The Hummingbird:Feet On The Ground
Page 4
about having comforts and as many as I wanted. Oh my Gods, dying really seemed like it make me feel oh so very alive. I thought beyond my reward though and did find there were some things I couldn’t explain. Seeing brief flashes that allow me to know what’s about to happen, being able to feel when spirits were around, and of course the fact that yes I do a lot of stupid things like rushing those hunters. In truth I was trying to kill myself. To part myself from this ruined world and be placed into one where everything completely makes sense. Yet I was looking for some loophole, a way to kill myself where it didn’t count in the eyes of St. Peter, Charon, or Anubis or whoever shall be my judge as a suicide which would lead me into eternal damnation. I knew there had to be loopholes, afterall I couldn’t honestly picture God telling Robin Williams or Leelah Alcorn that they were going to go straight to hell, there was also that girl the Vatican canonized into sainthood for killing herself to avoid being raped as she had promised her virginity to Jesus. It was then that my thoughts had concluded and I knew how to answer Clark.
“Clark… I keep lacking judgement in my actions, but it keeps not getting me killed or harmed. My body decay was from the plague and the plague alone. Nothing I’ve lost so far has been from an accident or my carelessness. In fact a lot of the times it seems to help, like when I accidentally threw the machete and killed two hunters. You yourself even commented on the impossibility of it. Events such as that prove that there is someone omnipotent who shapes our world, someone who knows our eventual fates and what they are meant to be, and they don’t want me dead yet for some reason.” I said, smiling, confident that that was the right answer.
“Or you’ve got a lot of luck and one day, it’ll run out, and mark my words when it does you will not be greeted by any spirits nor will there be any light to go into.” Clark stretched yawning. “I need sleep, tomorrow I’ll go get my things and bring them here. Good night Michelle.”
“Nini Clark.” I called back.
The next two days the rain had been rather heavy followed by the sounds of rioting when it finally stopped, neither of us felt safe leaving the house, we gave it an additional two before he finally left the house to get his things. He left me behind to watch our house not wanting it to get looted, so I stayed awake patrolling the area with my machete drawn. It had started to get late with no sign of him so I had left the light on. After a couple of hours I began to get worried. I wanted to look for him but I had grown tired. I hadn’t eaten as I was hoping he’d cook dinner and I must have done laps around my house all day. Though it didn’t sit well with me in my heart I knew that if I went outside hungry and tired this late at night I’d likely hurt myself. Perhaps he decided to stay the night at his house because the clouds looked too bad. The rains were constant and merciless so I couldn’t blame him. I yawned and got back into my house, if he wasn’t back in the morning I’d get Isaac to help me look. Not Piet or Raven though, Raven was blind and Piet really couldn’t leave Raven’s side because of it. Hopefully he’d be back by morning.
I had slept not through the night when I heard a tapping at my door, I opened it thinking it was Clark and found it was a man I didn’t even know who was about ten years my elder. I noticed I had left my light on and he must have shown up thinking I had shelter, I’m damn lucky he seemed to be limping and rather sick, as a result I didn’t think he’d loot me. I turned the front light off and asked him if he needed anything. “Most of my food has to be prepared, but, I do know some basic first aid.”
“Well, I’m saved… and by such a cutie. Ma’am does anyone else live with you?” The man paused rubbing his hands together as he thought. “I… I’d hate to be a burden on you if.. if you have other survivors that you need to take care of I’m sure I’d just.. slow things down.”
“Nonsense, I only have one other person living here and I haven’t seen him all night. He might be back soon though… at least… I hope he is back soon.” I replied.
“So you’re alone here?” He said, I could have sworn he was smiling.
“For the time being….” I said, my genre-savvy nature said this was the part that I played the farmer and the person I was helping played the viper, but perhaps I had simply been reading too many fantasy stories. I looked him over one more time, he did seem to be in pain so I lead him into the house. “Help yourself to anything you know how to prepare.”
“Oh I will!” He said, now THAT sounded incriminating, so I turned around and to my surprise he was already in the middle of throwing me against the wall bruising my head.
