A Future and a Hope

by David Mathews

  “Okay, now I’m the curious one. What’s it about?”

  Ellie set down her fork, wiped her mouth with her napkin, and launched into her narrative. “It always starts with my mother and me sitting on a green swing on the small porch of a tiny bungalow. I get that part. That’s a favorite childhood memory of mine before she died. But then she goes into the house, and this old woman comes out instead. I don’t know who she is or why she replaces my mother.”

  “Are you afraid of her?”

  “No, she’s very sweet. What you’d expect a kindly old grandmother to be like. And she always brings me cookies.”

  Caleb felt a familiar chill run down his spine. “Then what?” he asked.

  “Well, when she sets the tray of cookies down next to me, I look around, and I’m no longer at the same tiny bungalow. I’m on this big porch of an old three-story home. You know the kind. White gingerbread trim and everything. Anyway, as I take a cookie, I notice that I’m not alone on the swing any more. There’s a guy sitting next to me. But I don’t know how old he is or what he looks like. His face is always in the shadows. I can never quite make it out.”

  Caleb sat up straight and leaned forward. “Does this guy say anything to you?”

  Ellie caught the anticipation in his voice and shot him a look of amazement. “Why, yes he does, actually. It’s the only dialogue in the whole dream sequence. He says, ‘I’ll always be there for you, Ellie!’ I remember that because he calls me by name. And then he simply vanishes right before my eyes. That’s when I wake up.”

  “Wow, that’s interesting. You say the first part is a memory you shared with your mother?”

  “Yes, I’ve had that memory long before the dreams started. What I don’t understand is the significance of the old woman or the guy. Do you suppose they’re memories, too? Or just general representations of some sort of . . . some sort of theme or something?”

  Caleb shifted uneasily in his seat. “I’m not sure. I’m no expert on the subject of dreams, but I’ve heard that sometimes they’re the subconscious mind’s way of working out a conflict or a stress from real life. What do you think?”

  “I think it might be related to the trauma of the accident in some way. I don’t recall having this dream before then. I don’t know.” She shook her head in frustration. “I hate not being able to remember things.”

  Caleb desperately wanted to tell her that it wasn’t a dream she was having, but a memory. All of it.

  “You’re probably right about it being related to the accident,” he nodded in agreement. Then, to ease her frustration, he added with a grin, “Just be glad there’s no boogey man in your dream waiting to grab you at the bottom of the stairs.”

  Caleb and Ellie’s first date went very well. Both enjoyed each other’s company so much that neither paid much attention to the action on the hardwood seventeen rows below them. During the game, he learned that Ellie had begun attending a small church a few miles from the apartment where she lived. Since he hadn’t yet had time to find a church home in Atlanta, he asked if he could attend with her on Sunday. She was pleased that he was interested, and readily agreed.

  He offered to pick her up, but she said she’d rather meet him there. He wondered if that was because she was hesitant about him meeting her father, just as she’d been hesitant about him meeting the Markles during their senior year. And just as he’d wanted then to help her escape her foster parents’ cruelties, he wanted now, more than ever, to help her escape her father’s clutches.

  As the two began to see more of each other, Caleb continued praying about their future. When the opportunity presented itself, he mentioned people and places and events from the last four years, hoping that those specifics might trigger Ellie’s memories of their past relationship. But she seemed no closer to recalling their former life than she did when he surprised her on the elevator.

  Discouragement often lurked in the shadows of his spirit following those conversations, but he accepted the fact that she might never recall those lost years, and was grateful for the new beginning God was allowing them to experience together. Several weeks later, before a Friday night date, Ellie texted him.

  “Can you pick me up? My father needs the SUV tonight.”

  “Sure. I’ll be there at six,” he responded.

  Caleb eased his Camaro to the curb in front of 4391 Cannondale Avenue at exactly six o’clock.

  He shot Ellie a text letting her know he was out front. When she didn’t reply, he texted her again.

