Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  I stifled a cry when my back slammed into the metal lockers. Since I only used one shoulder strap, my backpack did little to buffer the blow. Agony skittered along my spine before radiating throughout my back, and I released my breath once I adjusted to this new level of pain. “I’m sure I told you where you belong, street rat,” Kyler murmured with a sadistic smirk twisting his lips. It turned into a grim scowl when I scoffed under my breath.

  “That I speak softly, avoid eye contact, and do my best to not hurt others does not mean I am a doormat,” I warned. “I won’t hit you, nor will I try to hurt your feelings, but that doesn’t mean you say jump, and I do.”

  Every student in the hallway stopped. I felt their eyes and swallowed nervously. It wasn’t bravado. Only I controlled my actions, and I’d be damned if I rolled over and played dead for a boy who didn’t understand the power he wielded. Not when my shadows would eat him alive. So, he could bring on his worst, I’d survive it. With what they put me through, there was very little I couldn’t adapt to overcome. Sure, it would hurt, but what’s a little pain?

  New School, New Devil

  At first, Kyler was stunned, then his eyes darkened before his fingers wrapped around my throat. Where our skin touched, mine was warm and tingly. What the hell is with this boy and me? Once he was sure I wouldn’t move, he smirked and drove his fist into my abdomen. A hoarse cry left my lips while my nerves screamed their agony. After several painful seconds, I drew air into my lungs, and Kyler chuckled before hitting me even harder in the same spot.

  This time, tears escaped my eyes, and he released me to allow my knees to hit the ground. Hard. Between my agonized abdomen and my easily pained back, the pain was so terrible I couldn’t see, let alone breathe. Kyler laughed cruelly, and the students in the hall joined him in voicing their amusement.

  “Next time I say jump, I suggest you do,” Kyler hissed in my ear. Once he left, I wiped away my tears, stood, and stiffly navigated the halls. My back was most displeased, so the less I moved, the better until my muscles relaxed. God, what I wouldn’t do for one of those massage showerheads, baths, or wands. Even a chair would be a miracle. I was supposed to go to physical therapy and have a chiropractor, but they required me to stay in one place. And required alerting my insurance. While I don’t mind using it in an emergency, it’s one of the few things I couldn’t hack to erase myself from fast enough. So, if I used it, they’d find me.

  As far as the government was concerned, I existed but didn’t. So long as I paid my bills, they didn’t care enough to investigate. I preferred it that way. It kept me out of a foster home but gave me insurance for my hospital bills. And, for my little brother, if he had an emergency. However, they didn’t charge my insurance. They knew I had it and billed me for the reduced rate as if they did. They understood what would happen if his location became disclosed.

  Upon walking into math, I flinched from the stony stares of my classmates, although I beat the tardy bell this time. Mrs. Young sent me to sit in a desk beside a sable haired boy with bright blue eyes. Her eyes were worried when I chanced a glance, and I shrugged with a slight smile only to hiss silently.

  After sitting, the teenaged boy turned toward me, tilting his head to the side when I dropped my gaze. “Zach,” he greeted with a friendly smile. I risked another glance, discovering that his face was beautiful. Elfin was the word that came to mind, and my fingers itched to sketch him. His hair adorably looked like he just got out of bed. My mind likened him to a puppy, and a slight smile curled my lips.

  “Angel,” I replied in a soft voice. His blindingly bright smile revealed perfect teeth, and I looked down with my cheeks heating. “Um, not to sound like a creeper, but would you mind if I sketched you someday?” I cursed myself as soon as the words left my lips, but it was too late to retract them.

  “Sketch?” Zach echoed, his head tilting to the other side, and my lips twitched. “You’re an artist? And you want to draw me? Wow. Should I be flattered, or do you ask everyone?” His words weren’t cruel, merely curious, but I still flinched.

  “You’re the first person I’ve asked,” I replied honestly. And the first person my age who didn’t sneer or scoff the instant we met. I didn’t dare glance at his face, but I sensed the pleasure radiating from him.

  “Well to encourage you to continue your craft, I suppose I must say yes,” he breathed, and I flinched again. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend…?”

