Don't Cry for Me

by Rachel Lacey

  She sucked in a shaky breath, forcing the memories away. She lifted Blanche from her lap and laid her against the stuffed animal in the playpen where her brothers were piled up, sleeping peacefully. Nigel still sat there, watching her.

  “Get lost,” she snapped, turning her back on him.

  It was ridiculous, letting herself get worked up like this over a drop of spilled formula. Crying over spilled milk. Eve wasn’t looking for a family, not anymore, and she didn’t want to be reminded of the one she’d lost. She stood, drying her cheeks before walking into Josie’s bathroom to fix her makeup. She shouldn’t be here. Josie—and the damn kittens—stirred things in Eve that she didn’t want stirred.

  She removed all evidence of her tears, cleaned up the bottle-feeding supplies, and headed downstairs to the bar. Dragonfly’s noise and crowd was a welcome distraction, silencing the ghosts in her head as she slid onto her stool. She sat there, letting it fill her, the music, the buzz of conversation, the liquor still warming her blood. And she relaxed, resting an elbow against the bar.

  A glass appeared in front of her, and she looked into Josie’s smiling face. “Babies all cared for?”

  “They’re kittens, not babies.” Her voice came out harsher than she’d intended. She took a hearty gulp of her drink, avoiding Josie’s unflinching gaze. “But yes, they’re fine.”

  “Good,” Josie said, seemingly unscathed by Eve’s sharp edges. She leaned closer, purple hair falling around her face like a protective curtain, sealing Eve in a space where no one existed but the two of them. “Wish I could speed up the clock.”

  “Why?” Eve asked, hoping she sounded more nonchalant than she felt.

  “Because I’m impatient to take you upstairs and get you naked.”

  “Who says I’m here for sex?” Eve said, toying with her glass as she leveled Josie with her coolest stare. Second nights allowed for unwanted baggage. She needed to get over herself and leave right now, before she made this thing between them any more complicated than it already was.

  Josie laughed. She laughed, damn her. Eve might have tossed her drink in Josie’s smug face if she wasn’t so ridiculously aroused by the sight. Josie leaned in again, something wicked dancing in her eyes. “You’re cute when you lie.”

  Josie had been trying to speed up the clock all night, and now that it was finally closing time, she wanted to slow it back down. Because Eve wasn’t here. She’d gone upstairs almost an hour ago to feed the kittens a second time, and she must have slipped out the back, because she hadn’t returned to the bar. And Josie was irrationally disappointed about it.

  Worse, it was her fault. She shouldn’t have teased Eve earlier. It was a big fucking deal that she’d shown up at all, and Josie should have respected that. She should have appreciated how difficult this was for Eve. Instead, she’d turned it into a joke, and Eve had bolted.

  And she might not come back. She’d taken an emotional risk, and Josie had laughed in her face. Ugh. She could cry she was so upset with herself.

  “You okay?” Adam asked as he bent in front of the dishwasher.

  “Yep. Just tired.”

  “Where’d Eve go?”

  “Home,” she told him, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.

  “Bummer,” he said, thankfully knowing better than to pry right now.

  “Yep.” She went through the rest of her routine methodically, wiping down the bar and tabletops, cleaning and straightening, transferring all the money from the cash register to the safe in her office, setting everything to order. She said good night to Adam and Elizabeth, and then she trudged upstairs to her apartment…alone.

  It was just as well, because she was so tired, she could hardly see straight. Weekend bartending hours were no joke. She locked the door behind herself, grateful that at least the kittens had been fed, so she could fall face-first into bed for a few hours before she’d have to get up and feed them again.

  She was halfway across the room before she saw her. Eve was on the couch, slumped on her side, fast asleep with Nigel curled up beside her, keeping watch. Josie slapped a hand over her mouth, swallowing her surprise. Tentatively, she walked closer, making sure the image before her was real. It was no trick of her sleep-deprived and eternally optimistic eyes.

