Bouquet of Regret (Angel's Shifters Book 1)

by Lenai McGoveran

  Curiosity burned in my veins, and I was tempted to pull the glove off to look at it, but I refrained. The last thing I needed was Kyler demanding why I had a tattoo on my palm. Mentally rolling my eyes, I stiffened when the hotshot’s hand moved towards mine, my breath catching in my throat while I waited to see what he would do. Flinching when the bell shattered the silence, I burst into action. My notebook was in my backpack within seconds, albeit Arctic took it from my hand before I could throw it over my shoulder. He seemed to understand my need to escape because he didn’t insist on pulling out my chair.

  We were in the hall within seconds, Arc’s arm around my shoulders again while he hummed. Kyler called my name, and I almost stumbled since I didn’t think he knew it. However, I continued down the hall towards calculus. Still, everyone watched while Arctic and I passed, which made me cringe. I have never been comfortable as the center of attention.

  I barely made it into my next class when I was ambushed. Chuckling, I returned Zach’s hug with fervor, my arms tightening when his dark jumble of emotions were replaced by calm happiness that warmed my heart. Mrs. Young welcomed me back to class, telling me I could make up the test I missed when I was ready, and I nodded. I could pass it today, but I’d look over the rest of the chapter first. I didn’t want to seem cocky or make anyone think I believed I was great. No, I didn’t want to step on any more toes.

  Smiling, I accepted the study packet she gave me and took my seat with Arctic grinning because I remembered to let him push my chair in. We had an extra chair in this class, so Arctic hummed while sitting between Zach and I. Once we were done taking notes and had a few minutes to work on our homework, I was surprised to discover Zach and Arc in an in-depth discussion about who knows what. So far, everyone else avoided Arctic, but I wasn’t surprised Zach was the one to throw that out. After all, he was the first person who spoke to me too. I must have made a noise or projected my emotions because they stopped talking to glance at me. Arc quirked his brow while Zach tilted his head to the side like a curious puppy.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled, my cheeks heating, “I’m just happy to see my first friend getting along with Arctic.” I kept my eyes low, not knowing how Zach would react, albeit I wasn’t surprised when Arc laughed under his breath.

  “He’s all right,” Arctic commented with amusement filling his voice, “for a dog.”

  “You’re just jealous because I have beautiful fur,” Zach scoffed.

  “And fleas,” Arctic added cheerfully, and I fought a smile. Once Zach playfully scowled, however, I laughed. The bell rang before Zach came up with a retort, which was a shame. I had a feeling it would have been epic. Still. Zach grinned while I put my stuff away, his smile becoming pleased when Arc took my backpack. Geez. I can carry it, they realize that, right? I understood in Arctic’s eyes it was the gentlemanly thing to do, so I inwardly sighed instead of trying to take it back.

  Char waited outside Honors English for us, grinning when he saw Arctic’s arm slung over my shoulders. Dakota joined him before we entered the classroom, and I was startled when he pulled me into a tight hug with a mock glare for Arctic. “Hogging my cousin, are we?” Dakota accused with a laugh.

  Sighing, I rolled my eyes and muttered, “look, Kota, just because-”

  I never got the chance to finish what I intended to say. Dakota hugged me so tight that if Ryker hadn’t healed my spine, I would have squirmed to get away due to the intense pain. My breath escaped my lips as a gasp, and I stood silent while trying to understand why I was mauled by my cousin.

  Ghostly laughter filled my ears, and a soft voice explained, “that’s what I often called him. Especially if he needed a good scolding.” Ah, so I reminded him of Jaxy even more than I already did. Poor Dakota. Although his emotions weren’t sad. What he felt was relief. After a moment, I returned Dakota’s hug with just as much strength, and he sighed in my ear. Tears burned my eyes while I wondered how long he suffered in silence. Dakota struck me as someone who swallowed their misery, smiling and lying to say he was all right while he fell apart behind his mask. Jax always saw through it since he perceived his emotions. Thus, Dakota wasn’t left to wallow in his pain in the dark.