  A few minutes later she answered. “Just out of shower. Held over @ work. Shoulda called earlier. Sorry! Come in & meet my father. Ready in 20.”

  He wanted to tell her he’d rather wait outside, but he didn’t know how to explain his reluctance for meeting the man. Besides, he’d have to face him sooner or later anyway. It might as well be now.

  “OK. Take your time. No rush,” he texted back.

  Offering up a quick prayer, he got out of his car and walked up the steps to the front door of Apartment 1C. His previous meeting with John Smith was very much on his mind.

  Although his face bore no trace of the deep purple shiner, his left eye socket was still sensitive to the touch.

  Caleb rang the bell.

  John Smith, holding a beer in one hand, answered the door wearing an old pair of jeans and a muscle shirt. He stared at Caleb in slack jawed disbelief for what seemed like an eternity.

  “You! You’re her date?” Slowly, like fog creeping across a harbor, crimson crept across his pallid face. His eyes became smoldering reptilian slits of pure evil. Shooting a quick glance over his shoulder, he turned on Caleb with all the venom of a poisonous serpent. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face here!” he hissed. “I warned you what might happen if you came around here again. What’s the matter, boy? Can’t you take a hint?”

  Caleb stared back into those dark, hate filled eyes. He felt no animosity towards the man whatsoever. Only pity.

  “I expected you to be surprised to see me again,” Caleb began. “Even angry. But listen, can’t we set aside our differences for the time being? At least for Ellie’s sake? She knows nothing about our last meeting.”

  John looked at him suspiciously. “You mean you haven’t told her? Why not?”

  “Because I don’t think she’s ready for the truth. She’s too fragile right now.”

  “Just what have you told her?” her father demanded.

  Caleb made sure to keep his voice low. “You mean about all the other stuff? The lies and deception? Nothing. I’ve told her nothing at all. Not even who I am. Mr. Smith, as far as she’s concerned, I’m just a guy she met a few weeks ago. She doesn’t know anything about our past together.”

  “Do you plan on telling her?”

  “At some point in the future, maybe. If and when I think she can handle it.”

  Ellie’s father stared silently at him. Caleb could see the wheels turning in the man’s mind. A sudden shiver came over him. Had he said too much? What would the man do now that he knew that his daughter was still in the dark about his deceptive schemes against Caleb and his family? That she still knew nothing of her past relationship with Caleb? What lengths would he go to in order to keep that information from her, so that he could continue cashing in on her misfortune? What was Mr. Smith capable of?

  An icy fear gripped Caleb. In his mind’s eye he pictured the man smoothing things over for the moment with his slick acting talents, only to buy time to formulate a plan for Caleb’s cold and calculated demise. He would have to be on his guard.

  John suddenly changed his tone. “I think you’re right not to tell her anything. Like you said, for her sake.” It sounded like he really meant those words.

  Caleb gave him the benefit of the doubt. “I’m glad you see it that way too.”

  The man, however, was not finished. “I can’t do anything about tonight. Not without upsetting her, anyway.” He stepped across the threshold and leaned in closer. Caleb smelled the
alcohol on his breath. “But I can do something about tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I said I agreed she’s not ready for the truth right now. The fact is, I don’t think she’ll ever be ready for the truth. The doctors tell me it’s likely she’ll never remember the past.”

  John Smith’s words hit Caleb harder than his fist had. But he refused to go down without a fight. “But as long as there’s still the chance that she will—”

  “Forget it, boy!” Dropping the benevolent father act, the man cut him off midstream. “Her amnesia is permanent. You’re going to have to accept that fact.”

  As Caleb wrestled with how to respond, John issued an ultimatum. “I want you to stop seeing my daughter. I don’t care how you do it or what excuse you come up with. But I want this thing ended for good after tonight. I can’t run the risk of her finding out. Like you said, it’s for her protection.” He squinted menacingly into Caleb’s face. “If you don’t take my advice this time, I predict something worse than a black eye will be in your future. You got that?”

  So there it was.

