Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Ten

  So went the next few months: Suella worked less, devoting most of her time to watching over Natalie. She was fast on the phone to the doctor if anything at all out of the ordinary occurred. Strange cough? She hit the number. Dribbling from her nose? She hit the number. Unexplained rash? She hit the number. Usually she stayed off-screen to place her calls. One day, though, she tapped her toe while the extension rang three, then four times.

  The line picked up. “Drs. Allende, Moore, and Gladstone, how can we help you today?” Shelley announced in a professional, chirpy voice.

  “Shelley, it’s Mrs. Worthy. Get me to Dr. Allende or one of the nurses, please.”

  She heard a sigh from the other end of the line. “Two of the nurses have already gone home for the day and Dr. A and Dr. Glad are seeing patients.”

  “Anybody. Somebody. Just get me somebody.”

  “Okay. Can I put you on hold?”

  Suella reacted quickly. If she let one of the office girls put her on hold she might languish there for fifteen minutes or more. “No! No! Shelley! Just get me somebody. I’ll be right on the line. I don’t care which nurse it is. Just somebody. Quickly.”

  “Okay, okay,” Shelley said, starting to show an annoyed tone. “Geez. What’s your baby dying of today anyway?”

  Suella double-taked, unsure of what, exactly, she just heard. She took in a deep breath, to buy her a couple of extra seconds to decide what to say and what to do. “Shelley I think you better put a doctor or nurse on this line, now or your office manager is going to hear all about that rude comment you just made. Do I make myself clear?”

  Shelley groaned from the other end of the line. “Mrs. Worthy I’m sorry I said that. I’m going to get you somebody right away. Now I need to put the phone down. You won’t be put on hold.”

  Suella couldn’t believe that someone who worked in a pediatrician’s office could be so rude. True, she might have to deal with desperate or even irate parents all day, but was that an excuse to take it out on her, when she was being so cordial? And she gave them the courtesy of going off-screen, which usually made things more convenient. What was going wrong with the world, anyway?

  She listened closely to the goings-on in the background at the doctor’s office. Mostly it was low voices and occasional rustling, like someone shuffling papers or files. Finally, a few clicks and clunks told her that someone was coming to the phone. Another voice, younger and chirpier than Shelley’s came onto the line. “Hi Mrs. Worthy, this is Tiffany. How can I help you today?”

  “Tiffany, are you a nurse?”

  She paused for a few seconds before responding. “I’m an MDA.”

  Medical assistant. She was no more than a glorified bedpan changer and temperature taker. “I thought I made myself clear to Shelley that I wanted to speak with either a doctor or a nurse?”

  Tiffany backpedaled. “Well I’m sorry, ma’am, but the doctors are seeing patients and all the nurses were occupied, too. Shelley handed the phone to me because she felt you needed to speak to someone quickly.”

  Suella gritted her teeth. She couldn’t talk snappy to a girl who was so nice.

  “I appreciate it, Tiffany, I really do. Now could you do something for me? Could you have Dr. Allende call me please, when she has a moment?”

  “Certainly.”

  “I appreciate it very much.” Suella snapped the button, terminating the call. To get her mind off the fiasco, she dove into her work. At the same time she kept an eye on Natalie, who crawled around in the playpen, happily playing with her plush animals and plastic pull toys.

  Hours passed while Suella time flew as she caught up on old business and correspondence. When the call, came, someone had selected the onscreen option. She splashed some water on her face and ran a brush through her hair before answering. To get the best reception, she scooped up Natalie and took the call in the living room. Dr. Allende’s smooth face filled the screen. “Hello Suella,” she said, seemingly strained.

  “Hello doctor. I appreciate your call.”

  The doctor smiled, nodded cordially, closing her eyes for just a moment. “Tiffany said you had a matter with Natalie that you needed help with?”

  Suella felt embarrassed as she suddenly forgot the original reason she’d picked up the phone earlier that afternoon. She scrambled to make up something. “Well, her rash came back. I was a little concerned.”

