Frank Mildmay; Or, the Naval Officer

by Frederick Marryat

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.

  In all states of Europe, there are a set of men who assume from their infancy a pre-eminence independent of their moral character. The attention paid to them from the moment of their birth, gives them the idea that they are formed for command, and they soon learn to consider themselves a distinct species and, being secure of a certain rank and station, take no pains to make themselves worthy of it. RAYNAL.

  It is now time to make my reader acquainted with my new ship and newcaptain. The first was a frigate of the largest class, built on purposeto cope with the large double-banked frigates of the Yankees. Shecarried thirty long twenty-four pounders on her main deck, and the samenumber of forty-two pound carronades on her quarter gangways andforecastle.

  I had been a week on board, doing duty during the day, and flirting onshore, at Mr Somerville's at Blackheath, during the evening. I hadseen no captain yet, and the first lieutenant had gone on shore onemorning to stretch his legs. I was commanding officer; the people wereall at their dinner; it was a drizzling soft rain, and I was walking thequarter-deck by myself, when a shore-boat came alongside with a personin plain-clothes. I paid him no attention, supposing him to be awine-merchant or a slop-seller come to ask permission to serve the ship.The stranger looked at the dirty man-ropes which the side-boy held offto him, and inquired if there was not a clean pair? The lad replied inthe negative; and the stranger, perceiving there was no remedy, tookhold of the dirty ropes and ascended the side.

  Reaching the quarter-deck, he came up to me, and showing a pair ofsulphur-coloured gloves bedaubed with tar and dirt, angrily observed,"By G---, sir, I have spoiled a new pair of gloves."

  "I always take my gloves off when I come up the side," said I.

  "But I choose to keep mine on," said the stranger. "And why could not Ihave had a pair of clean ropes?"

  "Because," said I, "my orders are only to give them when the side ispiped."

  "And why was not the side piped for me, sir?"

  "Because, sir, we never pipe the side until we know who it is for."

  "As sure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, I will report you to yourcaptain for this," said he.

  "We only pipe the side for officers in uniform," said I; "and I am yetto learn by what right you demand that honour."

  "I am, sir," said he, (showing his card), "---, etcetera. Do you knowme now?"

  "Yes, sir," said I, "as a gentleman; but until I see you in a captain'suniform I cannot give you the honours you demand." As I said this, Itouched my hat respectfully.

  "Then, sir," said he, "as sure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, Ishall let you know more of this;" and having asked whether the captainwas on board, and received an answer in the negative, he turned round,and went down the side into his boat, without giving me an opportunityof supplying him with a pair of clean ropes. He pulled away for theshore, and I never heard anything more of the dirty ropes and soiledgloves.

  This officer, I afterwards learned, was in the habit of interlarding hisdiscourse with this darling object of his ambition; but as he is now amember of the Upper House, it is to be supposed he has exchanged theaffidavit for some other. While he commanded a ship he used to say, "Assure as I shall sit in the House of Peers, I will flog you, my man;" andwhen this denunciation had passed his lips the punishment was neverremitted. With us, the reverse of this became our by-word; lieutenants,midshipmen, sailors, and marines asserted their claim to veracity bysaying, "As sure as I shall _not_ sit in the House of Peers."

  This was the noble lord who, when in command of one of His Majesty'sships in China, employed a native of that country to take his portrait.The resemblance not having been flattering, the artist was sharplyrebuked by his patron. The poor man replied, "Oh no, master, how canhandsome face make if handsome face no have got?" This story has, likemany other good stories, been pirated, and applied to other cases; but Iclaim it as the legitimate property of the navy, and can vouch for itsorigin as I have related.

  My mess-mates dropped in one after another until our number wascompleted; and at length a note, in an envelope addressed to the firstlieutenant "on service," and marked on the lower left-hand corner withthe name of the noble writer, announced that our captain would make hisappearance on the following day. We were of course prepared to receivehim in our full uniforms, with our cocked-hats and swords, with themarine guard under arms. He came alongside at half-past twelve o'clock,when the men were at dinner, an unusual hour to select, as it is not thecustom ever to disturb them at their meals if it can be avoided. Heappeared in a sort of undress frock-coat, fall-down-collar, anchorbuttons, no epaulettes, and a lancer's cap, with a broad gold band.

