Losing Love (What Will Be Book Series)

by Laura Ashley Gallagher

  She’s feisty and seeing him speak to her means I get to see a different side to him. And damn it if it doesn’t make me warm all the way to my fingertips.

  “Yes,” he drawls.

  “Can I say hi?”

  He glances at me like he’s afraid I’m about to run for the hills.

  When he doesn’t answer, she says, “Is Mandy my aunt now?”

  I swear the colour drains from his face. He needs rescuing.

  Without a second thought, I grab the phone from his hand. I clear my throat. “Hey, Ava. I’m Mandy.” I wave at the screen.

  I can see a blush creep across her cheekbones as she swipes a black-coloured strand away from her face.

  “Hi.” She’s suddenly shy and her voice is small.

  I dart my eyes back to Alex and I don’t know if the look in his eyes is fear or if he’s gone a little mushy.

  I set the phone on the counter and lean down on my elbows, resting my chin on my palm.

  “So, what lipstick did you want to wear?”

  She holds up the crimson stick.

  Sweet heavens.

  “I like the colour, but I think it might be a bit much for summer camp. And you don’t need lipstick. You’re already so pretty.”

  And she is. Big brown eyes covered with thick lashes and the cutest pout.

  She sighs and puckers her lips. “That’s what Uncle Alex tells me.”

  I nod and smile. “You should listen to him. Let me tell you something my mom taught me when I wanted to wear makeup.” I pinch my cheeks between my fingers. “If you do this a couple of times, it makes your cheeks all rosy, and then you won’t need anything else.”

  Alex grunts at my side. “Jesus Christ, she will have her cheeks ripped off.”

  I wave my hand at him to shut him up.

  When I look back, she’s already doing it.

  “See. Beautiful.”

  She smiles a big, toothy grin. “Thanks, Mandy.”

  “No problem. Do you want to talk to Alex again?”

  “No thanks,” she says and the phone drops from her hand. I’m looking at a ceiling when I hear her shout, “Mama, look at my cheeks.”

  Hand on my hips, I turn back to Alex, quite proud of how I handled that. “Crisis averted. She’s a cutie.”

  “She breaks my heart. She’s six going on sixteen and she has the attitude to prove it.”

  “It’s nice you’re so close to your family. She obviously adores you.”

  There’s affection in his eyes, and it warms my blood.

  “We’re all close, but when my mother died, Lydia took on the mother role. I was twenty, but she still felt like she could boss me around. Then Ava came into our lives and there wasn’t a dad in the picture, so I wanted to make sure she at least had some kind of father figure. Can’t say I’m doing a good job at it, but she has me wrapped around her little finger.”

  I can see that.

  “It looks like you’re doing a great job from here.”

  His eyes turn dark, and the atmosphere around us doesn’t seem so playful anymore. He leans in closer, pulling at the waistband of my jeans so I’m pressed against him. “You’re sexy as sin, woman.”

  I want to keep talking. I want to know more. I want to know everything, but his hands are suggesting something else.

  Conversation over.

  I press my palm against his chest. “Oh, really?”

  He nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck and kisses the skin along my collarbone.

  Don’t stop.

  But his phone buzzes again and this time he doesn’t hide his frustration. “For fuck’s sake.”

  It’s not the ring tone for a video call. I assume it’s not Ava.

  “Ignore it,” he groans, his voice unrecognisable.

  I want to. I want to tell him to throw the phone far away and get back to kissing me, but I know better.

  “It could be important. Business never stops, remember?” I smile reassuringly, kissing him once more before releasing him.

  Reluctantly, he pulls away from me, and I immediately regret telling him to take the call. My body feels empty in his absence.

  His lips edge up apologetically as he brings the phone to his ear. “This better be important,” he snaps, making his way to the back garden.

  I continue where he left off, making the pancakes, heating a pan, and pouring a scoop of batter in. Every so often, my eyes dart to the window. His face is animated with what I think is frustration, and he is waving his hand in the air. Whatever the phone call is about, he isn’t happy. I hope he doesn’t have to leave. I want more of what I got on the counter.