“Don’t kill me!” I said instinctively, but why? I want to die, I crave it, perhaps it was my instinct. I may want to die, but my body doesn’t want to. Still that part of me did come from when I added. “...I mean… not too painfully…. I.. I don’t have much to live for.”
“I don’t want your life, I want your pussy!” He responded, forcing his tongue into my mouth. Why I had left my machete in my bedroom when I answered the door I’m not sure and to this day I’ll never understand. I tried pushing him off but neither my left nor my dominant arm could repeal my attacker as he held my by the neck against the wall after the kiss. I kicked at him, but it didn’t stop him from removing my pants.
I was afraid of him seeing down there. I know his type, people get horrible during survival situations and this wasn’t the first time someone’s tried to rape me. I knew that the second he saw that my genitals were out of line with the rest of my body he’d begin to torture me and claim that I lead him on. I was prepared for the worst, I wanted to scream but all that came out were the sounds of myself choking.
“Metal legs, a shame, I like feet. Though… What’s this?” He asked, cupping one of those dangling things I had grown to hate. To think, when I first want them removed my mother said I’d never want to part with them after I learned what they were for. Mom was clearly wrong. What I hated more than him touching one of those, those things was the fact that he squeezed hard as if to make sure it was there. “You look like a girl…” he groped one of my breasts next. “These are definitely real, but, you’re packing.”
“Transg...en...der… Doctors… died off.. before removing….” he loosened his grip, I answered him truthfully. Begging him to stop wouldn’t have worked, men don’t rape, honorless psychopaths do they know it’s wrong but the thing is that they don’t give a damn. “Disgusting… thing….”
“Ah, well that’s a pity for both of us, but we have… other options.” He chuckled to himself and turned me over, pulling my panties down as he slapped my backside. “This is definitely a girl’s rear end. See, you’re a real lady after all.”
Did this nutjob go around to every house pretending to be hurt just to rape anyone who was inside? That was quite the disturbing thought to think that I was just another victim. He forced me down by grabbing my right arm and holding it down against the back of my head. He squeezed one of my tumors really hard which hurt like hell, I nearly wanted to cry. He was fiddling with his belt buckle when suddenly the door slammed open. That’s when I heard a loud thud and things went black.
When I came too I felt a cold chill, I had no idea where I was and I saw a strange light emanating. I focused on it as I heard a voice call out. “It’s going to be fine Michelle, have a rest, you’ve earned it. You’re okay now, you’re not going to be hurt further.”
I smiled, here I was, the afterlife. I was right and Clark was wrong. I hoped he had died too so I could rub it in his face that I was right, tonight was my night. I was dead and a free woman. I quickly had a look at the goods to see what my eternal heavenly body looked like and found that much to my surprise they were, exactly the same as when I’d been alive. Had I been punked? My legs were still metal too, and my arm was just as tumorous as ever though it seemed as though one of the tumors popped, it appeared the blood and pus had been cleaned up. Perhaps that would help me keep my arm for a little bit longer. “God I heard your voice, tell me, why has the afterlife not changed my body. I tire of living like this!”
“Not yet I’m afraid.” Spoke the voice of Isaac with a chuckle. “You’re very much alive Michelle, just a little delirious from the painkillers.”
I took another look around and found that I was in Isaac’s basement. I remember this place, back before the apocalypse I had visited him a few times. I still remember the first time I came and we all watched Arsenic & Old Lace, man the black and white era knew how to make you laugh. Oh Raven was there back in that day, she could still see then. I can barely remember the color of her blue eyes. Piet had actually stood as he watched the movie not taking a seat for any portion of it, the irony of that being that later in life he loses part of his spine and not even my metal legs could help him walk. Those two were hurt much harder than the rest of us if I do say so myself. “...How… HOW!?!?!”
“I saved you, Clark had been injured and mugged on his way back to your house. He showed up at mine and wanted me to tell you where he was so you wouldn’t worry. I didn’t until after Kelly and myself made sure his