Severe Side Winds Ahead

by Kendel Duncan

  “I’ll send you the file on the case and the address.”

  Kelly nodded as he stared down at his fingers. “Where’d he go, Morgan?” he whispered.

  “Kelly, he was scared, he panicked. He’s not used to this life.”

  “Where?”

  Morgan rubbed his hand over his mouth, “He’s apparently got a friend who lives in the mountains about thirty minutes from here.”

  Kelly’s eyes snapped up to Morgan’s, “A friend? You mean he ran into the arms of another man, right?”

  Morgan glanced away, “Kelly, I don’t think it was like that, I really don’t.”

  “Bullshit. You think it was exactly like that. I can see it in your eyes. Nurse!” he yelled.

  “Kelly, wait, calm down. I have someone watching him and the last time we spoke there wasn’t anything going on like that.”

  Shouting down the hall drew their attention.

  “I don’t care that you don’t have me on some fucking list, he’s my boyfriend and he fucking needs me! I didn’t walk down a fucking snow-covered mountain on horseback just to get turned away at the door. You will let me in and you’ll do it, RIGHT NOW!”

  Kelly and Morgan looked at each other, “A snow covered mountain? On horseback?”

  The nurse who had been taking care of Kelly poked her head in, “Um, there’s a gentleman, a really dirty gentleman, who’s demanding to see you.”

  Kelly sighed, “Let him in.”

  A few moments later, Cole’s filthy, tear-streaked face looked inside. His tears began flowing as he breathed out, “Kelly,” like he’d been holding it inside for hours.

  Kelly just stared at him. He wanted to reach out to him, to beckon him inside but he couldn’t – not without getting the answers he needed first.

  “Oh god, babe, I’m so sorry. I panicked. I freaked out and I ran. I swear it will never happen again. Tripp and Jackson helped me to realize I was a complete jerk.”

  “Helped you how? By fucking the answer into you?” Kelly snapped.

  Cole’s eyes went wide, “What? No, god no. It was nothing like that. I didn’t even know Jackson. He works for Morgan and followed me there. Tripp is an old friend.”

  Kelly lifted an eyebrow, “Friend?”

  Cole looked down at the floor, “Well, we did hook up once or twice before but that was when his husband was still alive. He doesn’t fuck anyone now that he’s a widower.”

  “But you went there to get laid,” Kelly said, his eyes narrowing.

  “No, yes, I don’t know. I told you, I panicked. I’m so fucking sorry,” Cole whispered and he could already see the rejection in Kelly’s eyes. “I, I’ll just go now. You take care of yourself and get better soon,” he mumbled as he turned to walk away.

  “Cole,” Kelly said to his retreating back and he froze.

  “Turn around.”

  Cole slowly turned until his eyes locked with Kelly’s. “Never again, do you hear me? You will never run away from me and to another man, not for any reason. If you’re scared you come to me, you talk to me, you got that?”

  Cole hiccupped as he choked back a sob and nodded his head, “Yes,” he whispered.

  Kelly held his hand out, “Come here.”

  Cole ran to him, pressing his head into the pillow next to Kelly’s head as he mumbled, “I’m so sorry. I won’t ever do that again, I swear. I love you, Kelly.”

  Kelly turned and pressed a kiss to the side of Cole’s head, “I know and I love you too. But, damn baby, you reek.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry. I had no idea horses were that sweaty. And my ass is killing me.”

  Kelly barked out a laugh, “Not something I want to hear right now, babe.”

  Morgan turned to leave, “I, um, I’ll go see if maybe they have some scrubs somewhere for Cole.”

  “Hey, Morg?” Kelly said just before he stepped out.

  “Yeah?”

  “That op. Can I bring Cole with me?”

  Morgan smiled, “Yeah, that should be okay.”

  “Good, then I’ll take it.”

  Cole’s head popped up, “An op? You’re going to do another op?” he said, his voice betraying his growing panic.

  “Shhh, relax babe. It’s just a protection duty op. We’ll be in a luxury cabin up in the mountains watching over two guys. It’ll be sweet.”