  “I’m sorry that you’ve suffered so,” I whispered past the painful lump in my throat. “I won’t let you banish yourself back to the dark, I promise.” A nearly soundless sob told me I was right. Dakota needed Jaxy far more than anyone realized. He informed me that Jax behaved like he was his older brother before he died, so I could only imagine how lost he felt once Jaxy died. What I found amusing was Dakota remembered my spine because he sprang away as if I burned him. “Ryker fixed it,” I told him with a shrug and a laugh. “It hurt like a bitch, but it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

  Dakota’s relief was so intense I tasted it on my tongue and rolled my eyes while indicating the class we loitered beside. Arctic nodded to Miss Kida, who apologized about the lack of a chair for him, but he shrugged and leaned against the wall once I took my seat. I knew the instant Kyler walked into the classroom because Dakota, Zach, and Char stiffened with animosity pouring off them, while amusement rolled off Arctic in waves. The rest of the class tensed while he walked past the row of desks to take his seat behind me.

  Without realizing it, I tensed, waiting for him to kick my chair like he always did. My shoulders ached because they were so tight, but I couldn’t help it. A soft sigh reached my ears a few minutes into class, and I somehow tensed even more. What is he plotting? Char, I noticed, was tense as well. I imagined he was ready to spring to his feet and switch desks with me again. Zach’s fingers were clenched into a tight fist while he watched me from the corner of his eye. Dakota, however, when I risked a glance at him, didn’t even try to hide his fury. No, he glared at Kyler with such hatred in his eyes that I nearly gasped.

  When my shoulders shook because I kept them so tense for far too long, Arctic was beside me. The shifter grinned with a shake of his head before he knelt beside my desk. When I relaxed while leaning towards him to ask what he was doing, the sneaky bastard stole a quick kiss. My cheeks burned while I fell back into my chair out of surprise. Laughing under his breath, Arctic switched to sitting on the floor beside me, humming with happiness much to my annoyance.

  While I read what Miss Kida assigned, a poke to my back startled me, and I jerked in my chair to warily glance at Kyler. He held his hands up, and my eyes narrowed on their own. What the hell does he want? I returned to my reading, even though Kyler looked like he wanted to say something. I didn’t want to hear his poisonous words.

  Once the bell rang, I burst out of the classroom, Arctic laughing while he kept pace. He took my backpack to sling over his shoulder while he pulled me into his side to throw his arm around my neck. “This is even more fun than I thought it would be,” he confessed with a wink, and I raised my brow but didn’t dare ask. Knowing what I did of Arctic, his answer would make me roll my eyes and regret asking.

  Riff waited for us outside choir, and I barreled into his open arms. With a shuddering sigh, I hugged him as tight as I could. My conversation with Tyger played through my head, and I wished Riff was an alpha. Even though Arctic stood a few feet away. Cursing myself, I tried to pull away only for Riff’s arms to tighten, thus halting my retreat. “You have five seconds to explain, or I will tickle you. If that doesn’t work, I’ll confer with Matty to find something that will,” Riff declared in a voice devoid of emotion.

  Swallowing nervously, I pushed his chest with all of my strength, and he moved his foot when I knocked him off balance, but that was all I accomplished. Still, I was proud of myself for forcing the werewolf to take a step at all. Arctic did not share my hesitance to share what caused my sudden despair. “While Ryker was gone, Angel learned that while she has a mate chosen by fate, any alpha can petition to be her mate,” Arc chuckled with a grin full of mischief. When I looked at him, tears clinging to my lashes, he shook his head with a chuckle. “Angel, you hurt him by not explaining. While the thought of tel
ling him what’s going on in your head pains you, his soul aches because he fears he did something wrong. You tried to abandon your friend, don’t forget.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” Riff asked after a moment in response to Arc’s explanation. The shifter burst out laughing, shaking his head at us, and I closed my eyes while trying to fight the tears filling them.

  “Oh, I see why she’s so upset. You are quite the duo. Poor little mite. I agree, he’d be good for you, and you would make an adorable couple. Pity he’s not an alpha, eh? But, hey, I’ll be your consolation prize,” Arctic chortled, pulling me from Riff’s slack arms. I didn’t dare look at him when the shifter pulled my numb body into the classroom. My cheeks burned when I risked a glance only to discover the choir listened to our conversation.

