Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Six

  Suella stayed overnight at the center. Months before, she had arranged for a private limousine to arrive at Toni’s door, seven a.m. sharp. The driver delivered her to the center by eight a.m. “Geez, you must have been doing a hundred,” Suella said as she handed him a hundred dollar bill.

  “We aim to please,” he said, smiling, as though the whole thing had been scripted in a big budget Hollywood movie. As Suella helped her out of the car, Toni gazed at the tall fences, the barbed wire, and the spare, austere buildings. “This doesn’t look like a hospital,” she said. “It looks more like a military base.”

  “I know,” Suella agreed. “Wait till you see the inside, though.”

  They would implant the embryo in a different suite. She felt refreshed and relieved that the offices for the implanting and birthing had been furnished and painted with much more warmth in mind, with pastels and soft edges. Toni had to wear a hospital gown. She emerged from the bathroom wearing it, and a sheepish, awkward expression on her face. Suella realized that, as an actress Toni had played a small part in a period drama and she’d also worn an elaborate contraption on her shoulder to help with special effects in a slasher movie (a mad chef with a meat clever literally split her head in half). However, she’d probably never worn a hospital gown in real life. When Dr. Allende and Dr, Polidore arrived, Suella felt that she would be witnessing a weird kind of a gynecological appointment.

  A couple of nurses lifted a fabric tent above Toni’s hips as she sat in stirrups. Suella stood behind her, placing a hand warmly atop her shoulder. When Dr. Pollidore entered the room, he carried a glass and steel instrument that looked like a giant hypodermic needle. He moved slowly, deliberately, and the nurses swayed away from him to give him more room. She learned that the little embryo that would hopefully become her child floated around in fluid at the bottom of the glass tip. The doctor positioned himself between the “y” formed by Toni’s suspended legs.

  As the doctor pressed forward with the glass and steel, Toni winced and tightened. She let out an agonized yelp as the cold steel and glass parted her cervix and probed her uterus. The doctors locked their concentration on a series of screen readouts and three dimensional screen images transmitting from the probe. A warm mechanical hum created a lulling sense of calm over all of them.

  Dr. Pollidore honed concentrated on the images, then the probe and also checked Toni, switching his gaze back and forth. After a while he nodded, a slight smile coming to his thin lips. “That should do it,” he said, relaxing and straightening.

  For a moment, Suella felt strangely empty. She knew she’d just witnessed the conception of her own child. With any luck at all, the embryo would take, Toni would carry to term, and her beautiful little daughter would be born. Still it all felt so strangely clinical, so robotic. “How do you feel, Toni?” she asked.

  Toni shrugged. “Glad to have that cold probe out of me.”

  Dr. Allende let out a short giggle, causing her to look even more youthful than normal. She also exhaled. “All we can do now is wait, and hope. The first twenty-four hours are the most critical.”

  “Would it be best if Toni lies absolutely still until we’re sure the embryo is going to take?” Suella asked.

  “That would probably be best,” the doctor replied.

  “Could we get a double room?” Suella asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Toni shoot her a slightly disdainful look.

  “I’ll be fine,” Toni said.

  “But I want to be there,” Suella countered. “We can contact the doctors right away if anything goes wrong. Also, if you’re going to lie motionless, it would be good for someone to keep you company.”

  Toni shrugged. “Okay,” she said. “Whatever creams your coffee.”

  They both checked into the room, which looked more like a high-priced suite at a resort than a room in a medical institution. Cheery drapes covered the windows and both beds sported polished wood footboards and headboards. Suella felt very motherly as she adjusted the left side of Toni’s bed so that it angled upward. Rather than get into pajamas and wedge herself between the sheets, Toni simply lay atop the bedspread. “I’m going to get us some lunch,” she said, after making sure the woman carrying her child was comfortable. She knew there had to be a cafeteria somewhere.

  Suella felt pleased and reassured when she discovered that the cafeteria featured many of the new synthetics. On the surface of it, she was fixing a turkey and dressing platter for Toni. Would she be able to tell the difference? The sliver of turkey that she tried on her plate tasted fine, especially with a dollop of gravy. She rounded out the dinner with sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce using the new sweetener Crystallette.