  “No, I just, I’m sorry,” I mumbled before shaking my head. “Um, you decide when and where since you’re the model. But if you don’t want to, I understand.” My cheeks were burning, while my heart fluttered hoping I found a friend. I scolded the traitorous organ while images of ambushes filled my head.

  “How about your place this weekend?” Zach offered with an easy smile, and I sighed.

  “Sure, but if on Saturday, it must be the evening, but the morning on Sunday,” I replied after a moment. His brow furrowed, and I added, “I have to work.”

  “You work?” Zach gasped, and I sank in my seat when several sets of eyes looked my way. “I’m jealous, I have to live with an allowance.” No, Zach, I’m jealous. I wish that were my worst worry.

  With a shrug, I stared at my desk, sensing the sneers aimed my way. Figures I’d find a town full of rich kids, or at least they’re well off. I doubt many of the students work. Thankfully, Mrs. Young beginning our lesson kept me from having to respond. Once again, this school seemed to be behind the one I left, and I frowned. Are these kids soft? Do they take longer to learn? I mean, I understand they’re sheep, but do the teachers slow the curriculum to ease them into learning? What the hell? My last school would eat this one alive intellectually. I suppose they make up for their lack of brains with extra brawn. Goody.

  The bell rang after Mrs. Young gave us our homework assignment, and I sighed while heading towards my next class. “So, where are you off to, Angel?” Zach asked cheerfully, and I eyed him with another sigh.

  “Honors English,” I replied, and he grinned. I guess I have that class with him too. “Are you sure you want me to sketch you?” My voice was so soft it would surprise me if he heard me, and I hoped he didn’t.

  “Yup,” Zach replied with a blindingly bright grin. “I’m honored. And, besides, I want to hang out with you, Angel. You seem like a wonderful person.”

  “I’m not,” I sighed. Instead of arguing or questioning my statement, he chuckled with an indulgent smile. Does everybody I meet know Marcus? They share his ability to annoy by acting like they understand me better than I do.

  In English, I approached the teacher, who cheerfully introduced herself as Miss Kida, and asked me to wait a moment. Today was the day she wanted to change the seating chart. I sighed, staring at my feet until my skin crawled, and I glanced from underneath my lashes to find Kyler glaring with his two friends from the gas station. Although they weren’t glaring at me. No, they eyed Kyler with grim frowns.

  Miss Kida began assigning seats, and she started at the back of the rows of desks. I gulped when Kyler ended up in the last desk of a row, with me in front of him. The smirk on his lips before I sat warned I’m in for a genuine treat. Zach sat in the next row, the second desk from the back, so we were across from each other. Whereas Kyler’s friends ended up to my right, and in front of me. Between the four males, I felt caged in and took a moment to quell the panic building in my chest. This wasn’t like the accident. It wasn’t deliberate. Still, several seconds passed before my heart slowed.

  As soon as Miss Kida began teaching, I had to stifle my whimper of pain when Kyler poked me hard in the back. My spine radiated pain, while my sensitized nerves screamed theirs, which spread across my back like fire. Licking the nerves that should not even realize anything happened. Zach frowned when he saw my grimace of pain, his shadow indicating his head turned towards Kyler. A kick to the leg of my chair caused the back to whack into me, and tears of pain filled my eyes. While gritting my teeth, I curled my right hand into a fist while taki
ng notes with my left. The breath trapped in my lungs escaping as a soft hiss.

  When my eyes met Zach’s, concern and anger darkened them. I sensed movement and saw his fingers clench into a fist so tight they turned white. Frowning with worry, I met his gaze, and his expression softened into a gentle smile. The boy in front of me turned around, and I gulped, but he only offered me a smile before glaring over my shoulder. I knew from the way my skin itched that the boy on my right stared at me too, but I didn’t dare look at him. Upon eyeing his shadow, it surprised me to note that he turned his head towards Kyler too.

  A soft growl from behind me had all three boys returning their gazes to the front of the room, with Zach clenching his hand into a fist once more. After Miss Kida dismissed us a few minutes early, I began navigating the hall only to stop when Zach angrily addressed Kyler. My feet faltered, and I looked over my shoulder to see the almighty jock clench his fists.

