Heal With You (Trials of Fear Book 6)

by Nicky James

Hearing his name, the golden Persian wandered in from the hallway and stretched, butt high in the air as he let out a long, exhausted meow-yawn.

  “Yeah, I’m up, I’m up,” I told the cat.

  I pulled on my boxers and encouraged Jackson to follow me into the kitchen just as I heard Adrian leave.

  “You and me, killer. Let’s make food and catch up on emails, shall we?”

  I set the coffee pot to brew, opened a can of food for the furball, and brought my laptop into the living room. I clicked on the light before logging into my email.

  No more living in the darkness. It’d taken time, but I spent my days with the lights on—and the curtains closed. Baby steps.

  My phone rang as I was replying to a new job offer for a website design. I grabbed it and checked the ID. It was Krew.

  “Hey, Pookie,” I said with a grin.

  “No. Just stop. We talked about this. Pookie is not a word that should be any part of your vocabulary. It doesn’t work coming from your mouth. It’s ridiculous. You’re ridiculous. Just no. Call me anything but Pookie.”

  “All right, Abu.”

  He gasped and sputtered before, “Not cool, Rory. Not cool. I hate you. Unless you have some reason why you’re tormenting me before noon on a Wednesday morning, I’m hanging up.”

  “I thought you liked Disney. He’s the little monkey thing in Aladdin, isn’t he? Cute and compact, like you. A little spastic, also like you.”

  “Fuck you for calling me a monkey. I’m gonna count to five, and if you don’t give me a viable reason for tormenting me pre-coffee, I’m hanging up. One…”

  I laughed because I could see the exaggerated hissy fit he was pulling through the phone. “Relax. I wanted to ask you something.”

  “Pretty sure the answer is no, but go on.”

  “Adrian and I leave for that conference in Alberta on Friday.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m on kitty patrol. Feed him twice a day. Change his litter. Play with him. You act like I haven’t had years of fur-daddy training. I know what I’m doing.”

  “Not that. Actually, any chance you wanna come?”

  Silence bled through the line for three solid beats before Krew said, “I’m sorry, come again? I thought you just asked me to fly to Alberta with you.”

  “I did. Adrian is gonna be crazy busy helping Erin and you know I have the worst social skills on the planet.”

  “Understatement of the century.”

  “Shut up. Anyhow, I need company. Someone to keep me sane while Adrian is busy. Someone who will help me be social or something like that. Make sure I don’t say stupid things. I know it’s last minute, but it’d help a lot having you there.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Very. I’m begging you. I’m on my hands and knees. Please say yes. Don’t make me do this alone.”

  “So you need me to be your wingman?”

  “I’m not looking to hook up, I’m trying not to look like an idiot in front of all these people.”

  “Am I even allowed to go?”

  “Yes. Why wouldn’t you be?”

  “It’s a phobia conference. Isn’t having a phobia kinda a pre-requisite? I mean, I could fake it. Ooh, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll invent a truly immaculate phobia no one has ever heard about. Like… Fear of—"

  “Krew, stop!” I groaned and rubbed a hand over my eyes. “You don’t need a fake phobia. Adrian will sort out getting you in. Just tell me if you can come.”

  Krew blew out a breath and made some weird noise with his mouth while he thought. “I’ll have to talk to Max. If I can get my shifts covered for the weekend, I can’t see why not.”

  “You’d be my lifesaver.”

  “Damn right I will. I’m your complete opposite, baby. People and crowds are my thing. You sure I don’t need a phobia?”

  “Positive.”

  “Fear of Furknuckles. No. Furknucklephobia. That’s it. I just made that up, but for real, have you seen those guys who have severely hairy knuckles. It’s creepy. It’s like Bigfoot was their daddy and—”

  “For the love of God, please stop.”

  “Fine, I’ll think of something better. Give me time. I’ll text you in a bit. Max went into work early today, so he’s not here. Send me your flight info, and if I can swing it, I’ll get tickets today.”

  “No problem.”

  “And, sweetheart?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You call me Abu to my face and I will kick you in the balls. Adrian will be without his favorite toys for many days, understand me?”

