Perhaps today was the day to try something different.
* * *
Adrian had expected to be nervous around Grace or uncomfortable being alone with her or even anxious to get back to his animals. He hadn’t expected to thoroughly enjoy himself. But that was what he’d done all afternoon. The whole reason that he’d thought to invite Grace along to ride with him to town was because of something George had said.
It’s not always about you.
Perhaps her frustration the day before had not been about him. Maybe she’d been annoyed with her life in general. A few hours away from the farm tended to clear the cobwebs from his mind, like Grace had been clearing the cobwebs from the bottom of the rockers. When he’d seen her doing that, he’d known that she would agree to go with him. He’d known it was the right thing to do to ask her to go.
Now they were in the buggy, headed back toward home, and Adrian wished the afternoon could last a little longer.
Then he saw her glance at him and smile. So he’d asked what that was about. She took her time mulling over her answer. Finally she angled herself in the seat so that she was facing him.
“I guess I was thinking that you’re not necessarily bossy or arrogant.”
“Who said I was?”
“Oh, I don’t know if anyone said it exactly, but someone sitting here in this buggy might have thought it.”
Triangle whined and dropped his head to the seat. Adrian and Grace started laughing at the same time. When her laughter had died away, Grace fiddled with her purse, zipping and unzipping it. “I was thinking that it’s just that you know things. You probably read a lot.”
“Not much else to do on a farm once the chores are done.”
“But lots of people read, Adrian. They read the Budget, over and over, like my dat.”
“Your dat is a smart guy. He always knows where to buy the cheapest hay or the best seed.”
“Sure. I get that. But you read books like—” she reached toward the pile of packages on the floor of the buggy and retrieved his book “—Self-Reliance and Other Essays by Ralph Waldo Emerson. What is this even about?”
“Well, it’s essays, which are—you know—shorter writings.”
“I know what an essay is.”
“I enjoy reading them before bed, because often I’m too tired to read for very long.”
“Uh-huh. That makes sense, and maybe I’ve heard of Ralph Waldo Emerson in school... But that was a lot of years ago, and I’ve had quite a few sleepless nights since then.” She tapped the side of her head. “I might have forgotten a few things.”
“Emerson was a philosopher and writer and poet.”
“When did he live?”
“Eighteen hundreds.”
“Not exactly current stuff.”
“I guess, but a lot of what he wrote about transcends the time he wrote it.”
“Give me an example.”
“Okay.” Adrian rubbed his chin, a little surprised that Grace was interested in Emerson. But then why shouldn’t she be? She obviously had an intelligent, curious mind. “Emerson believed that all things are connected to God, so all things are divine.”
“Like that newly planted field.” She nodded toward the west, where an Englisch farmer had recently planted his crops.
“Sure.”
“Or animals.”
“Exactly.”
“Or even children.”
“Ya. I’m not going to pretend I understand his philosophy, but I like to think about how our plain and simple life is connected to the divine, to Gotte’s work.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. You know stuff.”
“A lot of what I know is useless. Trust me. For example, did you know that the word camel in Arabic means beauty?”
“I did not know that.”
“Now you do.”
“And every time I think of Cinnamon, I will now think of it and be reminded of how beautiful she is.”
They were nearly to her house. Adrian’s mind cast around for some way to postpone taking her down the lane, but he couldn’t think of a single excuse. So he turned in, though he called out to Socks, slowing him down a bit.
“When you were telling me about organic farming, I thought you were being a show-off...”
“Not my intent.”
“...and naive.”
“Always a possibility.”
“And then I thought you were judging the way that I’m raising Nicole.”
He pulled to a stop in front of the house, next to the buggy that belonged to Georgia. Grace had shared that Georgia had picked up Nicole for a playdate. The fact that her schweschder had beat them home meant Grace would be eager to go inside to see her doschder. But what she’d said about him judging her... He needed to correct that impression.
Turning in the seat, he looked directly at Grace and fought the urge to reach out and cover her hands with his. He didn’t want to ruin this day by being too forward, but neither did he want to go too slow. He settled for reaching forward with one hand and squeezing hers lightly, then letting it go.
“I think you’re doing a fantastic job raising Nicole, and I’m amazed at what a kind and generous person you are to even do such a thing. Raising a child that isn’t yours? That takes a special kind of person, Grace, and you are special. You’re terrific, actually.”
She glanced down at her hands, worrying her bottom lip, then began gathering her packages. Had he said something wrong again? Or was she just tired? When she looked up at him, her expression was more solemn. She started to speak, stopped, shook her head, then hopped out of the buggy.
“Danki, Adrian. I had a wunderbaar time.”
And then she was gone, leaving him to wonder if he’d gone too slow or too fast or if maybe—finally—he’d managed to hit it just right.
