He stepped closer. “And you were stern and serious.” He gave her a playful grin. “Always trying to keep me on track.”
“Not that it ever worked.”
“It worked. If not for you, I probably wouldn’t have had the grades my senior year to secure that baseball scholarship.”
His dreams had been as important to her as her own back then. “I came alive when I was with you,” she said, leaning back on the desk. “A part of me has been kind of… numb since you walked out of my life.” Dead might be a more accurate description. A part of her had died when he left her. The part of her capable of feeling deeply and loving with her whole heart.
“We could bring you back to life,” he said, looking hopeful. “The fun, open, fearless side.”
He’d been the one sitting beside her on roller coasters or when he talked her into driving a stock race car around the track. He’d been the one to show her how to defy gravity by hitting a baseball farther than her small frame should have allowed. The one to arrange her first hot air balloon and helicopter rides.
“Birthdays haven’t been the same without you,” she said, smiling. He’d always made a big deal of her birthday, claiming that was the day to step out of her comfort zone and do something that scared and thrilled her at the same time.
“Nothing’s been the same without you.”
She held on to those words, absorbing them as she realized the same was true for her. Nothing in her life had been the same without Ethan.
“I’m so damn confused,” she said, running her hands through her hair.
“Don’t think I’m not.”
“So what do we do about it?”
He walked toward her and folded her in his strong arms. “We figure it out together, Gracie.”
* * *
They were laughing over burgers and shakes that night when Ethan reached across the table to wipe a streak of chocolate off her cheek with a paper napkin.
“Thanks,” she said, taking the napkin to take over the task.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”
She blushed, shaking her head. “I look like hell. Workout clothes. My hair in a ponytail. No makeup. Come on, E, you can’t tell me this look does it for you.”
“You do it for me.” You always have. “I’m tired of made-up girls trying so hard to be someone they’re not just to impress me. I miss someone who can be real with me. I missed you.” It was a difficult admission, because it left him feeling vulnerable—especially when she simply stared at him instead of responding in kind.
“I…”
“You don’t have to say anything.” He took a bite of his burger to draw attention from the awkward silence. “It’s cool.”
“It’s just that I’m trying really hard to remind myself that we’re trying to rebuild a friendship here, nothing more.”
“A friendship, huh?” That hot kiss they’d shared refuted her claim. “I think we bypassed that and went straight into… something more.”
“But we can’t,” she said, looking panicked. “I mean, I know we’re still attracted to each other. Obviously we can’t deny that. But to try to start something more would be crazy.”
She kept saying that. But he was crazy. About her. And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. “To try to deny it would be just as crazy.”
“Fine,” she said, looking sullen as she balled up her burger wrapper and tossed it in the container with her half-eaten fries. “What do you suggest we do about it?”
“Act on it.” That seemed obvious to him. If you had an itch, you scratched it. If you were hot for a girl, you slept with her. Except she wasn’t just any girl. She was the girl who’d stolen his heart and refused to give it back.
“Are you suggesting…?” She blushed, shaking her head. “No. We can’t. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You’re single. So am I. We can do whatever the hell we want.” And he loved that. There was no better feeling in the world than finally being free to explore his attraction to Gracie and knowing she was too.
“But—”
“Don’t you ever get tired of overthinking things? Second-guessing yourself? Don’t you ever wish you could act on your impulse to have a little fun?”
“Fun?” she asked, staring him down as she stood. “If that’s what you want, why didn’t you just say so? Fun I can do.”
He watched her storm out of the restaurant, wondering what the hell had just happened. After collecting his wallet, keys, and cell phone off the table, he scrambled to follow her.
“Hey, Ethan,” said a couple of teenagers who held the door open for him. “How ‘bout a selfie?”
“Another time, guys.”
Gracie was standing by his truck, waiting for him.
“Uh, you want me to take you back to your car?” he asked, at a loss.
“No.” She looked at him, a challenge darkening her almond-shaped eyes. “I want you to take me back to your place.”
“Uh, okay.”
He’d like nothing more than to spend time with her, but her mood told him she had more than a nightcap on her mind. Aware people were all around them and watching their exchange with interest, he opened the passenger door for her and waited until she was tucked safely inside before he closed it.
When he was back in the driver’s seat, he buckled up and started the engine, expecting her to say something. When she didn’t, he said, “Look, I didn’t mean to offend you back there.”
“You didn’t.” She smiled sweetly. “In fact, you helped me to realize you’re right. I’m single, and fun should be at the top of my agenda. If having sex with you makes me feel good, that’s what I should do, right?”
His mouth went dry as he backed out of the parking space. She was actually agreeing to have sex with him? How the hell did that happen? And what did it mean?
“I’ve been too serious,” she said, drumming her fingers on her legs. “Always worrying about the future. Concerned I’d get my heart broken or hurt someone else. Afraid to take risks in case I got hurt. But no more.” She sliced her hand through the air. “You only live once. And from here on out, you’re going to see a new Grace with a new attitude.”
“Uh, okay.” He liked the old Grace, but who was he to argue?