  “Oh. I like the sound of that.”

  Chapter Forty

  After bringing Cole some scrubs and saying his goodbyes, Morgan made his way out to the hospital entrance. He was surprised to see Jackson in the waiting room, slumped in one of the plastic chairs, his head resting on his hand, his eyes closed.

  He made his way over and sat in the chair next to him.

  “Horses, huh? How did that come about?”

  A tired smile lifted the corners of Jackson’s mouth as he said, “It’s a long story. Those two make up?”

  Morgan nodded his head, “Uh-huh. How about I buy you dinner and you tell me all about your adventure.”

  Jackson’s eyes opened and he looked at Morgan, “Morg, I’m so tired I probably won’t be very good company. None of us really slept last night and we left his house the second there was light in the sky.”

  “Yeah, well, indulge me, would ya? Something tells me you need to talk.”

  Jackson looked away, “Morg,” he whispered.

  Morgan bumped their shoulders together, “It’s okay to feel again, Jack. You know he wants this for you.”

  “Yeah but do I want this for me? It’s been so long, Morg. Feeling again….it scares me.”

  “And who’s making you feel again?”

  “Tripp.”

  Morgan’s eyes looked back towards where Cole and Kelly were, “You mean Cole’s friend Tripp? The widower?”

  “He told you about him?”

  “Yeah, a little. Sounds like you two might be kindred spirits.”

  “It’s more than that, though. Yeah, we’ve both suffered devastating losses. But before we knew that about each other there was something there. Something that makes my heart beat harder, makes me think about things I haven’t thought of in a long time, makes me have hope. But it also scares the shit out of me.”

  Morgan grinned at him, “Isn’t it great to fucking feel alive again, Jack?”

  “Fuck off, you sappy fucker.”

  Morgan laughed, “How’re you getting home?”

  “Um, you’re kind of my ride.”

  “I am? How did you get here?”

  “Some flirty, handsy old man named Murray met us at the bottom of Tripp’s hill and drove us here. If I’d known the guy was going to practically grope me the whole way here I probably would’ve just stayed at Tripp’s place.”

  Morgan nodded, “Hmmm, so when are you going back?”

  Jackson looked away, “I don’t know that I am, Morg. We didn’t exactly discuss anything, it was more like we both knew what we were feeling but were afraid to really voice it out loud.”

  “Well, let’s grab some dinner and we’ll eat it at your place while you tell me more about this Tripp fellow,” Morgan said as he stood up.

  Jackson looked up at him, “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  Morgan grinned, “Nope.”

  “Can I quit?” Jackson said as he pushed to his feet to follow the man.

  “Nope.”

  “Didn’t think so.”

  Half an hour later they were both seated at Jackson’s counter. Jackson was freshly showered and wearing nothing but sweats as they dug into Chinese food containers with chopsticks.

  “So, let’s start with the horses, yeah? I thought you’d sworn off them for good after what your family did to you?”

  “So did I, but Gunner, god, he’s so beautiful and sweet. He’s a pinto, brown and white, and completely majestic.”

  “So, he’s got two horses?”

  “Yeah, his is Dakota, a stunning black stallion.”

  “I take it Gunner belonged to his husband?”


  Jackson nodded his head, “Yeah. The horse has been mourning his loss too, withholding affection and stuff like that.”

  “Until you.”

  Jackson’s chopsticks froze in mid-air as he stared at Morgan, “Your perception really pisses me off sometimes. Yeah, until me.”

  “Did you kiss him?”

  “The horse? I nuzzled him but didn’t actually kiss him.”

  Morgan glare at him.

  “No, I didn’t kiss him.”

  “But you wanted to.”

  “Yeah, I did. A couple of times. But I knew I wasn’t ready.”

  “It’s been six years, Jack. How much more ready do you need to be?”

  Jackson pushed up from his chair and walked over to his fridge, “Don’t, Morg. Don’t push me on this. He’s not.” He walked back over to the counter with two bottles of water and handed one to Morgan.