He went home and checked on Cinnamon, then made sure the goats hadn’t escaped their pasture. Triangle ran at his side. Adrian considered Triangle something of a wonder. When he’d first adopted the dog from the local shelter, he’d stopped by the vet he used for his other animals and asked for advice.
After assessing the area where Triangle’s hind leg should have been, the vet had stood and smiled. “Looks to me like your dog was born with only three legs.”
“It wasn’t an amputation?”
“Nope. There’s no scar there.”
“Anything special I should do?”
“Keep his weight down. That’s probably the most important thing. Exercise is good as is swimming, if you have a pond.”
“Thanks, Doc.”
“No problem.” The vet had walked him out to the counter where a receptionist was waiting to print out Adrian’s bill. “No charge today.”
“I don’t mind paying.”
“And I’ll be happy to take your money when you bring Triangle back in for his annual vaccinations.”
“Danki.”
“Thank you for taking a dog that some people would see as damaged. Many people would never have considered doing such a thing.” The vet had clapped him on the back, tossed a dog bone to Triangle and gone back to work.
Many people would never have considered doing such a thing.
Those words circled in Adrian’s mind as he walked his farm, then went inside and made a simple supper. Triangle flopped down in his corner of the kitchen, though really the room was too small to be called that. There was a sink, a half refrigerator, a small two-burner stove and a cabinet with a few dishes in it. He had what he needed.
It occurred to him that perhaps the reason that Grace wasn’t dating was the same reason that no one had adopted Triangle. Perhaps no one had considered dating her.
Why wouldn’t they?
Because of Nicole?
But in Adrian’s mind, Nicole only made Grace more appealing. Nicol
e was evidence of what a caring, kind, selfless person Grace was. Oh, she had a temper, for sure. He’d seen that often enough, but who wanted a perfect fraa?
He choked on the bite of sandwich he’d swallowed, and Triangle raised an eyebrow as if to say, “you okay, boss?”
Was he thinking of marrying Grace?
They hadn’t even gone on a proper date yet.
But they had shared an afternoon trip to town, and it had gone well. If that was any indication of her feelings for him, then he thought he had a chance.
Marriage was a long way off—if it was even a possibility.
He didn’t have much to offer a fraa.
But dating was a different thing.
Dating was simply getting to know one another. He could do that. One didn’t need a proper kitchen or a lot of money in the bank in order to do that.
Adrian realized he was ready to begin courting, and the one woman he was interested in just happened to live next door.
Chapter Nine
Grace often found herself dreading church, then feeling guilty for having such a bad, unspiritual attitude. The truth was that her conscience bothered her more than ever of late. She wanted to stand at the front of the assembled group and proclaim that Nicole was her doschder, but of course that sort of thing simply wasn’t done.
During their new members’ class, she tried to focus on Bishop Luke’s words. He was instructing them about the Ordnung, their unwritten rules. The Ordnung guided their everyday life. It covered such things as the type of dress they wore. For example, when Grace was a small girl their local Ordnung had been changed to allow women’s dresses to be made out of fabric with pastel colors—before that most dresses had been gray or dark blue or dark green. Someone wised up to the fact that pastels were a nice color, too, though of course, red and orange and purple fabrics were still out of the question. It wasn’t that they thought bold colors were bad, only that they sought to be humble.
A more recent change to their Ordnung had been to allow the gradual adoption of solar power. Some Englischers saw that as hypocritical, since they didn’t use electrical power. Amish didn’t believe in being connected to the grid. They were supposed to live their lives separate, set apart. Could someone live set apart with electricity in their home? Possibly, but with that electricity would come many temptations—television, radio and even the internet.
Solar power, on the other hand, allowed them to be separate but with some of the conveniences of modern life. They still wouldn’t have a television or a radio or a computer, but they would be able to charge their tools and batteries, possibly even hook their refrigerator and stove up to it. Solar power would be much simpler and cheaper than propane. Plus solar power was basically free once the panels were set up. The sun was a part of Gotte’s creation. The Amish saw it as using Gotte’s natural resources.
Personally Grace was in favor of pastel dresses and solar-powered generators. She didn’t think putting Nicole in a lavender-colored dress would make her doschder overly proud, and she certainly didn’t think there was anything wrong with a fan that used batteries charged by the solar-powered generator in their barn.
But it wasn’t fabric or fans that Grace thought of as she sat through the prayers and sermons. Instead, she was wrestling with her need to bare her soul.
After the service, she helped in the lunch line. Although many of the women still gave her the cold shoulder, a few women were polite to her. Anna Lapp asked how Nicole’s teething was going, but then before Grace could answer, she’d had to run and check on one of her boppli. Anna was the same age as Grace, but she’d married at eighteen and now had four kinner. Occasionally, Grace thought they might be friends, but Anna didn’t seem to have time for such things.
As for the other women, the ones who stopped talking when Grace walked by them, she was trying not to let them ruin her day. Perhaps they weren’t even talking about her. Maybe they simply thought she wouldn’t be interested in the topic of their conversation.