  Back at the room, both women sat and ate from their platters while the mid day news played on the screen across the room. Suella tried to casually observe Toni as she pecked at the folds of turkey and the small mound of mashed potatoes with “new gravy.”

  Her face took on an unpleasantly quizzical expression.

  “Is anything wrong?” Suella asked.

  Toni lifted a piece of turkey from the plate. Are these those new synthetics?”

  “Yes they are.”

  Toni smiled wryly. “It tastes like Styrofoam. Didn’t they have any real food there?”

  Suella indicated her plate. “This is real food.”

  Toni grinned weakly at her. “You know what I mean. Turkey that was like, raised on a farm and stuff.”

  “But this is so much better for you,” Suella said, munching on a couple of bites of turkey and gravy. “I think it’s great.”

  “Can’t I get real turkey?” Toni raised her plate from the platter.

  “I don’t know if they have it, to be honest,” Suella said, attempting to stall. “Besides, real turkey is filled with preservatives and antibiotics. You don’t want all of that stuff going into your system.”

  Toni shrugged, wistfully stabbing at a few shreds of the turkey. “No, I guess not.”

  Suella knew that as an actress, Toni had probably worked with some of the most famous people in Hollywood. She probably had so many stories about what went on when the cameras stopped rolling. It could have spiced up their time together to get her talking about her experiences in the business. Still, there was something else she wanted to know even more. It was best to approach the subject delicately, though. “So, exactly how long have you known Nathan?”

  She grinned, shaking her head. “We were in grade school together. My family lived about three streets away from his.”

  “Did you always know you wanted to be an actress?” Okay, Suella thought, it was a question more about Toni’s childhood than anything else.

  “Of course. We used to put on plays in the basement. My friends Mandy, Jennifer, and I.”

  “Was Nathan ever in any of the plays?”

  She smiled wryly, scrunching her eyebrows. “No.”

  “Did he ever come see the plays?”

  “No. He was always throwing baseballs against his pitch back.”

  Suella realized that she knew very little about Nathan’s boyhood. “His what?”

  “Pitch back. It was like a little trampoline, except it was standing on its side. There was a square in the middle. He would throw baseballs against it for hours. He used to brag he could hit the same spot fifty times in a row.”

  “Okay,” Suella said, not knowing what to think. For as long as she’d known him, he’d bragged about walking the fewest batters of any pitcher.

  Toni had control of the wand and she made the screen split and divide but stopped suddenly at a screen showing the movie “Saw 7.” She chuckled. “Have you ever seen one of these? I can’t believe the stuff they do in these movies.”

  “No, and I don’t think I want to start now! Could we watch something else?”

  Toni’s lip snarled and she tossed the wand in the air, over to Suell
a. “You pick something, then.”

  For the rest of that day and on into the night, they both watched television.

  “I’m so sleepy,” Toni said.

  “Go ahead and sleep,” Suella said, patting her gently on the arm. “It’d be the best thing.” Toni started to lift the covers and dip her legs into them, but Suella held her back. “What are you doing? I want to be able to see if anything goes wrong.”

  Toni gazed back at her incredulously. “What? You’re going to sit there and stare at my cooter all night? That’s not necessary. I’ll feel it if anything goes wrong, believe me.”

  “Please,” Suella said. “This is all so exciting for me. I want to make sure that if anything goes wrong, we can reach someone right away.”

  Toni smiled weakly, relenting. “Ok.” She sighed. “Can we at least just turn on the smaller light?” She motioned to the small lamp on the desktop. Suella did as she requested and sat up in bed while the woman carrying her child slept.

  At this moment, there was a tiny embryo of her growing in Toni’s uterus. She cried tears of joy as she sat up in bed. For the next several hours, she absently watched one movie after another. Here and there she would check on Toni, or more appropriately, Toni’s vagina.

  For hours she kept watch that same way, sitting still, like a sentry. For a while, she imagined that she was back in college, watching one of those crazy old art flicks. Her eyelids got heavy and her head lolled, her body trying to will her to sleep.

