Highlander's Sinful Desire (Steamy Scottish Historical Romance)

by Maddie MacKenna

  She whispered to him, “I should go now. I have never . . . done this.”

  He held her tenderly. “I dae nae want ye to leave. I want ye with me all the time. I cannae explain how much I feel for ye. I will nae force ye to dae anythin’.”

  She looked at him and threw caution to the wind. She kissed him passionately. She said, “I want you, too. Unlike anything else I have ever felt.”

  He did not need any more coaxing. With the skill of an experienced lover, he gently unlaced her gown and slipped it off her shoulders. It fell onto the stool. Then he lifted her tunic over her head, and she was naked. He lost his breath. “Ye’re the most beautiful lass I have ever seen.”

  He lifted the covers and gently eased her down into his bed beside him. He again kissed her long and deep. He held her tight to his body, wrapping his arms around her back.

  She felt his member stiffen against her thigh. She felt his hands slide down to her hips. He gripped her there as he pressed himself against her. He began pushing himself against her. In moments, she was grinding her groin against his, thinking about how much she wanted to feel him inside of her. She imagined him thrusting himself into her with all of his strength.

  He took her hand and placed it on his groin. . He showed her how to stroke his organ firmly, and then let go of her. He groaned as she stroked him on her own. His hands moved to her breasts and fondled her nipples gently, then simultaneously squeezed and pulled them.

  He positioned his muscular body on top of hers and nuzzled her ear. Then he licked drew his tongue down the side of her neck, across her breasts, and began kissing and sucking her very erect nipples. She moaned. “Taran,” she whispered, her voice full of desire. She thought she would explode.

  He moved his hips, poised to enter her. Softly, he asked, “Are ye ready, Rowena?”

  She could barely find her voice. “Y-y-yes,” she moaned again. She held her breath as she felt him push into her, gently. He seemed to grow even harder when he felt her wetness. He pulled out a little, then went back in a little deeper. He did the same again, going a little deeper each time. She wanted him to go as deep as he could go. He said, “This next time might hurt, and I dae nae wish to hurt ye.”

  She had heard that when a woman loses her virginity it can hurt, but the pain is momentary. She said, “I’m all right.”

  He plunged into her powerfully, going as deep as he could go. Rowena felt an immediate stabbing pain, but it was nothing compared to the usual sort of pain everyone has now and then. This pain was a pleasurable pain. It was an indescribably delicious pain. She moaned with pleasure. She pulled his hips into hers and began to move with him.

  Rowena relished the feeling of fullness each time he thrust deep within her. The friction of him inside her as he slid up and down made her frenzied with excitement. Just when she was sure she would explode, he paused. He moved his hands to her genitals and started to massage her with his fingertips. His fingers moved in a rhythm on her while he kept moving gently inside her.

  She felt her body begin to stiffen as if every muscle in her body were being stretched by ropes. She opened her mouth and began to moan, then louder as she reached the peak of excitement. Suddenly, her muscles began to spasm softly, then the spasms came in waves and expanded out, like ripples in the water. The feeling became a powerful throb that started in her groin and moved up through her belly and into her heart and chest.

  Holding her tightly, Taran moved and turned them both on their sides. He moved his hips and began to increase the speed of his thrusting. Rowena wrapped her legs around his waist as Taran’s thrusts were as deep as her body would let him go.

  He rose to his knees and pulled her legs around his waist tightly. He grabbed her hips and began pushing into her with all of his strength. He began to moan as his own pleasure neared climax. Then the waves came, and Rowena could feel him pulsing inside of her.

  Afterward, they lay together in the stillness of the night, both spent, both catching their breath. He pulled her close and covered her with soft kisses, whispering, “Rowena . . . Rowena . . .”

  At that moment, Rowena believed she had fallen in love with Taran. She was tired but could not sleep. She had enjoyed every moment of their lovemaking, but now her virginity was lost. Lost forever. Though her feelings for Taran were deep and strong, she had betrayed someone else. She had betrayed the vows she had made to God.