  He’d just been struck in the face with the gauntlet. He was being challenged to a dual. But Caleb refused to back down. Instead, he met her father’s gaze with unwavering boldness.

  “Mr. Smith, you can threaten me all you want, but I’m going to keep on seeing Ellie no matter what you say or do. I promised her a long time ago that I would always be here for her, and I mean to keep that promise!” He shook his head. “But you don’t have to worry. If what you say about her memory proves to be true, then I don’t plan on telling her. Ever. To her I will always be the new guy she met a few weeks ago.”

  Ellie’s father was not convinced. “I don’t believe you. You’ll never keep the truth to yourself. If I was in your shoes, I’d have told her everything by now. Just to get even.”

  The real character of John C. Smith finally revealed itself. But Caleb was prepared for him this time.

  “Mr. Smith, I can’t get even with you because I hold no grudges against you. None whatsoever.”

  Ellie’s father glared at him. “That’s just not possible. Not after what’s happened between us.”

  Caleb was quick to respond, “Oh, but it is. It’s possible because I’ve already forgiven you for what you’ve done to me. For keeping Ellie away from me, for deceiving my family and me . . . and Ellie, and for punching me in the face. Everything.”

  The man was stunned, but still unconvinced. “Why . . . why would you even do that?” he muttered.

  Caleb smiled at him. “It’s simple. You see, when Jesus was hanging on the cross, He forgave those who nailed Him there. He also forgave me. And He’s forgiven Ellie. By now I’m sure you’ve seen evidence of that in her life. And He says we’re to forgive others in the same way He’s forgiven us. That’s why I’ve chosen to forgive you.”

  For the first time Caleb could recount, and probably for the first time in John Smith’s entire life, the man was at a loss for words.

  “I see you two have met.” John spun around and stared as Ellie approached them on the front stoop. She stopped in the doorway and glanced between Caleb and her father. There was an awkward silence.

  “Is . . . is everything all right?” She looked first to her father, and then to Caleb.

  Caleb glanced at John and nodded. “Yes. Everything’s fine. We were just talking.”

  “Yeah, just talking,” her father murmured, managing a forced little smile.

  Caleb turned his attention to Ellie. Her auburn hair was full bodied and had that just-washed silky sheen to it. She wore a simple pair of silver hoop earrings and was dressed to go out for the evening. She looked as beautiful as ever to him.

  “I see you’re ready,” he smiled reassuringly. Then he offered his arm. “Shall we go?”

  “What were you and my father talking about?” Ellie asked, once they were in the car heading to their destination. “There seemed to be some tension between you two.”

  Caleb shot her a sideways glance. She had a puzzled frown on her face. “Oh, you know. We were just having a conversation. About you.” He sighed. “I wouldn’t say your father was exactly overjoyed with the idea of me taking you out,” he stated truthfully.

  Ellie scowled. “You see what I mean? He treats me like that all the time. Like I’m not even old enough to go on dates. I can’t decide if he’s afraid of me getting hurt or if he’s just plain selfish. Sometimes I get the feeling he only cares about my money and not about me.”

  Caleb and Ellie’s budding relationship began to blossom. They saw one another regularly in spite of her father’s objections. They met for lunch three or four days a week, went on dates nearly every weekend, and attended the little church together on Sundays.

  One day over lunch, Ellie told Caleb that she no longer had use of the SUV. When her father learned she was still seeing him, he became so angry that he refused to let her drive it. He said she needed to trust that he had her best interests at heart. When that tactic failed to quell her anger, he reminded her that even though the vehicle had been purchased with her money, it was titled in his name, and therefore he had every right to decide who could or couldn’t drive it.

  Caleb shared Ellie’s pain. He could see her being sucked into the same stressful vortex of emotional and mental abuse that had nearly broken her while in the foster care system. He’d been pleasantly surprised to see some of the old fire in her eyes recently, but he could tell the conflict with her father was taking its toll.

