Fury Godmother
Page 10
“John,” he replied. He stood and shook the chief’s hand.
“John, this is Sawyer Fox, the new chief of police,” I said.
John offered a friendly smile. “Right. I’ve heard about you. Nice to put a face to the name.”
“How do you two know each other?” the chief asked.
“We met in my barn,” I said. Ugh, not the best answer I could’ve given, but I was still reeling from the chief’s presence. His hair was slightly damp from what I assumed was the shower and he wore a body-skimming black T-shirt with tight gray pants. Did he have to look as good in street clothes as in his uniform? It seemed grossly unfair to the rest of the men in the world.
The chief gave a halfhearted laugh. “The barn, huh? Okay, that doesn’t sound odd at all.” He shifted toward his companions. “This is my friend from out of town, Audra.”
Audra plastered on a smile, but it looked more like she’d sucked one of Aunt Thora’s lemons. “Pleased to meet you both.”
“Are you from Iowa?” I asked. I knew the chief was originally from Des Moines.
“We went to the University of Iowa together,” Audra said. “I live in Chicago now.”
“You picked a good time to visit here,” John said. “Weather’s been perfect.”
“Yes, Sawyer’s been talking it up so much, I just had to come and see for myself.”
“Chipping Cheddar is a special place,” John said.
“I’m still on the fence,” Audra said. “Only one good coffee place? Even the crappy town I grew up in had two good coffee places.”
I had to fight the urge to hex her with a silencing spell. Yes, yes. I was a hypocrite. Even though I’d avoided living here and had to be dragged back kicking and screaming, I’d still defend my hometown to anyone who tried to put it down.
The chief nudged Audra. “Come on. You can’t base your entire opinion of a town on its coffee offerings. You said earlier that the downtown was great.”
Audra stroked his arm. “I was being polite.”
“Chief Fox, your table is ready,” the hostess said.
Thank the gods.
“It was good to meet you, John. Enjoy your dinner.” The chief’s gaze lingered on me for a moment longer before he turned and followed the hostess to another table across the room.
“He seems nice,” John said. “A fair bit younger than Chief O’Neill.”
“Definitely.”
“Didn’t seem like his girlfriend was very impressed with our neck of the woods.”
“You think Audra is his girlfriend?” I craned my neck for another glimpse of them.
John shrugged. “She was hanging on him like she was. Might as well have peed in a circle around him to keep the other females at bay.”
I laughed. “I think it’s only male animals that do that.”
“Well, she lives in Chicago. Maybe they do things differently there.”
I cracked another smile. John was turning out to be good company, even if I wasn’t particularly attracted to him.
“Have you dated a lot here?” I asked.
“Not as often as I’d like,” John said. “I tend to get caught up in a project and then not make time for much else besides fishing.”
“My brother likes to fish in the river not far from the mound,” I said.
“That’s where my buddy Joe likes to go,” John said. “We were just there a couple weeks ago, talking about winning the lottery, in fact. What are the odds, right?”
Hmm. Could a wish demon be in the river? “You were fishing at the time?”
“I guess. We’d gone for a hike and then headed to the river to relax.”
“And Joe said his wish was to win the lottery, too?”
John chuckled. “No, actually Joe said he’d wish I’d win the lottery so I’d stop talking about winning the lottery.”
“My brother always says the best catches are in the river.” I neglected to mention that Anton also thought the dormant portal in the mound was somehow a draw for the fish. Why, I had no idea. It wasn’t like the fish were supernatural.
“He’s right. I always get lucky there.” John’s face turned beet red. “With fishing, I mean.”
“With the lottery, too, apparently,” I said. “That’s where you talked about winning and then, lo and behold, you did.”
John polished off his second beer. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe I should take my next date there.”
We laughed, though I thought it was interesting that he made no mention of taking me there. He was either a total gentleman or had already decided he wasn’t interested.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need the restroom,” I said. I wanted to text Neville about researching wish demons that lived in rivers.
“Take your time. I promise not to eat your food,” he said.
I hurried to the restroom and shot off a quick text to Neville before disappearing into a stall. When I emerged, I saw Audra at the sink, reapplying lipstick while she admired her reflection in the mirror. She noticed me and popped the lid back on the tube of lipstick.
“Sawyer sure has a lot to say about you,” she said. She talked to me via her reflection, which was weird.
I washed my hands quickly, eager to return to the table and away from Audra. “Well, we worked on a case together recently.”
“He said you’re some kind of cyber crime fighter. Sounds pretty lame to sit in front of a computer all day.”
“And what do you do, Audra?”
“I’m a physician’s assistant at a big hospital,” she said. “One of the biggest in Chicago.”
“Is that like a nurse?”
Her eyes hardened like two dark stones. “No, it is not like a nurse.”
I frowned. “Is there something wrong with being a nurse?”
“How do you not know what a physician’s assistant is?” she asked. She was still talking to me in the mirror, even though I was looking directly at her.
“I guess I’ve never encountered one,” I said. “My sister-in-law is a doctor, but she has her own practice.” And I’d been fortunate enough not to spend time in any hospitals.
Audra glared at me. “I think you’re just trying to insult me because of Sawyer.”
