Meet Me In the Middle

by Vani Mahesh

  ‘Are they?’ Sanju spun around. ‘Why did you have to do yoga in that godforsaken gazebo? Why did you have to play tennis now when all you wanted in high school was to run away from it?’

  Anu stared at him. ‘What happened to you after moving here? Can’t you see right from wrong? Shouldn’t you be supporting me instead of that property manager?’

  ‘That is Sameer for you, Anu. Whether you are right or wrong, he will jump in to support you. I have brains.’ Sanju shook his head in what looked like part disgust and part distress.

  ‘That is so mature and kind and—’ The right word came to her after Sanju was gone —modest. Which Sanju was anything but at the moment. Fuming, Anu gulped her coffee and made another tall cup. She needed all the caffeine to get her through the day.

  When she showed up at the gazebo, the old folk had already gathered and were warming up. Pooja was there as well with someone who looked eerily like an older and a stern version of her. The woman had her hair in a braid, wore a bindi, track pants and sneakers. ‘Hi aunty, this is my mom. Mom, Anu aunty.’

  Oh god. What now? Is she going to accuse me of derailing Pooja? To Anu’s relief, the woman smiled. A nice and friendly smile. ‘Thank you, Anu. You have been a great influence on Pooja. So I thought I would say hello to you before going on my walk.’

  Anu blushed. ‘Oh, no. I … well, Pooja is a great kid. You have raised her well.’

  ‘I saw the note you got from the management. Don’t worry. They are all empty threats.’

  Anu nodded. ‘But threats, empty or otherwise, scare me!’

  ‘Don’t worry. I will meet you after my walk. We will have coffee together.’

  ‘I thought your mother was here to yell at me,’ said Anu rolling her mat.

  ‘Well, my mom is happy that I am off the bed before noon and moving my muscles.’ Pooja grinned. ‘She might give you a reward!’

  When they sat down for coffee, Anu looked at the tennis court. It held no charm without Pete. She sipped her coffee silently, letting Pooja’s mother talk.

  ‘You know that Meena is behind that notice, right? The property manager is a good friend of hers.’

  Anu took another sip of the hot coffee. ‘I guessed so. But why is she so angry with me? All I did was meet her for one disastrous dinner.’

  Pooja’s mother shook her head. ‘If Meena does not like you, that always means you are good. She gets vindictive if she feels threatened. That someone might take away her unofficial crown of being the Queen of Verdant Green.’

  Anu laughed. ‘We are the poor tenants of Verdant Green. Where do I have the army to take away her throne? Can I go tell her that?’

  ‘See, Pete was very aloof and kept to himself here but he took to you. You both became great friends. That was unbearable to Meena. How could someone pass her up for you? Then, your yoga crowd adores you. That was another blow to her pride. So she is just resorting to all means to be nasty to you.’

  Anu didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry at this saga that was getting fiercer than the war of the Mahabharatha. ‘Hope Meena realizes soon that I am not here to take away anybody’s non-existent throne and crown! I am barely surviving.’

  As she walked back home, all the fight had left her. Sleeping in her old bedroom at her parents’ house began to feel so appealing, it was scary.

  When she reached home, Sanju’s car was in the driveway. Why is he back? Did he forget something? Or, was he going to apologize to her and take her out? That might happen if the pigs flew! But nothing had prepared her for what she saw. A Sanju wild with anger. A Sanju she had never seen before.

  ‘Why are you being so vengeful, Anu?’ Sanju’s face and eyes had turned red. ‘I have never been anything but nice and accommodative in this relationship. What did I ask of you after all? To live in a mansion and spend my money?’

  Anu was speechless for a moment and then enraged. ‘That is such a below-the-belt comment, Sanju. I am trying to be happy. Keep you happy. Keep Vicky happy.’

  ‘I can see that. I got a call from Indigo International when I was at work. To collect Vicky’s things from his cubby as he is no longer a student there. Where is Vicky?’

  Anu cursed herself for not taking the mobile along. They would have called her first. Sanju’s was a backup number. She tried her best to explain why she did what she did but Sanju looked stony.

  ‘You know what, if you don’t want to live here, you don’t have to. Feel free to leave anytime.’