“You’re the one who always told me you’re only young once. I’ve wasted some of the best years of my life worrying about the future. And for what? Look at me.” She threw her hands in the air. “I’m still single. No husband. No kids. No prospects. So why the hell shouldn’t I have a little fun with you until my Mr. Right comes along?”
Her Mr. Right? Just who the hell did she think her Mr. Right was? And why couldn’t it be him?
“That is what you want, right?” She shot him a sidelong glance. “To have sex with me?”
“Well yeah, sure, but—”
“You would have taken me right there in my office if I’d given you the green light, wouldn’t you?” Before he could respond, she curled her hand around his thigh. “Bent me over the desk and reminded me what I’d been missing all these years?”
She was making him crazy, but an undertone to her words was also making him nervous. This recklessness was totally out of character for her, and he couldn’t figure out what it meant.
“Or maybe you would have taken me against the wall.” She licked her lip as though she was imagining all the possibilities. “Pulled my pants down right there and—”
“Jesus, Gracie.” She was making him hot as hell, but it wasn’t like her to be so forward. “Where is all this coming from?”
“I realized you’re right. We both want the same thing. Sex. So why can’t we have it?”
“Good question.” I think.
“We can.” She grinned at him seductively. “Here’s the deal. Over the next few months, I get to be the bad girl I’ve always wanted to be with you.”
Okay, now she had him breaking out in a cold sweat. “Go on.”
“Before, when we were toge
ther, I was kind of reserved because I didn’t want to overstep and turn you off. I knew you were thinking of me as the girl you were going to marry, the mother of your future children. So I had to act accordingly. But there’s no pressure anymore. We both know this can’t go anywhere. You’re only here for a few months. It’s not enough time for a real relationship, but it’s more than enough time for me to… experiment.”
“Experiment?” He didn’t mind being her guinea pig in the bedroom, but if she thought she was going to perfect her technique with him so some other nameless, faceless guy down the road could benefit from her experience with him, she was out of her mind. ‘Cause that was not happening.
“Yeah.” Her fingers inched higher up his thigh. “I’ve always wanted to do it in a car.” She pointed toward a dead-end street facing the lake, where only a few cottagers resided during peak season. “What’s wrong with right here?”
“Are you serious?”
It’s not that he’d never done it in a car, but this was Gracie, not some random hook-up he’d never see again. And she had to live in this town. If someone spotted them, it would hurt her reputation, not his. People expected crap like that from professional athletes, not prim-and-proper business owners they’d known their whole lives.
“Of course I’m serious.” She jerked the wheel, laughing when the Jeep nearly veered off the road.
“What the hell?” He turned down the road she’d indicated, scowling when she rummaged through his glove box. “What are you looking for?”
“Condoms. And don’t tell me you don’t have any in here. I know you must.”
“I don’t. I just keep this vehicle here so I’ll have something to drive when I’m back home.”
“Damn.” She grabbed her huge purse off the floorboard and rummaged through it. “I might have some condoms in here.” She held up a foil packet, looking triumphant. “Ha! Victory!”
“Why do you carry condoms around in your purse?”
“A little advice your sister gave me once. ‘Never walk around without condoms in your purse when you’re a free agent. You never know when you might want to take a walk on the wild side with a sexy stranger.’” She laughed at his look of shock.
“God.”
He wasn’t surprised his sister had passed on that little gem. Since she didn’t do relationships, she wasn’t shy about sharing how she scratched the itch. According to her, she didn’t sleep around. She just had a couple of friends who were more than happy to hang out whenever she called. Which was way too much information for Ethan.
“Park right there,” she said, pointing at a huge oak tree on a grassy patch near the public part of the beach. “No one’s here right now. These cottages belong to the Wrights and the Baxters, and they only come up in the summer.”
He still couldn’t believe they were doing this. Not even in high school had she suggested messing around in the car. “Uh, are you sure about this?” He put the vehicle in park and cut the engine. “I have a nice, comfy bed back at my place. Why don’t we just—”
She cut him off with a mind-blowing kiss before climbing into his lap. “I’m sure.”
Hot open-mouthed kisses up and down his neck were weakening his resolve, but he couldn’t ignore the fact she was Gracie. A girl who didn’t do shit like this. And the last thing he wanted was for her to wake up with regrets and start pushing him away again.
“Look, I know what I said back in the restaurant…” He groaned when she started grinding on him. “But, uh, maybe we need to rethink this.” He closed his eyes when she pulled off her hoodie, followed by her tank top. He wrapped his hands around her slim waist, trying to hold her still. “It’s, uh, not that I don’t want you.” He felt the brush of her nipples against his lips and almost devoured them before he came back to his senses. “I do. You have no idea…”
“Then take me,” she whispered, pulling his T-shirt over his head. “Come on, E. No more talk. Show me how much you want me.”
There was no way he could hold back any longer. He’d tried to do the right thing. He’d given her a chance to rethink her decision, to back out, but she wasn’t having it.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing her head. “Open your eyes and look at me.”