  “I’ll try not to, Jack. But you’ve got to understand that I believe with all of my heart that you deserve this. You deserve to be happy again. It’s okay to be happy again. I want you to be happy again.”

  “I am happy.”

  “No. You’re existing. You work, you go to the gym and occasionally you socialize with us but that’s it. You’re being safe, Jack. You’re living scared. It’s time to grab life by the balls and show it that you’re in charge here. Will you miss him? Always. But being happy doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about him, it just means that you’ve got enough love in your heart for more….and that’s okay.”

  “Is it? Is it okay? Because when I think about doing just that, when Tripp made me think of that….it fucking hurt, Morg.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, because I’m scared okay? I’m fucking terrified. What if I let myself go, what if I fall in love with him and something happens to him? What if he falls off of his horse and breaks his neck? He lives up a mountain with a narrow winding road, what if he falls asleep at the wheel and drives off the cliff? What if I’m cursed? I barely made it through this, I’d never make it I it if I had to go through it again.”

  Morgan stood up and wrapped Jackson in a tight embrace, “Oh, sweetheart. I worry about shit like that happening to Luther all the time. Worrying is fine, it’s healthy. Letting that fear rule your life and make your decisions for you is not. There are no guarantees in life, ever. That’s why you need to grab onto every second of happiness that you can and hold on tight, because it’s so fucking precious. Every moment you have with someone you love is a gift, Jack. Would you trade all the time you had with Bryce if it meant you wouldn’t feel the pain of his death?”

  A few tears slid down Jackson’s cheeks as he shook his head, “No.”

  “Then live, Jack, fall in love, be happy. Grab onto whatever moments you have and fucking own them.”

  “I really hate you sometimes,” Jackson mumbled into Morgan’s shoulder.

  “I know you do, babe. I know you do. Are you going to call him?”

  “Can’t,” Jackson said.

  Morgan stepped back and looked at him, “Why not?”

  “I didn’t get his number. I think I did that on purpose. If he continues to be on my mind constantly until I get to the point where I can’t stay away from him then I’ll be forced to go see him.”

  “So, you’ll leave things open to seeing him again?”

  “I’ll think about it, okay? That’s all I can give you right now.”

  “And that’s all I ask for.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  “How are you feeling?” Justice asked yet again. Garrett sighed as he set down his e-reader, “I’m fine, Justice.”

  “Are you? Because you seem a little irritated with me.”

  Garrett’s eyes looked over at the man standing at his kitchen counter. Was he irritated? Not exactly. Frustrated, yes but not irritated. Frustrated because they’d been in this house together for four weeks. Four weeks during which Justice had coddled him, taken care of him, looked after him, protected him, but he still wouldn’t touch him. Not the way that Garrett wanted Justice to touch him. And it was frustrating the hell out of Garrett.

  Justice had followed the physical therapist’s instructions when the man said that he wouldn’t be able to get to Justice’s remote place more than the one time. He’d helped Garrett work his aching muscles, helped him stretch, massaged his leg and ankle when they were done.

  He’d held him in the middle of the night when Garrett’s nightmares woke him. He’d cleaned him up when those nightmares were so bad that he threw up all over himself and the floor.

  He’d helped bathe him countless times until Garrett was strong enough to stand in the shower and do it himself.

  He’d been absolutely perfect in every way but one.

  He still refused to touch him.

  Not outright refused but constantly chose to ignore Garrett’s signals. Ignored the heat that sparked between them whenever they were close to each other.

  And Garrett wanted Justice to touch him, truly touch him, more than he’d ever wanted that from anyone.

  He was just too afraid to come out and ask him to do it. Because he was terrified the man would run if he did.

  So here Garrett sat, reading again, and with a serious case of blue balls because he was getting sick and tired of taking care of things himself.

  He’d done everything else asked of him – he’d given his statement over Skype to the Feds, several times. He’d called Tiny to let him know he was okay and that he didn’t blame him for what Simon had done to him – it took almost an hour on the phone to convince the man of that but he was fairly certain he had succeeded. What happened to him was bad enough, he didn’t need the guilt of his best friend weighed down on top of that.