  ‘Sanju! What does that mean?’

  ‘You know what that means.’

  34

  ‘Are you breaking up with me, Sanju? Do you know we are now married and you can’t just break up and walk away? Like you did seven years ago? Why is there no middle ground with you then or now?’

  ‘I broke up and walked away? Life is always about you, isn’t it, Anu?’ Sanju stormed out of the house. Anu heard him start the car.

  She sat feeling nothing for a long time. Her mind had gone blank. She didn’t want to think about the present. So she thought about what Sanju had just implied—that he was not the one who had walked away before.

  They had been dating for three years. Anu had somehow made up her mind that she wanted to be married at twenty-five. But her family never thought what she said had to be taken seriously. They kept bringing the so-called alliances and Anu kept turning everyone down.

  ‘Sanju, not to brag or anything but you got a catch in me, man.’ Anu would laugh showing him the pictures of eligible grooms and their parents asking her parents for her hand.

  ‘Really?’ Sanju was always a good sport. He would laugh. ‘I will build a temple for you like they have done for Khushboo and worship you for bestowing yourself on me.’

  But at one point, Anu started to get tired of battling her parents. Her I-wont-marry-till-twenty-five was not getting any attention.

  ‘Anu, we must tell the parents. So that they stop looking for grooms for you!’ Sanju had convinced her when his mother had begun to suggest prospective grooms for Anu.

  When they told the respective parents, there was nothing filmy about their reactions. Anu’s parents were disappointed that she had found someone herself. But other than that there was no objection. Except, big trouble came in the most unexpected form.

  ‘If you both are keen on each other, you must marry immediately.’ Anu’s father was firm. ‘We can’t have you see each other out of wedlock.’

  ‘Daddy! Please don’t use cringe-worthy phrases like “out of wedlock”.’ Anu had scrunched her face. ‘We have been seeing each other for three years. Just because you know about it now, you can’t force me to marry immediately.’

  But her father, usually a very forgetful man, hadn’t forgotten his stance on the matter even after weeks. For heaven’s sake, he forbade her from meeting Sanju! Well, that was a bit filmy and unnecessary because she was working by then and was meeting Sanju after work. He had finished his M.Tech from IIT Chennai and was working for an IT company in Bangalore. He had turned down offers to go abroad because Anu was averse to the very idea.

  Sanju had convinced her father that he was applying for Ph.D in the US and getting married too quickly would hamper his plans. He had asked for a year more to settle down.

  Sameer had surprisingly kept himself out of this. He met her but Anu sensed that he did not want her to talk about her wedding. Shwetha was working with her at the bank and they had bonded big time over shopping and eating. She kept asking Anu to get married soon. ‘For me, Dini is in London. So getting married changes my life. What is your problem? You will only be moving out of your parent’s house and gain the freedom to live on your own.’

  That actually kind of sounded good. Though Anu was working, her father had set a strict 8 p.m. curfew. Not to mention her over paranoid and overprotective mother and grandmother cramping her style. That was when she spoke to Sanju and all hell broke loose after the talk.

  ‘Sanju, if we have to get married in a year, we must look for a p
lace to live.’ She had said enthusiastically slurping ice cream. She was already dreaming of house shopping.

  Sanju had looked confused. ‘Why? We will live at my place, right?’

  ‘Oh no! I am not escaping my parents to live with yours!’ That had sounded a bit harsh but she was horrified by what he had suggested.

  Sanju had not been happy. ‘I have passed up opportunities to go abroad because you don’t want to. I at least want to live with my parents. They would be too hurt if I move out.’

  ‘If you lived abroad, how would you live with your parents?’ Anu was not one to give up.

  ‘I would sponsor them to come live with me.’

  They had gone back and forth for weeks on the issue. Finally, Sanju had declared.

  ‘This is an impasse, Anu.’ He had choked his words and looked pained but had said they had to part ways.

  Anu was at first shocked, angry, devastated and eventually wanted to kill Sanju. How could he call off their relationship of three years just like that? But he had. Anu did not have the heart to tell her parents that the wedding was off. So she hadn’t, for almost six months.

