Jax busted out laughing. “You do understand that Kaye is a fucking cop, right?” he scoffed.
“No one is taking or drinking anything,” I insisted. “Just take a deep breath. The worst thing that can happen is the guy gets spooked and he takes off.”
Jax shook his head. “Or he gets spooked and decides to light this place up.”
I pointed to the kitchen. “Go,” I growled.
“What did I do?” he asked.
“Why don’t you go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face Steph before he gets here?” I suggested.
Steph took a deep breath and nodded. “Good idea.” She shuffled down the hallway and shut the bathroom door behind her.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed at Jax.
“Being a realist?” he suggested.
“A realist who is scaring that woman even more than she already is.”
Jax shrugged. “Maybe she isn’t cut out for the undercover life. Not all of us can be like you.”
I lifted my middle finger and flipped off Jax. “I know what you mean by that, and I don’t appreciate it.”
Jax smiled.
“I get that you don’t want me to be here, Jax, but I am here, so you might as well get over it,” I hissed.
“Never said I didn’t want you here.”
I cocked my head to the side and put my hands on my hips. “You didn’t say it, but I can tell.”
“Damn, Kaye, you learned how to read minds when I was locked up?” he laughed.
Steph walked out of the bathroom and stood behind the couch. “Okay, I think I’m good.” Her smile was a little wobbly, but it seemed like she had her shit under control.
I had met Lynn a few times before, and it was kind of crazy how different she was from her sister. While Lynn had a good job and seemed like she always had a handle on things, Steph hopped around jobs and was a bit more chaotic than one should be.
“That’s great!” I chirped.
Jax dropped his chin to his chest and laughed. “Tone it down a notch there, babe.”
I flipped off Jax again. “You can go sit in the bedroom for all I care.”
“Only if you come with me.”
My jaw dropped, and Steph let out a squawk.
A knock sounded on the door, and I pointed at Jax. “You can’t say that to me.”
He shrugged and stood. “Uh, yeah I can. Pretty sure that doesn’t violate my parole. Unless taking you to bed is against the law now.”
“Damn.” Steph fanned herself. “I didn’t know you two were together.”
“We’re not,” I hissed.
“Yet,” Jax muttered.
What in the hell was going on? I was about to do a drug deal with someone who might be able to lead us to the Devil’s Rebels, and Jax was hitting on me. Sort of?
“I’ll get the door.” Jax moved to the door and looked through the peep hole. “Who’s there?” he called.
“Pizza delivery,” the guy on the other side called.
It took a second for my mind to process that was the cover the guy used. It wasn’t like he knocked on doors and yelled out that he was there to sell drugs. I needed to get back into undercover mode and start thinking and acting like someone who would do drugs.
Jax unlocked the door and held it open for Wrigley to come in.
Wrigley had a pizza box in his hands and nodded at Jax. “Sup.”
Jax closed the door behind him and locked the door. “Not much, brother. You doing good?” Jax asked.
Wrigley nodded. “As good as can be expected.” His eyes darted to me and then over to Steph. “Hey, Mama,” he called to Steph. “Been awhile since I heard from you.”
Steph laughed. “Yeah. I tried that clean and sober route. Wasn’t for me.”
Wrigley chuckled. “You wouldn’t believe how many times I have heard that before.” He dropped the pizza box on the floor and took off his hat. He turned it upside down and flipped open a secret flap.
Again, I never would have thought to do things the way he was. These guys were smart, and I always thought they would be successful if they would just do things the legal way.
“How much are you looking for?” he asked Steph.
Steph put her hands in her back pockets and shifted her weight from foot to foot. “Uh, well, enough for the three of us for tonight. Probably some more for a couple of times, too.”
Wrigley nodded. “All right, all right. I got you covered, girl.”
Jax flopped back down on the couch and kicked up his feet on the coffee table. “Pizza business treating you good?” he asked.
Wrigley shrugged. “As good as it can be. Selling about ten to fifteen pies a night.”
I wasn’t sure what that was code for, but maybe ten to fifteen customers a night? That seemed damn good to me seeing as we were more than likely about to pay about two hundred for our “pie.” Wrigley could easily clear three grand a night.
This was the reason why people turned to dealing drugs and stuck to it. If they were good and didn’t get caught, they made a shit ton of money without minimal effort.
From the sounds of it, that was what Jax’s brother was trying to do, but he had gotten in over his head and needed to be bailed out.
“Nice, nice,” Jax muttered.
Wrigley handed Steph a few baggies and put his hat back on his head. “You three partying together?” he asked. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone, Steph.”
Steph’s eyes dart to me. We hadn’t discussed anything like Wrigley had asked.
Jesus.
“She might be seeing someone,” Jax laughed. “But it sure as shit ain’t me.” Jax nodded to me and held out his hand. “Kayla and I are together.”
I hesitated and blinked. Oh shit, I was Kayla. I managed to get my feet to move and grabbed Jax’s hand. He pulled me into his lap and pressed a kiss to the side of my head.
“Nice, nice,” Wrigley muttered. He bent over and grabbed the empty pizza box. He handed it to Steph, and she turned toward the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll see you guys again. Enjoy your pizza.”