  In even tones, and with a blasé expression, Dr. Allende asked. “Her rash on her bottom?”

  “No. It’s on her…her arms.”

  “Can you show me?”

  Suella wondered if the resolution on her player would be good enough.

  There’d been a recent upgrade, but she hadn’t checked it yet. It was all moot, though, since Natalie’s arms were clear. Still, Suella held her up to the camera, angling her so that the doctor could see both arms.

  Dr Allende narrowed her eyes, appearing to examine her screen closely. “I see clear skin, Suella. On both of her arms.”

  Suella bowed her head. “It was worse before, doctor.”

  Dr. Allende exhaled, and on the monitor, Suella could see the small woman’s chest rise and fall. “Suella, we need to discuss something. Your child is fine. She’s been very healthy and every time we’ve examined her we’ve found her to be a normally developing little girl. Now, since baby’s immune systems continually develop and mature, they’re more sensitive to things sometimes. A few dust particles in the air can trigger a nasal discharge. Changes in the temperature can cause slight flushing that might look like a rash. And children do cough.”

  The doctor was speaking in slow, measured tones, causing Suella to finally realize something. “You’re saying I need to chill, and not grab for the phone so much.”

  “I’m saying your daughter’s a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl. Sometimes it might be best to let her be.”

  “I gotcha.” Suella smoothed her hair back. “I’m sorry I snapped at one of your office girls earlier.”

  “That’s fine.” After a few more pleasantries, the doctor and the mother ended their telephone conversation.

  The next month brought the holidays, and while Suella gleefully decorated the whole house with lights and tinsel. On a Saturday, one of Nathan’s non-baseball friends arrived with a pickup truck to help them get the biggest and fullest tree that would fit in their living room. She knew Natalie was still too little to properly appreciate it, but there would be pictures, lots of pictures. She could cherish them for the rest of her life.

  Suella also wanted to remember Toni, who had provided her with the greatest gift she could ever receive. Curiously, though, she’d only been over to see Natalie twice. When Toni looked at Natalie, Suella could see an entire range of emotions flit on her face, from joy, to pride, to awe, but then her lower lip would start to quiver. The second time, Suella thought she’d seen Toni’s eyes moisten. Words caught in Toni’s throat when she excused herself, suddenly remembering that she had to meet with her agent that afternoon. When Suella would find herself alone in the house again, she tried to imagine what it would be like to give up a child to who she had given birth. She wouldn’t be able to do it.

  After the holidays, the next big event was Natalie’s first birthday. Suella would throw a huge party, which would coincide with the opening of the baseball season.

  She would invite her new friends from the luxury box in San Diego, a few of the friends she had locally, especially Carolyn, and even young kids and young mothers from around the neighborhood. She’d gotten to know a few of them when she would ride her bicycle or take Natalie to the park in her stroller.

  The one-year birthday also marked the first major checkup at the center, as they’d outlined in the ream of paperwork the year before. Suella scheduled the appointment for the first week in May, which would give her plenty of time to devise a lis
t of questions. One fact had begun to gnaw at her: why was Natalie not walking or talking yet? Most babies she’d ever seen at least made gurgling, guttural sounds like “goo goo ga ga,” but Natalie remained strangely silent. Also, infants approaching their first year usually stood up in the crib or the playpen, holding onto the bars for support. If Natalie had ever done this, Suella had never seen it. Her little daughter seemed perfectly content to sit for hours in her playpen, playing with her toys.

  At times, she would set Natalie in the middle of the carpet, away from the distractions of her crib or playpen, to see if Natalie would try to stand or walk. All she did was teeter from side to side or crawl, however. She would also try to get Natalie to talk, to mimic her, saying the word “Mama” over and over again to see if Natalie would repeat it. When Nathan was home, she also pointed to him and said the word “Da Da,” to see if Natalie would repeat this. She would just sit, head tilted, with a look of slight confusion in her eyes, as if she was thinking “Mom, why are you talking to me like I’m an idiot?”