  I expected pity, which there was a little of that in their eyes, but they appeared exasperated. “I swear, you could hit that boy in the face with a dictionary, and he would still be a dunce,” Rebel declared with a roll of her eyes. A soft snicker escaped before I could withhold the sound, and she grinned as did her twin Dare.

  “Well, I’m sure anybody you hit in the face with a book that thick will be a bit, oh how do I put this,” Drake mused with a wicked grin. While I stood there, glancing at them from beneath my lashes, Drake approached to pull me into a gentle hug which I returned with a shuddering sigh of relief. I knew they wouldn’t judge me, but it still was nice to be reminded that this group of teenagers were the first to see me and decide I was worth getting to know. Even if it was because I’m an omega, they still asked, and cared. They didn’t fake it, and that was priceless.

  “Dumb?” Jazlyn offered with an innocent expression, albeit her eyes were full of laughter. She hugged me too, before kissing my forehead while Drake refused to release me. “You’re not an alpha either,” she added with a scoff.

  “Meh, see, I can be Angel’s side toy, and I’m okay with that. When she gets bored with putting domineering alphas in their place, Angel can have some genuine fun playing with me,” Drake declared with a shrug. My eyes met his, and he grinned with a wink. Dissolving into laughter, I trusted the teenager to keep me upright while I expressed my mirth for his ridiculous statement. Once I realized I trusted him and didn’t agonize over it, I froze, the last of my laughter dying on my lips.

  “Let me be the first to say how proud I am of Angel for that show of trust. However, I refuse to acknowledge the intelligence of the idiot who caused it,” Talia sighed, rolling her eyes with a smile. “Sheer dumb luck.”

  “Emphasis on the dumb,” Ethan agreed with a laugh. Benny snorted, as did Flik, and I chuckled while I relaxed again. It surprised me to notice Claire stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, shaking her head while she quietly argued with Riff. They refused to let him in?

  “You need a moment to recover from what happened, and he needs time to think before he does something stupid. Like challenge alpha Evan when he returns tomorrow. That would be dumb, but he would do it. Or challenge Kyler today, which would be equally foolish. While he could win, it would displease alpha Evan. Not that Riff did it to be with you, but that he rushed to do so before Kyler’s father returned home,” Mara explained gently. “Riff can be dense. But he loves you and love makes us do things we wouldn’t.”

  “However,” Flik sighed, his eyes full of grief, “he doesn’t love you that way, Angel. Not romantically. I don’t think you love him like that either, albeit you wish you did. Which I understand. How could you not hope for the boy who took you under his wing and abandoned us to help you feel safe?” I swallowed audibly, my heart becoming pained at the reminder I took Riff from his biggest love. Singing.

  “I’m sorry to be so much trouble,” I whispered, my eyes on the ground with tears filling them. A laughing Arctic pulled me from Drake to hug me, and I turned to hide my face in his chest.

  “What you need to remember, pups, is that Angel’s emotionally unstable at the moment. She can be buoyantly happy and crash a second later to be so depressed she can barely move. So, I do not recommend serious topics. Between Kyler, her monster, what happened at Ryker’s house, and the news she received early this morning, Angel needs introvert time to process. Tonight she must be startled as well. Otherwise, your previous alpha will descend upon her and go to war with Marcus. Stop trying to explain things her heart cannot handle in its overworked state. Don’t hold yourselves accountable either. If you want to help Angel, then let her breathe,” Arctic explained in a voice so severe it raised the hair on the back of my neck.

  Nodding, the choir grew thoughtful and took their chairs, including Claire and Riff, while Arctic refused to let me join them. “They mean well, but you’re a bit of a mess, love,” Arctic chuckled. “It’s to be expected, so they need to give you time to process. Later, I’ll whisk you away for some time alone. I know a place you can feel alone where I will be close enough to call upon if needed.” That sounded wonderful because I needed to charge my introvert batteries. I loved having these people in my life, but I needed my time alone too.