  Taran had fallen asleep beside her. Quietly, she rose, pulled her clothes on and slipped out of his room.

  26

  Earl Strongbow and his men left the inn at Carneluke at dawn. They had effectively taken over the Sean Donaldson’s inn after beating him up to get the information they wanted about Rowena. Sean’s other guests had left at the first signs of trouble from the loathsome English knights, leaving Sean with plenty of vacant rooms. The knights made themselves at home.

  Sean’s wife and a servant cooked for the men and served food and ale to them, while silently praying that they would leave and leave soon. But Earl Strongbow said their horses needed to rest and they would be fresh to ride out in the morning.

  They rode back to MacEwen’s on the same road. They continued to ask about Rowena and Taran, and again were met with many blank looks. No, they did not know Taran. No, they had not seen a nun travelling with two Highlanders. No one knew anything at all, it seemed.

  Sir Percy mumbled, “What’s the use . . .” Earl Strongbow said nothing in response. They were about half way back to MacEwen’s and he was about to give up. He had grown tired of asking the same questions over and over and seeing blank expressions and hearing the same dull responses. “No, have nae seen anythin’.”

  Now he saw two men approaching on foot from the other direction. Both were wearing well-fitted leather tunics and one had a bow and a quiver of arrows slung over his shoulder. As they got closer, Earl Strongbow saw their tunics, each had a bright blue shield decorated with three golden fleurs-de-lis emblazoned on the breast. Out of the corner of his mouth, Sir Percy said softly to Earl Strongbow, “Looks like French soldiers!”

  Earl Strongbow said, “Yes, I’m told they’re fighting with the Scots here in the border lands. The Franks are only too happy for any excuse to fight us. Hah!”

  The French soldiers stopped moving and the one readied his bow. Earl Strongbow called out to them, “Bon après-midi, monsieurs! Por favor, monsieurs, no need for weapons. We are not here to fight. We are here on a private mission. May we speak as . . . colleagues?”

  The Frenchmen relaxed a little bit. One said something to the bowman, and he lowered his bow. Then he asked gruffly, “Qu’avez-vous fait? What do you want?”

  Earl Strongbow said, “Merci, monsieur. We are searching for an English nun. A beautiful young lady, not what you would expect for a nun. She may be travelling alone, or in the company of two Highlanders.”

  One of the Frenchmen raised his eyebrows and tilted his head, but said nothing. He knows something, Earl Strongbow thought. He embellished his story a little in hopes it would loosen his tongue. “Her life may be in danger,” he said. “We must find her.” Well, it’s really not a complete lie.

  The Frenchman nodded. “D’accord. Oui, monsieur knight. I have spoken with her. Three, maybe four days ago, here in Carneluke. She was looking for the inn. She said she was a nun from St. Martha’s. I was worried for her safety . . . such a belle dame. I escorted her to the inn and we bid adieu.”

  Earl Strongbow was glad to hear that. At least his story corroborates with what Sean Donaldson told us. It was hard for the earl’s men to know if they could believe Sean; the way they had roughed him up he would have said anything to get them to stop.

  “I see. Was she with anyone?”

  “Non, monsieur,” the Frenchman said. “She was alone.”

  “Did she tell you where she was going?”

  Again, the Frenchman said, “Non, monsieur knight.”

  Earl Strongbow said, “Merci. You have been most helpful. No one else has been willing
to talk to us.”

  The Frenchmen both laughed at Earl Strongbow’s statement. “Oui, oui, monsieur knight. These people fear you Anglais. Non . . . pardon moi. They do not fear you. They despise you. You are too arrogant to understand that. Bon chance.” The Frenchmen walked on, laughing bitterly and sharing their disdain for the English.

  His honor deeply insulted, Sir Percy shouted after them, “You Frankish rats!” The Frenchmen glanced back and made an obscene gesture, then laughed heartily.