  Long minutes later, as I finish putting the pancakes and bacon on plates, he walks back inside. He switches off the phone and tosses it on the table. His shoulders tense, and his feelings are clear on his face. Glancing at the food, he huffs and throws his head back.

  “It’s fine,” I say, already knowing he’s about to apologize. “I enjoy cooking pancakes.” I stretch on my tiptoes to kiss his chin. “Everything okay?”

  “It’s nothing that couldn’t have waited until Monday. Some of those men still need me to hold their hand.”

  “Sit,” I order, pulling out a chair. “You’re grumpy when you’re hungry.”

  “Thank you.” He smiles, giving in to my demands. “These look better than my pancakes, anyway.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek to stop my giggle, knowing the comment is an extra blow to his ego.

  He gets stuck in when I take my seat, his mood lifting with every bite. “My mom used to make pancakes every Saturday when we were kids.”

  The titbit of information about his mother and an insight into his childhood makes my face stretch with a grin.

  “Even as adults, we always went to my parents’ house on a Saturday morning for pancakes. Some families do Sunday dinners. We had Saturday morning breakfast.” His eyes are soft as he replays the memory. I reach across to stroke his hand with my thumb. “We don’t do it as much as we should since she died. None of us can make pancakes like she used to, but these are the best I’ve had since hers.” He takes my hand in his and kisses my palm.

  “It’s love,” I blurt, and both of our eyes widen at my declaration. My cheeks blush furiously. I need to sew my mouth shut. “The secret ingredient in the pancakes,” I quickly explain, but he’s looking at me like I make no sense because I don’t. “My mother used to always say, the secret ingredient to the best pancakes is love. They have to be made with love.”

  His lips purse painfully before his shoulders erupt in waves of laughter. I quickly follow, his amusement easing the tension, but I still burn with embarrassment.

  “I really need to start explaining myself better,” I moan, covering my face with my hands.

  Getting up from his seat, he crouches in front of me, forcing my hands away, and taking them in his. The look in his eyes makes me instantly relax.

  “It’s definitely love.” He smiles, his voice strong and reassuring, and the way he says it makes my heart jump in my chest. I don’t know if we’re still talking about pancakes. “Your mother is a smart woman. I’m looking forward to meeting her.” Before taking his seat again, he places his lips over the back of my hand. Eyes covered by thick lashes closing momentarily.

  “Speaking of my mother, and while I’m out here blurting things out. Would you like to meet my parents? It’s their thirtieth wedding anniversary in three weeks, and they asked if you would come to the party they are having at our restaurant?”

  His head rolls back, another grunt escaping him, before roughly running his hands over his face. This man is a ball of frustration today. Am I scaring him that much?

  “I’m sorry, Mandy, I can’t. I can’t tell you how much I want to, but I can’t.”

  That’s a lot of can’t.

  My heart sinks, and I’m sure it’s visible in my expression.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. That’s what the phone call was about. The latest build: the apartment comp
lex has proven to be more difficult than originally planned. A shipment from overseas has been delayed since last week, so now to catch up with the deadline I must put men on different shifts over twenty-four hours. The call earlier was from my colleague, Andrew. He was having trouble getting the permits, but I got it sorted. I’m so sorry.” He seems genuinely disappointed, like the thought of letting me down pains him.

  “Alex, you will have plenty of opportunities to meet my parents. I understand.” I get up to sit across his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Best to enjoy today then, because it sounds like you are going to be a busy man.”

  He cups the side of my face with his hand, bringing it closer to his.

  “Mandy, you are overflowing with the secret ingredient.” He covers his mouth over mine, both of us gasping against each other.

  Love.

  It’s definitely love.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Something happened to me this morning. Something strange and uncomfortable and I didn’t like it.

  I woke up and felt needy.

  I’ve woken from my sleep because of loneliness on more than one occasion, but I was never needy.