  John Smith was unable to stop his adult daughter from leaving the apartment on foot, so Caleb resorted to picking her up around the corner whenever they wanted to go out together. At times he felt downright cowardly about it, but he knew it wasn’t a matter of fear. He was just trying to avoid unnecessary stress between them and her father.

  One Saturday afternoon, following a visit to a local art exhibit, Caleb and Ellie took a stroll through the gardens adjacent to the gallery. As they enjoyed a treat from a sidewalk vendor, Ellie caught him off guard.

  “I’ve decided to start looking for an apartment,” she announced out of the blue.

  He turned and stared at her. “Has it gotten that bad at home?”

  Her eyes misted over. She turned away and watched two nearby children tossing a Frisbee. “Yes it has. It’s gotten to the point where it’s just about unbearable.” She turned back to him and declared, “Caleb, I don’t think I can stand to live another day with him!”

  Caleb’s mind flashed back to her struggles with the Markles during their senior year in high school. She’d expressed the same sentiment then. He grew alarmed.

  “What’s he done? Has he hurt you?” Anger welled up inside him. “Because if he’s so much as laid a finger on you, I’ll—”

  Ellie grabbed his arm. “Oh no, nothing like that. He knows better.” She sighed deeply. “But it’s just as painful as that. Ever since he learned I was going out with you, he’s become extremely manipulative and controlling. Remember what I told you about him refusing to let me use the car?”

  Caleb nodded.

  “Well, it’s gotten worse since then. He’s always agitated now. Irritable. Angry, even. He yells a lot and threatens me if I don’t stop seeing you. And he’s drinking heavily all the time. Most days he’s already sloshed when I come home from work.”

  “Ellie, I’m so sorry,” Caleb empathized with her. A knot formed in his stomach.

  This self-centered man is taking out his hostility toward me on his own daughter, he thought to himself. He doesn’t care about losing her. Only her income.

  He put his hand on hers. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  Ellie’s face brightened and she smiled at him. “As a matter of fact, there is. Can you help me look for a place to live?”

  “Absolutely. I’d be happy to. The sooner you get away from him, the better. I’ll take you anywhere you need to go to look for an apartment.” He grinned to li
ghten the mood. “I don’t think your father is gonna do that for you.”

  Ellie laughed out loud. “I seriously doubt it.”

  Together they began the search for an apartment for Ellie. Caleb took her to look at several possibilities, but for one reason or another, those didn’t pan out. Undaunted, they kept looking. Something was bound to open up soon.

  He continued clinging to the hope that she would someday regain her memory of him and their four years together. That, and Ellie’s desire for a small-town lifestyle and a less stressful work environment were at the core of the plan forming in his mind. If he could just get her to visit Baxter with him, perhaps the experience would help jar her memory of their life together there.

  The search for an apartment continued in earnest, but strangely, they couldn’t find an available place suitable for Ellie. The two of them were faithfully praying together about the move, but it seemed as if every door on which they knocked stayed tightly closed. In spite of this, they remained encouraged, believing that God would provide the right place at the right time.

  It was the first week in February when Caleb began thinking about Valentine’s Day. Their relationship had been growing steadily ever since that first lunch encounter, and he wanted to do something special for her. Something besides flowers and chocolates.

  So he asked her to accompany him to Baxter for the Valentines weekend. It would be good for her to get away from the caustic environment in apartment 1C and get out of Atlanta for a few days.

  Caleb parked his Camaro in front of 4391 Cannondale Avenue. It was five o’clock. Ellie was not only eager to get away from her father and the city, she was anxious to see the small town where Caleb had grown up.

  After sharing his plans with his parents, he’d called Miss Cora to ask if Ellie could stay with her Friday and Saturday night. The widow had been ecstatic with the news that Ellie was coming back to town, and happily offered her former bedroom. The old woman had not been able to bring herself to seek another boarder, saying she would always consider that room to be Ellie’s. Other than Ellie’s personal effects, which were still being stored in the Sawyer’s garage, Miss Cora had left the room untouched.