He glared at her, refusing to acknowledge her words.
“We’re just people ‘acting on our attraction’ as you put it.”
“Damn it, sex with you is…” He ran his hand over his head. “Well, it’s not just sex for me. How can it be? We have too much history.”
She understood his point, but this wasn’t about the past or the future. It was about the present. And him helping her reinvent herself as only he could. “I love that you care so much about me. I care about you too. I always will.”
He pulled his clothes back on, swearing softly when he put his T-shirt on inside out.
It was difficult for her to put her thoughts into words, but she had to try. She didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings or hurt feelings when it was time for him to leave for spring training.
“This is just for fun, E.” When he scowled, she said, “Okay, call it closure if that’ll make you feel better. It’s a chance for us to get it all out of our system, this attraction, chemistry, whatever you want to call it”—she waved as she struggled to find words that made sense to him—“so we can both get on with our lives.”
“In my experience, you don’t just get something like that out of your system,” he said, strapping his seat belt while he glanced over to make sure she was doing the same. “No matter how much sex we have, it’ll never be enough.”
The butterflies in her stomach flitted around excitedly, making her wish there was an off switch for those little buggers. She wasn’t supposed to be getting all girly, romanticizing what had happened between them. She was supposed to be in full-on guy mode, chocking it up to a good time with no strings attached.
They drove the few miles to her car in silence, but it wasn’t the comfortable silence she was used to with him. This was an angry, energy-filled silence that told her he was brooding.
“What’s wrong?” she asked finally, when he pulled into the parking lot of her gym.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I guess I’m just trying to wrap my head around this. You want to have sex. No commitments, no talk of the future. Just sex. Is that right?”
She nodded, hoping he was on board with her idea now that he’d had time to think about it. “What’s so wrong with that? People do it all the time, right?”
“Not people with as much history as we have. Come on, we were in love once. Aren’t you afraid this could get messy and feelings could get in involved?”
“Not gonna happen,” she said emphatically, though she’d have to be crazy to deny that her ex was the kind of guy any woman in her right mind would fall for, especially if she was sharing his bed on a regular basis. Which brought her to some ground rules. “We just need to figure things out ahead of time. If we don’t treat it like a real relationship, we’ll mitigate the risk.”
“Mitigate the risk?” he asked, staring at her as though she’d sprouted another head. “How the hell do you suggest we do that?”
“Easy. No sleepovers, for one.”
“Go on,” he said, looking more annoyed than agreeable.
“No cuddling after we do the deed.” Before he could interject, she raised a finger. “No questioning each other about other dates or how we spend our time when we’re not together.”
“Dates?” he echoed, wide-eyed. “You actually think you’re going to be dating other guys while you’re sleeping with me? Yeah, that’s not happening.”
She should have known he would call her out on that one. “Fine, we’ll circle back to that one another time. So long as you agree to the other points, we should be fine.” It wasn’t as if it would be a sacrifice for her to wait to date other men until Ethan left town. If there was anyone she wanted to date, she’d have done it by now and wouldn’t be propositioning him.
He curled his hand around the steering wheel. “You’re not giving me much choice, are you?”
She saw he wasn’t thrilled, but at least he’d agreed to her terms. She leaned in to reward him with a kiss on the cheek, but he surprised her with a tongue-twirling that practically begged for a second round.
“That’ll give you something to think about tonight,” he whispered before kissing her neck. “I’ll see you at the gym tomorrow. Hopefully by then you’ll have come to your senses.”
* * *
Bella came into the gym early the next morning, wearing bright pink-and-black shorts and a matching crop top with her favorite multi-colored Sketchers.
“You look cute,” Grace said, smiling as she sipped her coffee.
“Thanks.” After tossing her gym bag down at her feet, Bella tightened her ponytail. “Thought I’d treat myself to some new workout gear while I was away. So what’d you do last night?”
“Uh…” She had a rule against talking to Bella about her brother, but this time, she had to break her own rule. She couldn’t not tell her best friend that she’d decided to go full throttle with her brother.
“I know that look,” Bella said, waving a finger at her. “What did you do?”
“Janise,” Grace said to the new part-time girl they’d hired, “can you keep an eye on the front desk for me? I need to head back to my office for a few.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
“Come with me,” Grace said, crooking a finger at her friend.
“Oh,” Bella said, rubbing her hands together, “I have a feeling this is gonna be good.”
She had no idea just how good it had been. So good it had fueled Grace’s fantasies all night long.
When they were safely tucked away in her office, Grace said, “So, I did something. Something that was kind of out of character for me.”
Grace sat on the edge of the desk, swinging her feet while Bella sat in the guest chair in front of her, wide-eyed and hanging on her every word.
“Well?” Bella wiggled her fingers. “Don’t keep me in suspense. What did you do?”
“I, um…” If Ethan were anyone other than Bella’s brother saying it wouldn’t have been so hard, but Grace knew she wouldn’t care to hear the details of her older brother’s sexual exploits. “Kind of slept with Ethan.”
