Tell Me You Want Me

by Willow Winters

  Gail is less than impressed. “I need a moment,” is all she says before walking out, leaving that pit in my stomach to weigh heavier.

  That particular feeling only grows as the day progresses. Each time, it grows and grows until I feel like I could throw up.

  The rumor is confirmed within minutes. It’s easy to tell when each of them know.

  Dale was correct that Adrian does the firing, and not me, but it’s me who my coworkers come to for answers when it’s done. All of them are upset, and nothing I can say offers them any comfort.

  It’s as if my office becomes the place to vent. The place for them to safely unleash their anger. Unfortunately for me, it also appears to be the day the graphics department is getting culled.

  So one after the other pass snide looks my way before heading to their office with empty boxes to clear out their things.

  They just lost their jobs. I feel compassion for them, even the ones I didn’t get along with very well. Frustration mounts and I’m more upset than ever toward the end of the day.

  A woman who’s just been let go comes into my office at three. “What the hell, Suzette?” Her face is almost white, and her voice shakes from how upset she is. “Half of the department was just let go.”

  “He’s rearranging things,” I say helplessly. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Let me guess, there’s nothing you can do.”

  “I’m sorry,” is my only reply. I can’t give her anything else. I’m not the owner of the company; Adrian is, and I’m not even the second step down in the company. “I have no input or authority.”

  “Wonderful,” she says sarcastically. “Goodbye, Suzette.”

  A few minutes later, another person who has been fired storms across the hall. He turns his head and stares at me on his way past, but doesn’t say a word.

  It’s not until Gail comes back, taking her seat and appearing on the verge of tears. “If you knew something, you would tell me, right?” We’ve worked together for years and I’ve never seen her like this. Her tan skin is flushed. “If I’m going to lose my job, I just need to know so—” her voice cracks and I can’t take it.

  “The second I know anything—”

  “Could you ask him?” She stresses, “Please?” Her dark brown eyes are rimmed in red and I know she’s a mess witnessing so many layoffs so quickly and with whispers of a merger, where our jobs would no doubt overlap with others and thus, more layoffs.

  “Please,” she begs me. With a nod, and a tight swallow, I agree.

  “I can ask him,” I tell her and then I firm up my response. “I’ll ask him today.”

  Sitting here and waiting for an answer isn’t enough, not for me and not for the team members I have left. I’ve worked far too hard for this company to let it all go to shit like this. If we lose Gail, the report we put together today is irrelevant. Clients stay with us because of the team. We can’t break down like this.

  I won’t let it happen.

  At five forty-five, I knock on the door to Adrian’s office. Shaking out my hands, I prepare myself. Not the version of me he sees after six. But the version who existed before that man dared to walk through the doors to this building. The badass businesswoman who doesn’t take any shit.

  It’s a small blessing that his secretary is gone for the day and her desk is empty now. Most of the building is cleared out, but not everyone. And I have fifteen minutes. He can offer me fifteen minutes if it means saving the most profitable department in this company.

  “Come in,” Adrian calls from inside the office.

  Steeling myself, I open the door and go in, then close it behind me. The move is fast and I say a silent thank you that his door was unlocked.

  Before he can say a word, I approach his desk. It seems to take forever and the scent of people’s fear as they got fired today hangs in the air. His large, spacious office must have seemed like an awful joke to the people who lost their jobs. I could be one of them, and Adrian is the only one who can confirm my fear or dismiss it. That’s why I’m here. This conversation is needed, because I can’t sit at my desk for another day with nothing to say to the people I’ve worked with for years as they file out past me. I handpicked my department. They should be able to rely on me.

  “My department is essential to what our company does,” I begin, without waiting for his permission. I don’t need it outside of the games we play. “If you want to keep the company going, you’ll need to keep the core team intact. Every single one of them is essential, and I can vouch for them and their work.”

  Adrian shifts in his seat, his dark suit crisp, his expression inscrutable. As he leans back, his hands relaxed on the armrests, I wait for any reaction at all, but I’m given nothing.

  “Almost everyone I could part with is already gone, and my team won’t be able to keep functioning if we lose any more people. We’ve brought in the most revenue of any other department over the last few years, and you can expect more of the same over the next five years. We’re projected to triple our profits by then.”

  Adrenaline rages through me at the very fact that we will triple in only five years. There’s not a damn word I’ve said that’s exaggerated. My heart hammers in my chest as I stare back at Adrian’s cool gaze. Again, he doesn’t react other than to gesture to continue.

  “I’m damn good at my job, and I have good people, and we’re going to keep striving for excellence.”

  “Are you done?” he questions.

  “There’s no one who can do what we do and keep those clients. No one has the relationships we do. No one has the word of mouth that we do. Replacing any of us would be a mistake.”

  I swallow so hard, it’s audible and still, I’m given nothing.

  “Adrian.” I whisper his name, on the verge of breaking. Anger simmers but also a hurt I can’t describe.

  “We’re on the clock, Suzette,” he warns, the first sign of compassion noted in my name on his lips.

  “If you’re going to lay them off,” I say and swallow, “I need to be able to tell them. I need to know what’s going on.”