  This was not correct, but as he was a lord he claimed privilege; and onthis rock of privilege we found afterwards that he always perchedhimself on every occasion. We were all presented to him, and to each hecondescended to give a nod. His questions were all confined to thefirst lieutenant, and all related to his own comforts. "Where is mysteward to lie--where is my valet to sleep--where is my cow-pen--andwhere are my sheep to be?" We discovered, when he had been one hour inour company, that his noble self was the god of his idolatry. As forthe details of the ship and her crew, masts, rigging, stowage,provisions, the water she would carry, and how much she drew, they weresubjects on which he never fatigued his mind.

  One hour having expired since he had come on board, he ordered his boatand returned to the shore, and we saw no more of him, until we arrivedat Spithead, when his lordship came on board, accompanied by a personwhom we soon discovered was a half-pay purser in the navy--a man who bydint of the grossest flattery and numerous little attentions had socompletely ingratiated himself with his patron that he had become asnecessary an appendage to the travelling equipage as the portmanteau orthe valet-de-chambre. This despicable toady was his lordship's double;he was the living type of Gnatho of Terence; and I never saw him withoutremembering the passage that ends "_Si negat, id quoque nego_." Blackwas white, and white was black with toady, if his lordship pleased; hemessed in the cabin, did much mischief in the ship, and only escapedkicking because he was too contemptible to be kicked.

  My fair readers are no doubt anxious to know how I parted with Emily,and truly I am not unwilling to oblige them, though it is, indeed, atender subject. As soon as we received our orders to proceed toSpithead, Mr Somerville, who had kept his house at Blackheath while theship was fitting, in hopes that my promotion might have taken placebefore she was ready, now prepared to quit the place to the renewedapplication of my father, the answer was that I must go abroad for mypromotion. This at once decided him to break up his summer quarters,very wisely foreseeing that unless he did so my services would be lostto my ship; and if he and Emily did not leave me behind at Woolwich Ishould probably be left behind by my captain: he therefore announced hisintended departure within twenty-four hours.

  Emily was very sorry, and so was I. I kindly reproached her with hercruelty; but she replied with a degree of firmness and good sense, whichI could not but admire, that she had but one counsellor and that was herfather, and that until she was married she never intended to have anyother; that by his advice she had delayed the union: and as we wereneither of us very old people, "I trust in God," said she, "we may meetagain." I admired her heroism, gave her one kiss, handed her into hercarriage, and we shook hands. I need not say I saw a tear or two in hereyes. Mr Somerville saw the shower coming on, pulled up the glass,gave me a friendly nod, and the carriage drove off. The last I saw ofEmily, at that time, was her right hand, which carried her handkerchiefto her eyes.

  After the dear inmates were gone, I turned from the door of the house indisgust, and ran direct to my boat, like a dog with a tin-kettle. WhenI got on board I hated the sight of everybody and the smell ofeverything; pitch, paint, bilge-water, tar, and rum, entering intohorrible combination, had conspired against me, and I was as sick and asmiserable as the most lovesick seaman can conceive. I have beforeobserved that
we had arrived at Spithead, and as I have nothing new tosay of that place, I shall proceed to sea.

  We sailed for the North American station, the pleasantest I could go towhen away from Emily. Our passage was tedious, and we were put on shortallowance of water. Those only who have known it will understand it.All felt it but the captain, who, claiming privilege, took a dozengallons every day to bathe his feet in, and that water when done withwas greedily sought for by the men. There was some murmuring about itwhich came to the captain's ears, who only observed with an apathypeculiar to Almack's--"you know, if a man has no privilege, what's theuse of being a captain?"

  "Very true, my lord," said the toad-eater, with a low bow.

  I will now give a short description of his lordship. He was a smart,dapper, well made man, with a handsome, but not an intellectualcountenance; cleanly and particular in his person; and, assisted by thepuffs of toady, had a very good opinion of himself; proud of hisaristocratic birth, and still more vain of his personal appearance. Hisknowledge on most points was superficial--high life, and anecdotesconnected with it, were the usual topics of his discourse; at his owntable he generally engrossed all the conversation; and while his guestsdrank his wine, "they laughed with counterfeited glee," etcetera. Hisreading was comprised in two volumes octavo, being the Memoirs of theCount de Grammont, which amusing and aristocratical work was never outof his hand. He had been many years at sea, but, strange to say, knewnothing, literally nothing, of his profession. Seamanship, navigation,and everything connected with the service, he was perfectly ignorant of.I had heard him spoken of as a good officer before he joined us; and Imust in justice to him say that he was naturally good-tempered, and Ibelieve as brave a man as ever drew a sword.