  Sameer and Shwetha were her crutches. They had made sure she hadn’t fallen apart. They fed her food and beer and made her laugh. On one such dinner with Sameer, he had asked her what her plans were. ‘How long are you going to wait for Sanju to crawl back, Anu?’

  ‘I feel we are not over. Not yet.’ Anu was convinced.

  Sameer had stayed suspiciously silent for a while then he had asked. ‘In case, just hypothetically, if Sanju doesn’t come back, do I stand a chance with you?’

  Truth be told, Anu was flabbergasted. But her quick reply to his question took her by surprise. ‘Without batting an eyelid,’ she had said and she had meant it. She used to get annoyed when Sameer went dating everyone on earth but had friendzoned her. But after she and Sanju became a couple, she was the one who had friendzoned Sameer. But, maybe, deep down somewhere, she still had a crush on him. Why would she agree so quickly otherwise? But Shwetha had begged to differ. According to her, Anu had agreed only because she liked staying well inside her comfort zone and Sameer spelt comfort with a capital ‘C’ for her. What is wrong with comfort zones anyway? Anu never understood.

  However, a month later Sanju had met her. ‘Anu, I spoke to my mother. She is fine with us moving out.’ He was never one to confess love but Anu knew he had missed her. As much as she had missed him, at the very least. Or so she wanted to believe.

  ‘What brought about this change of heart?’ Anu had secretly fished for some confessions and he hadn’t disappointed her.

  ‘There is only one Anu in this world. I don’t want to lose her.’

  That was when he had casually mentioned that he had dated Kshama for a couple of months. ‘There is no other woman like you, Anu. Crazy, mad, but also sane!’

  ‘I moped for you like Meerabai while you went around dating women!’ Anu was genuinely angry, more with herself than with Sanju.

  ‘We were on a break!’ Sanju had mouthed Ross’s famous line from Friends and then had said seriously, ‘Kshama and I were friends all through undergrad. Dating was nothing more than a continuation of the same friendship, okay? I am not a serial dater like Sameer.’

  Anu had then made the mistake of telling him what Sameer had said. That had changed everything. Sanju, that instant, had turned hostile towards Anu and Sameer’s friendship. But what neither Sanju nor Sameer had told her (her mother-in-law had later) was that it was Sameer who had brokered peace between Sanju and her. He had spoken to her mother-in-law about this breakup who had then spoken to Sanju.

  Anu had asked Sameer why he had done so, while he wanted a chance with her!

  He had cracked some bad joke at first (something like when she had agreed, he had developed cold feet) but then had come clean with the truth. ‘I needed a chance with you only if all the doors between you and Sanju were closed. Evidently, no door was closed between you two! You are the creepy Romeo and Juliet of this century.’ He had ended with a bad joke.

  Anu’s alarm jolted her out of her blast from the past. It was the ‘Pickup–Vicky’ alarm. What would she do after picking up Vicky? Stay back and make peace with Sanju? The thought of staying back revolted her. She did not belong there. She did not want to belong there. Then again, moving away from Sanju was equally depressing. Would he come back to her if she moved out? Or was that it for them? She still wondered if it was not for Sameer’s interference, would Sanju have come back to her at all. Should she take that chance now?

  35

  Anu’s phone rang when she had just picked up Vicky. It turned out to be Pooja’s mother, Dharini.

  ‘Hi Anu, I am meeting some of my friends for lunch at the restaurant. Please join us.’

  Anu hesitated. Even a shared lunch meant damage of at least two thousand. As if reading her mind, Pooja’s mother spoke quickly. ‘It will be a simple veg-and-no alcohol kind of lunch. None of us wants to spend too much.’ She gave a small awkward laugh.

  Anu couldn’t do anything but agree. But she felt depleted. She knew money was not an issue for Dharini. Pooja’s track pants cost more than Anu’s best evening dress! Anu sighed as she drove. Now even nice people like Dharini had to downgrade their lifestyle to accommodate her!

  Leaving Vicky with Rathnamma, Anu changed into a decent pair of jeans and a T-shirt that made her look nice to herself. Anu made up her face quickly and admired herself for a quick moment. God, was she a narcissist!