  “Yeah, Pookie. No problem.”

  “I hate you.”

  “Hate you too.”

  “Kisses.”

  I hung up, chuckling to myself and already feeling ten tons lighter than I had during my anxiety attack during the night. Maybe I could manage to make it through this crazy conference in one piece.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Krew

  I skipped up the back stairs at Limbos, my arms loaded with a tray of coffees and a bag of muffins from a local bakery. The bar was quiet at this earlier hour, and Eshan informed me Max was locked away in his office, buried in paperwork.

  I knocked and poked my head in, batting my lashes when Max peered up. “Delivery,” I sing-songed with a hungry smile I knew got Max going.

  He grinned and leaned back in his chair, removing his reading glasses and dropping them on top of the piles of papers littering his desk. Then his gaze scanned my body once before meeting my eyes.

  “You’re out of bed before noon? Who are you and what have you done with my boy?”

  I rolled my eyes and let myself in, hip checking the door closed behind me. “I know, right? Fucking Rory’s fault. That man should know enough to respect my sleep patterns. But no, he had to text me at half past the ass-crack of dawn, and I was in the middle of an amazing dream too.”

  Max cocked a brow when my face turned wistful as I remembered it. “Something I can re-enact later?”

  “Not unless you have a unicorn costume, three tons of glitter, high heels, and a Disney cruise liner in your back pocket.”

  Max sat forward and helped himself to a coffee as he chuckled and shook his head. He didn’t have a response to that.

  I dropped down on the seat across from his desk and helped myself to the other coffee, cracked the lid, and took a hearty sip before explaining my early presence at the bar.

  “So, what are the chances I can get the weekend off?”

  “What are you talking? Friday and Saturday?”

  “Probably Thursday night too. Rory needs a wingman for this conference in Alberta. He called this morning to see if I could go with him and Adrian.”

  Max’s eyes grew noticeably wider. “Alberta?”

  “That phobia conference, remember? Adrian will be busy a lot, and Rory’s social skills don’t exist. He needs me and my unbridled comradery to fill the gaps.”

  “How long would you be gone?” Max asked as he flipped open his planner and slid his reading glasses back on the end of his nose.

  He looked distinguished and orderly with them on. Businesslike. And sexy as fuck. Especially with his slicked back silver hair which showed only a hint of its once dark color. His pressed button-up with its opened collar showed off the tips of the tattoos littering his firm chest. I knew what lay underneath all that disciplined calm. Imagining it almost made me forget the question.

  “Four days. They fly out early Friday morning and return Monday afternoon.”

  Max continued to study his planner, a tiny crease appearing between his brows. “Shouldn’t be a problem. Let me make a few calls to the boys and see what I can do.” His gaze flicked to me, and a hint of a smirk turned the corner of his lips. “Did you book tickets yet?”

  “No, I wanted to talk to you first to be sure. Plus… I was hoping I could book two. Will you come with me?”

  The half smile turned full as Max slipped his glasses off once again. Leaning elbows on the desk, he hooked his fi
nger, encouraging me to come closer.

  I set my coffee down and leaned across the desk from the other side, meeting him in the middle. Max took my chin in a gentle hold and brushed his lips to mine. “Don’t want to be a third wheel, do you?”

  I pouted and shook my head. “You know once Adrian’s free Rory’s gonna toss me aside like a dirty pair of underwear. Then I’ll spend my days alone with my good looks, wit, and irresistible charm, and let’s be honest, my inability to keep my mouth shut. I can’t be trusted not to draw too much attention when left to my own devices. It could get sketchy. Your boy, alone and sexy as sin in a province I don’t know and in a city that makes Dewhurst look small.”

  “Sounds dangerous. We wouldn’t want that.” Max kissed me again, longer that time. He lingered and sighed into the kiss before pulling back. “Book two tickets and a room. A nice room. I’ll work on the schedule.”

  “Thank you, Max.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  Finnley

  “I think we should cancel. I know I said I could do this, but I can’t.”