  He seldom made any professional remark being aware of his deficiency,and never ventured beyond his depth intentionally. When he came on thequarter-deck, he usually looked to the weather main-brace, and if it wasnot as taut as a hat would order it to be made so. Here he could noteasily commit himself; but it became a by-word with us when we laughedat him below. He had a curious way of forgetting, or pretending toforget, the names of men and things--I presume because they were so muchbeneath him; and in their stead substituted the elegant phrases of"what's-his-name," and "what-do-ye-call-'em," and "thingumbob."

  One day he went on deck, and actually gave me the following veryintelligible order: "Mr What's-his-name, have the goodness to--what-do-ye-call-'em--the--the thingumbob."

  "Ay, ay, my lord!" said I. "Afterguard, haul taut the weathermain-brace!" This was exactly what he meant.

  He was very particular and captious when not properly addressed. Whenan order is given by a commanding officer, it is not unusual to say,"Very good, sir;" implying that you perfectly understand, and are goingcheerfully to obey it. I had adopted this answer, and gave it to hislordship when I received an order from him, saying, "Very good, mylord."

  "Mr Mildmay," said his lordship, "I don't suppose you mean anythinglike disrespect, but I will thank you not to make that answer again: itis for _me_ to say `very good,' and not you. You seem to approve of myorder, and I don't like it; I beg you will not do it again, you know."

  "Very good, my lord," said I, so inveterate is habit. "I beg yourlordship's pardon, I mean `very well.'"

  "I don't much like that young man," said his lordship to his toady, whofollowed him up and down the quarter-deck like "the bobtail cur,"looking his master in the face. I did not hear the answer, but ofcourse it was an echo.

  The first time we reefed topsails at sea, the captain was on deck: hesaid nothing, but merely looked on. The second time, we found he hadcaught all the words of the first lieutenant, and repeated them in aloud and pompous voice, without knowing whether they were applicable tothe case or not. The third time he fancied he was able to go alone, anddown he fell--he made a sad mistake indeed. "Hoist away thefore-topsail," said the first lieutenant. "Hoist away thefore-topsail," said the captain. The men were stamping aft, and thetopsail-yards travelling up to the mast-head very fast, when they werestopped by a sudden check with the fore-topsail haulyards.

  "What's the matter?" said the first lieutenant, calling to me, who wasat my station on the forecastle.

  "Something foul of the topsail-tie," I replied.

  "What's the matter forward?" said the captain.

  "Topsail-tie is foul, my lord," answered the first lieutenant.

  "Damn the topsail-tie!--cut it away. Out knife there, aloft! I _will_have the topsail hoisted; cut away the topsail-tie!"

  For the information of my land readers, I should observe that thetopsail-tie was the very rope which was at that moment suspending theyard aloft. The cutting it would have disabled the ship until it couldhave been repaired; and had the order been obeyed, the topsail-yarditself would, in all probability, have been sprung, or broken in two onthe cap.

  We arrived at Halifax without falling in with an enemy; and as soon asthe ship was secured, I went on shore to visit all my dear Dulcineas,every one of whom I persuaded that on her account alone I had used myutmost interest to be sent out on the station. Fortunately for them andfor me, I was not long permitted to trifle away my time. We wereordered to cruise on the coast of North America. It was winter and verycold; we encountered many severe gales of wind, during which we sufferedmuch from the frequent and sudden snow-storms, north-east gales, andsharp frosts, which rendered our running-rigging almost unmanageable,and obliged us to pour boiling water into the sheaves of the blocks tothaw them, and allow the ropes to traverse; nor did the cold permit thecaptain to honour us with his presence on deck more than once in thetwenty-four hours.

