Accidentally Yours

by Jerry Cole

  “Where to?” He startled me out of my own thoughts and I quickly turned my attention back to the road.

  “Oh, take a left up here,” I tried to remain focused on the task at hand, but I kept looking at his hands, wishing he would reach out and touch my head again. How long had it been since anybody had actually touched me? Too long, apparently.

  I was even a little upset when we arrived at the park.

  “Here we go,” I said to Friendly, clipping her leash to her collar. She didn’t need it, but leash laws are a thing.

  The four of us wandered into the park and found a hotdog stand where we ate too many overpriced hotdogs. We didn’t talk too much. We mostly watched the dogs run and played a chaotic game of fetch. I didn’t notice the time slipping away until the alarm on my phone rang.

  “You have someplace to be?”

  I wiped the sweat off of my brow and dusted the grass off of my pants.

  “Therapy.”

  “Oh, you need a ride?”

  I shook my head.

  “I can do this alone.”

  “Oh,” he looked a little dejected but didn’t argue.

  “I’ll check in on you two later...if that’s okay with you.”

  He smiled and looked up.

  “You can call me anytime. Really, for anything.”

  “Okay, thanks, and umm, bye-bye.”

  Friendly followed me out of the park and I made my way to the converted brownstone that my therapist used as a clinic.

  “You look happy,” Dr. Severes said.

  “I am.”

  “Good news?”

  “I think I made a friend,” I said softly.

  “You’ve made friends before. You weren’t this happy. Is there something special about this one?”

  I shook my head but couldn’t keep from smiling.

  “Not really.”

  “Oh? Why don’t you tell me a little about this new friend?”

  Chapter Six

  Josh

  I kept checking my phone all day. I finally had to convince myself that he wasn’t going to call as the hour crept toward midnight. I finally managed to get into bed and close my eyes, but I kept thinking about the way his hair fell over his eyes and the way he would force his hands not to fidget when he was uncomfortable. There was something lovely about him that I couldn’t shake.

  I pondered over the tiny piece of his backstory that he shared with me. He wasn’t exactly a big guy now, but at sixteen he was probably even more baby-faced and slight. Being abducted and beaten up must have been terrifying. I didn’t allow myself to think about what else his abductors might have done to him. The world is sick and there are too many sick people in it. He hadn’t gone into details but I knew that little admission must have cost him something. That kind of bravery was proof that he was made of steel. That was sexy as hell.

  When I woke up, I had a painful erection and two text messages from Ian.

  Ian: How was your first night together? Did you sleep well?

  I stared at it for a solid ten minutes, trying to figure out the best way to reply. I didn’t want to sound needy but I wasn’t sure what to say that would force him to reply. I checked the time on the message. It had already been an hour since he sent it and I was feeling the pressure to respond. For some reason, I didn’t want him to think that I slept in.

  Just as I was about to say something that sounded brilliant in my head, he sent another message. This time it was a photo of him and Friendly sitting on a fire escape with a giant fern behind him and a cup of coffee in his hand. They both looked bright-eyed and happy, enjoying the sunshine.

  Ian: Thank you for yesterday.

  SHIT!!!

  I hobbled into the shower and didn’t come out until I’d given myself some relief. This was crazy. I was slowly going crazy. Despite cumming twice, I was still excited by the idea of him. And not the normal fantasies that you’d expect. I was wondering what he looked like first thing in the morning. Did he wear pajamas to bed? Did the top button come loose while he slept, exposing his collar bone? Did he sleep on his back or his side, curled into the blankets?

  Ugh!

  An hour and a half after his first message to me, I replied.

  Josh: We’re getting along. We slept really well.

  That was supposed to be the end of it. I told myself that I was not going to insert myself into his life. He had enough issues without adding my unwanted affections and it was becoming pretty obvious that I wasn’t going to be able to hide it for too long. I stood at the kitchen window and watched Shaolin walk around the yard, trying to find a good spot to poop when my phone buzzed again.

  Ian: That’s good.

  I read it and put the phone down. I didn’t have to reply. There was no reason why I couldn’t leave it at that. I could just imagine how he would react when he finally realized that I had a crush on him. He’d probably run for the hills. I couldn’t be sure, but I was convinced that he probably didn’t have much dating experience. Even under the best of circumstances, it would be a little difficult to handle being hit on by a guy for the first time. As much as I hated to admit it, this was far from the ideal circumstance. I looked down at the phone.

  Ian: Can I call you?

  SHIT!!! Why would he write that? Why would he call me? Should I just ignore it? It was too late to pretend that I simply hadn’t seen it.

  Josh: Sure.

  I was a little breathless as I waited for the phone to ring. It took longer than I expected, so maybe he was just as nervous as I was. I didn’t want to hope for too much.

  “Hey, so I hope you don’t mind me sending you text messages early in the morning. I was up early chatting with Joanne and…”

  “No, it’s okay. I didn’t mind. I was actually kind of glad to see it.”

  “She said you’d say that. She’s really good at reading people.”

  “Really? We should get together sometime and see if I can get her seal of approval,” I said in the most douche-like way. I rolled my eyes and smacked my forehead. I sounded like a polyester king in a cheap nightclub.