  She knew she’d worn out her welcome at the doctor’s office, and only called there for official things or if Natalie ran a fever higher than 101 (it happened once).

  One day in the park, with the other mothers, she casually announced “I’m a little worried that Nat has yet to walk or talk.”

  None of them batted an eye. A tall redhead named Summer said “My first said nothing until he was almost two years old. Now you can’t get him to shut up.”

  Natalie’s first birthday arrived, and Suella went ahead with the major party as she planned. Her whole house was filled with mirth and gaiety, with little boys and girls from around the neighborhood and their parents. For the little kids inside a clown sang and danced while Nathan recorded everything, juking and bouncing about for the best angles. The bigger kids outside got to participate in a piñata party presided over by one of the Mexican women in the neighborhood. Throughout the day, Natalie sat in her mother or father’s lap, taking everything in with wide-eyed wonder.

  Not once during the whole day did anyone approach Suella and say “Gee, she’s a year old. Shouldn’t she be walking and talking?” Maybe it was normal, after all, maybe some kids are reserved, or maybe, just maybe, Natalie was waiting until she could get a better vocabulary together before she tried to speak.

  Even Toni showed up for the event. How could she not? At first, she kept to herself, clearly uncomfortable at a kid’s party, where nothing stronger than coca cola was served. Suella looked after her and tried to make her feel welcome by introducing her to the mothers from around the neighborhood. A pleasantly round honey colored woman from around the corner kept staring at Toni for some reason, though finally, she spoke. “Hey, I know where I’ve seen you before. You’re an actress, right? Weren’t you in ‘Suburban Daredevil’?”

  Toni sat still and grinned. Her eyes became slits as she smiled more widely.

  The woman from around the corner and everyone else in the room said “Yes, that’s it!”

  Toni’s face flushed in an endearing, self-deprecating way. “Yes, that was me.”

  By now the honey colored woman was shaking her head, still looking at Toni. “You’re even prettier in person. And you got to kiss Den Rivers, how cool is that?”

  For awhile after that, the ladies all conversed about Hollywood and the movies and it made Suella glad to see Toni so happy and animated. As all good things do, though, Suella’s party came to an end. One by one the guests picked up their party favors and left through the front door, with lots of hugs and well wishes along the way. When everyone was gone, Suella held Natalie and walked her through the house. “All those people came to see you, on your first birthday,” and when she walked into the living room, she added “And it looks like a hurricane hit our house.

  At the beginning of May she drove out to the center, a route she could have followed blindfolded. Along the way Natalie lifted up her head and gazed at the scenery whizzing past them out the car windows: mountains, cacti, and sagebrush. Other cars would occasionally pass them and the occupants inside, when they would see the darling little baby girl, would smile and wave.

  When they arrived at the center, the nurses who had been present the year before, at the birth, all clamored around Suella and Natalie. “Oh, she got so big,” one of them gushed. Another said “She’s so beautiful.”

  Dr. Allende smiled widely when she greeted them in the lobby. When the doctor smiled, she transformed into a warm, delicate, inwardly beautiful woman. She seemed to have forgotten all about the strife Suella had put her office through. “Well, Natalie looks completely healthy and normal. She’s beautiful. Do you have any concerns?”

  Suella held Natalie a little bit closer to her. “She still isn’t speaking or walking yet. That concerns me a bit, I must say.”

  The doctor waved a hand dismissively, her features still pleasant. “That’s completely normal. Before long she’ll be talking your ear off.”

  Maybe so. Suella reluctantly handed Natalie over to a nurse who took her back for the tests. Over and over again Suella had pleaded to be present in the room while the doctors poked and prodded her daughter, but she’d been refused every time. Instead, Suella was forced to stay in a waiting room to try to pass the time by reading magazines or surfing screens. The anxiety of what the doctors might be doing to her little girl tore at her. What if something hurt her and she cried out? Wouldn’t she want her mother there?