  About the time she thought the sun should start to rise, however, she saw something.

  A little trickle of blood appeared out of nowhere between Toni’s legs. At first she thought she was seeing things, as if a demon was playing a trick on her. She closed her eyes and opened them. Yes, it was still there. Still, to be absolutely sure, she reached over and touched the trickle. When she felt the warm slickness of it, she leaped back. “Oh my god!”

  Toni stirred and lifted upward. “What? What’s wrong?” Her eyes had sprung open.

  “You’re bleeding! Sit down! Stay calm!” Suella scrambled for the nearest phone. Toni looked down and saw the small red streak.

  Dr. Allende had stayed at the center for the night, to keep vigil for just a situation such as this. Her hair was still perfectly combed and though she had no makeup, she still seemed as glamorous as she did during the brilliant light of mid-day. Though they didn’t need to, they turned Toni’s bed into a gurney and wheeled her gingerly to one of the examination rooms. Suella was surprised over how smoothly the bed moved, as if it rested upon blades on the ice.

  The doctor immediately connected the ultrasound software and waved the paddles over Toni’s abdomen. A picture of neon colors flashed onto the screen. Dr. Allende smiled. “There,” she said, pointing to the image. “It’s still intact.”

  Suella had to squint and move closer to the screen to see anything. To her, it looked like a squashed plate of spaghetti. The doctor pointed to a small speck.

  Once Suella’s breathing returned to normal, the doctor spoke some more. “A slight discharge like this is normal,” she said.

  Just to be sure, Dr. Allende waved sensors over Toni, to check her heartbeat, blood pressure, and temperature. All normal. Suella shrugged. “Well, as long as I’m up, I might as well get dressed, right?”

  Suella drove them home. Both of them remained silent for much of the trip, while Suella’s MP3 collection played on the stereo. As they drove into the sunlight, she turned down the sound. “How do you feel about staying over?”

  Toni said. “You mean for tonight? I kind of had things I wanted to do at my apartment.”

  “Well, actually, I was thinking of having you at our house for the entire time.”

  Toni’s mouth dropped open. “No. No. I don’t think I’d be comfortable. Why do you want to do that?”

  “We would want to make sure that you’re comfortable, that you get the best nutrition, that someone’s around in case something happens.”

  Toni’s upper lip curved. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself. Besides, I’m on a lease. I’d lose money.”

  “You could sublet,” Suella countered. “Especially if you rented at sub-market.”

  Toni sighed. “I’d just feel much more comfortable at my own place. You can check up on me as much as I want. I promise I won’t get annoyed.”

  “Okay,” Suella said. “But I would like to be with you on all the OB visits.”

  “That’s fine. I think I’d want someone to drive me, anyway.”

  Reluctantly, Suella brought Toni back to her apartment and dropped her off. As Toni stepped away from the car, Suella rolled down her window and called her back. “Toni, could you come here?” When Toni stepped toward her in the driver’s seat, Suella continued. “Would you allow me to do something? It’s something you might find kind of silly.”

  “What?”

  “I want to say good bye to my daughter.” Suella opened her door and stepped out onto the pavement. She then dropped down to her knees and placed her head near Toni’s belly. “Now you have a pleasant night! I’ll see you soon! And I want you to know I love you.”

  Toni giggled, shaking her head.

  “I told you it was silly,” Suella said.

  Once she arrived home herself, she tried to catch up on some work she’d neglected over the past several day’s excitement. While she thought she would be too distracted to get anything done, on the contrary, the life developing in Toni’s uterus gave her a new impetus. She sat for hours conferring with clients, solving problems, and going the extra mile. By the time night fell, she decided that she needed a little break. While she could have listened to music or idly watched television, she decided to research pregnancy. She already knew that with an impending birth came myriad decisions. Natural childbirth or c-section? Should they use the Lamaze method? What type of vitamins should the mother take?