  “That’s highly unlikely. She doesn’t live far but she’s a complete shut-in. She hasn’t left the house in years.”

  “Really?” I was not expecting that.

  “Yeah, we met online. We video chat sometimes but I’ve never met her in person. I hate to admit it but she’s probably my best friend.” He sounded embarrassed and I could hear the hitch in his breathing as he waited for me to laugh.

  I wasn’t laughing.

  “She’s got to be a pretty amazing person to be able to make friends like that.”

  “She is, but technology helps. There’s a whole community of people, like me, who don’t do too well around people.” He seemed relieved as if this had been a secret he was dying to tell somebody for a long time and he finally found somebody who would listen.

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but I’m not-- I’m not a shut-in. I mean, my anxiety is pretty bad but I still get out.”

  “I know.”

  “I guess, I’m telling you this because my therapist, and Joanne both agree that I should let you know up-front what my issues are. This way, you know…”

  “If you fall apart on me, I won’t be surprised.”

  “Yeah.”

  I fucking melted! Could he be any more adorable? How am I not supposed to want to hold him, and hug him, and tell him that everything will be fine because I got his back?

  “It’s hard for me to make friends. My issues usually make people nervous. I just...don’t take this the wrong way, but I like you and I like hanging out with you and Shaolin. I hope we can be good friends.”

  “Me too,” I put my coffee down and leaned against the counter. The last thing I wanted was to be caught in the friend zone with Ian, but it wouldn’t be the first time that my heart went racing where my ass couldn’t follow. And of all the bad emotional investments I’ve made in my life, being Ian’s friend was probably the least of them.


  “So, where did Shaolin sleep? Has he taken over your life yet?”

  “I still put him in the laundry room to sleep. The vet recommended I do that for a week or so and keep an eye out for any illnesses or bad habits. So far, other than pissing on my flowers, he seems to be a pretty stable guy.”

  “Good.”

  “I see from your picture you got a big ass fern at your house.”

  “Oh! I love plants. My house looks like a jungle. I don’t get out as much as I should, so I guess this is my way of bringing nature to me.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Is that weird?”

  “Nah, that’s just perfect,” and it was because I had an idea. “I actually have to stop by a nursery a little later today. Do you want to come with me?”

  “Oh,” he sounded flustered again, but I knew that meant yes. “Any time after four is good for me.”

  “Four it is. Do you want me to send you the address or should I pick you up?”

  “Uhm—”

  I could feel his hesitation. Giving out his address would take a lot of trust, and I hadn’t earned it yet. I liked that. I like a man that makes me work for it.

  “I can meet you there if you don’t mind.”

  “No, not at all. I’ll text you the address and meet you at the entrance.”

  “Great! See you then,” he hung up so fast I was wondering if I’d hallucinated the whole thing.

  I went to the back door and let Shaolin back into the house. He made a beeline to his bowl and I fed him. He looked happy, despite the fact that we were nearly strangers. But, like everything else that meant anything to me, he seemed to fit. There was no rhyme or reason to it, and no need to explain it. Standing in my kitchen, watching this dog eat his breakfast seemed like the way things were supposed to be. The only way to make it perfect would be to have Ian standing next to me, sipping his coffee.

  “I think what we need here is a project,” I said, looking at my watch. “And I think I have just the thing.”

  I showered and jumped in my truck and drove over to the hardware store. I wasn’t sure how the boys at the store would react to seeing me walk into the store with a big pit bull next to me, but it was pretty clear that Shaolin wasn’t going to stay home and wait for me to return. Some part of me knew if I tried to lock him up in the laundry room while I went out shopping he’d chew the drywall right off the wall. Luckily, nobody said anything, and I got in and out quickly.

  I spent the rest of the day installing a doggy door in my back door. It was really just busywork, but I needed to keep my hands busy while I waited for hours to creep by.

  When I finally turned up outside of the nursery, Ian was standing on the corner waiting for me again. This time Friendly wore her vest, complete with a small army of patches that told others not to pet her, informed everybody that she was a service dog, and reminded people about a number of eco-friendly ideas that they should live by. Once again, Ian’s backpack was in place but his jeans and t-shirt looked newer...nicer like he’d picked them out special.

  Shaolin jumped out of the truck and ran over to Ian, expressing in a wiggling bottom and licks, what I was feeling. Friendly stoically ignored Shaolin, keeping her eyes on Ian instead. She looked worried, which made me a little uneasy.

  “Were you waiting long?”

  “Oh, no!” He looked startled but not scared.

  “Let’s go.”

  I reached out an arm, intending to sling it across his shoulders before I caught myself. Even my Uncle needed a warning before you hugged him. Ian was much jumpier than he’d ever been. Ian looked up at my arm hanging in mid-air.

  “Sorry,” I said sheepishly.

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind, I just wasn’t expecting it.”

  He said the right thing but his eyes told a different story. Even if he said it was okay to touch him, it was best if I kept my hands to myself...for both of us. I decided not to push it and we went into the nursery. We were wandering around for twenty minutes before I caught Ian looking unusually uncomfortable.