  We anchored off a part of the coast which was not in a state of defence,and the people, being unprotected by their own government, consideredthemselves as neutrals, and supplied us with as much fish, poultry, andvegetables as we required. While we lay here, the captain and officersfrequently went on shore for a short time without molestation. Onenight, after the captain had returned, a snow-storm and a gale of windcame on. The captain's gig, which ought to have been hoisted up, wasnot; she broke her painter and went adrift, and had been gone some timebefore she was missed. The next morning, on making inquiry, it wasfound that the boat had drifted on shore a few miles from where we lay;and that having been taken possession of by the Americans, they hadremoved her to a hostile part of the coast, twenty-two miles off. Thecaptain was very much annoyed at the loss of his boat, which heconsidered as his own private property, although built on board by theking's men, and with the king's plank and nails.

  "As my private property," said his lordship, "it ought to be given up,you know."

  I did not tell him that I had seen the sawyers cutting an anchor-stockinto the plank of which it was built, and that the said plank had beenput down to other services in the expense-book. This, however, was nobusiness of mine; nor had I any idea that the loss of this little boatwould so nearly produce my final catastrophe; so it was, however, andvery serious results took place in consequence of this accident.

  "They _must_ respect private property, you know," said the captain tothe first lieutenant.

  "Yes," answered the lieutenant; "but they do not know that it is privateproperty."

  "Very true: then I will send and tell them so;" and down he went to hisdinner.

  The yawl was ordered to be got ready, and hoisted out at daylight, and Ihad notice given me that I was to go away in her. About nine o'clockthe next morning, I was sent for into the cabin; his lordship was stillin bed, and the green silk curtains were drawn close round his cot.

  "Mr Thingamy," said his lordship, "you will take the what's-his-name,you know."

  "Yes, my lord," said I.

  "And you will go to that town, and ask for my thingumbob."

  "For your gig, my lord?" said I.

  "Yes--that's all."

  "But, my lord, suppose they won't give it to me?"

  "Then take it."

  "Suppose the gig is not there, my lord; and i
f there, suppose theyrefuse to give it up?"

  "Then take every vessel out of the harbour."

  "Very well, my lord.--Am I to put the gun in the boat--or to takemuskets only?"

  "Oh, no--no arms--take a flag of truce--Number 8 (white flag) will do."

  "Suppose they will not accept the flag of truce, my lord?"

  "Oh, but they will: they always respect a flag of truce, you know."

  "I beg your lordship's pardon, but I think a few muskets in the boatwould be of service."

  "No, no, no--no arms! You will be fighting about nothing. You haveyour orders, sir."

  "Yes," thinks I, "I have. If I succeed, I am a robber; if I fail, I amliable to be hanged on the first tree."

  I left the cabin, and went to the first lieutenant. I told him what myorders were. This officer was, as I before observed, a man who had nofriends, and was therefore entirely dependent on the captain for hispromotion, and was afraid to act contrary to his lordship's orders,however absurd. I told him that, whatever might be the captain'sorders, I would not go without arms.

  "The orders of his lordship must be obeyed," said the lieutenant.

  "Why," said I, irritated at this folly, "you are as clever a fellow asthe skipper."

  This he considered so great an affront, that he ran down to his cabin,saying, "You shall hear from me again for this, sir."

  I concluded that he meant to try me by a court-martial, to which I hadcertainly laid myself open by this unguarded expression; but I went onthe quarter-deck, and, during his absence, got as many muskets into theboat as I wanted, with a proper proportion of ammunition. This washardly completed, before the lieutenant came up again, and put a letterinto my hands; which was no more than the very comfortable intelligence,that, on my return from the expedition on which I was then going, heshould expect satisfaction for the affront I had offered him. I wasglad, however, to find it was no worse. I laughed at his threat; and,as the very head and front of my offending was only having compared himto the captain, he could not show any resentment openly, for fear ofdispleasing his patron. In short, to be offended at it, was to offerthe greatest possible affront to the man he looked up to for promotion,and thus destroy all his golden prospects.

  As I put this well-timed challenge into my pocket, I walked down theside, got into my boat, and put off. It wanted but one hour of sunsetwhen I reached the part where this infernal gig was supposed to be, andthe sky gave strong indications of an approaching gale. Indeed, I donot believe another captain in the navy could have been found who, atsuch a season of the year, would have risked a boat so far from theship, on an enemy's coast and a lee-shore, for such a worthless object.