  I stared at our open suitcases, sitting side by side on our king sized bed, fully packed and ready for our trip to Alberta. The knot in my stomach grew tighter the more I considered leaving our province and traveling nearly two thousand miles away from Dewhurst.

  Two thousand miles!

  It was too far. What if…

  “Finn.” Aven’s arms wrapped around me from behind, one palm pressed over my heart as he dragged me back against his body, his nose tickling the hairs on my nape as he dragged it along my neck. I would bet money he could feel the frantic rhythm inside my chest playing out underneath that hand. “We talked about this. Extensively. Bryn isn’t due for two more weeks. Fourteen days. Her last appointment showed no signs of early labor. And if—if—she does go into labor early, we catch the next flight back. Simple as that.”

  I shook my head as my stomach dropped. “Not simple. The flight is four hours. Plus, the drive to Toronto is three. That’s seven hours away if we managed to grab an immediate flight.” I spun in Aven’s arms and shifted my gaze between his dark eyes. “I wanna be there. I can’t miss the birth of our baby. Not a single second of it. I can’t…”

  “We won’t. It’s her first baby. The likelihood is, she’ll be in labor a long time. We’ll get home with time to spare. She promised she would let us know at the first sign. The very first twinge of possible labor.” Aven held my face, his touch along my cheeks soothing. A complete contradiction to my frantic flight into panic.

  “But… I’m supposed to cut the cord. We are supposed to. Together. We are supposed to be the first ones to hold the baby. You and me. What if we miss it all?”

  “We won’t.”

  “What if we do?”

  “If we do—which we won’t—it doesn’t nullify anything. If our little boy or girl is in some kind of hurry to get here before we make it back, he or she will be here waiting for us.”

  I sighed and sank against Aven’s chest and wrapped my arms tight around his torso as he stroked my hair and kissed my temple.

  “Or we could cancel.”

  “Everything is in motion, baby. Our room is booked, our flight, and we have a million people on standby ready to contact us at the drop of a hat. Dr. Kelby is expecting you and relying on you to do this. You’ve committed.”

  “She’d understand.”

  “Yeah, she would, but don’t you think you’re freaking out just a bit?”

  My muscles loosened as Aven massaged the tight knots from my neck and shoulders with the hand not holding me tight. I nuzzled against his throat, inhaling his invigorating, familiar cologne and closing my eyes.

  “Okay. Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just… tired. I’ve barely slept a whole night this week. Between the conference and the baby, I’m struggling.”

  “I know.”

  And he did. Whenever I showed the slightest sign of slipping, the slightest rise in anxiety, Aven knew. He’d find me on the couch in the middle of the night, wrapped in a blanket, and zombie-eyed as I watched a million repeat episodes of Friends. Without a word, he’d gather me up and encourage me to return to bed. We’d make love and talk about the baby until exhaustion won and I’d fall asleep again.

  “Can I pack the car? Are we good?” he asked.

  “Yeah. Pack the car. I’m gonna call Bryn one last time before we hit the road.”

  “Okay.” Aven ducked his chin and tipped my head up to find my lips. He kissed me long and deep, warming me from the inside out and reminding me that we were a team and we did all things together.

  When this conference was over, we’d come home and be ready for the next step in our lives. Parenthood.

  Happy butterflies swooshed around my belly, and I grinned into our kiss. Every time I remembered it, every time my thoughts went to our near future, I was giddy with excitement.

  We’d bought a house in a good neighborhood, moved three months ago, and spent all our free time making a nursery and shopping for our new addition. We’d decided to keep the sex of the baby a surprise, so most purchases were neutral.

  The nursery was rainforest themed, and stuffed jungle animals hung from every surface just waiting for their new owner to be born.

  My heart couldn’t swell any more without rupturing through my chest.

  Aven broke the kiss and caressed my cheek before pulling away. “Tell Bryn, hello, and we are one hundred percent on call for her any time, day or night.”

  “I will.”

  As Aven zipped up our suitcases and dragged them from the room, I dug inside my pocket for my phone. Bryn’s number was listed as a favorite, so when I drew up my contact list, hers was on the top.