  His bruises – the ones on the outside of his body, the ones you could see, not the ones in his head that he still wrestled with – those had faded and gone a while ago. His burns had healed weeks ago. His ribs were healed, his face looked normal again. He still wore the boot but only to walk around, he could take it off and put weight on his foot to shower….or to climb into bed.

  But he ached – he ached with the need for the silent, stubborn man watching him, he needed him to do……something, anything to let him know that what happened to him wasn’t going to define him.

  “I’m fucking fine,” he snapped, feeling bad for doing so the moment the words were on his lips but feeling like there was nothing he could do to stop them.

  Justice’s eyes went wide for a second and then that fucking mask dropped down over his face again. “Well, okay then,” he mumbled and then he walked out the front door, letting the heavy screen slam behind him.

  “Fuck,” Garrett mumbled as he watched Justice through the window as he walked to a chair and sat down.

  With a sigh, Garrett pushed open the screen door, walked across the porch and leaned onto the railing with a sigh. He could feel Justice’s eyes on his back from where he was sitting in the Adirondack chair – he could always feel the man’s eyes on him. That was the problem. He didn’t want just his eyes on him. He wanted more…so much more.

  He turned around and leaned back on the sturdy rail and locked his eyes with the intense, brooding man staring back at him. But before he could say anything, Justice opened his mouth first, “I can’t, butterscotch. I’m broken.”

  “Is that how you see me? After what he did to me, do you look at me and see someone who’s broken?”

  Pain lanced through Justice’s face, “No, God, no. You’re the strongest man I know.”

  “Then why won’t you touch me?” Garrett whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek, “Is it because you don’t want me?”

  “Fuck,” Justice whispered as he flew out of the chair, “I want you more than I want my next breath.”

  He pinned Garrett’s body to the railing with his own, boxing him in with his body heat but still he didn’t kiss him. Instead his nose and lips moved up one side of Garrett’s neck, across his jaw and down the other, barely touching him – m
aking him shiver from his head to his toes. Garrett’s fingers dug into the wood behind him to keep from reaching for the stubborn man even though that was what his body was crying out for him to do.

  “Why won’t you kiss me?” he finally whispered when he couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Because once I start I won’t be able to stop.”

  “Who said I want you to?” Garrett whispered, the stubble on his chin scraping against Justice’s neatly trimmed beard.

  “Garrett, I….”

  “Please, Justice. I need to know what it’s supposed to feel like, what it should’ve felt like.”

  “Oh, fucking hell,” Justice said with a moan as he crashed their lips together.

  Garrett’s hands came up and he gripped onto Justice’s t-shirt – to anchor himself or to keep Justice from turning away, he wasn’t quite sure.

  He moaned into Justice’s mouth and the man growled and pulled him closer.

  Never before, never in his life had he been kissed like this. Every nerve in his body was on fire, his cock was rock hard in his sweats. His balls were drawn up and tingling. He knew that he was just one touch, one rub, hell, one kiss away from going off like a rocket. But he didn’t want that to happen in his pants. No, he wanted it to happen when Justice was inside of him. He wanted that so bad he hurt.

  With a curse, Justice tore his mouth away from Garrett – and Garrett felt the loss like a knife through his heart. He was certain that Justice was backing away again, that he was going to tell Garrett that this was a mistake.

  But he was wrong.

  Justice leaned his forehead against Garrett’s as he panted for breath and said, “Not here. I won’t let this happen out here, fast and dirty and against the porch railing. You’re better than that, you deserve more than that.”

  “What if the idea of that really turns me on, though?”

  Justice’s head snapped back and he looked at Garrett, studying his face to see if he was telling the truth.

  Seemingly satisfied, Justice smirked and said, “We’ll save that for another time. Right now, I’m taking you to bed,” then he threaded their fingers together and pulled him inside, down the hall and into the bedroom.