  When she reached the restaurant, Dharini waved to her. Anu stood dumbfounded for a moment. The entire table, with around six women, looked the most resplendent in crisp cotton sarees and gorgeous jewellery. Anu groaned inwardly. Would she ever fit in anywhere in this darn place?

  ‘We are all cotton saree buffs, Anu. So when we meet, we wear only those. But don’t bother with us oldies! You look beautiful.’ Dharini was a genuinely nice person. Her friends weren’t bad either. Everyone was friendly and even asked Anu about her life—past and present. Anu began to relax. Not everyone in Verdant Green was an ogre after all.

  Soon the conversation turned to the vacations they were all planning that year. One was going on the golden chariot train journey with family that costed around four-lakh rupees per person. Another was going to London to watch the India–England cricket match. The third was going to Mauritius to stay in a luxury resort and spa. Nobody was trying to be mean. They were simply sharing but Anu had nothing to add. They had no vacation planned. And the vacations they had taken were better not mentioned here—Simla, Agra, Ramoji Film City! How commonplace and mundane!

  Anu swallowed the low-fat vegetarian food—tofu, millets, and lots of salads, the women were all very health conscious—with great difficulty. Why eat at all if one had to eat this! The conversation then moved to where their kids were going to do their undergrads; one to the USA to pursue pre-med courses, another to Germany to pursue a major in economics, yet another to Hong Kong to join the UC Berkeley Dual Degree Program. They were all talking about at least a two-crore rupee expense to get a three-year degree. Anu wondered if those kids were better off taking that money from their parents and attending KLE as she did. In between, the women did politely try to include Anu in their conversation but she felt as out of place as a vegan at a steakhouse.

  As Anu walked back home, she glanced around at the driveways. Mercedes, Audi, BMW—any luxury car you could think of, you could spot it there. Where the drapes were open, she could peek inside to spot furniture worthy of admiration more than comfort. And, of course, the perfect gardens. Anu’s gardener waved to her zipping by on his brand new motorbike that cost more than her old Santro. When Anu reached home, Vicky was asleep. Anu thanked Rathnamma with a five-hundred rupee note. The woman grumbled, ‘You were gone for two hours and you are giving me only five hundred.’

  Anu plonked herself on the ground and looked around her mansion. She wanted to cry! Their unremarkable furniture made that grand house look miserable! N
othing about her was enough to live there. She checked her phone to see if Sanju had texted. He usually did at that hour. Anu thought of texting him but that seemed more energy-sapping than the lunch she had just had.

  Her mind reeled back to that morning. Sanju had asked her to leave! What could she text him now? Beg him to let her stay? Yell at him for what he had said? Send something meaningless and neutral? She would have opted for the last if not for the hurt that was still too raw—Sanju had asked her to leave him and the house.

  By the time Vicky woke up, after a good two hours, Anu had made up her mind. She pulled out her large suitcase and started packing her clothes. Then she took another smaller one and packed Vicky’s clothes and toys. She sauntered into the kitchen and picked up two vessels and a cooker. Two plates and two cups. Her coffee and Maggi were taken care of with those. Then she called Radha. She was not sure if what she was doing was right or wrong but it seemed natural.

  Vicky was jumping all around assuming they were leaving on holiday. ‘Where are we going, Mumma? I want to go to Wonder Land. And then Zoo. And then—’

  The innocence of a child! Anu did not bother to correct him. His ideal holiday spots What he wanted were all in and around Bangalore and she could very well give him the holiday he desired!

  Dragging the suitcase, managing Vicky riding on the big one, Anu lugged it to her Santro and shoved it in the backseat. She gave one last look at the house and bid a silent goodbye. Should she leave a note for Sanju? She went inside and got a piece of paper. Stopping for a moment to think, she scribbled. ‘Meet me in the middle.’

  As she walked to her car, she felt quite impressed with her clever note. Well, it was not her original thought but a song by Jessie Ware, but she used it so aptly. Then, as an afterthought, she took a picture of the two suitcases in her car and sent it to Pete, captioning it ‘The End.’ A bit dramatic, but then again, as far as Anu was concerned, Verdant Green ceased to exist the moment she locked the front door.