There's Trouble: A Friends to Lovers Romance

by Nadine Hudson

  I feel like she has had my head spinning all week. The pleading eyes, the mood swings, the way she lashes out at me, the moment we had in her kitchen, the recklessness, her pushing me away, but then wanting me close. I know something is going on with her and I wish she would just talk to me. I want to still be mad at her for the way she acted last night but the truth is, I can’t. I can’t be mad at her knowing she’s obviously going through something. I just wish I knew what it was.

  I sit along the river with Bruno in silence for a while.We play more fetch. I throw more rocks. It’s peaceful. This is exactly what I needed. I turned my phone to silent before getting out of my truck but I feel it buzzing on my leg. I lean back on the log and pull it out of my pocket.

  1 Message-Brooke

  I inhale and exhale sharply. Then start to read.

  Hey Conner. I heard about the Captain job. Wanna talk about it? I’ll make you dinner.

  I smile at the screen. She knows the quickest way to my heart is through my stomach and we do need to talk. This might be the perfect time to finally figure out what the hell is going through her head.

  You know me too well. I’m at the river with Bruno right now but we were about to leave. Can I stop and get you anything from the store? I don’t have cookable food at my house.

  Just a few jars of marinara sauce please. I’ll meet you at your place.

  Sounds good.

  She seems more like her old self, but with her random mood swings lately it’s hard to tell, especially through text. My stomach starts to growl at the thought of her cooking dinner and I realize I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I’m suddenly eager to get home. I get Bruno back on his leash and into the truck and head to the store.

  ****

  Brooke

  I pull into Conner’s driveway and see all the lights out. He must not be home yet. I grab my bag of ingredients that I brought from my house, climb out of my car, and head for the front door. Lifting the mat, I find his spare key underneath and open the door. I turn on all the lights and get started.

  It doesn’t take long before I have water boiling, burger cooking, and garlic bread baking. I’m in my element. This is where I love to be. I pull out my phone and set my playlist to randomize. Moments later a song starts playing and I almost change it. I pause for a moment in shock of how perfectly it fits my life. Instead of turning it off I pick up my phone and turn the volume all the way up then start singing loudly to Go West’s, King of Wishful Thinking. I bounce back and forth between the two burners I have on. Stirring here. Tasting there. Singing and dancing in between.

  I complete an awkward spin and almost lose my balance but I don’t stop. I keep singing loudly with the song and move my hips somewhat with the beat. “And I’ll tell myself, I’m over you. Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking...”

  I hate dancing in public. It makes me feel so self-conscious. Like everyone is watching and judging. But when I’m all by myself one of my favorite things to do is blar the music and dance around like a fool. It’s so invigorating and refreshing. It’s also helping me shake out my jitters before Conner gets here.

  I continue my private dance party as the next song on my playlist comes through the speakers. Suddenly, I hear a chuckle from behind me. I turn quickly to find Conner leaning against the door frame with his arms across his chest. His head is cocked and he has a huge smirk on his face. I notice that he hasn’t shaved and he now has scruff starting to grow in. He looks so damn sexy.

  Busted. I freeze. My heart starts pounding so hard that I fear for a second he can hear it.

  “Uh, hey! I didn’t hear you come in,” I say, smoothing my clothing and tucking a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

  “I know. I didn’t want you to hear me come in,” he responds, humor in his voice. “Please. Don’t stop on my account.” His smile grows wider.

  “How long were you standing there exactly?” I narrow my eyes at him.

  “Long enough to see you got moves like Jagger.” He smiles again and steps into the room, sitting a grocery bag on his table.

  Well at least he seems to be in a better mood. I let his jab slide and go to the bag on the table. As I pass him my nose fills with his scent. It’s more woodsy than apple this time but just as intoxicating. I shake the thought from my head immediately. Keep it in check, Brooke. Bruno jumps up putting his enormous paws on the table and interrupts my thoughts.

  “Hey Bruno! How you doing, Buddy?” I ask in a playful voice, rubbing his neck. “You want a treat? Do you? Do you want a treat?”

  I pull his treats from the cupboard and toss one to him. He snatches it from the air. I look up at Conner and he’s standing by the stove staring at me with a smile that makes my knees want to give out. How can he possibly do this to me with just a look? I feel heat rush over my body and a tingle travels up my spine. Clearing my throat, I tell him dinner is soon ready. I grab the sauce from the table, add it to the meat, and stir them together while Conner sets the table. Just his presence disarms my best defenses and I start to feel less confident about my ability to control my thoughts.

  I hear him digging through his silverware drawer behind me and I squeeze my eyes closed. This is harder than I thought it would be. I thought after hitting a point as low as I did last night it would be a wake up call. One that I would remember for a while. A lesson of where I will end up again if I don’t learn to control myself around him and just be his friend.

  The task is proving to be more complicated than I anticipated. I underestimated his effects on me and my self-control. My heart continues to pound as my nerves seem to be acting up worse now than they ever have before. I realize as I’m stirring the sauce that my hand starts to shake. What the hell is wrong with me? I clink the spoon on the edge of the pan and set it down on the counter.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say quickly as I leave the room without looking back and head for his bathroom. I close the door behind me and splash water from the sink on my face. I can feel my nerves trying to pull tears from my eyes. I stare back at myself in the mirror refusing to let them fall.