  As the time wore on, Suella became increasingly aware of a tan skinned and dark-haired woman wearing a ponytail, sitting in the lobby across from her. She had dressed herself smartly in a violet dress with stylish high-heeled shoes but had not picked up any magazine to read and did not seem interested in any news or entertainment swaths. A few different times, Suella looked up and discovered the woman looking directly back at her. She was going to ask what the woman wanted, but suddenly she spoke. “It’s your first time, right?”

  “Um, no, I’ve been here before. Many times.”

  She spoke with sharp enunciation and what sounded like an island dialect. “I mean it’s your first annual, right?”

  “Annual?”

  “The long checkup that the doctors do every year. It’s your first one, isn’t it?”

  Suella nodded, sure of where the woman was coming from by now. “Yes, it is.”

  “It gets easier, believe me. By the way, my name’s Claudette.” She casually lifted herself from her chair and gracefully side stepped to one beside Suella.

  Suella introduced herself and then added “Then you…”

  Claudette chuckled for a moment, flashing a friendly smile. “Yes, my son was four years old this past month. He already looks just like his daddy.”

  “Then you…”

  “Yes, we did.” She smiled proudly, as if she was talking about straight A’s.

  “My daughter is going to look just like me.”

  Claudette smiled even wider, showing two rows of perfect, white teeth. “That’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you.”

  Suella leaned forward and Claudette followed, leaning in close to her. “Listen, I don’t know any other way to broach this. Could we get in trouble for sitting here and talking like this?”

  Claudette waved a hand dismissively. “No honey, they aren’t going to give a wink about that.”

  “Well, in the contract it says that the parents aren’t supposed to fraternize with other parents. You know.”

  Claudette wrinkled her nose. “Do you think I’m going to let a piece of paper keep me from speaking to whom I want to speak to?”

  . Suella noticed that a couple of nurses had already passed and were smiling at them pleasantly. How would they be able to keep the parents from talking to each other? It was impossible. “Can I ask you something? Does your boy walk and talk yet?”

  Claudette had been leaning in to listen to her closely, but
suddenly reared back and started laughing loud guffaws. “He runs like he wants to be in the Olympics and talks and talks like he wants to be the next president.”

  Suella decided to hold back the details of her fears about Natalie’s development and her permanent health status. “I just love her so much,” she said. “I want her to be happy. I want to be the best mother I possibly can.”

  Claudette tilted her head and cooed. “Then your daughter is so lucky.”

  A nurse suddenly appeared behind them. “Mrs. Worthy?”

  Suella turned around in the direction of the young woman’s voice. “Yes?”

  One of the doctors wanted me to come get you. Could you follow me, please?”

  The nurse’s demeanor was calm and cordial. As they walked away, Suella looked back at Claudette, who simply shrugged. She followed the nurse down a long, marble corridor. “I hope everything’s going okay,” she said.

  “Yes, I’m sure it is.” They stopped at a door, which the sturdily built nurse pushed open. They entered what appeared to be a laboratory, with several back rooms attached. Dr. Allende appeared from around one of the doorways.

  “Back here Suella,” she called out to them. They walked into an examination room where Natalie lay on a soft table, looking like a small, delicate doll.

  “Something just happened.” Dr. Allende was smiling as she indicated Natalie, laying on the table with electronic sensors attached to various points on her legs and chest.

  When Natalie turned her little head and saw Suella, she murmured “Mama!” and raised her arms toward her.

  Electric lines ran from sensors on her arms, too. Suella glanced at the doctor and the nurse, standing in the doorway. “It’s okay,” Dr. Allende said.

  Suella leaned over her precious little girl. “It’s okay, buttercup, I’m here.”

  “Mama,” Natalie said again.

  Suella leaned down and held her tightly, rocking her back and forth as tears of joy trickled from her eyes. She realized she should let go so. The doctor and nurse needed to continue their work. As she stood, she saw both Dr. Allende and the nurse dabbing at their eyes.