A Future and a Hope

by David Mathews

That afternoon in Mr. Grossman’s sixth period economics class, Caleb occupied his assigned seat but his mind was occupied elsewhere. He thought about how Ellie had started opening up when they were cut short by the bell.

  Lord, please give me another opportunity like that. I know patience is a fruit of the Spirit, but sooner than later would be greatly appreciated!

  He was sure God had a sense of humor. When the final bell of the day sounded, Caleb shot out of the seventh period and sprinted down the hallway toward his locker.

  “Where’s the fire, Sawyer?” The familiar cry of the exasperated biology teacher rose above the growing din that filled the corridor.

  “Sorry, Mr. Hartsock!”

  He dialed the combination on his locker and tugged repeatedly on the handle. With one definitive yank the jammed door with #134 on the front flew open, and several books, a ball of gym clothes, and a half-empty bottle of sport drink rushed out to eagerly welcome their owner home.

  B.J. came up behind him as he tried to reload the items back into the limited space. “You need two lockers, bro! You oughta see if Karen will rent you half of hers.”

  His friend bent over and picked up a tightly folded piece of paper. “You dropped something.”

  “No kidding!” Caleb retorted, his head buried inside his locker.

  “No, I mean this must have fallen out of your locker. It has your name on it.” Caleb straightened up and looked at the small white object in his friend’s hand.

  B.J. scrutinized the tiny square of paper. “Looks like a girl’s handwriting.” He sniffed at it. “Smells like a girl, too!”

  “Gimme that!” Caleb grabbed the note out of B.J.’s hand and stuffed it into his jeans pocket.

  “Hey, aren’t you even gonna read it?” his pal queried. “It might be something important. Like a marriage proposal or something.”

  “Shut up!” Caleb took a backhanded swipe at his friend, who managed to duck just in time. The pair left school in Caleb’s car. After dropping off B.J. at his house, and denying countless requests to investigate the contents of the note that was burning a hole in his pocket, Caleb pulled back into the school parking lot to go watch football practice. But before exiting his car, he pulled out the note and unfolded it.

  The handwriting looked familiar. He’d seen it before. On a scholarship application, maybe? Checking to make sure his windows were closed, he read it out loud:

  Caleb, you had the courage and decency to ask me to meet with you so we could ‘clear the air’ between us and move on with our senior year. You have proven to me that you have a lot of integrity, and that you are someone I can trust. That’s not an easy thing for me to say. But I don’t want to go through the rest of the year feeling like I have to avoid your questions all the time, either. Unlike you, I am asking you for a second chance at a friendship. I know that’s what you want. If you agree to this, meet me at Riverside Park in the gazebo tomorrow after school at 4:00. That should give you time to think it over. If you’re not there, then I’ll just have to keep after you until you show up! ~Ellie

  CHAPTER FIVE

  FLYING HIGH UNTIL THE WINGS FALL OFF

  SCHOOL ON TUESDAY WAS A real drag for Caleb. His classes—even the few he normally looked forward to—were nothing but a line of unavoidable obstacles that had to be cleared in order to get to four o’clock. Time seemed to pass at a fraction of its usual pace, as if he were in the Twilight Zone or something. When the academic agony came to a merciful end, it was all Caleb could do to keep within the speed limit, both in the Baxter High hallway and on the road to B.J.’s house. After dropping off his friend, he drove to Riverside Park, one of several municipal green spaces in Baxter located across town from his subdivision and next to the Flint River near Ellie’s neighborhood.

  Rain began to fall as his two-tone sedan with the hail damage cruised slowly down the main road of the park, winding its way to the small parking lot near the river’s edge.

  Caleb parked close to the gazebo. He sat in his car and watched the water drops trickle down the windshield. A glance at his cell phone confirmed that he was almost twenty minutes early. As he waited for Ellie to arrive, he wondered what she would reveal about herself. He was glad she had initiated this meeting. That meant she was feeling more at ease with him.