Bella squealed, stomping her feet as she balled her hands into fists. “I just knew you two would get back together as soon as he came to his senses and dumped that skank.”
“Hold up,” Grace said, raising her hand. “Slow down. It’s not what you think. We’re not back together. We’re just having fun.”
Bella stared at her as if Grace had suddenly lapsed into Swedish. “You’re just having fun? So you’re not getting back together?”
“Right.”
Looking crestfallen, her shoulders slumped. “But why? You two are perfect for each other.”
“Honey, we may have thought that years ago, but we were just kids then. What did we know about love?” She’d known enough to know that what she’d found with Ethan was special, even if it wasn’t meant to last.
“I don’t believe that, and neither do you.” Bella pursed her lips. “We’ve been friends since first grade, and if anyone can tell when you’re lying, it’s me.”
“I am not lying. Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always telling me I have to be more adventurous? I’m finally taking your advice. I thought you’d be happy.”
She tipped her head from one side to the other as she studied Grace. “Well, you do seem happier. Though great sex can have that effect on a girl. It was great, wasn’t it?” When Grace blushed and dipped her head, she said, “I’m not asking for the dirty details. I just want to know if it was better or worse than you remember.”
“Better.” She grinned mischievously at her friend’s look of surprise. “Way better. But it was because I was different, Bell. I finally decided to just let go and do something totally outrageous, something I never would have done before.”
“Before what?”
“Before Ethan and I broke up. Before Joel.” She spread her hands, content in the knowledge she wasn’t making a lick of sense. “Before I became this good girl who was afraid
to break the rules.”
“But that’s who you are,” Bella said, looking confused. “That’s who you’ve always been. I’m the risk-taker, the flirty one who’ll walk up to the hottest guy in the bar and ask him if he wants to try Sex on the Beach.”
And laughs in his face when he finally realizes she’s talking about her drink. Grace had always admired her best friend’s guts. Maybe all those years hanging around Bella were finally rubbing off on her.
“You’re the one who gets to have all the fun,” Grace said, thinking about how much she’d been missing out on by living vicariously through Bella instead of getting in on the action herself. “And I’m the responsible one. Well, I’m tired of being the responsible one. Maybe I’m finally ready to have a little fun myself.”
“I think that’s great. But what brought on this change of heart?”
“Last night I was sitting across the table from Ethan, thinking about how much I’d like to get naked with him, when he challenged me without even realizing it.” She’d wondered if Ethan had known he was going to shake loose her inner bad girl, would he have said or done anything differently? Probably not. Ethan loved to party. Especially when it was a party of two with a willing woman.
“How’d he do that?” Bella asked, looking enthralled.
“He asked me if I ever get tired of overthinking things and second-guessing myself. He asked if I ever wish I could just act on the impulse to have a little fun.” His words filtered through her mind and reinforced what she already knew. She was ready for a change. Ready to stop being the person everyone thought she should be and become the person she’d always wanted to be. “And I realized I am tired of being that girl. I do want to have fun and let loose.”
“Okay, but what does that mean exactly?”
“It means if I want to have hot sex with a good-looking guy, I do it. I don’t weigh the pros and cons and subscribe to some stupid three-date rule. I don’t question whether he’s good husband material or whether he likes kids. I don’t ask about his relationship with his mother or whether he’s ever been in love before.” She breathed a sigh of relief that she could finally let all of those concerns and expectations go. “I just go with my gut. Act on impulse, as your brother put it.”
“Uh, I’m not sure E was encouraging you to sleep around when he suggested—”
“But that’s just it. I’m not talking about sleeping around,” Grace said, shaking her head. “I’m talking about having more fun, challenging myself, adding more excitement to life. And that may or may not have anything to do with a guy.”
“Okkkaaaayyyy,” Bella said, still looking confused. “What are you proposing?”
“Last night, I did something impulsive. I rocked your brother’s world in the front seat of his Jeep.” She giggled at Bella’s look of surprise, since that was something Grace never would have shared before, even if she’d had the courage to do it. “And it was a-mazing.”
“Wow. That sounds like something he would do, but you? Never.”
“I know, right?” And the thrill of taking that risk still hadn’t worn off. “And I want to do more things like that.”
Bella laughed. “What? Exhibitionist sex with my brother?”
“For starters.” She winked. “Think about it. Who better than Ethan to get a little crazy with? We both know he’s, uh, experienced. And he’s not shy about experimenting.” She snorted. “Hell, he’s probably done it all, so nothing I could suggest would shock him.”
“Yeah, but you’re forgetting one little thing,” Bella said, raising her index finger. “You guys have history. Aren’t you worried things could get complicated?”
“No, not at all. That’s the beauty of an arrangement like this. Neither one of us are worried about the future, ‘cause we both know it can’t go anywhere. He has his life in KC, and I have mine here.”
“And you’ve told him this is what you want?”
Grace nodded, still proud of how bold she’d been. “Yup.”
“And how did he react?”