Steph walked him to the door and let him out.
“Later,” Jax called.
Steph closed the door behind him and twisted the lock.
“Nobody talks,” Jax said softly.
Steph sat in the recliner opposite of the couch and put her head in her hands. I could tell she was on edge, but I didn’t know if it was because she had just bought drugs, or if it was because she now wanted to do the drugs.
We waited another minute, and then I felt Jax relax under me.
“Okay.” He sat back in the couch, but he didn’t move his arm from around my waist. “Good job, Steph.”
Steph leaned forward and grabbed the baggies from her pocket. “Take this,” she muttered. She tossed it at Jax, and he snatched it out of the air.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. I had just asked someone who was possibly addicted to drugs to buy drugs and hand them over to us.
She ran her fingers through her hair and nodded. “Yeah. That wasn’t near as bad as I made it out to be in my head.”
Most time, things were never as bad as you imagine them to be. “It went pretty smooth,” I agreed.
“So, what happens next?” Steph asked.
“Wait a couple of days and get in touch with him for some more,” Jax said.
“We have to do this again?” Steph whined. “I don’t think I can. It went fine this time, but what if next time it doesn’t?”
“One more time, and then, I can make my move.”
I looked down at Jax. “Move?”
He patted my leg. “Don’t worry about it, babe.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You do know that it is my job to worry about it, right? We’re in this together, so we should both be worrying about it.”
“I’m gonna have a drink,” Steph interrupted. “Do you guys want one?”
Jax and I both shook our heads. “We should be going,” we replied in unison.
<
br /> “Uh, okay,” Steph muttered. “I guess I’ll have Wrigley come again in four days?” she asked. “I’ll let Lynn or Zephyr know what time.”
I clambered off Jax and took a big step away from him. I did not need to be sitting his lap anymore. We needed to act like we were together for the sake of Wrigley, and now, he was gone.
Too bad my weird feelings for Jax didn’t leave right behind the drug dealer.
“Let us know if anything else happens; otherwise, we’ll see you in a few days.” Jax pulled his keys from his pocket. “Have a drink and breathe. You did good tonight, Steph.”
I tried to muster an encouraging smile and waved to Steph. “See ya.”
We made our way out the door and down three flights of stairs.
“Uh, I can call for a cab or something.”
Jax reached for the helmet I had worn on the way over here. “I drove you here, and I’ll drive you back to your car, Kaye.” He held out the helmet to me, and I stared at it.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to get back on your bike, Jax,” I said softly.
Jax chuckled and plopped the helmet on my head. He snapped the buckle under my chin and smirked. “You gotta know that I always go with my gut, babe, and my gut is telling me you need to get on the bike.”
Jax always went off instinct. That instinct had gotten him arrested and thrown into prison.
But he was protecting his brother.
Ugh. Confusion was becoming a normal thing when it came to having Jax around.
Maybe I needed to go off instinct too and shut off my brain for a bit. It was for sure going to just confuse things later, but for right now, I didn’t want to think about anything.
“Are we going to go right back to the clubhouse?”
Jax tipped his head to the side. “We’ll get there eventually.”
That was the answer I had wanted to hear. We were only about ten minutes away from the clubhouse, and I wanted to be on the back of Jax’s bike for longer than that.
The last five years disappeared, and I was looking at the man who made my heart race and made me feel safe. Being on the back of Jax’s bike had been my favorite place on Earth.
The man I loved in my arms and the world fading behind us as we raced into the night.
This was what I had mourned for the past five years.
This was what I had wanted, and now that it was right in front of me, I wasn’t going to let it pass me by.
But first, we had to make a stop.
“We should probably swing by the station to put those drugs into evidence.”
Jax patted his pocket. “Uh, that would probably be a good idea.” He pulled them out and laid them in my hand. “Last time I had that on me, things did not end well.”
I chuckled and put them in the pocket of my jacket. “I promise tonight we will not have the same ending as then.”
“As crazy as it may seem, I believe you, babe.” Jax threw his leg over his bike and cranked it up. “Get on, Kaye.”
Things were about to get a whole lot of complicated.
I needed to focus on getting the Devil’s Rebels, but that was the furthest thing from my mind.
Right now, I wanted to just hop on the back of Jax’s bike and ride into the night.
I climbed on behind Jax and wrapped my arms around his waist.
The Devil’s Rebels would be there tomorrow.
Tonight, it was just Jax and me.
*
Chapter Twelve
Back in time…
Brick
“I can’t believe you brought me here.” Kaye leaned back against the bike and looked up at the sky. “I haven’t been here since you went away.”
“Is that what we’re calling it?” I asked. “Went away?”
Kaye sighed. “Isn’t that what happened?”
We were parked up on Hobbs Hill, ten miles out of Whitmore. A place Kaye and I would often wind up when we would go out for a ride. It felt natural to drive here tonight.
“Yeah, babe,” I chuckled. “That is totally happening.”
Kaye was sitting on the ground with her back to the motorcycle, and I was leaned up against a tree closer to the drop-off of the hill.