  I chastise myself and try to convince myself it’s juvenile, but it’s not. Deep down, I know he’s my gravity, and he pulls me towards him always. His atmosphere breaks away all the dark clouds.

  Over the years before Alex, I grew accustomed to the cold and loneliness. It became my constant companion. I was living in this murky underworld where everything appeared bland, and my heart always threatened to cave in.

  Then he came along.

  He eases the pain, like a drug I can’t get enough of because, without him, I begin to slip back under. It might not be healthy, but it’s too late. I’m addicted.

  I’m addicted to him.

  I’m addicted to his touch and the way he looks at me.

  I’ve lost my damn mind.

  This is why I’m pulling onto a dirt road and passing the sign for Hale Construction. I continue until I reach the site and bounce around on my seat as my car screeches against gravel, throwing dust clouds in the air.

  It’s the weekend, but Alex is working every minute he can. The deadline for his project is approaching quickly. With delayed shipments and clients driving Alex within an inch of insanity, everyone works around the clock. Including the boss.

  I hate admitting how much, but I miss him. The feeling pains me, digging at me somewhere below my ribcage until I feel bruised.

  He shared my bed last night, but I haven’t seen him properly in a week. He was late at work, and I already exhausted myself with sleep that would not come. So, when he called before midnight, I tiredly made my way to the door. He wrapped me in his arms, kissing me deeply, the scent that is uniquely Alex filling my senses, and I allowed myself to melt into him. No words, just heated kisses before I pulled away. His shoulders were tense and straining under the material of his flannel shirt, his eyes rimmed red, and dirt smeared across his face.

  “I put fresh towels in the bathroom.” I knew he wouldn’t relax into sleep until he washed the day off.

  He didn’t say a word. The right side of his mouth rose before he took me, claiming me with his tongue.

  I returned to bed as I heard the water run in the shower. Five minutes later, he crawled in beside me, his intense heat at my back as he pulled me towards him, our bodies fitting perfectly together, and he encased me against his strong chest.

  “Seeing you at the end of a tough day will always make it worth it, Mandy.” His voice was tired and lazy. “Goodnight, baby.”

  “Goodnight,” I whispered, interlocking my fingers with his at my chest.

  Neither of us needed to say it, but we both knew why he was there. We slept better when we were together. Within minutes, his breathing fell even at my neck, and then I welcomed a deep sleep of my own.

  I woke to cold sheets, an empty bed, and an even emptier heart.

  I don’t know what I’m expecting from showing up to see him unannounced, but I need to. I may be crazy, but I’m enjoying insanity.

  I step out from my car and my eyes take in the ten-storey luxury apartment complex that wasn’t there three months ago. The site bustles, busy workers everywhere, and the loud sounds of heavy machinery drown out their voices.

  I glance around, hoping I can set eyes on him, but nothing familiar catches my attention. I know he’ll be close to killing me for walking through the building site without a hard hat, but he’s worth it. And I enjoy the thought of him trying to be mad at me.

  I walk deeper into the site, and I regret wearing my knee-length sundress and sandals. There’s still no sign of Alex.

  “Excuse me,” I interrupt a man whistling a tune as he gets on with his work. “I’m looking for Alex.”

  He takes me in, his eyes roaming from my head to my toes. I really should have worn something a little more practical.

  “We’ve got a few of those around here. Got a last name for me?”

  I shake my head, feeling foolish and completely out of place. “Sorry. Yes. Alex Hale.”

  His mouth purses before edging into a knowing smile. “You’re here for the boss-man. He’s in the office.” He turns, pointing to the far side of the site at a temporary prefabricated building.

  “Thank you.” I smile appreciatively before moving away.

  “Good luck, love,” he calls after me. “He’s in a foul mood.”

  That wipes the smile right off my face. Swallowing hard to suppress my nerves, I wave another thanks before walking towards the office.