Or maybe she was the topic of their conversation.
There was nothing she could do about it either way.
Bishop Luke paused in front of where she was shuffling pieces of pie to the front of the table. “I hope you enjoyed the new-member class today, Grace.”
“Ya, I did.” She moved Nicole from her right hip to her left. “I’m looking forward to the baptism service.”
“Excellent. And remember, if you need to, you’re always welcome to bring Nicole to class with you.”
But Grace knew that none of the other candidates would be bringing children. She’d learned the oldest among them was nineteen—a full four years younger than she was. Four years seemed like a lifetime to Grace. So instead of taking Nicole with her into the area where they had class each Sunday, she arranged for her mamm to look after Nicole while she was meeting with the other candidates.
Still, it was kind of the bishop to offer such a thing.
Or was he trying to tell her something else?
Was he suggesting that she confess her indiscretions to her other classmates?
She was stewing over the conversation when Adrian appeared in front of her. “Come and sit with us when you’re done?” He nodded toward George and Becca Miller who were spread out around the far picnic table with their six children.
“Okay.”
“I could take Nicole now, if you’d like.”
Before Grace could answer, Nicole lurched toward Adrian, reaching as far as she could and calling out, “Aden, Aden, Aden.”
Grace passed Nicole over the table to Adrian. It startled her how natural her child looked in his arms.
“She still can’t say my name.”
“Don’t let it hurt your feelings. Half the time she calls me mamama.”
Nicole turned in Adrian’s arms, pointed at Grace and said, “Mamama.”
“See what I mean?” She pushed a piece of apple pie toward Adrian. “Take that with you. She loves apple.”
As he walked off with her baby girl, it occurred to her that Adrian would make a gut dat. He really should settle down, find a fraa and start a family.
Where had those thoughts come from?
Just because he’d taken her to town the day before did not mean he was interested in courting. It also did not mean that he would want a ready-made family.
Grace stayed at the serving table until most of the desserts were gone, then grabbed an empty plate, forked a piece of ham on it, added a spoonful of beans and a piece of fresh bread, and hurried over to where Adrian and his friends were sitting.
She expected to be uncomfortable.
She didn’t really know George and Becca Miller that well.
But she found she enjoyed sitting with Adrian’s friends and hearing stories about him.
“I mostly hung out with Adrian’s older bruder.” George pushed his plate away and crossed his arms on the table. “Adrian insisted on hanging around the big boys, which used to drive Joseph crazy.”
“Grace probably doesn’t remember my older bruder.” Adrian was still holding Nicole. He turned her in his arms so that she was facing the table. Then he handed her a spoon and she proceeded to try to pick up Jell-O and eat it. About one in three times, the jiggly red snack made it into her mouth. “Joseph is ten years older than me, same as George.”
“Are you calling me an old man?”
“Ya. Come to think of it, I am.” Adrian wiped off Nicole’s face. “Anyway, Joseph moved to Maine. Left George here to look after me.”
“Which is a full-time job, I can tell you.” He proceeded to tell how Adrian had decided to turn a cattle trough into a fish tank when he was ten years old. “By the time Joseph figured out what Adrian was doing, the cattle could barely drink out of it, the thing was so full of fish and turtles.”
The men turned the conversation to farming, and Becca and Grace
talked about children and the coming summer break. “Only two of mine attend this year. But the middle two will start year after next. Then I’ll have some time alone with the babies.”
Grace couldn’t imagine having six children. Some days, she was completely worn-out with just one.
She enjoyed sitting with Becca and George. Even though they were older, she felt she had more in common with them than she did with the girls her age. And she liked learning about Adrian’s antics.
They were walking down by the creek, just Grace and Nicole and Adrian, when she stopped and studied him. “Why don’t I remember any of the things George was talking about? We’ve always gone to the same church, attended the same school...”
“Maybe you have a terrible memory.”
She reached out and pushed him. He laughed and put a hand on her elbow, tugging her toward an old rope swing that the older children had ignored in lieu of a game of baseball.
“It’s probably because I’m older than you.”
“Only two years.”
“When you’re in school, two years seems like an awful lot.”
“I guess. I feel like I should have paid attention better.” What would her life have been like if she’d given the time of day to someone like Adrian rather than falling recklessly in love with Nicole’s father? But each time regret crossed her mind, she was brought up short. She couldn’t make herself wish away the mistakes of her past, not when she looked at Nicole.
They were walking under a stand of trees. Grace glanced up, then looked over at Adrian.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“I suspect it’s something.”
“Don’t you have a quote to share...about the trees?”
“Hmm, let me think.” He rubbed his forehead for a few seconds, then snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it.”
“Wordsworth again?” She was teasing him, but actually she was curious.
“Blake.”
The Baby Next Door Page 10