  Eve was really on her couch, feet on the floor, keeled over as if she’d passed out while feeding the kittens. Oh shit. Josie stepped closer, checking to make sure all four kittens were in the playpen, because even a petite woman like Eve could easily crush one to death if she rolled onto it in her sleep. But the kittens were all where they were supposed to be. Eve was responsible even in her exhausted state.

  Josie hesitated for a moment, wondering whether to wake her. But that position didn’t look comfortable, especially for a woman with fused vertebrae, and ultimately, it should be Eve’s choice whether she stayed the night. Josie shooed Nigel away and sat beside her, running a hand gently down Eve’s arm. She jerked beneath Josie’s touch, blinking up at her in confusion.

  “Hi,” Josie whispered.

  “Why are you…” Eve pushed herself upright, wincing as one hand went to her back.

  “You fell asleep on my couch,” Josie told her. “I thought you’d gone home when you didn’t come back to the bar after feeding the kittens.”

  “Oh.” Eve ran her hands through her hair, clearly disoriented.

  “I just closed up.” Josie tugged at her hand. “Come on. It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

  Eve followed her quietly to the bedroom, standing there in the darkness, her body humming with something unspoken as she came more fully back to her senses. Josie wasn’t sure what it was, but she felt it hanging heavily in the air between them. Carefully, she went to Eve, cupping her face in her hands and giving her a gentle kiss. “We can sleep now and save the rest for tomorrow, if you want.”

  “I’m not that tired,” Eve responded, hands sliding around Josie’s waist.

  “Could have fooled me,” Josie teased gently.

  “Well, I’m awake now,” Eve murmured. Her hands slipped beneath the waistband of Josie’s jeans, brushing against her bare skin.

  Josie pressed forward, kissing her the way she’d wanted to since she first saw Eve at the bar earlier tonight, the kind of kiss that scrambled her brain and had their bodies moving against each other, seeking contact, creating friction, igniting the fire that always seemed to be simmering between them.

  They fumbled with each other’s clothes, pushing down zippers and popping bra clasps, mouths separating only to lift shirts overhead. It was like a messily orchestrated dance as their hips sought every opportunity to press together, moving rhythmically. When they were naked, Josie pushed Eve onto the bed, following her down.

  They lay facing each other, still kissing as their hands roamed and teased. Josie palmed Eve’s breasts, loving the way they fit in her hands, small but perfect. Eve’s nipples pebbled beneath her touch, a gasp of pleasure escaping her lips as Josie toyed with them, wanting to memorize every inch of her.

  It was so late—or early, depending how she looked at it—and she was tempted to hurry, knowing they both desperately needed sleep. But she didn’t want to hurry. She wanted to spend hours finding out everything Eve liked, the most sensitive spots on her body, all the different ways to make her come.

  “Sometime,” Josie murmured as she trailed her hand down Eve’s stomach, “we have to do this when it’s not daybreak, so we can take our time and fuck each other properly.”

  “This isn’t proper enough for you?” Eve responded, one hand sliding between Josie’s legs.

  She gasped, hips arching instinctively into Eve’s touch. “You know what I mean.”

  “Yes.” Eve stroked her, hips jerking as Josie returned the favor. “I do.”

  “Good.” Josie matched the rhythm of Eve’s fingers, hips moving together as they brought each other closer to release. “Because it’s going to happen.”

  Eve didn’t respond to that, didn’t commit to a
nything beyond the pleasure of her nimble fingers as they drew circles around Josie’s clit, making her hips buck and her breath hitch. She pressed closer, giving as good as she got, fingers stroking and plunging. She focused her attention—or at least as much as she could manage—on providing pleasure, making a silent pact with herself to bring Eve to orgasm before she herself broke.

  And sure enough, Eve tensed against her, a cry of pleasure escaping her lips as she came, her body tightening and releasing around Josie’s fingers. She held herself still, letting Eve ride out her release, feeling her own body tighten with each wave of Eve’s pleasure.

  Eve’s fingers moved erratically against her before settling back into her previous rhythm with a vengeance. She swirled and stroked, making Josie see stars. The pressure inside her built steadily, and she pulled Eve closer, needing to feel every inch of Eve’s skin joined with hers as she floated toward release.