  “That’s what you came here for? To figure out who’s getting fired next?” His tone is unimpressed.

  “I want you to keep in mind that we’re a team. We work efficiently and our plan is solid; our performance speaks for itself.”

  He eyes me from across his desk, lips pursed. “You’ll have an answer when the team is ready.”

  Frustrated, I look him in the eye. “You could at least say you’ll consider it. You can at least tell me you’ll let me know if anyone is in danger.”

  “I won’t. It doesn’t matter, Suzette. The team is running the numbers. The numbers are what guide my decision, not emotions. Not a plan, but what has been done and what is comparable. You’re aware you have a list of clients, but they aren’t the only clients and even that list is sellable.”

  Heat spreads over the back of my neck. I’m burning with frustration and anger, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. “You’re heartless. You know what this means.”

  “And you know I bought this company for profit, and it’s been bleeding money for far too long.”

  I’m left speechless, staring at him with nothing but resentment.

  He won’t give in, and somehow it shocks me. I should have known this about Adrian Bradford. He takes what he wants and does what he wants.

  I knew that all too well when he fucked me on this desk the very first day we met. My heart hurts and I put my hand up to cover it, but it’s too late. The damage is already done. “I can’t believe you won’t even give me the respect of letting me know if my team is at risk of losing their livelihoods. If you’re just going to sell off the list, you could tell me that. I’m not fucking stupid. You would know if you already had a buyer.”

  Adrian folds his arms over his chest. “I listen because it means something to you. Do you think I would have let anyone else barge in here without a meeting?”

  That same sickness from earlier stir
s and I say nothing, knowing he’s the one who’s caused it.

  “There needs to be a … separation for us.”

  “How the hell am I supposed to separate this?” is all I can respond, my voice shaky.

  “I want you to be happy,” Adrian says simply, unfolding his arms and pushing the chair out from his desk slightly. “I want you to know I care for you.”

  There’s a pause, and my frustration grows again. He cares for me? But can’t answer a simple question? “They need to know as soon as possible so they can prepare,” I press further and Adrian doesn’t budge, his lips pressing into a thin line.

  “Would you really sleep with me one night and then fire me in the morning?” I question with my voice tight.

  “Suzette,” he says, his voice carrying a note of warning. He doesn’t say no.

  Betrayal seems to push out every other feeling I have, making my face hot and my chest hurt. I know a losing argument when I see one and I know Adrian won’t be convinced right now, but I can’t help myself. “The company—”

  “It’s after six, Suzette,” he replies, cutting me off. “You’ll have your answer when the team has consolidated numbers and risks.”

  “Oh,” I say with a bitter tone. “You can’t tell me now because you’re off the clock. Because it’s six, so now I’m just a lowly fuck toy for you to come in?” Even as the words escape my mouth, I know they cross the line.

  “You know that’s not why.” His statement is a string of carefully restrained anger, his grip tightening on the armrests, turning his knuckles white. Good. I hope he’s pissed off. I hope he’s upset like I am.

  “I would never speak to you like that,” he continues. “I would never treat you like you didn’t matter. You know that,” he tells me, his tone softening, his pale blue gaze pinning me. “And I don’t like you talking about yourself like that.”

  “How am I supposed to—”

  “You told me you could separate the two—” I cut him off before he can finish.

  “I’m trying to compartmentalize,” I argue back. He’s gripping the desk, obviously upset now. “I’m sorry. I need a moment and I think—” Just as I turn my back to him, ready to get the hell out of here so I can lose it alone in a bathroom stall, he speaks up.

  “No. We need to get out of here. We have dinner plans.”

  How am I supposed to sit through dinner like this with my stomach in knots and my face burning? I don’t think I can do it. “Maybe we shouldn’t tonight.”

  All my emotions tumble over me, filling my body and seeming to spill over into the room. Tears fill my eyes, but I don’t want to cry in front of Adrian. I don’t want to cry here in the office, where we’ve done so many things and where he keeps chipping away at my department and the company I’ve worked so hard to build.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t,” I say again weakly, and start to leave.

  His voice comes immediately, so deep and commanding that it stops me in my tracks. “Don’t you dare walk out that door.”

  Adrian

  I’m more than aware that there are employees still in the building. A few might be close enough to hear as Suzette bites out, “What the hell did you just say to me?”

  She’s visibly upset and spiraling. I’ve seen it before. A hundred times at least. Crying, cursing, screaming at me. I’ve been struck more than once.

  My skin blazes with both indignation and embarrassment. I don’t do squabbles in the office, I don’t have shouting matches with employees. Then again, I’ve never slept with anyone at the office before either. This is why. This is exactly why it was a mistake.

  With daggers in her eyes, Suzette stares back at me and says, “Did you just say, ‘don’t you dare?’” Her voice is deathly low and her gaze narrowed.

  Her breasts rise and fall, peeking through her blouse as she breathes in deeply, stalking back toward me.

  “I’d like you to calm down,” I say, keeping my tone gentle. The last thing I need is publicity or a lawsuit.