  He opened the dash compartment where he had stashed her note, and read through it for the twelfth time. “You have proven to me that you have a lot of integrity, and that you are someone I can trust.”

  Somehow reading those words in her own handwriting meant more to him than if she’d texted them. Of course, she wouldn’t have done that. She didn’t have his phone number, nor he hers. But he hoped she would soon feel comfortable enough to share that information with him, also.

  Through the raindrop distorted glass of the passenger side window, he saw a lone figure in a hooded rain jacket hurrying toward him on the walking path adjacent to the road he’d just traversed. It was Ellie, and she was carrying a flat object wrapped in what looked like a plastic garbage bag.

  He exited his vehicle and made a dash for the gazebo, as though his speed might somehow save him from a few more drops of rain. He made a mental note to keep a spare jacket in his car from now on.

  Ellie ducked into the gazebo. “I’m glad you’re here. I wondered if you would show up at all, with it raining and everything.”

  Caleb arched his eyebrows as high as possible. “What? And run the risk of you hounding me until I did? Not a chance!”

  She broke into laughter. “Oh, that! You know I would have, too! Have you been waiting long?” She flipped back her hood and shook the water off the plastic-wrapped package in her hand.

  “I got here a little early. Came straight from B.J.’s house. His is the last stop on his bus route, so I usually drop him off after school.”

  “That’s decent of you. I’ll bet he appreciates it.” Ellie smiled approvingly. “So I guess you really are one of the nicest guys in school after all!”

  “That’s the nicest, Ellie. The nicest!” He couldn’t resist correcting her.

  She laughed again. It was quite becoming of her. “I’ll take your word for it!” She gave her package one final shake and removed an artist’s sketchpad from the plastic bag. “I brought some of my drawings to show you like I promised. Although this weather makes the paper a little damp.”

  The two of them sat down at the picnic table in the center of the gazebo. For the first time they sat on the same side. Ellie opened the sketch book and began showing Caleb some of her art work. He immediately recognized some of the locations that had inspired her drawings: the courthouse clock tower on the town square, the memorial statue at the entrance to Veteran’s Park, St. John’s Church with its two-hundred-year old architecture, the gazebo in which they were sitting.

  It was obvious that she was a very gifted and talented artist, and he was quite impressed. “Has Mrs. Sinclair seen these?”

  “No. They’re just for me. It’s kind of therapeutic, I guess. I go somewhere and draw when I want to get away from things.” She grew introspective. “From certain people, I mean.”

  Caleb felt he should pursue that further, but something else popped into his mind instead. “Do you have any more of these drawings?”

  “I’ve got stacks of them at home. Mostly pencil and charcoal sketches, but some watercolors, too. I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember. I don’t have some of my earlier ones, though. I’ve moved around quite a bit, and a lot of them have disappeared over the years.”

  “I think you ought to show them all to Mrs. Sinclair. She might be able to help you get an art scholarship or something. I’m sure she has connections with the art world, or at least she would know how to pursue that.”

  Ellie looked a little skeptical. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought they were anything special. I just live in the moment, and draw what I see and feel.” She paused for a moment. “Do you really think they’re good enough to show her?”

  “Are y
ou kidding? I mean, I’m no artist or anything. Me, I can draw only stick figures!” Ellie laughed at his self-deprecating humor. “But I think these drawings are good enough to sell! Anyway, Mrs. Sinclair would be the one to tell you how good they really are.” Then he added, “Don’t sell yourself short, Ellie.”

  “Thank you for believing in me, Caleb.” She sounded genuinely grateful. “I guess I don’t have much self-confidence when it comes right down to it.”

  He wondered if her past, to which she had alluded, had anything to do with that. “When you said you draw to get away from certain people, did you mean the people you live with now?” As soon as the words left his mouth, Caleb feared he’d replaced them with his foot. But surprisingly, Ellie’s only reaction was a sigh.

  “Yes. They’re definitely one of the reasons. But I’m not sure there’s time to go into all that.”