Now I was very confused. “Insult you? Nurses are amazing. How is that an insult?”
“You know how.”
Audra was making me dizzy. “Why would I want to hurt your feelings if you’re a friend of the chief’s? I like the chief.” More than I cared to admit.
Audra slipped the lipstick into her handbag. “Because we’re more than friends. He and I have been involved off and on since college.”
“That’s nice.” I dried my hands as she continued to stare at me in the mirror.
“I don’t like to hear him talk about other women,” Audra said.
“I guess that’s an issue you’ll need to raise with him then.” I smiled sweetly. “How long are you in town?”
“Hopefully not much longer,” she said. “It’s great to see Sawyer, of course, but I’m bored out of my mind. I can’t wait to get back to Chicago.”
I couldn’t imagine being bored in the chief’s presence.
“Sawyer is amazing, but I could never marry him unless he moved to Chicago,” she continued. “He loves insignificant places like this and I left them far behind when I left Iowa. I have no desire to go back to that life.”
My heart stuttered. “Has he asked you to marry him?” The question slipped out before I could stop myself. I’d been trying to play it cool, but curiosity got the better of me.
“No, but he would if I wanted him to,” she said. “I’m the kind of woman who gets what I want. You’d do well to remember that, Agent Furry.”
“It’s Fury,” I said.
“Whatever.” Audra sailed out of the restroom without a backward glance. I watched her go, pleased to see that she left with a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
I returned to the table feeling a little off-ki
lter. I wondered what the chief had actually said to make Audra think I was a threat to their relationship. The chief had said before that he wasn’t married because he was married to the job. There’d been no mention of Audra, or any other girlfriends. So how did Audra fit in?
“You okay?” John asked.
I flashed a bright smile. “Yes, good. The food is delicious.”
“Is it? Because you’ve barely eaten any.”
I glanced down at my full plate. “I like to save half for the next day. Savor the experience.”
John eyed me closely. “You’re not into this, are you?” He motioned between us.
“I’m having a nice time,” I said.
“But there’s no spark,” he said.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “I don’t think so, do you?”
Relief washed across his features. “No.”
We both laughed and I instantly relaxed.
“I hope you’re not too disappointed,” I said.
“Hey, as long as we’re on the same page, it’s all good,” John said. “And the bonus is that I still get to renovate your barn.” He paused. “Right?”
“Are you sure?”
“I am.” He scraped the last of his food off his plate. “So how long have you had a crush on the new chief? He is pretty good-looking for a dude.”
The back of my neck warmed. “I don’t have a crush on the chief.”
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” John said. “I could feel the energy between you two. Pretty sure that old guy across the room felt it, too, and he’s asleep.”
“There’s no energy,” I insisted.
John suppressed a smile. “Whatever you say, Eden.”
We split the bill when it came and John walked me back to my car. I noticed the chief glance in my direction as we left, but I didn’t acknowledge him.
“This was fun,” John said. “Let’s do it again sometime. As friends, of course.”
“On one condition,” I said.
“What’s that?”
“That you never date my mother,” I said.
John hunched over, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “In all my years of dating, I’ve never had that specific request.”
“Seriously, if you do the barn, she’s bound to hit on you. Please put her off as nicely as possible. Tell her you’re engaged. Or you’re moving to Guam. Whatever it takes.” My mother wasn’t one to take no for an answer. John would have to be firm but kind, or else she’d hex him, not that I could tell him that.
John didn’t even hesitate. “Deal,” he said.
Chapter Eleven
When I got home, I tried to sneak past the kitchen and head straight to the attic to change into cozy pajamas. I didn’t think about using the locket until it was too late.
“There’s Eden now,” I heard my mother say.
I froze mid-step.
“Eden, come see who’s here,” Grandma called.
Reluctantly, I turned and entered the kitchen. My grandmother’s best friend, Shirley, sat at the table with Mom, Grandma, and Uncle Moyer. Candy was sprawled across the table, her tail flicking the cards across the surface.
“Gin rummy?” I asked.
“What else?” Shirley asked. “Come closer so I can get a good look at you. It’s been too many years.”
Shirley was a tall, busty woman with cropped white hair and a penchant for chunky jewelry. She was a human with the Sight and a psychic, though I often doubted her abilities. Her predictions tended to be on par with those found in Chinese fortune cookies or horoscopes.
“You look just the same,” I said.
“Lying is a sin, Eden Fury,” she chastised me.
“So is gambling,” I said.
Shirley gestured to the cards. “This is gin rummy. Perfectly acceptable. Now poker is another matter entirely.”
“Which is why we can’t play and I’m stuck being the dealer,” Uncle Moyer interjected, sounding vaguely put out.
I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. “Where’s Tomas?” Tomas was Uncle Moyer’s husband and a human-angel hybrid.
“He has a cold,” Uncle Moyer said. “You know what a baby he is when he has the sniffles. You’d think he was on death’s door.”
“Throw salt over your shoulder when you say a thing like that,” Shirley told him. She was as superstitious as she was pious.
Uncle Moyer took a pinch of salt from the shaker and threw it over his left shoulder, his expression deadpan.