  “I’m so close,” she panted. They were connected everywhere, foreheads touching, breasts nestled together, hands between each other’s legs, all the way down to their toes, which were arched against each other as Josie used the leverage to thrust her hips into Eve’s.

  And then she was coming, release rushing through her, cleansing her of a long, exhausting day, shimmering inside her as if she’d been filled with sequins. She held on to Eve as tightly as she could, gasping for breath as she absorbed every last moment of pleasure.

  They stayed like that, facing each other, arms and legs entwined, until sleep began to soften the edges of her brain. And then—because she had tiny lives depending on her—she broke free long enough to set the alarm on her phone before sliding back into Eve’s arms, drifting blissfully into sleep in the comfortable warmth of her embrace.

  She woke a few hours later when her phone buzzed, fed the kittens without waking Eve, and slipped back into bed, still desperately tired. The next time she woke, sunlight streamed through the window, and the bed was empty.

  She smiled, imagining a replay of yesterday. Again, the smell of coffee permeated the apartment. Josie sat up, still wearing the T-shirt she’d put on to feed the kittens earlier that morning. The clock showed that—like yesterday—it was already past one. She went into the bathroom to freshen up before wandering into the living room.

  The kittens slept peacefully in their playpen, but Eve was nowhere to be seen. A piece of paper lay on the coffee table.

  Fed them at 10:30. Didn’t want to wake you.

  Unlike yesterday, Eve was gone.

  20

  If you have plans tonight after work, cancel them. I’m taking you on a real date.

  Eve stared at the text from Josie. Then she set the phone on her desk, returning to the email she’d been composing before the interruption. For some reason, the polite but firm rejection that should have been her automatic response—that was always her response to an invitation from someone she’d already slept with—failed her. The words wouldn’t come.

  Instead, she found herself mentally running through her closet, imagining what dress, what heels, what lingerie Josie might like best. Which was ludicrous. She and Josie had already had their night together. Two nights, in fact.

  Since Eve left her apartment yesterday morning, she hadn’t spoken to Josie and had done a pretty damn good job at not thinking about her either. But now, with Josie’s invitation lingering at her fingertips, she was all Eve could think about.

  Maybe they deserved to go on a real date and spend an entire night together. Maybe that was the reason Eve was shifting restlessly in her office chair, imagining all the things she and Josie hadn’t yet explored with each other. It was Monday, and Dragonfly was closed. This was her one chance to go out with Josie, something Josie herself had obviously already figured out. Eve picked up her phone.

  Awfully presumptuous of you, she replied.

  I’m very presumptuous where you’re concerned.

  That should have pissed her off. Instead, it turned her on. She crossed one leg over the other, spinning in her chair to face the window. When and where?

  Bohéme at 7.

  See you there.

  Eve put down her phone, drew in a deep breath, and got back to work. She successfully managed not to think about Josie for the rest of her workday. In fact, she didn’t let herself think about their upcoming date until she was on the subway headed home.

  What would Josie wear tonight? Somehow, Eve couldn’t picture her in anything but jeans. Would her hair still be purple? Probably. It had only been a day since they’d seen each other, after all.

  Eve walked into her apartment, pausing before she switched on the light to absorb the darkness, letting it sink into her pores. Sometimes, she preferred the dark so she didn’t have to see the emptiness that surrounded her. For a very long time, she hadn’t wanted anything—or anyone—in her life. She was married to her career now. Wasn’t that what people said?

  She’d always had big career ambitions. Owning her own marketing business had been her dream since college. And then, barely out of grad school, she’d fallen head over heels in love, and everything had changed. She’d taken a detour, and she would have continued happily on that course if fate hadn’t intervened. But it had. Losing Lisa had nearly broken her. She could never go through anything that painful again.

  She flipped on the light, exhaling slowly as she adjusted to its glare. She had about an hour before she needed to leave to meet Josie. Her back had been bothering her all day. Too much activity, and too little sleep. She did a few stretching exercises and then went into her bedroom to get the heating pad, the same one she’d used to warm up the kittens that first night. She plugged it in and stretched out flat on her bed, letting warmth seep into her body, soothing her sore spots. Eyes closed, she melted into the comforter beneath her.