She grinned. “Well, he didn’t reject me, let’s put it that way. So I’m guessing he’s okay with it.”
Bella stood and gripped Grace’s shoulders. “You know I love you, right?”
She could feel a warning coming on. But for once, she wasn’t heeding it. She’d listen though. “Sure.”
“I just want you to be careful. You are who you are. And I love who you are. You don’t have to change for anyone.”
“But that’s just it,” she said, giving her friend a quick hug. “I’m not doing this for anyone else. For once, I’m doing something for me. And it feels incredible.” She squeezed Bella’s shoulders. “Honestly, I’m happy again. For the first time in a really long time. I feel free.”
Chapter Six
Ethan was watching hockey highlights in his living room when Bella burst in. She threw her oversized purse on the floor in his foyer before flopping down next to him on the couch and digging her hand into his popcorn bowl.
He glared at her out of the corner of his eye before holding the bowl just out of reach. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to knock?”
“What’s with the ‘tude? I thought you’d be in a good mood today.”
“Why’d you think that?” he asked, turning the volume up to drown her out.
“You got laid last night, didn’t you?”
He coughed when a piece of popcorn got stuck in his throat and reached for his beer to wash it down. “Where the hell did you hear that? Gracie told you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Who else would have told me, dumbass?”
He was still trying to process what had happened between them last night. As much as his body wanted more, his mind was throwing up all kinds of warning signs.
“How do you feel about this new outlook of hers?” Bella asked, reaching for a handful of popcorn when he set the bowl on the coffee table. “You cool with it?”
“Honestly? I don’t know what the hell to think. It’s weird, no?”
Bella shrugged. “She’s too young for a midlife crisis, so it can’t be that.”
“I didn’t think it was, Brainiac.”
“I think it’s like she said—she wants to cut loose a little. Not take life so seriously.”
In other words, she wanted to use him for sex. And strangely, he didn’t know how he felt about that. Sure, he would rather it be him than anyone else. But this was Gracie. A woman he’d once been in love with and still had strong feelings for. Could he really separate sex and sentiment with her?
“You think this has something to do with her breakup?” Even though they’d broken up two years ago, she had gone back to the guy, which meant there had to be lingering feelings.
“Maybe,” Bella said, munching away. “But it’s not so much that she’s on the rebound.”
“She better not be.” If he thought she was using him to get over some other guy, he’d lose it.
“What do you care?” Bella asked, looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “You agreed to her terms, didn’t you? Sex? No strings?”
“Is that what she told you?” He hadn’t agreed in so many words, not that he’d tried fighting her off when she climbed onto his lap. He was, after all, a guy. And she was a hot girl. Who’d once rocked his world. All. Night. Long. And well into the morning.
“That was the gist of it.”
“I don’t know what the hell to make of this.”
“You still have feelings for her.”
It wasn’t a question. His sister knew him well enough to know the truth without having to ask.
“Well yeah, we have a lot of history. Of course I still have feelings for her.”
She smiled as she stared at the screen. “She was your first love.” When he didn’t deny it, she said, “Your only love.”
It would have been smart to deny that claim, but he couldn’t. “There’ve been plenty of other women in my life since her,” he said, trying to make himself feel and sound… less path
etic. “It’s not like I’ve been waiting around for her—”
“To dump Dr. D-bag?” She laughed, elbowing him in the ribs. “You’re such a liar. That’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for.”
“I was engaged up until a few days ago, remember? Does that sound like a guy who was waiting around for—”
“Yes.” She munched as though she didn’t have a care in the world, pissing him off even more. “That’s exactly what it sounds like to me. You were trying to convince yourself that you were over her, that if she’d moved on, you could too. Except she really had moved on and you hadn’t. Issie was just a bed warmer for you. Dr. D was the real deal for Grace.”
“Like hell he was.” Ethan couldn’t allow himself to believe that her feelings for Dr. D in any way compared to the feelings she’d once had for Ethan. “She can barely stand to look at the guy now. It’s me she’s come back to.”
Bella shot him a warning look. “For sex, big brother. Just for sex. Don’t forget that.”
“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to convince me for years that Gracie’s the girl I belong with? So why, all of a sudden, do you seem to think a friends-with-benefits arrangement is the way to go?”
“Well,” she said, sizing him up, “I know Grace. Sex and love are synonymous for her. She may think she can do the dirty with you without falling for you again, but I know her better than that and you should too.”
He did. But what if Bella was wrong and the only broken heart at the end of this little experiment was his? He’d lived through that once. He didn’t think he could again. “But what if you’re wrong?”
She raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Then you’re not as good as you seem to think you are.”
“Shut up.” He sighed, disgusted. “I have no doubt I can make her remember why she fell for me. But what then?”
“You tell me.”
He was hoping she could tell him. When it came to women, in spite of years of experience, he was still clueless. That was why he had his sister. To clue him in. “You think she was really ready to settle down with that guy?”
Down the Line (Sports Romance) Page 7