  She’d been so open and kind through the whole pregnancy. We hadn’t missed a step. Every moment, from the first kick, to the food cravings, to the ultrasounds and doctor’s appointments was shared. Bryn let us into her life happily, and we knew without a doubt we couldn’t have found a better young woman to carry our baby.

  “Hello, Finn,” Bryn answered with a smile in her voice.

  “How are you doing? How are you feeling? Any symptoms or signs of labor? I can cancel. I’ll stay. If you need—”

  “Go to your conference. I swear to you, this little tyke is comfortable and doesn’t plan to vacate the premises anytime soon. I think I’ll be pregnant until Christmas at this rate. My feet are swollen like balloons and are killing me, my back is sore, and I’m gonna have to spend the next decade working off this pizza craving, but I swear we are both great.”

  I smiled and dropped onto the edge of the bed. “Sounds like you need a gentle massage. I’ll book you an appointment.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “I insist. I’ll set it up before I leave and text you the details. Are you sure you’re okay with us leaving?”

  “I’m fine. Believe me. I’ve got my mom and my brother on speed dial if I need them. But I won’t.”

  I sighed and threaded fingers through my hair. “Okay. We are just leaving. We’ll be spending the night in Toronto and flying out at five in the morning. I’ll text when we land. If anything happens, I’ll be on the next flight back. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Keep your feet up. Eat pizza if that’s what you two are craving. I’ll try not to text-harass you the whole time I’m gone.”

  “It’s fine if you do. I understand. Go and try to enjoy yourself. This might be your last chance to get away for a long time.”

  The front door banged closed, and Aven’s shoes on the hardwood floor clipped closer as he walked down the hall toward the bedroom. He poked his head in and smiled, raising his voice. “Hey, Bryn. Take care of our little tyke for us.”

  Bryn giggled in my ear. “Tell him I will.”

  “Thanks… For everything. Call me if you need to.”

  “I will.”

  I tugged fingers through my hair again, officially destroying all my earlier efforts to make it stick down. Pinching my e
yes closed, I said, “Bye, hun.”

  Aven was in front of me when I hung up and opened my eyes. He tsked and shook his head as he smiled and fussed with my hair. “I can dress you up, but I can’t take you out. Every time. You ready to hit the road?”

  “Yeah. I’m just gonna make Bryn a massage appointment, and we can go.”

  Aven bent and kissed my forehead. “You’re a good man. I love you, Owl. Meet you outside.”

  I smiled at his back as he walked away. The man I’d made a life with. The man I was having a baby with. Through all our ups and downs, Aven stayed by my side. Damn, I loved him.

  I placed a quick call to the woman who Aven and I had researched who specialized in massages for pregnant women. She found Bryn an opening for the following day. I sent Bryn the information and dropped my phone back into my pocket.

  Before heading out, I stopped at the door to the nursery and poked my head inside. The fresh paint smell was finally gone, but a scent of newness hung in the air. New furniture, new clothing, new accessories, everything was brand new and top quality. Aven and I didn’t cheap out on a single thing. Not when it came to our baby.

  The crib sat in the corner, solid maple and handcrafted. A jungle-themed sheet set was set up and ready to go, washed in a delicate baby soap so our little one wouldn’t get a rash. A change table, a rocking chair for late night feedings, a bookshelf filled with over fifty board books, a mobile, soft blankets, hooded towels, a baby tub, monitors, diapers by the dozens, cloths, soothers, bibs…

  If they sold it, we owned it.

  Maybe we’d gone overboard, but we didn’t care. This baby would have the world.

  Taking a deep breath, I clicked the door closed and straightened my shoulders. I had to make it through this conference first, then this next stage of my life could begin.

  I grabbed a light jacket, took one last look around the house, and headed out to the car where Aven was fiddling with the radio, looking for a good station.

  “Ready?” he asked when I got in the passenger seat.

  “As I’ll ever be.”

  He leaned over the middle console and kissed me with a smile on his lips. “Love you.”