  Twenty minutes later, she hauled herself upright before she fell asleep and stayed there all night. While it was tempting to do just that—to back out of their date and seal herself in the seclusion of her apartment—she needed this. She needed an entire night with Josie, time to fully explore the chemistry between them and get it out of her system.

  Heat rolled over her skin as she thought of the night ahead. Yes. God, she needed it.

  She went into the closet, pushing past the selection of dresses she wore to the office to the “night out” dresses she wore far less often. Even these were usually worn to client dinners and business events. In fact, it had been years since she’d gone on a real date, even longer since she’d felt anything like the anticipation humming through her veins as she pulled a slinky, plum-colored dress off its hanger and carried it to the bed.

  She dressed, brushed out her hair, freshened her makeup, and added a dab of perfume behind her ears. In deference to her back, she put on strappy black flats. And then, deciding she didn’t have patience for the subway right now, she called an Uber. Fifteen minutes later, she arrived at the restaurant.

  Josie stood just inside the entrance, wearing a snug black top with a shiny silver-and-purple pattern woven into the fabric and black pants that highlighted her curves. It was perfectly Josie’s style and also really, really hot.

  She looked up, breaking into one of those grins that brought out the dimples in her cheeks, stepping forward to lace her fingers through Eve’s as she drew her in for a quick kiss. “You look hot,” she whispered.

  “Funny. I was just thinking the same thing about you.”

  “You have the best clothes. Seriously.” Josie looked her up and down, gold flecks in her eyes dancing beneath the restaurant’s lighting.

  “It’s important to look the part for my job,” she said, then smiled. “And also, I like shopping.”

  “And you’re obviously good at it.” Josie gave her another kiss. “Ready?”

  Eve nodded, not objecting when Josie kept her fingers threaded with Eve’s as they walked to the hostess desk. They were seated at a small table along the wall. Eve pushed the drink menu in Josie’s direction. “This is your area of expertise
.”

  “What are you in the mood for tonight? Wine? Cocktails?” Josie picked it up, scanning the list.

  “Wine sounds good.”

  “Red?” Josie asked, glancing up.

  “Yes. Pick a bottle. Whatever you like.” Eve didn’t usually give her dates this much decision power, but she loved seeing Josie’s confidence and competence when it came to her job.

  “The Brandlin Estate Cabernet Sauvignon is really good. It’s rich but not too dry, just fruity enough to soften the flavor,” Josie said, an adorable wrinkle between her eyes as she looked over the menu.

  “Sounds perfect.”

  The waitress approached, and Josie ordered their wine, leaning back in her seat with a satisfied look on her face. “I’m so glad to be here tonight, you have no idea.”

  “Here, as in, not in the bar?” Eve asked, watching her closely.

  “Well, yes,” Josie said. “But I meant here, in this restaurant, with you.”

  “I’m glad too,” Eve admitted. Sometimes she forgot how nice it was to go out with someone whose company she genuinely enjoyed, to share a romantic meal, wine, conversation, and the anticipation of the night ahead.

  “I really needed this.” Josie reached out and squeezed her fingers. “I’ve been on so many bad dates lately, and this one is already a win, just because it’s with you.”

  Eve wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Luckily, the waitress saved her by arriving with their bottle of wine, pouring a taste for Josie to approve. Eve smiled slightly. Usually, she was the one who approved the bottle, the one in charge. Not tonight.

  Once the wine had been poured, Josie leaned forward, forearms on the table as she took a sip and settled her gaze on Eve. “So tell me, what do you do when you’re not working? Hobbies? Activities?”

  Eve swirled her wine, inhaling its rich scent before she took a sip. “Nothing terribly exciting. I try to make it to the gym a few times a week, and I do some yoga at home.”

  “Yeah, I can tell.” Josie dragged her gaze appreciatively over Eve’s body, filling her with a delicious warmth. “And what do you do for fun?”