  Mr. Thatch watched us interact until the rest of the choir was seated and ready to begin, then he smiled and indicated my chair. Arctic released me, then sat against the wall so he could watch us with a curious expression. They seemed pleased to have a captive audience, even if he was only one person.

  We warmed up, with Mr. Thatch at the piano while he ran us through scales and a few jaunty songs. Smiling, he announced we should prepare for the winter concert since I missed the fall one by a few weeks. Riff grinned, suggesting a few songs that caused some eyes to roll, and I chuckled under my breath. I loved their dynamic and was happy to be part of the group. Claire mentioned a song that was met with several boos, and I laughed. I couldn’t help it, although I tried.

  While they debated, I pulled out my sketchbook and sang under my breath. It was only after I finished the first verse of ‘Hallelujah’ that I remembered they were werewolves and could hear me. My cheeks heated, and I stopped singing only to scrunch in my seat when deafening silence weighed heavily in the choir room.

  “So that’s one song. Acappella?” Mr. Thatch asked sardonically, and they nodded as one. Aw crap. Chuckling, he mentioned a few traditional songs, and I bit my lip while hoping I would be here to enjoy the concert. It’s been a long time since I’ve looked forward to a choir concert because I never know if I will get to take part. But since I love to sing so much, it’s worth the uncertainty.

  Before I knew it, the bell signaling lunch rang, and I stared at it with trepidation. I’ve avoided Kyler, but would I duck his attention in the lunchroom? Thinking of the cafeteria caused my mind to recall what happened the last time I was within its walls. My stomach churned, and Arctic was beside me with a touch of desperation in his eyes. “Easy, Angel. Remember, you need to take it easy. It hasn’t been long enough,” he murmured with a touch of panic in his voice. “I know it’s frustrating, but believe me, it’s necessary.”

  “Right, because the consequences suck,” I replied with a sigh. After several deep breaths, I calmed myself, although my anxiety still lurked deep within my heart. Hopefully, it wouldn’t cause any problems. Then again, this is me we’re talking about so yay. Consequences with a side of awkward coming right up. I swallowed nervously when the choir stood to head to the lunchroom with encouraging smiles. Sure, it’s easy for them to be hopeful since they don’t have to face someone who rejected them at first sight.

  Arctic insisted on carrying my backpack, his arm going around my shoulders again while he propelled me along behind my classmates. Riff kept glancing at us with a worried expression that made me feel guilty on top of my anxiousness. I didn’t mean to upset him, nor did he need that on his plate on top of everything else he already put up with because of me. Why did I become so selfish?

  “You’re projecting,” Arctic warned quietly. “If you want to put that mutt in his place, I would focus on the happiness you feel being part of a group. You love this choir, and the frie
nds you’ve made, right? Think about that, hmm?” I nodded, trying to focus on how happy being part of the choir made me when Arc lowered his head and voice. “He’s pleased you love him that much but worried you need saving. It’s cute and frustrating that the pup can love you but not see you don’t need a hero. You’re far stronger than that boy will ever be, I hope. By that, I mean, I hope he never has to learn to be unwavering while standing in the sights of a monster. Still, your friend should recognize you’re not helpless. What you need is for him to love you without trying to save you from everything. Personally, I think its shock making him so dumb. I mean, he was fine before, wasn’t he? So, we shall give Riff the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to shock.”

  Swallowing, I nodded, stumbling a step when I realized we were about to step into the cafeteria. Breathe. I need to breathe and not think of what happened last time I was here. I can do this. After a deep, calming breath, I raised my head and walked into the lunchroom as if I hadn’t fled from it a little over a week ago. Instead of thinking about the surly alpha, I focused on how happy I was that Riff was a dork. Instead of hating me for hoping he was an alpha, he wanted to be one. Not because we were in love, but due to his desire to keep me safe. Stifling. That’s what the relationship would become. Thinking of it that way allowed my heart to let go of what it clung to. Sure, it would ache for a little while yet, but the knowledge that we were not suited made it easier to bear. Plus, I was sure there was someone perfect for Riff out there somewhere, and I would hate myself if I robbed him of his chance at happily ever after.