  Her eyes widen. “Calm down?” Outrage coats the two words. Fuck. I can’t do anything right by her. This is a lose-lose situation and she sure as hell knew it when she walked in those doors.

  I take in a steadying breath, standing from my seat, my dick hard, needing to fuck the anger out of both of us.

  “Suzette.” I speak her name as she stalks toward me.

  “I am struggling today.” Her words are frantic. “Watching coworkers pack up their offices, while others didn’t even come in. Do you know how many people have given their notice?”

  “Fourteen so far,” I answer without hesitation. “Change is difficult, uncertainty is difficult, doing my fucking job is difficult,” I stress, feeling the frustration rise.

  “What am I supposed to tell them, Adrian? Rumors are going around about us and they’re coming to me like I’m the one who did this,” she starts and before she can continue, I stop her in her tracks. Toe to toe I stand apart from her.

  “I am doing my best. If my best isn’t good enough, then they can go find better.” My words are stern and she acts as if they’ve struck her. Gripping her hips in both of my hands, I lower my lips to hers to say, “And if any of them have a problem with the two of us, tell them I want you more than anything. More than this company. More than profit, more than any fucking thing. I want you.”

  She’s silent, her wide blue eyes brimming with a mix of emotions. Her hands on my chest put distance between us, so I take them in my own.

  “I want you,” I repeat, my voice strained and the words raw. “I want you,” I tell her a third time, letting it sink in. “This will all be over soon, and when it is, I will still want you.”

  “Adrian,” she says and my name is a plea on her lips, like I’m begging her for something she can’t give me. Panic sets in, something I haven’t felt in a long damn time.

  She knew this was a possibility. I will vouch for her if something happens, but her résumé is impeccable. She will survive. I’ll make sure of it. But I cannot guarantee an entire department. I can’t promise her the things she’s asking for.

  “Tell me you want me.”

  “Adrian,” she whispers and her voice is pained. It’s unexpected and feels as if she’s struck me. I can’t remember a time when I've given her a command and she hasn’t obeyed.

  Moving my hands to hold her, one spearing through her hair and the other on the small of her back, I whisper in her hair before kissing her temple. “Tell me that you want me and I’ll make sure you get everything you need.”

  All I can hear is the sound of her swallowing. I can’t lose her over something like this. Something so insignificant. It’s significant to her, though.

  “It’s after six,” I remind her. “Come here, let me fuck the memory of that prick boss out of that pretty head of yours.”

  “Don’t,” she warns me and uncertainty clouds my judgment. Every inch of my skin is hot, anxiousness quickening my pulse.

  “Let it rest for one more night. I promise your department will be the priority tomorrow.” I shouldn’t have said that. The second the words are out of my mouth, I know I shouldn’t have spoken them.

  “You promise?”

  And still, I double down at the thought that it’s what she needed to hear. “I promise.”

  She pulls back, staring into my eyes. “You promise? Because I don’t think I can take much more of what happened today and as much as—”

  “I told you, you have my word.” With my pulse hammering, I bend to kiss her, deeply and desperately. I’ve lost the upper hand and I couldn’t care less. Her lips mold to mine, but she’s quick to break them.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers between us. Picking her ass up, I move her to the desk, her legs spread as I stand between them.

  She repeats, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come in when I was—”

  “Stop,” I say and then kiss her again.

  “No.” She pushes me back, breaking my hold on her and heaving in a breath. “I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you that I want you too. I do. I do, Adrian, and I’m sor—”

  With my finger pressed against her lips, I give her the command, “I said quiet.” Heat dances along my skin. Both of us pent up, both of us suffering from the way we came to be.

  Working the knot of my tie, I order her, “Lie back, with your hands by my chair.”

  She doesn’t hesitate, eager to make it up to me.

  My mind whirls with the implications of what’s happened in the last hour, but I can barely focus on anything other than taking back control.

  “You’ll be quiet,” I tell her in a whisper, steadying my breath as I use my tie to form a handcuff knot and stalk around to the other side of the desk. Slipping both of her hands through, I tighten them and then order, “Above your head.”

  She doesn’t object and although the loose end is short, I’m able to tie it to the drawer handle. Lying flat on her back across the desk, her hands above her head, she has to bend her knees so her heels balance on the edge of the desk.

  “What am I going to do to you?” I round the desk, loving how she looks.

  This is better. This is how she should be.

  With a hand on each of her hips, I drag her so her ass is at the edge of the desk. Her gasp fuels me further. Reaching up her skirt, I bunch it and drag her panties down her ass until they’re free from her and a pile of lace on the floor.

  “Spread your legs,” I command and she obeys.

  I position her heels how I want them, her legs spread as wide as she can. Fucking gorgeous. Her cunt is right there for the taking. Standing between her thighs, I unbutton her blouse one button at a time, exposing her blush-colored bra. I wish I’d taken it off before I thought to have her lie down. Her breathy pants are additive.

  “This is how I want you in this office after hours.”

  Dipping the cups down, I free each breast, plucking and pinching her nipples and taking my time to play with them.

  “My plaything, mewling for me.”

  “Adrian—”