  It isn’t until I get closer I hear the boom of a roar. The voice I know. The tone of said voice is completely foreign. Alex always has a strong vibration when he speaks. His voice is deep and always reminds me of whiskey over ice. But I’ve never, in the short time I’ve known him, heard him raise his voice. Even slightly.

  “Bullshit, Dominic. The shipment was your responsibility. You fucked up. And Aiden, wipe the stupid look off your face. You fucked up just as much. You both better get your shit together, and if I see one of you slacking again, you can walk off this site, and don’t come back. I’ve got enough to deal with besides having to hold your hands.”

  Some muffled words follow and then I watch two grown men walk out of the office looking more like children after a humiliating spanking. One thing’s for sure: he’s most definitely angry.

  My shoulders square and more than once in ten seconds, I deliberate turning around and leaving. Maybe I’m the last person he wants to see. But as much as I fear interrupting his day at work, in his voice there was more stress than anger, and I want more than anything to soothe away the stress.

  I lean against the door frame, drinking him in before putting a break to whatever torment he’s in. I could soon be in the firing line of his rage, but I don’t care.

  His back is to me as he leans against his desk, and his muscles strain against the material of his white t-shirt. The veins along his tanned arms protrude as he grips the edge of the table, and his head has fallen between his shoulders.

  I tap my knuckles lightly against the door. “Why so serious, Mr. Hale?”

  For a split second, his fingers clutch tighter around the edge of his desk before recognition hits. He spins around, and his eyes lock with mine.

  And boom.

  This is why I am here.

  This is why I am needy, because with a single look my way, everything else disappears.

  A tingling sensation prickles along my spine, causing me to stand up straight as he drinks in every inch of me. I feel it. I feel the slow pull of his eyes down my body and back up, landing on my breasts before his eyes fasten on mine again.

  But dammit, apart from the obvious lust, and how he’s undressing me with a stare, I don’t know what he’s thinking.

  He lets out a loud breath. His shoulders visibly relax as his fingers stretch out from the fists he has balled them into.

  “Exactly what I needed.” Ever so slowly, his li
ps lift into a gentle smile, and I’m mush again, about to pool to liquid right here in his office.

  Nervously, I shift from one foot to the other.

  “Hey,” I breathe.

  The look in his eyes has stolen my voice, and the heat is suffocating. I bunch my hair in my hand, remove it from over my shoulders, and allow it to fall down my back. I wish I’d tied it up because my curls feel too heavy. But I don’t think the heat from the sun is the only thing making me hot, and my skin becomes clammy.

  Alex sees his opportunity and takes it. As Alex always does. He’s in front of me in a second, with his lips tracing along the skin of my collarbone, traveling leisurely up my neck, below my ear, and across my face.

  “And here I was, thinking you were angry.” My laugh is futile, and my breathing comes heavier.

  I close my eyes, fully aware of the busy work going on right behind me, but he doesn’t appear bothered.

  As his lips reach mine, they smother my moan, and he wraps his arm tightly around my back, bringing me closer. He pulls me inside the office, not once removing his lips from mine when he slams the door and backs me up against it. Finally, away from prying eyes.

  “Oh, believe me, Mandy. I am angry.” He rasps, and it makes my knees lock.

  His arm cages me in above my head, palm flat against the door, while his other arm is keeping my body close to his. His fingers run roughly along my shoulder, pushing my bag to the ground.

  That reminds me. I have breakfast.

  “I brought you some…” I swallow, blinking as his hand cups my breast.

  Alex is staring down at me, his eyes like lava, nothing playful, and all serious.

  “I brought you some food.”

  Both our breathing frantic, crazed heartbeats pounding at our chest, and almost molding into one.

  This should scare me, shouldn’t it? This should make me want to run away. But it doesn’t. It makes me want to say yes to everything his wild eyes are suggesting.

  “Thank you, baby, but I’m only hungry for you right now. And if you walk through my site again without a hard hat and in this dress, I’ll put you over my knee,” he warns with the hint of a smirk before his lips come crashing against me again.