  One website listed the size of the fetus and the baby on a week by week basis. It gave recommendations for the mother’s weight and diet, as well. Suella bookmarked the site. She also watched several videos of delivery. Obviously, she would be there for the birth of her new daughter. It would probably be one of the greatest moments of her life.

  Something suddenly occurred to her. When Toni had agreed to carry the child for her, Suella had been so excited that she forgot about the important legal implications. What if, at this very moment, she was drinking a glass of wine and smoking a cigarette? And she didn’t know Toni well at all. Did she like to ski, or scuba dive?

  She decided that she was just being too much of a worrywart. Her phone rang, startling her. When she answered it, she heard Nathan’s excited, boyish voice. “How’s the new mom?”

  “I’m great! Where are you?”

  “At the airport.” As if to confirm this for him, several people sitting around him started talking and a voice sounded over an intercom. “How does it feel?”

  “Damn good, actually.” She described how the doctors implanted the embryo and detailed their scare from the night before, adding “It’s all going to work out just fine.”

  “Great. Are you coming east for the next series?”

  Suella suddenly remembered she had a whole other residence nearly a couple of thousand miles away, along with a husband who needed her. “Yes, I’ll be there,” she said, knowing even then how difficult it would be to tear herself away from her developing child. On the other hand, she could hardly wait to tell Julie, Kaitlyn, and all the other women. They would ask too many questions, however. How was she going to explain a brand new baby when she wasn’t (and never would be) pregnant? And then later, when it would become glaringly apparent that the child was going to look just like her. How could she say they’d adopted?

  The next day she visited her attorney, Lewis Rogansky. She’d always thought that with his solemn demeanor an
d kind face that he might have been better suited for a funeral director. “I’ve just gone ahead and done something really crazy,” she said, when she shook his soft hand as he stood at the threshold of his office. She carried thick stack of papers they’d given her at Lifewind. Lewis invited her to sit. When she’d situated herself, she set the stack of paperwork in front of him.

  “I see,” Lewis said, with his detached, formal air. “It’s nice to know there’s another one of us old school types out there. What is this?” He gently touched the first few sheets.

  Suella sighed. “I’ve had myself cloned.” She told him all about the process and how Toni was carrying the child to term. She had expected at least an eyebrow raise from Lewis, but he simply sat, nodding, as if they were discussing her estate.

  He skimmed over the pile of papers. “They’re covering themselves, that’s for sure.”

  Suella shrugged. “Aren’t you going to scold me for not consulting with you, first?”

  Lewis stopped reading and looked up at her. “It’s your life, Mrs. Worthy.”

  For the rest of their visit, she sat silently while he read over the stacks and stacks of briefs. “Now, I know the whole cloning thing isn’t really legal,” she said, “but is there any chance I could get in trouble for being a part of it?”

  Lewis leaned back in his retro, gleaming leather desk chair. He sighed, steepled his fingers on the desktop in front of him and glanced at the ceiling for a moment, to think. “The short answer? No, there isn’t. But did you know that there are massive hold-harmless clauses here?”

  Suella glanced down at the stack of papers. “Well, of course. They want to make sure I don’t sue them if there’s anything wrong with my child. Dr. Allende and I discussed that for hours once.”

  The attorney nodded and one side of his lip curled upward. “Did you know, though, that they can sue you?”

  “Why would they want to do that?”

  Lewis pointed to one of the pages. “You have to bring the child to their center once a year, every year. If you don’t they have the right to sue for breach.”

  Suella waved a hand at him dismissively. “They once a year visits. Yes, they want to make sure she’s growing and developing properly. How on earth could that possibly be a problem?”

  Lewis’ eyes widened. “The whole second part of the document opens the door should they decide to sue you.”

  Suella wondered what it could all mean. “Well, they want to make sure I don’t go around blabbing about my new clone baby, but why would I want to do that anyway?”

  “It might be a little more involved than that. You might want to ask them sometime.”

  Later that afternoon, when she was sessioning for her clients, she forgot all about the strange visit with her attorney. She spent the next week in a bittersweet funk. Toni, a woman she’d caught in bed with her husband a month before, was carrying her child. Life was strange.