  Without thinking, my feet ate the distance between us, and I grabbed Kyler’s fist when it was mere inches from Zach’s face. After switching my grip, I pressed down on the pressure point in his wrist, hearing his gasp of pain, and twisted his arm behind his back without loosening my grip. “Do not pick on others, Kyler,” my voice was soft but firm. Zach backed away, shock shining in his eyes, and I shrugged before dropping mine. I released Kyler once Zach was out of the line of fire, and he turned around with a murderous expression.

  “You little bitch,” Kyler snarled, his hand flashed. I could have caught his fist, but why bother? The sooner I let him hit me, the sooner he’d get over himself. Pain exploded across my face while my nose crunched. Thick blood leaked down my face to drip from my chin, and I shuddered, albeit I didn’t cry out. This wasn’t the first time someone broke my nose, and I doubted it would be the last. Zach pulled my shoulder, and I swallowed my cry of pain from my back screaming its protest, but I still caught the fist aimed at the boy standing behind me. Kyler’s scoff reached my ears after the gasps of the students in the hall quieted.

  “As you so fondly call me, I am a street rat, Kyler. I know how to fight and defend. I don’t bother protecting myself because there isn’t a point. Your anger will build, and you’ll catch me unawares, and it’ll be worse for me. This isn’t my first rodeo. But I’ll be damned if I stand by and let you hurt someone else. I am not an enabler, nor do I side with the aggressor by allowing them to behave as they desire. I’m not a coward. Nor do I place my value above another’s. Everyone here has people to love them, which puts me below them in my eyes. So, yes, if you attack someone who has done nothing to you, I will stop you,” my voice was calm, with no accusation coloring my tone. Kyler seemed to swell with fury, and I sighed, although I released his hand from mine even though my skin cried at the loss of the comforting, tingly warmth.

  “You will respect me, street rat, or I will beat it into your thick skull,” Kyler snarled, and I scoffed.

  “I will respect you when you are worthy of my respect and not a moment sooner,” I warned with my voice carrying a slight tinge of anger.

  “Do you have any idea who I am?” Kyler demanded, and I laughed wryly.

  “I know exactly who you are,” I replied mildly while my eyes remained locked on the floor. “You’re a boy who let his fifteen minutes of fame go to his head. You have quite the kingdom here, but once you leave it, the cruel reality of the world will strip you of your crown. The odds are not in your favor, so you’ll end up as a washout struggling to make ends meet.” Drinking away every excess penny. “So, no, I owe no respect to you. I wish you, and those like you, wouldn’t set yourselves up for the crushing disappointment, but you do. In the real world, you earn respect. Hate me for being your dose of reality, it’s nothing new, and I don’t hold it against you.”

  Kyler’s face was slack with shock, although his eyes darkened to burnished gold. When our gaze met, he clenched his jaw, and while I saw his fist coming towards my eye at a stoppable speed, I accepted the blow. Pain is my constant companion, and I understand his anger. I’m the outcast, I don’t belong, and I was messing up his ordered world. I’d be angry too. Since this alleviated those feelings, I accepted his fury as my due while hoping I helped him in some small way. Or spared someone else.

  I knew from the solidity of the blow that I would have one hell of a shiner and sighed. Ah well. There goes those modeling offers and winning that beauty pageant. Zach stared at me, his jaw dropped with an expression of horror, and I sighed while returning my gaze to my feet. Kyler growled, then stepped around me with his angry footfalls echoing down the hall. Once he left, I adjusted my backpack, smiled at Zach, and weaved through the still shocked students to make my way to choir. By the time I reached the end of the hall, hostility filled the surrounding air, making it hard to breathe.

  Mr. Thatch gasped when I walked into his classroom, tilting my head so he could peer at my face. Tutting, he sent me to the bathroom to clean myself up and asked if I wished to visit the nurse when I returned. Shaking my head, I took a seat next to a platinum blonde whose posture, clothes, and neatness screamed cheerleader. I swallowed when her gaze fell upon me and risked a glance only to find friendly eyes watching me with a concerned frown twisting her lips. I dropped my gaze, steeled myself for the expression I expected, and raised my eyes once more.