  Sir Percy’s hand went for his sword, but Earl Strongbow seized him before he could draw it. “No, Sir Percy. Let it go. If you start a fight now, we’ll have the French and the Scottish armies looking for us, and we’ve no time to get involved in all that. We will stay focused on our mission. Our only mission. Which is to find Lady Rowena and bring her home. Understand?”

  Sir Percy bowed his head. “Yes, my Lord.”

  “We’ve found her trail again, and we know she is not far away. The next move for us is to return to MacEwen’s and await the rest of my men to return. Once we have regrouped, we will be better equipped to fight if necessary.”

  Sir Percy said again, “Yes, my Lord.”

  * * *

  When they reached MacEwen’s place that evening, they found some of Earl Strongbow’s knights had already returned. They had spent most of the last two days visiting churches and talking to all of the clergy they could find. No one admitted to knowing anything about Rowena.

  “I’m not surprised,” Earl Strongbow said. He informed the men about the information he had learned from Sean Donaldson and confirmed with the French soldiers.

  They all sat down for a late supper in MacEwen’s hall just as it was getting dark outside. Earl Strongbow asked MacEwen if he knew anything about Taran of the clan Robertson and the castle at Frenich.

  MacEwen’s response surprised the earl. “Aye, of course, everyone does. Taran is one of the richest Lairds in the Highlands. His clan is some of the biggest wool producers and exporters in the kingdom. Everyone loves him. A very generous man, he is.”

  Earl Strongbow said, “Hah! You say everyone knows him? That’s quite amusing. We found no one who would admit that to us!”

  MacEwen shrugged. “Ye’re English. What’d ye expect?”

  Earl Strongbow gave MacEwen a tight lipped smile, and then raised his mug of ale as if in a toast. “Touché, MacEwen. Touché.” Earl Strongbow took a swig, and rubbed the wound on his thigh. His thigh was feeling a little sore. Probably from spending too much time in the saddle these last several days.

  A thought occurred to him. “MacEwen,” he said, “We could use some fresh horses. Do you have any available?”

  “Aye,” MacEwen said, eager to help the rich English knights. “That is, I have a few of me own, and I can get ye a few more on the morrow.”

  “Splendid. We will likely be here for two or three more days. We’ll need eighteen. Do whatever it takes to get them.” Earl Strongbow tossed MacEwen a penny, then rubbed his thigh again.

  27

  Rowena spent most of the day in her chambers. She prayed, asking God’s forgiveness for betraying him. For committing sin with a man who was betrothed to another woman. Rowena had never felt so much remorse. She thought she needed to confess her sins to a priest. Funny, I have been so preoccupied with earthly matters I have not made an effort to meet the chapel priest.

  She came out just before noon to snatch a bite of food and tend to any children who had come around wanting a lesson or a story. Even then, she peered around the corners to make sure Taran was not there. She could not bear to face him.

  She saw Auntie Lili coming toward her, beaming, but Rowena had no way to avoid her. Rowena put on a light hearted smile. “Good day, Auntie Lili,” she chirped. The cheerfulness she put on felt very false, but she needed to put on the same happy demeanor that she did every day. Rowena felt in no condition to respond to an inquiry from Auntie Lili about how she was feeling. She started to Auntie Lili about locating the priest.

  But Auntie Lili was unusually bubbly and gave Rowena a big hug before Rowena could bring up the question. “Tis’ a wonderful day, Sister Rowena! Taran is feelin’ much better! He’s eatin’ and talkin’, but still a little weak. I dae nae ken what ye did but it worked! Have ye looked in on him yet today?”

  That caught Rowena off guard, though she should have expected Auntie Lili would have checked in on him at least once this morning. Rowena was not going to tell her that she had been with him most of the night. She dodged Aunt Lili’s question. “Yes, he is! Isn’t it wonderful! I’ll check with him again after I finish with the children. I will see you at supper, I hope!”

  She slipped away from Auntie Lili as fast as she could. That felt terribly awkward! Rowena was not accustomed to so much deceit, and yet, this last week felt as if she had plunged into a world filled with sin and deceit.