  “Do you want to get out of here?”

  He shook his head.

  “Let’s just keep walking,” he said. I followed his lead, keeping one eye on Friendly, who seemed to be just as upset by Ian’s mood as I was.

  “Did something happen before I arrived?”

  “No, not really. I just get jumpy when people pass too close to me or brush up against me randomly.”

  “Who passed by and brushed up against you?” I was seeing red and grinding my teeth.

  “Nobody,” he said quickly. “Just some guys. It was nothing, really. I’m just a little sensitive.”

  That’s when I spotted them. I wasn’t sure it was them at first but after walking for a few more minutes I noticed that they were following us. Everywhere we went, they showed up a few seconds later. They were trying to be inconspicuous but it was obvious to me that they were watching Ian and that made me a lot more angry than it should. I positioned myself so that my back was to them and Ian faced me.

  “Are those the guys?”

  He looked up and over my shoulder. When he saw them, he looked startled again but didn’t run. Friendly read his expression and moved closer to him, leaning against his leg. Ian reached down to stroke her fur without saying a word. He watched them for a moment and then turned back to a selection of flowering shrubs.

  “Yeah.”

  “Stay here, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Wait, Josh—”

  He reached out and caught my wrist but I pulled out of his grasp in one smooth motion. I didn’t know who these guys were or what they wanted, but I was about to give them a serious warning against any bad ideas they might have been brewing.

  Chapter Seven

  “You’re safe, stay calm.”

  The gentle pressure of Friendly’s body pressed against my leg reminded me that I didn’t have to give in to the feelings I had. I could choose to be calm and think my way through. Those two guys were obviously looking at me, but they didn’t look angry. In fact, they looked nervous.

  “Stay here, I’ll take care of it.”

  Josh’s face was hard, his nostrils flared and his shoulders squared like a man going to war.

  “Wait, Josh!”

  I grabbed his wrist but couldn’t get a good grip. He was already moving in their direction by the time I made contact. I looked down at Friendly who seemed just as clueless about what to do as I was.

  He approached them with long, quick strides. I followed behind him, not knowing what else to do.

  “Hey buddy, do we have a problem!” He was nearly yelling, his voice reverberating off of the corrugated steel walls.

  The guys looked even more nervous but didn’t run away.

  “Hey, my name is Brian and this is my cousin Jeff,” the taller of the two boys said.

  “Hi, Brian. Hi, Jeff. Is there a reason why you’re following us?” Josh’s body was as tense and lethal as a drawn bowstring. His hands curled into fists at his sides as he glared at the two boys.

  “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean any harm. We were just wondering,” Brian turned and looked directly at me. “Are you OZ?”

  I put my hand on Josh’s arm and he flinched as if it hurt. I stepped around him, putting my body between him and the pair. Jeff grabbed Brian’s hand and gave me a guileless smile.

  “I am, are you two fans?”

  “I’m familiar with your work but my brother is the real fan,” Brian pushed his brother forward.

  “Hi, Jeff.”

  The younger brother waved like a small child and hid his face behind his hands. I could feel the tension in Josh’s body begin to ebb as he watched the situation unfold. Friendly inserted herself between Jeff and me; I patted her head to let her know I was okay.

  “He can talk, but he gets very shy,” Brian explained.

  “That’s okay,” I faced Jeff. “I get very shy too. I have a hard time meeting new people, or anybody really.”
/>   “Is this your dog?” Brian pointed to Friendly.

  “Yeah, she’s my best friend. She helps me when I’m outside.”

  Jeff waved to Friendly and his brother took his hand and turned it over so that Friendly could smell it.

  “What do I do here?”

  She looked up at me for a command. I released her to greet him and she licked his hand once before sitting down. He giggled again and seemed genuinely excited to meet her. Friendly, in her gentle and stable way, allowed him to pet her without taking her eyes off of me.

  “Is it okay if we take a picture? Nobody would ever believe this. He won’t be able to stop talking about it for weeks.”

  “Sure,” I took his cell phone from him and handed it to Josh who was still standing silently behind me. He took it from me, but he was still seething with negative energy.

  I stood as close to the brothers as I could tolerate, and Josh took the picture quickly before handing the phone back to Brian.

  “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. He just really wanted to meet you but we weren’t sure if it was you. There aren’t a lot of photos of you out there,” he said, more for Josh’s benefit than mine.

  “It’s okay. I hardly ever get recognized.”

  “You hardly ever leave the house.”

  “Oh, well, we’re sorry about the weirdness earlier,” Brian shot Josh a wary look before grabbing Jeff by the hand and dragging him off.

  Josh watched them go but didn’t say anything. His gaze was still intense and his hands were shoved deep into his pockets.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah...no,” he turned a circle and stomped his foot. “What the hell was that?”

  “Jeff?”

  “No, I mean I understand about Jeff, but what was that all about?”

  I stared at him, completely at a loss.

  “I was ready to murder this kid for looking at you wrong. I’m still ready to murder him. You say the word and that kid is toast.”

  “I get that.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t! I don’t get what the fuck is wrong with me!”