  A tender smile and eyes soft with understanding were what I found instead. My lip trembled, and she softened even more. “Hi, Angel,” she greeted in a lilting voice full of warmth. “My name is Claire, and I heard you singing this morning. If it wouldn’t have been sacrilegious, I would have added my voice to yours. Well, I was also lost in heavenly bliss listening to you.” My cheeks burned, and I stared at the ground with tense shoulders while waiting for the cruel laughter to begin. I never met a cheerleader that didn’t loathe me on sight.

  When Claire seemed content to wait for my reaction, I cleared my throat and near soundlessly asked, “Aren’t you a cheerleader?” Perceiving the shifting of the light out of the corner of my eye when she nodded, I swallowed audibly. “Why?”

  “Oh, Angel,” Claire sighed, sounding sad, and I raised my eyes to hers in alarm. A soft sigh had her shoulders slumping before she shook her head. “Most of my peers will be cruel, but I refuse. You understand the game, I see that in your eyes. However, our town is unique in a way that I cannot explain. I’m sure Marcus will once you’re ready.” My brow furrowed while I considered her words with a slight frown. “You’re safe here, from most people. It’s not my place to tell you why, but if I could, I would.” I met her gaze again to nod my understanding. I wouldn’t get her in trouble by asking, nor would I make her uncomfortable by getting upset.

  The tardy bell rang, and I flinched, only to hiss out a pained breath when my back protested the movement. Claire frowned when I chanced a glance, and I belatedly realized she growled under her breath. “Kyler broke two of our unwritten laws,” she informed me in a voice full of sorrow and fury. “The first is sacred, yet he spits on it as if it were of no importance. There will be consequences to his actions, although that pains you.” Startled, I met her gaze, and her eyes softened with a slight smile curling her lips. “It’s okay, Angel, no one blames you, and we understand. But the second unwritten law he broke is so hallowed I can’t explain it with words. As the day wears on, any aware of these rules who meet you will not harm you, I promise. And, given a choice between you or Kyler, they will choose you, Angel. Kyler will still have his followers, those who wish to share his bed, or hope to bask in his popularity, but there will be many who defect in his eyes. He is the one who reneged, the fool.”

  My brow furrowed again while I tried to solve this puzzle with only a handful of pieces. My head ached, and I distantly heard the bell signaling the beginning of class but became distracted when the boy behind me asked what period I had gym. “I don’t,” I admitted with a wry smile. His green eyes shone with confusion, and I laughed without humor. “Until a teacher can promise I won’t experience any tumbles, blows, or movements that
risk my back, I’m excluded.” My cheeks heated when I noticed everyone watched me, and I ducked my head with a soft noise of distress.

  “Why?” The boy asked, moving to kneel beside my chair. He looked at me but didn’t seek my gaze, which allowed my shoulders to relax with a soft sigh leaving my lips.

  Swallowing, I murmured, “you don’t want to hear the whole sordid affair.”

  “Actually, we do,” Mr. Thatch corrected, and I gasped. What? Why? No one has ever cared. Hell, I’d never been in a room with this many people who didn’t snarl or throw insults my way. Between Claire, Zach, and the boy beside me, this was more positive attention than I had received in my life.

  “I was in an accident,” I admitted in a voice thickened by grief, “when I was ten.” Several soft noises of sympathy reached my ears, and shock filled me once more. The eleven students in the room had expressions full of sorrow when I risked a glance, and tears burned my eyes. They cared, they honestly cared, and I didn’t know how to react. I wasn’t used to anything other than apathy or hostility. It was nice. But what happened when they changed their minds? When they decided I wasn’t worthy of their care? God, it would hurt. But I’d survive. What would be worse is if they didn’t change their minds. How could I leave people who cared? Already my chest ached at the thought of leaving Marcus. How did he get under my skin so fast?

  “I’m so sorry,” Claire whispered, and my lip trembled while I debated on how much to tell these strangers I knew nothing about. What if they were pretending so they could use my words against me later? No. That’s wrong. They’re sincere, I feel it in my soul.

  “I-I, do you want the entire story?” I asked in a whisper before flinching and glancing at Mr. Thatch, who has a sorrowful frown twisting his lips.