“Now tell me, Beatrice,” Shirley said. “Why hasn’t there been a party to welcome Eden home? I would think it’s a cause for celebration.”
“I would have planned one, but someone didn’t tell us she’d be moving back until the last minute.” My mother maintained a neutral expression, as though the identity of that someone was a complete mystery.
“The transfer was unexpected,” I said. “Besides, you know I wouldn’t want a party.” Being the center of attention in this house never ended well and was best avoided.
“So, Eden, how was your date?” my mother asked.
I flinched. “How did you know I was on a date?”
Grandma jerked her hand of cards in Shirley’s direction. “We’re entertaining a psychic. How do you think?”
“You had a vision of me on a date?” I asked.
Shirley set down a run of diamonds. “No, Mona saw you out with that lottery-winning carpenter and texted me.”
I felt my mother’s laser eyes burning a hole through me. I ignored her and went to put my leftovers in the fridge.
“Bring over a snack for the table while you’re up,” Grandma said.
I rummaged in the pantry, careful to avoid anything that looked earmarked for a spell. I’d made that mistake in high school and ended up with a swollen nose for a week. I’d had to invent a story about walking into a sliding glass door.
I pulled a bag of mixed nuts from the shelf and brought them to the table to pour into a bowl.
Grandma cringed. “I said a snack, not brains.”
“These are nuts.”
“You’re nuts,” Grandma said. “You know I’m allergic. Are you trying to kill me?”
“Mom, you’re not allergic,” my mother said. “You just don’t like walnuts.”
Grandma pushed the bowl away. “That’s an understatement. You’re basically eating brains.”
Uncle Moyer crooked a finger, gesturing for the bowl. “Consider me a zombie then because I adore walnuts.”
“Maybe that’s how you got so smart, Moyer,” Shirley said. “Eating all those tiny brains.”
“He certainly didn’t inherit it from his mother,” Grandma said.
“Grandma! That’s a horrible thing to say about your sister,” I told her. I glanced around the room. “Where is Aunt Thora?”
“She retired early,” my mother said. “My grandchildren were full of beans this evening and wore her out.”
I guess that explained why Anton and Verity were nowhere to be seen as well.
“Would you like to play, Eden?” Shirley asked. “I could use a little competition. The rest of the players aren’t really up to my standards.”
“You think God isn’t up to your standards,” Grandma shot back.
“And what about the young carpenter?” my mother asked. “Does he meet your exacting standards, Eden?”
I knew we’d circle back to my date at some point. It was only a matter of time.
“Your mother tells us he’s quite handsome,” Moyer said.
“John is attractive,” I said. “I can’t argue with that.”
“Oh,” my mother sniffed. “So it’s John now, is it?”
“They had dinner together,” Grandma said. “What do you think she should call him? Guy My Mother Wants To Bone? He’s not Native American.”
“We ended the date as friends,” I said. “And he wants to renovate the barn.”
My mother perked up. “He does? But what about his boat and writing the Great American No
vel?”
“It’s not the life for him, apparently,” I said. “He wants to continue to do carpentry.”
“What a waste of a winning lottery ticket,” Grandma said.
Shirley fanned out her cards in front of her face. “Playing the lottery is a sin anyway. It’s no wonder he found no peace from his winnings. That kind of money is Satan’s work.”
Moyer arched an eyebrow. “You remember you’re sitting at the table with a demon, right?”
Shirley smiled and swatted his arm. “Oh, Moyer. You know I don’t mean you.”
“So you’re only racist about demons you don’t know?” I suggested.
“Shirley’s known plenty of demons she hasn’t liked,” Grandma said. “Remember Patty Sinclair?”
Shirley groaned. “Do I ever? I had to beg forgiveness on that one. Went to church every day for a month in penance.” Shirley raised her eyes to the heavens.
“What did you do?” I asked.
Shirley and Grandma exchanged looks. “I gave her a reading,” Shirley said.
“She lied and told Patty that her husband was cheating on her,” Grandma interrupted, and laughed. “You should’ve seen Patty’s face. I hadn’t seen a face as pale as that since your father brought Sally home from Otherworld.”
“What happened to Patty’s husband?” I asked.
“Apparently, he confessed and they went to marriage counseling,” Shirley said.
Grandma cackled. “We couldn’t believe it. Turns out he had a thing with their babysitter. Nobody had a clue.”
“Still, I shouldn’t have committed a sin like that simply because I disliked the woman,” Shirley said. “It was petty and unnecessary.”
“Do unto others,” Uncle Moyer said, nodding sagely.
“Why, Moyer. That’s from the Bible,” Shirley said. “Isn’t there some rule about demons quoting the Bible? Doesn’t your tongue burn?”
Uncle Moyer flashed a devilish grin. “He who lacks knowledge, lacks quotable material.”
Shirley straightened in her chair. “Anyhow, the way I see it, I actually ended up saving their marriage. They should have thanked me.”
“Yes, you’re doing God’s work,” Grandma said. Shirley seemed oblivious to the sarcasm, or chose to ignore it. After all these years, I had no doubt she was accustomed to my grandmother’s sharp tongue.