She did, but looked sex-drowsy, as though she was there, but she wasn’t really. “What?”
“Think about what we’re about to do here. There’s no going back after this.”
“I don’t want to go back.” She licked her lips as her eyes trailed over his chest. “I wouldn’t mind going down though.”
His heart kicked into overdrive at that image. “You can’t say shit like that without me losin’ it, girl.”
“Then lose it.” She gripped his shoulders. “You went easy on me before. I know you did. I was a virgin then. Scared. Inexperienced. Now I’m a full-grown woman and I’m not scared anymore. Of anything.”
This felt like a dream, one he’d had too many times. And Gracie had always been the star. “But sex is a big deal to you. I know it is. You can’t have sex without feelings getting involved, so maybe we should talk about our feelings for each other before we do this.”
“Don’t you get it?” she asked, sounding frustrated. “I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to feel. I just want to act. I want to have fun and forget everything. Can’t you help me do that?”
He could help her forget her own goddamn name, but when they woke up from their lust-induced stupor, they’d still be the same two people who’d come dangerously close to forever a lifetime ago.
“I can do whatever you need me to do, baby.” But denying our feelings won’t make them go away.
Chapter Five
Something had snapped inside Gracie when Ethan called her out in that restaurant. She was so tired of being the good girl, the responsible one who never did anything without weighing the consequences. She was tired of living with regrets because of the chances she didn’t take. She wanted Ethan, and she was going to have him. But only his body. He couldn’t give her any more, and she wouldn’t ask for more.
As she rode him hard enough to rock a thirty-five-hundred-pound vehicle, she felt as though she was finally losing all of her inhibitions. As intense pleasure swept through her body, numbing her mind to everything but him, she finally got it. She understood why Ethan chased thrills like this. Because it felt so damn good.
She didn’t even try to censor her cries as her body squeezed his, pulsating around him. The old Grace would have done that. The new Gracie was sexy and free and could scream as loud as she wanted when a hot guy rocked her world. He swallowed her cries with a stupefying kiss that had her digging her nails into his shoulders and picking up the pace all over again.
“Yes,” she murmured, leaning back so her breasts were aligned with his mouth. “Again.”
She didn’t have to ask him twice. And he wasn’t tentatively tasting her. He was destroying her with his tongue in the greediest, sexiest way. More than enough to push her over the edge… again.
“Gracie…” His head fell back, and hers did too. He pulled her close, holding her as their bodies throbbed in unison. “That was…”
She smiled, wiping sweat off his forehead. “Incredible, I know.” She gave him another second to catch his breath before she said, “Can you take me back to my car now? I have an early morning.”
“What?”
“I have—”
“I heard what you said. But…”
She climbed off of him and did something good Grace never would have done—grab the condom and run buck-naked outside to dispose of it in the trash receptacle by the cottage. Just because she was turning over a new leaf didn’t mean she had to be a litterbug.
“What the hell did you just do?” he asked, wide-eyed when she jumped back in the Jeep, giggling.
“That was another one on my bucket list. Being naked in public.” Even though his had been the only eyes on her, she still felt sexy and adventurous for taking the risk. “It’s not exactly a nude beach, but I�
�ll get there eventually.”
He rubbed his forehead as he watched her get dressed. “What are you saying? You want strange men ogling your naked body on some beach?”
“You make it sound so dirty.” She laughed as she redressed while tossing him his clothes. “It’s not like I’d be the only naked person there. Everyone would be.”
“Who the hell are you and what did you do with the sweet, innocent girl I used to know?”
“She grew up,” she said, shimmying into her pants. It wasn’t easy since she was still a little sweaty from all that… exertion.
“But just a few hours ago you were—”
“Afraid,” she admitted, fastening her bra while he watched. “Afraid to take chances. Afraid to get hurt. Afraid to have fun ‘cause someone might not approve of the kind of fun I want to have. Well, you know what? I don’t give a shit anymore. I don’t owe anyone anything, and from now on, I’m going to do what I want, when I want, with who I want.”
“Hold up,” he said, raising his hand. “I’m not sure I like that last part.”
She frowned as she zipped her hoodie and slipped her running shoes back on. He, of course, was still naked, with only his clothes in his lap to conceal that mouth-watering body. “What part?”
“Who the hell do you plan on doing this with?” he asked, gesturing to the interior of the car. “Other than me?”
She laughed as she patted his bare leg. “You won’t be around forever, E. A girl’s got to have her fun where she can get it, right?”
“Wrong!” He inhaled deeply before closing his eyes and redressing as she watched. “You can’t just do shit like this with people you don’t even know, so get that idea out of your head right now. It’s not only stupid, it’s dangerous.”
“Oh, so you never have one-night stands then?” When he didn’t respond, she rolled her eyes. “Of course you do. So why can’t I?”
“Because you’re…” He slammed his palm against the steering wheel. “You just can’t, okay?”
“Hey, E,” she said gently, touching his forearm, “let’s get clear about one thing. You’re not my boyfriend anymore. That’s not what this is about, right?”
Down the Line (Sports Romance) Page 6