  After she finished her session tutoring the children, she went through the great hall and turned into the passageway to go straight back to her chamber. As she rounded the corner, she nearly collided headlong with none other than Lady Dierdre. Rowena came to a dead stop. She stammered, “Oh! Lady Dierdre! Um . . . Forgive me. I was not watching where I was going.” Rowena tried to look Lady Dierdre in the eye but could not do it. She put a hand on her stomach and pretended to feel sick. Another deception? No, I suddenly do feel as if I’m going to vomit, she thought to herself wryly.

  Lady Dierdre raised an eyebrow and looked at Rowena with the most condescending expression Rowena had ever seen. Lady Dierdre hissed, “Ye ought to watch where yer goin’, Sister Rowena.”

  Rowena kept her head down. “I’m sorry, Lady Dierdre. I’m so sorry. I’m not feeling well. Please excuse me.” Rowena brushed past Lady Dierdre before she could respond. She was the last person on earth that Rowena wanted to talk to right now.

  Rowena got to her chamber and closed the door. At some point, she felt she should check on Taran, but that could wait. She did not want to go into his room. She did not even want to see him right now. She got on her knees beside her bed and rested against it. She began to sob. The foolishness of her decision to run and all that had followed had finally overwhelmed her.

  She thought about last night with deep remorse. Though she could not deny feeling a strange and intense affection for Taran, she should not have succumbed to temptation last night. Yet she could not stop herself. She had violated her commitment to purity and honor to God and could never go back. What would happen now? She began to pray.

  O Jesus! Through your bitter Passion and through the outpouring of thy Precious Blood, I beg of thee, O Sweet Jesus, to pierce my heart, so that my tears of Penitence and love may be my bread night and day. May I be converted entirely to thee, may my heart be thy perpetual resting place, may my conversation be pleasing to thee, and may the end of my life be so praiseworthy that I may merit Heaven and there, with thy saints, praise thee forever.

  Rowena stayed in prayer for a long time. She was so lost in her praying that she did not hear a soft knocking on her door. A voice then called her name softly. “Sister Rowena. Sister Rowena, are ye there?” It was Taran. She kept perfectly still and did not answer him. He knocked again. “Sister?” She said quietly, “Taran, go away. I do not wish to see you.”

  He pleaded. “Please, open the door, I need to talk to ye.”

  “No.” She held her breath.

  He said, “I want ye to ken . . . last night . . . was . . . magical. Ye done somethin’ to me. Tis’ good.”

  “I’m glad you’re feeling better,” she said. “Now please, go away.”

  Rowena heard him get quiet. After a few moments, she heard his footsteps move away. Only a few moments later, she heard another knock on the door. “Please, I do not want to see you. Go away!”

  A chambermaid’s voice sounded through the door. “Me lady! I bring fresh water for ye, and fire wood for yer fire.”

  Embarrassed, Rowena opened the door and let the servants in. She scanned the p
assageway for any sign of Taran. Thankfully, he was not there.

  The chambermaid chattered constantly as she worked. “Ye need to keep the fire goin’ tonight, me lady. Tis’ already a cold one!” Rowena had not even noticed, but now that the maid mentioned it, the air did feel chilly. In fact, she was cold. Rowena pulled a blanket around her shoulders. The chambermaid set out a clean basin and filled it with fresh water while the valets placed wood in the fireplace and got a fire started.

  Another servant came in carrying a tray with a soup bowl and a loaf of bread. “What is this?” Rowena asked.

  The chambermaid said, “Ye have nae eaten tonight, me lady. We’ve brung ye some bread and some potage. Ye need somethin’ to keep ye warm. Ye dae nae want to take ill. Tis easy to get sick when the weather gets cold and ye dae nae get enough sustenance.”

  Rowena was not hungry, but she appreciated the servants’ kindness. “Bless you, dear one. You are very thoughtful.”