  Caleb gave her a reassuring shrug. “I don’t have anywhere else I need to be!”

  She smiled, and then focused on the sketchbook on the table in front of them.

  “Caleb, I don’t like talking about myself. There are things in my past that are, well . . . painful for me to remember.” She stopped suddenly, and then turned to face him. He could have sworn there was a twinkle in her eye. “But then, I did ask you to meet me here, didn’t I?”

  For the next two hours, surrounded by a gray shroud of falling rain, the only two people in Riverside Park sat huddled together under the gazebo. Perhaps it was the downpour that provided Ellie with the privacy needed to open up to Caleb. Her story came spilling out like long-held-back water suddenly released from a dam.

  “I was born in Hickory, Virginia. It’s just a wide spot in the road, really. My mother was eighteen at the time and not married. My father . . . ” Ellie stopped as if the word was bitter to her taste. “My father abandoned us before I turned two. I don’t remember him at all.”

  Caleb shook his head. “How did your mom manage? I mean, being that young and single and everything.”

  “She did the best she could. Her family completely shut us out of their lives. They wanted nothing to do with us, so she pretty much raised me without any help. I remember a babysitter while she was at work, but that’s it. She worked as a waitress and a motel maid to support us. But then she was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away at the age of twenty-five. Just before my seventh birthday. Her name was Katherine.”

  Caleb empathized with her. “That must have been very difficult for you. Who took care of you after that?”

  “Well, none of my relatives wanted the responsibility, so they tossed me into the state welfare system. I was shuffled between several foster care facilities. That was a nightmare!” Ellie gazed at the curtain of rain surrounding the gazebo. “I recall living in an orphanage for about two years before they placed me with three different families in Virginia. Then, when I was fourteen, I moved in with a foster family in Charlotte. But after a year of being physically abused, I was removed and placed with my current foster parents. Their names are Tony and Beverly Markle. They moved to Charleston when I was sixteen. Then four months ago they suddenly pulled up stakes and moved here. Just before school started. They won’t tell me why.”

  Caleb could see the hurt in Ellie’s eyes and could hear the pain in her voice as she talked about her life. He wished there was some way he could have learned about it without having her relive the past. Now he understood why she was so careful to avoid others. Keeping this to herself all these years must have been nearly unbearable. But the fact that she had chosen to confide in him was not lost on Caleb. He silently thanked God for her willingness to open up, but feeling the weight of that responsibility, also asked for the wisdom to know what to do about it.

  Ellie suddenly looked embarrassed. She glanced sideways at him. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to carry on like that.”

  “Don’t apologize,” he reassured her. “I’m glad you shared that with me. I think I understand you a little better now.”

  “Well, thanks for listening, anyway. I haven’t met too many guys who cared about listening, especially to a girl. They usually only cared about—well, you get the picture.” Caleb nodded, and she continued. “But you’re different. I don’t mean just about listening. You really care about people, don’t you? And you have a . . . a confidence that isn’t put-on or fake.”

  It was a good thing that Ellie was not omniscient. “Ellie, all that bragging about me being the nicest guy in school, you know I’m just trying to be funny, right? Truth is, I’m really no different than anyone else. The Bible says we’re all sinners, and I’m just like everyone else when it comes to that. If you see a difference in me, I hope it’s Jesus you’re seeing. When I gave my life to Him, He made me a new person, and that’s why I’ve changed. Anything in me that’s good comes from Him.”

  “Well, you’re one of the few people I’ve ever met who actually practices what he preaches. I wish I had your confidence about life.”

  “Any confidence I have is not in me, Ellie. It’s in Christ! And His love for me.”

  Ellie contemplated his words. “I know you really believe that. And I’m happy for you. I wish I could believe that, too. But I honestly don’t understand something. How can I believe that God loves me when He allows bad things to happen to me? Can you explain that?”

  “I don’t claim to have all the answers. But I do know that all the bad and evil in this world exists because of sin. God created a perfect world, but we’re the ones who messed it up.”

