pulled her down after Owen left her at the altar. She had goals to focus on and a future
to prepare for.
She already knew she’d survived being publicly humiliated and dumped on her wedding day, so she’d somehow get through losing Beck.
* * *
Beck spent the weekend at the hospital and the office, avoiding his empty apartment, where every room reminded him of Chloe.
Linc’s voice echoed in his ear. The unexpected apology. The admission that he felt Beck was good for Chloe. And the disgust on Linc’s face when Beck refused to give in and see things the same way.
Monday evening, Beck left work and headed to his parents’ house. His dad had been released that morning and spent the day in bed resting. Beck wouldn’t stay long, but he needed to see his father for himself and know that he was okay.
He let himself in and found his mom in the kitchen, making chicken soup. After walking over, he gave her a kiss. “Hey.”
“Hi, Beck. Perfect timing. Your brothers staggered their visits today, and you’re the last one for the night. He’s completely up for seeing you.” She smiled. “Want some soup?”
“No, thanks. I picked up something and ate in the car on the way here. I didn’t want you to have another mouth to feed. You have enough to worry about.”
She waved the ladle at him. Soup dripped on the floor and his mom just laughed. “It’s my job to feed you. I don’t care how old you are.”
Beck grabbed a paper towel and wiped up the spill.
“Now where’s that beautiful girl of yours?” she asked. “I can’t believe how sweet she is. She really took care of us all at the hospital.”
He cringed. He hadn’t thought his mom would ask about Chloe because she’d be too consumed with worry over his dad. Though he considered fudging the truth, he couldn’t lie to his mother. “She moved out and I haven’t spoken to her since then.”
His mom stopped stirring and grew still. Then she placed the large spoon on the counter, shut the knob on the stove top, and walked over to the kitchen table.
Gesturing to the chairs, she said, “Sit.” It sounded like an order and Beck took it as one.
He sat across from his mother and waited for whatever it was she had to say.
“Why?” she asked.
“Why what?” He was playing dumb, but it bought him time to gather his thoughts.
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t play games with me, Beckett. Why did Chloe move out?”
Dammit, she’d pulled out the big guns, his full name.
He studied the woman who, in his opinion, was one of the strongest he’d ever met. She’d survived losing a child and managed to hold her family together afterwards.
“Because she told me she loved me and I … I can’t say it back.” He clasped his hands together in front of him.
His mom narrowed her gaze. “Because you don’t? Or because you’re afraid?”
When he remained silent, she spoke again. “I saw how you two acted together. The sweet touches, the whispers, the reading each other’s mind.” She shrugged. “Did I judge you two wrong?”
He swallowed hard and forced himself to face his mother and the truth. “No. You didn’t.”
Beck had been trying not to replay his talk with Linc, but one thing kept running through his mind. You’re denying yourself happiness out of fear.
He absolutely was. And he was pissed at himself for it.
“Okay, honey, listen to me.” She leaned forward and put her hand on his. “We all lost your sister.” Her voice was shaky but she went on. “We all grieved. And we all moved on because we had no choice. But you … you’re stuck in that place where you think the doctors lied and anyone with cancer is going to die. Neither of those things is true.”
He dipped his head, unable to speak because she was right.
“They say your father will beat this, and I choose to believe them. Otherwise I’ll live in fear and I refuse to do that.”
Beck jerked his head up and met her gaze. “How do you do it? Remain so optimistic? Move on?”
She squeezed his hand tighter. “Because the years I had with your sister mean everything to me. Do you think I would give those up even if I knew the ultimate outcome?” She shook her head in reply. “We both know I wouldn’t. I had her for sixteen beautiful, wonderful years.” Tears fell from her eyes, and she wiped at them with her free hand. “Losing her destroyed me for a while, but I had so much to live for. You, your brothers, your father.”
Beck listened to his mother. Really listened. Because he suddenly realized if he didn’t, he stood to lose the most precious thing in his life now.
Hell, maybe he already had.
“So let me ask you something,” his mom said.
He looked at his mother. “How have you been feeling since Chloe left you?” she asked.
“Empty. In pain. I’ve been doing everything I can not to think about it because I have only myself to blame. But Whitney’s always there, stopping me from letting myself feel more,” he admitted.
His mother pursed her lips. “Okay, let me ask you a different question. If Chloe died today, would you be relieved you let her go so you didn’t feel pain? Or would you feel angry and regret the four days you could have had with her?”