  My crew consisted of twenty men and a midshipman. When we arrived offthe mouth of the harbour, we perceived four vessels lying at anchor, andpulled directly in. We had, however, no opportunity of trying our flagof truce, for as soon as we came within range of musket-shot a volleyfrom two hundred concealed militiamen struck down four of my men. Therewas then nothing left for it but to board, and bring out the vessels.Two of them were aground, and we set them on fire, it being dead lowwater (thanks to the delay in the morning): in doing this, we had moremen wounded. I then took possession of the other two vessels, andgiving one of them in charge of the midshipman, who was quite a lad, Idesired him to weigh his anchor. I gave him the boat with all the menexcept four whom I kept with me. The poor fellow probably lost moremen, for he cut his cable, and got out before me. I weighed my anchor,but had one of my men killed by a musket-ball in doing it. I stood outafter the midshipman. We had gained an offing of four miles, when aviolent gale and snow-storm came on. The sails belonging to the vesselall blew to rags immediately, being very old. I had no resource exceptto anchor, which I did on a bank, in five fathom water. The othervessel lost all her sails, and, having no anchor, as I then conjecturedand afterwards learned, drifted on shore and was dashed to pieces, thepeople being either frozen to death, wounded, or taken prisoners.

  The next morning I could see the vessel lying on shore a wreck, coveredwith ice. A dismal prospect to me, as at that time I knew not what hadbecome of the men. My own situation was even less enviable; the vesselwas frail, and deeply laden with salt: a cargo, which, if it by anymeans gets wet, is worse than water, since it cannot be pumped out, andbecomes as heavy as lead; nothing could, in that event, have kept thevessel afloat, and we had no boat in case of such an accident. I hadthree men with me, besides the dead body in the cabin, and a pantry asclear as an empty house--not an article of any description to eat. Iwas four miles from the shore in a heavy gale of wind, the pleasure ofwhich was enhanced by snow and the bitterest cold I ever experienced.We proceeded to examine the vessel, and found that there was on board aquantity of sails and canvas that did not fit, but had been bought withan intention of making up for this vessel, and not before she wantedthem; there was also an abundance of palms, needles, and twine: but toeat there was nothing except salt, and to drink nothing but one cask offresh water. We kindled a fire in the cabin, and made ourselves as warmas we could, taking a view on deck now and then to see if she drove orif the gale abated. She pitched heavily, taking in whole seas over theforecastle, and the water froze on the deck. The next morning we foundwe had drifted a mile nearer to the shore, and the gale continued withunabated violence. The other vessel lay a wreck, with her masts gone,and as it were _in terrorem_, staring us in the face.

  We felt the most pinching hunger; we had no fuel after the second day,except what we pulled down from the bulkheads of the cabin. We amusedourselves below, making a suit of sails for the vessel, and drinking hotwater to repel the cold. But this work could not have lasted long; theweather became more intensely cold, and twice did we set the prize onfire in our liberality with the stove to keep ourselves warm. The iceformed on the surface of the water in our kettle, till it was dissolvedby the heat from the bottom. The second night passed like the first;and we found, in the morning, that we had drifted within two miles ofthe shore. We completed our little sails this day, and with greatdifficulty contrived to bend them.

  The men were now exhausted with cold and hunger, and proposed that weshould cut our cable and run on shore; but I begged them to wait tillthe next morning, as these gales seldom lasted long. This they agreedto: and we again huddled together to keep ourselves warm, the outsideman pulling the dead man close to him by way of a blanket. The galethis night moderated, and towards the morning the weather was fine,although the wind was against us, and to beat her up to the ship wasimpossible. From the continued freezing of the water the bobstays andthe rigging were coated with ice five or six inches thick, and theforecastle was covered with two feet of clear ice, showing the ropescoiled underneath it.

  There was no more to be done: so, desiring the men to cut the cable, Imade up my mind to run the vessel on shore and give myself up. Wehoisted the foresail, and I stood in with the intention of surrenderingmyself and people at a large town which I knew was situated about twelvemiles farther on the coast. To have given myself up at the place wherethe vessels had been captured I did not think would have been prudent.