  “Then why doesn’t He do something about it?” she asked in all sincerity.

  Caleb thought carefully before answering. “He did, Ellie. God didn’t just say ‘I love you’. He proved it! Do you know what John three sixteen says?”

  Ellie rolled her eyes. “Yes, everybody knows that one.” She grinned. “Even me! I went to Sunday School when I was in the first grade. But I’ve never really had much use for the Bible. Not since my mother died.”

  “‘For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son.’ That’s just one of many. ‘But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.’”

  “You ought to be a preacher!” she teased. Then she grew serious again. “But isn’t it easier to believe all that when you’ve had a good life? I mean, you have two parents who care about you. You have a nice family, and a home, and lots of friends, and your way paid to college, and a car. What about people like me who haven’t had any of that? People who’ve lost someone close to them, or who’ve experienced awful things in their life, or who’ve never had anyone love them. It’s not as easy for them to believe in God the way you do.”

  “Do you know Allison Wentworth? She’s a girl in my church youth group who lives with her grandma and grandpa. Both her parents were killed in a traffic accident when she was thirteen. But that didn’t stop her from believing in God. Don’t be fooled by appearances, Ellie. A lot of us have suffered loss in one way or another, and we still believe that God loves us. In some ways, those difficult experiences make His loving-kindness more precious than ever!”

  Ellie looked puzzled. “You said ‘us’. How would you know? Your life seems just about perfect from where I’m sitting.”

  Caleb smiled, but the old familiar sadness crept in. “I do have a lot to be thankful for, that’s for sure. But I’ve experienced loss in my life, too.”

  “What kind of loss?” Ellie seemed almost afraid to ask.

  Caleb paused and took a deep breath. “I lost my brother when I was ten.”

  Ellie’s eyes widened. “You . . . you had a brother? But I thought it was just you and your sister.”

  “It’s just the two of us now. But I had a brother named Calvin, who was three years younger than me. We were up north one summer on vacation, visiting my cousins. One day we all went swimming in Lake Michigan. My brother wandered off down the shore a ways and chased a beach ball into the water where there were no lifeguards. The undertow swept him out before anyone could reach
him, and he drowned. He was only seven.”

  Tears welled up in Ellie’s eyes and trickled down her cheeks. “Caleb, I don’t know what to say. I had no idea! I’m so sorry!” As she wiped her eyes with her sleeve, he resisted the urge to put his arm around her. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

  “Ever since you told me about losing your mother, I’ve wanted to tell you I understand how you feel. But I was afraid you’d think I was playing on your sympathies. You know, to get you to like me. Besides, it’s not something my family talks about much.”

  “The hurt never completely goes away, does it?”

  “Not completely, I guess. I know I’ll always miss him.”

  “How did your family handle his . . . his loss?”

  “Well, there were a lot of tears and sadness for sure. It still hurts when I think about losing Cal. But three months before he drowned, he gave his life to Jesus, so we know he’s in heaven. That’s very comforting. Beyond that, I’d have to say it was God’s love and grace that carried us through. I remember the preacher at his funeral read a verse that says we shouldn’t sorrow in the same way as those who have no hope.”

  “No hope of what? Of seeing their loved ones again?”

  “I think so. We miss them because they’re gone. But for the Christian, it’s only a temporary separation.” Caleb could see that Ellie was profoundly impacted by this. She remained quiet and reflective for some time.

  Ellie finally broke the silence. “So, I guess what you’re saying is I can still believe God loves me no matter what bad things have happened, right?”

  “Yes, and that other people care about you, too.”

  She smiled warmly, and placed her hand on his forearm. “I know you do!” Ellie hastily withdrew her hand and blushed noticeably.

  Caleb added quickly, “I didn’t mean just me.” He grinned, “But that includes me! You know Kelli Anderson, don’t you?”

  “The girl who sits at your lunch table?”

  “Yeah. I’ve known her since third grade. I drive her to youth group every Wednesday night. She’s one who’d like to make friends with you.”