  “You cannot continue to cry over him,” I say quietly, coaching my reflection. “You came here to be his friend. To help him through a hard time. You owe him that much. You can do this.”

  I take a few deep breaths and calm myself down before returning to the kitchen. Conner already has our plates of spaghetti scooped out and he’s sitting patiently at the table with a smile waiting for me.

  “You good?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah, just still not feeling all that great after last night,” I tell him, glancing in his direction. I try to judge his reaction as I sit at the table. I watch his body tense at my words and he takes a sharp breath in.

  “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.”

  “I’m really sorry, Conner,” I say, cutting him off, my speech rapid. “I don’t know what came over me. I think I just had way too much to drink.”

  I peek up at him again and he’s eyeing me curiously. Please just let it go. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it together.

  “Brooke, I’ve never seen you like that before and to tell you the truth, it seems like you’ve been acting strangely for a while.”

  That’s because I’m desperately in love with you and I’ve just been struggling to hide it lately. I look down at the food on my plate and suddenly don’t feel hungry anymore. I want to tell him so badly how I feel but my fear keeps my secret locked inside. My vision starts to blur as the tears begin piling up in my eyes again and I try to focus on forcing them down. But then Conner takes me by the chin and tilts my face up to his and I feel my bottom lip begin to quiver. Please don’t, Conner. But it’s too late. His touch unleashes the pool of tears that I was desperately trying to hold back.

  “Jesus, Brooke,” he says before standing and wrapping me in his arms. “You’re scaring the hell out of me. I know something’s going on with you. I just wish you would tell me what it is. Whateve
r it is, we can fix it. I’ll help you. You know that.”

  Why are you so good to me? I may not be able to keep my tears back but I will keep my secret. I can’t tell him. I want to. Desperately. But I can’t. I feel him squeeze me tighter and I suddenly feel embarrassed. This is the second time in a week that I’ve had an emotional breakdown in front of him. Reluctantly, I pull away from his grip.

  “I’m sorry. I guess I’m just still emotional from last night. I feel terrible for the way I acted,” I tell him between sniffles.

  His deep blue eyes find mine and I get lost in them.

  “Brooke, I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that I’m not upset about it or that it was okay because it wasn’t. I almost put Mitch through a damn wall because of you. And if Marcy hadn’t called me…” he trailed off and I watched his hands ball into fists as he looked away from me. He’s so sexy when he’s angry.

  “Mitch would have taken advantage of you again,” he finally finished.

  “What do you mean again? You knew about me and Mitch?” I ask surprised.

  “Of course I knew, Brooke. He was just as big of a sleazeball back then as he is now. He bragged about it to everyone at football.”

  He did? I feel heat wash over me as the now familiar feeling of embarrassment sets in yet again.

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you knew?”

  “Because I never wanted to see the look on your face that you’ve got right now. That look of embarrassment. You didn’t do anything wrong back then and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed because of some asshole. I took care of it.”

  My eyes flash to his. He took care of it? I suddenly knew exactly what he meant. I remember seeing Mitch the first week of school with fresh bruises on his face but everyone said it was from football. I never thought anything of it.

  “I never asked you to do that, Conner.”

  “You’d never have to, Brooke.”

  His answer catches me off guard and I shift in my seat. He sits back down suddenly looking exhausted and slightly frustrated. Like this is information I should have already known. And maybe I should have. This is my Conner. This is what he does. What he’s always done…and now I know why.

  I sit there in silence as all the dots start connecting in my mind. This is the reason he has been so protective of me all these years. One stupid mistake with Mitch has molded our friendship into what it is today. I can’t help but smirk at the irony.

  “So, who told you about the Captain position?” Conner asks quietly as if he’s trying to change the subject. I welcome his attempt and let out a sigh of relief.

  “Chief made the announcement after you stormed out. You okay?”

  “I will be. I’m not too thrilled about meeting this new hot shot but it doesn't look like I’ve got much of a choice since he starts tomorrow, huh?”

  I nod my head in agreement and watch as he takes his first bite of his spaghetti.

  “Yeah, Chief Joe asked me to prepare a welcome lunch or dinner or something for him for tomorrow.”

  “You should make spaghetti,” he suggests, his mouth still full.

  I laugh.

  “Is it good?” I ask as I sit up and spin myself a bite on my fork.

  “It’s awesome.”

  I laugh.

  “Well, I was thinking about making my bar-b-que,” I say, smiling at him knowing it’s one of his favorites.

  “I’m listening,” he answers between bites.

  “But, if I make my bar-b-que I’m going to need some help tomorrow. I’ll need you to be there early.”

  “You got it,” he answers with a wink.

  For the first time all night, I feel in control. I can do this. I can be the friend he needs. The thought makes me smile and feel empowered.

  “You sure you’re okay though? There isn’t anything you want to talk about?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” I answer, bobbing my head gently.