  When we made sail on the third morning, we had drifted within half amile of the shore, and very near the place we had left. Field-pieceshad been brought down against us. They had the range but they could notreach us. I continued to make more sail, and to creep along shore,until I came within a few cables length of the pier, where men, women,and children were assembled to see us land; when suddenly a snow-stormcame on; the wind shifted, and blew with such violence that I couldneither see the port, nor turn the vessel to windward into it; and as Iknew I could not hold my own, and that the wind was fair for our ship,then distant about forty miles, we agreed to up helm and scud for her.

  This was well executed. About eleven at night we hailed her, and askedfor a boat. They had seen us approaching, and a boat instantly came,taking us all on board the frigate, and leaving some fresh hands incharge of the prize.

  I
was mad with hunger and cold, and with difficulty did we get up theside, so exhausted and feeble were the whole of us. I was ordered downinto the cabin, for it was too cold for the captain to show his face ondeck. I found his lordship sitting before a good fire, with his toes inthe grate; a decanter of Madeira stood on the table, with a wine-glass,and most fortunately, though not intended for my use, a large rummer.This I seized with one hand and the decanter with the other; and,filling a bumper, swallowed it in a moment, without even drinking hislordship's good health. He stared, and I believe thought me mad. Icertainly do own that my dress and appearance perfectly correspondedwith my actions. I had not been washed, shaved, or "cleaned," I sincehad left the ship, three days before. My beard was grown, my cheekshollow, my eyes sunk, and for my stomach, I leave that to thosefortunate Frenchmen who escaped from the Russian campaign, who only canappreciate my sufferings. My whole haggard frame was enveloped in ahuge blue flushing coat frosted like a plum-cake with ice and snow.

  As soon as I could speak, I said, "I beg pardon, my lord, but I have hadnothing to eat or drink since I left the ship."

  "Oh, _then_ you are very welcome," said his lordship; "I never expectedto see you again."

  "Then why the devil did you send me?" thought I to myself.

  During this short dialogue, I had neither been offered a chair or anyrefreshment, of which I stood so much in need; and if I had been able,should have been kept standing while I related my adventures. I wasabout to commence, when the wine got into my head; and to supportmyself, I leaned, or rather staggered, on the back of a chair.

  "Never mind now," said the captain, apparently moved from his listlessapathy by my situation; "go and make yourself comfortable, and I willhear it all to-morrow."

  This was the only kind thing he had ever done for me; and it came so _apropos_ that I felt grateful to him for it, thanked him, and went belowto the gun-room, where, notwithstanding all I had heard and read of thedangers of repletion after long abstinence, I ate voraciously and drankproportionately, ever and anon telling my astonished mess-mates, whowere looking on, what a narrow escape the dead body had of beingdissected and broiled. This, from the specimen of my performance, theyhad no difficulty in believing. I recommended the three men who hadbeen with me to the care of the surgeon; and, with his permission,presented each of them with a pint of hot brandy and water wellsweetened, by way of a night-cap. Having taken these precautions, andsatisfied the cravings of nature on my own part, as well as the cravingsof curiosity on that of my mess-mates, I went to bed and slept soundlytill the next day at noon.

  Thus ended this anomalous and fatal expedition: an ambassador sent withthe sacred emblem of peace, to commit an act of hostility under itsprotection. To have been taken under such circumstances, would havesubjected us to be hanged like dogs on the first tree; to have goneunarmed would have been an act of insanity, and I therefore took upon meto disobey an unjust and absurd order. This, however, must not bepleaded as an example to juniors, but a warning to seniors how they giveorders without duly weighing the consequences:

  The safest plan is always to obey. Thus did his Majesty's service loseeighteen fine fellows, under much severe suffering, for a boat, "the_private_ property" of the captain, not worth twenty pounds.

  The next day, as soon as I was dressed, the first lieutenant sent tospeak to me. I then recollected the little affair of the challenge. "Adelightful after-piece," thought I, "to the tragedy, to be shot by thefirst lieutenant only for calling him as clever a fellow as thecaptain." The lieutenant, however, had no such barbarous intentions; hehad seen and acknowledged the truth of my observation, and, being awell-meaning north-countryman, he offered me his hand, which I took withpleasure, having had quite enough of stimulus for that time.