He jerked in his chair, those words finally penetrating the frozen barrier he’d kept around himself. The one he’d tried to use to keep Chloe out. But it hadn’t worked. She’d reached inside him anyway and captured the one thing he’d sworn never to give away.
His heart.
He rose to his feet.
“Where are you going?” his mother asked, a knowing smile on her face.
He grinned. “To see Dad. Then I have a couple of things to do tomorrow morning.”
“And then?” She stood up, joining him.
“I’m going to get my girl … if she hasn’t given up on me.”
His mom smiled. “Good. Because the other thing I know is that Whitney would never have wanted you to live your life alone. And by the way,” she called out to him.
He turned back toward her.
“I think Chloe will cut you some slack for being stuck in the past.”
He hoped like hell his mother was right. Because even if he deserved to have Chloe turn her back on him, he couldn’t handle losing her forever.
Chapter Twelve
Beck walked to his sister’s grave and sat down beside the gray stone. The sun shone overhead, the day fitting his positive mood. He no longer had a weight sitting on his chest, and he had his mother and her opening up about love and life to thank for the profound shift. He’d let her talk about his sister, and he’d listened instead of tuning her out or storming off because he didn’t want to face the pain.
Beck held the laminated paper and a spoon in his hand. He wasn’t one for talking to someone who was no longer alive, but he believed his sister was aware of his feelings and the changes inside him thanks to their wise mother.
She had made him see some truths he never would have realized on his own. Losing Chloe already hurt. Coming home to an empty apartment and discovering he’d driven her off had felt like he’d taken a sledgehammer to his heart, and he damned sure regretted every second since he’d rejected her. If something happened to her, he’d be just as devastated whether they were in a relationship or not. He was wasting precious time being alone and hurting the woman he loved in the process.
As much as it sucked to admit, Linc had also made a valid point. Beck had been denying himself happiness out of fear. It had taken Chloe coming into his life and making herself at home in his heart for him to be willing to listen to his mother for the first time and be able to put the past where it belonged.
Taking the spoon, he dug up a small layer of grass large enough to hold his sister’s bucket list, and he placed it in the ground. Then he covered it up again, patting down the earth.
“I know I was putting off completing the end of the list. I didn’t want to finish it because it felt like a final goodbye,” he said. “But I’m ready now because I did it. I fell in love just like you wanted me to.”r />
He drew a deep breath and went on. “As for getting married, well, we just have to hope I didn’t screw things up with Chloe too badly. And if I can make that happen, we’ll both go see the last item on your list.”
Smiling, he placed a hand on the cool stone. “I know you’d love Chloe, too. Just like I know this isn’t goodbye because you’re always with me.” He waited a few seconds longer, heard the chirp of a bird, nodded, and walked off, his head and his heart lighter than they had ever been.
From the cemetery not far from his parents’ house, Beck drove back into the city, to the address Linc had given him. Surprisingly, his old friend hadn’t given Beck a hard time when he’d called to ask where Chloe was staying. Linc had, however, warned Beck that this was the only chance he’d get to make things right. If Beck hurt her again, they’d be back to hostile enemies. Beck got it.
He found a parking spot around the corner, not an easy feat in Manhattan in general, and walked to the building. He knew Linc had called Xander ahead of time, and the doorman let Beck head up to his floor, and he knocked on the door.
While waiting for someone to answer, he shifted on his feet, knowing if it was Chloe, he’d be groveling immediately. Anything to undo the pain and damage he’d done.
The door opened and Xander Kingston stood in front of him. He was buffer than Linc and had a full beard covering his face. Even his stance said ex-marine. Apparently being a thriller writer hadn’t softened him one bit.
“Beck,” the man said, stepping aside so he could enter.
He walked inside, turned, and shook the other man’s hand. “Good to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“From Chloe.” Xander dropped his sister’s name between them, the glare in his eyes matching his expression.
Another Kingston brother ready to kill him, and Beck couldn’t even blame him. “Is she here?”
Xander cocked an eyebrow. “I heard the shower go on a few minutes ago. I’m sure she’ll be out soon.”
“You didn’t give her a heads-up that I was coming?” Beck asked.
Xander shrugged. “I figured it would give you and me time to talk. This way.” He tipped his head, gesturing for Beck to follow.