“I’m sorry.”
Her words barely made it to me, but I heard them. There wasn’t anything she needed to be sorry for. I wasn’t delusional and thought that Kaye was to blame for what happened to me. I was my own man who made his own decisions. “You sorry for doing your job, or for dating a dumbass like me?”
Kaye reared back. “Neither. And you weren’t a dumbass.”
“You say that now, but I bet you thought it five years ago.” Hell, I even thought I was a dumbass for what I did. I did it to help my brother, but I should have done things differently. You couldn’t go back and change things, though. I had to live with my choices and just know that I wouldn’t make the mistakes again.
“Well,” Kaye laughed. “I don’t think I had many nice words to say about you back then.”
I sighed and looked out into the night. “I sure didn’t either, babe.”
“I wish you would have told me, Jax.”
“You know now, babe.” I didn’t know what she was doing with that information, but she was up here on Hobbs Hill with me. That had to be good, right?
“Yeah, I do, and just like five years ago, you got my head all sorts of messed up, Jax.” She scoffed. “I won’t even mention my heart.”
Her heart used to belong to me, just like mine belonged to her. Hell, mine still belonged to Kaye even after everything that had happened. Sure, I hated her for a while, but deep down, I always knew that everything that had happened was my fault only. If it hadn’t of been Kaye’s sting operation to bust me, it would have been someone else.
“Did you ever think about what would have happened to us if the past five years hadn’t happened?” Kaye asked.
Did I think about it? Every God damn day. “You wanna know what I hoped would have happened, or what actually would have happened?”
Kaye smiled. “How about you tell me both?”
“What actually would have happened is I would have fucked up some other way.”
“What?” Kaye protested. “How can you think that?”
“Because five years ago, I was a fucking idiot, Kaye. I really thought I could deal drugs and walk out of it like nothing happened.”
Kaye shrugged. “You could have. There are lots of people who don’t get in trouble. But that just makes them do it again and again.”
“Until they get caught,” I sighed.
“So, what do you hope would have happened?” she asked.
“Knocked you up with a couple of babies and bought a house out here.”
“What?” Kaye squealed. “You really wanted that to happen?” Her jaw dropped and she sat forward. “Babies?”
I smiled wide. “Yeah, two for sure.”
“You’re half crazy, Jax Adler.” Kaye laughed and hoisted herself off the ground. She brushed her hands on her legs and wrapped her arms around herself. “Two babies,” she muttered.
“Don’t laugh, babe. It could have happened.” Kaye pregnant with my babies was something I dreamed about when I was locked up. Fucking tortured myself knowing I had completely fucked it all up. “What do you think would have happened?”
Kaye shrugged. “Honestly?”
I nodded. “I know honesty is all you got in you, babe.”
She stood next to me and sighed. “Just living with you. Working, coming home to you, and going on bike rides with you. I loved the life we had. I honestly would have loved for it to never change.”
I could have lived with that also. Problem was that things always changed. “Too bad you can’t avoid change, babe.”
“I think whatever small changes that came we could have rolled with.”
“Going to prison for five years isn’t a small change?” I chuckled.
“Uh, no,” Kaye giggled. “We gotta classify that one as a mamm
oth change.”
“I see.”
“So why are you out here tonight?” I asked.
Kaye sighed heavily. “I don’t know, Jax. I crave being able to go back five years and change everything. Find out about your brother and help him so he doesn’t end up dead and you’re not in prison.”
“But we can’t do that, Kaye,” I reminded her.
“We can’t, but we can put it behind us, right? I understand why you did what you did. I don’t like it and think you could have handled it way differently, but I get it.” She sighed heavily. “For the longest time, I wondered how you could literally be the man of my dreams and in one instant, turn into a man I didn’t even know.”
The man I was never changed. I was the same Jax, just a little bit older, and a whole lot wiser. Fucking way wiser. “I’m still that man, Kaye. Prison might have hardened me a bit, but I’m still in there.”
She leaned to me and bumped her shoulder into mine. “Prison also added some mass to you.”
I flexed my arm. “I had to do something while I was in there. Hitting the weights seemed to be the thing to keep me out of anymore trouble.”
“Well, it worked,” she whispered.
“You noticed, babe?”
“Well, you do look like a shit brick house,” she cracked.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “You would remember that.”
“It’s hard not to. Though those women say a bunch of funny stuff and I can’t remember half of it.”
“That’s because everything that comes out of their mouths is fucking crazy.”
Kaye sighed. “Yeah, you’re right, but I like all of them.”
The girls were all good, but crazy. “I think you would fit in with them. Possibly keep them in line a little bit more.”
“‘Cause I’m a cop?” she laughed. “I’m pretty sure they would somehow use their craziness against me, and somehow, I would wind up crazy right along next to them.”
“Well, that would be a change.”
She scoffed and tipped her head back to look at me. “Are you saying I’m boring and normal?”
“I’m saying you are far from crazy, babe.”
Kaye frowned.
I hadn’t meant to offend her. It was just that Kaye was a pretty serious person while the other ol’ ladies were crazy.
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