  He gives me a slight grin and a nod then continues eating his food. I’m not sure if he believed me but I’m glad he’s not going to press the issue. If he had I might have spiraled into another meltdown or worse...I might have told him how I really feel about him. The thought is unsettling. No. I can never let him push me to that point.

  Three

  Conner

  My alarm starts pinging at five o’clock. I yawn but climb right out of bed. I feel better since talking with Brooke last night. Lighter even. Like things between us may finally be resolved and can get back to normal. I head to my dresser, slip on a pair of mesh running shorts from my drawer, and start down the hallway to brush my teeth. I check my reflection in the mirror. Yikes. With everything going on the last few days I must have forgotten to shave. I rub my hand over the scruff covering my face and neck turning my head from side to side. Hmm. Maybe I should keep it.

  I start out to the kitchen, slip Bruno’s leash on, and head out the door to go for a run around the neighborhood. Bruno and I finish our five mile run around and get back to the house forty minutes later. The day is already starting to get hot. I wipe my brow with my arm, grab a bottle of water from the fridge, and gulp it down. I clean up my beard, grab a quick shower, change into shorts and a t-shirt, fix my hair up, and head out the door. I promised Brooke I would get to the station early to help her set up.

  I pull in and see her car already in the lot. I get inside and the smell of Brooke’s cooking fills my nose. I follow the scent into the upstairs room where she has several white folding tables lined up against the wall. She’s standing at the counter fussing with six large crock pots. I notice she has let her hair down again. That’s not something that happens often but I always notice when she does. Her mounds of blonde curls are hard to miss.

  “No song and dance today?” I muse to her.

  “No time today.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask amused, “It’s like six-thirty in the morning. You have plenty of time.”

  “No, I don’t. I need to get the room set up. I need to get my ingredients chopped, my burger cooking. There’s so much to do,” she answers, sounding overwhelmed.

  I take her by the shoulders and make her look at me.

  “I’m here. What do you need me to do?”

  She rubs her forehead with her hand and looks around the room.

  “Can you move this furniture out of the way so we have room to set up the tables over here,” she explains as she motions her plans for the room.

  “Done.”

  I make short work of setting up the room and after a few final revisions at Brooke’s request it seems to be to her liking. She started cooking the burger while I set up and the smell makes my stomach grumble. I wish I would have eaten breakfast this morning.

  “How’s it going over here?” I ask as I sneak up behind her with a spoon. I must have startled her because I heard her inhale sharply as I spoke.

  “Fine,” she answers.

  I try to dunk the spoon into her pan of homemade bar-b-que sauce but she catches my hand before I can reach it.

  “That’s not ready yet,” she says without looking at me.

  I laugh.

  “I don’t care. It smells so good and I’m starving. Please just a little taste?”

  “You can taste it when it’s ready.”

  I narrow my eyes at her in a playful pout and she glances up at me.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You know how I am about my cooking. It has to be perfect before anyone can taste it.”

  “You let me taste your chili,” I argue back.

  “That’s only because I knew it was missing something and I couldn’t figure out what it was.”

  I narrow my eyes once more and she grins and shakes her head at my reaction. In one swift move I wrap an arm around her waist, lift her off of her feet, pull her away from the stove, and dunk my spoon in the pan.

  “Conner!” she laughs as she tries her best to reprimand me.

  “Mmm, delicious,” I smile putting her back down on her feet.
>
  She slaps my arm and pushes herself between me and the stove.

  “You’re such a child! Go find something useful to do,” she says, trying to act mad.

  There’s my girl. I laugh and turn to see Gabe standing in the doorway smiling at me.

  “Hey, Gabe. How’s it going?”

  “Can’t complain. How are you doing?” he asks and I assume he’s talking about the Captain position.

  “Ya know, I’m managing,” I shrug.

  He pats my shoulder firmly.

  “It’s messed up what happened, Conner. It really is. But I’m glad you're handling it okay.”

  “Yeah, thanks, Gabe.”

  ****

  Brooke

  I find myself rushing back and forth from pan to crockpot to cutting board. Adding ingredients here, stirring sauces there. But I’m happy for the distraction. It keeps me busy and keeps my attention off of Conner and how incredibly sexy he looks with his scruffy facial hair that it seems he has chosen to embrace. How is it possible for him to look even sexier now than he did before? No, Brooke. Focus on the food.

  I had another steamy dream last night featuring Conner Smoak where I was reliving the other night at Micky’s. Except in my dream he threatened to fuck me in front of everyone at the bar if I didn’t get into his truck. So I intentionally resisted again and when I did he bent me over the bar and fucked me hard in front of everyone. I woke up this morning panting and soaking wet. Since then I’ve found it difficult to be here alone with him but giving him things to do on the other side of the room helps.

  I’m even more relieved when Gabe shows up. I hear him and Conner talking then they both walk over to me.

  “Hey, Brooke. That smells amazing,” Gabe says.

  “Thank you.”

  “Just wait until you taste it,” Conner says, winking and flashing me that smirk that makes my legs wobble.

  I narrow my eyes at him. Gabe laughs and finds a seat at one of the tables but Conner still hoovers beside me watching. Even over the smell of my bar-b-que I catch the apple woodsy aroma of his cologne. He always smells so good.