Ordinary Girl

by Pamela Gossiaux

  “Hi,” I say. There’s a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen area, and I realize how hungry I am.

  “The roast is almost ready. Why don’t you go dress for dinner?” Roger says to Cory.

  Roger holds out the basket. “We have a no-screen-time rule at dinner,” he says to me. “I need your phone please.”

  “My phone?”

  But Cory takes his out of his pocket and drops it in the basket. “One of Dad’s rules,” he says. “He calls this family time.”

  Roger laughs, and I hand him my phone. That’s kind of cool, I guess. Brit’s parents don’t allow phones at the table either.

  Roger takes the basket with our phones in it and retreats into another room, which I assume is the kitchen.

  “Dress for dinner? Like…how dressy?” I whisper to Cory, looking down at the jeans I’m wearing. I brought some nice slacks and a business-like top, but no dress.

  “I’ll show you my sister’s room,” he says. “She’s away at college. You can wear something of hers. You look about the same size.”

  “I can’t wear her clothes!” I say, but Cory has picked up my bags and is leading me upstairs.

  “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I should have told you. What did you bring?”

  “Just some dress clothes, more business-like. That’s what I thought I’d wear tonight for dinner.”

  “Dad likes formal.”

  Cory’s sister’s room is enormous and has a queen-size bed against one wall. The colors are dark crimson and light rose. Very pretty.

  He leads me over to the closet. “Take your pick,” he says. It’s a walk-in. “I’ll wait downstairs.” He gives me a kiss and leaves.

  There are three formal-length dresses in the huge closet, along with several different pairs of shoes. Along the back of the closet is a full-length mirror. This place is amazing!

  It feels kind of weird to look at someone else’s clothes. I wonder if she’ll mind. But I take the yellow dress off the rack and hold it up to me. It’s beautiful, with a cream-colored sash coming down across the shoulder and around the waist. I love it, but I wonder if yellow makes me look too young. There’s a red dress and a dark blue dress. I pull out the dark blue. It goes well with my dark hair, so I try it on. It fits perfectly. It’s a little low cut, but I think I look pretty awesome in it.

  Then I check the shoes. There’s a blue pair of heels that are a size seven and a half. I wear an eight, but my toes can suffer tonight. I put them on and love the look. I wish Brit could see me. I’m about to Snap her a photo when I realize I don’t have my phone.

  There’s a private bathroom right inside the bedroom. I can’t even imagine living like this! My entire house could almost fit into this bedroom. Well, not exactly, but almost. I riffle through my purse and pull out what I need to freshen up my makeup. Then I brush out my hair. I have a ponytail holder, and I put my hair into an updo. I pull a few strands loose to hang around my ears and soften up my look. Brit and I have spent years playing with our hair. I have some pretty good styles figured out, and this is one of my favorites.

  I don’t look like a high-school kid anymore. I look like a college girl.

  I’m so happy I could burst.

  Then, I remember why I’m really here. I dig into my bag and pull out the folder with my printed college essay, resume and transcripts in it. I tuck it under my arm.

  My future is about to begin!

  As I walk down the winding staircase, I pretend I’m a princess descending for the royal ball. Brittney would love this! I’m about to text her when I remember again that I don’t have my phone. I’ll have to tell her all about this place tonight.

  I’m so glad I came!

  At the foot of the stairs I turn right and walk into the living room. I hear voices coming from a room to the left of that. I follow them and discover a formal dining room. There are huge windows with tall red velvet drapes hanging from ceiling to floor. The furniture looks antique.

  Cory and his dad are seated at a big oval table with three other men. They are laughing and joking. As soon as they see me, Cory stands. He’s dressed in a dark blue suit with a creamy satin shirt underneath. He looks amazing.

  He pulls a chair out for me.

  “Wow,” he says, and his eyes sparkle as he notices my dress and hair.

  “You too,” I say quietly, so only he can hear. He looks incredibly handsome, and I notice we are both wearing blue. How romantic!

  I sit down and Cory sits down next to me. I put the folder on the table next to me and suddenly realize that it has frayed edges. And one of the corners must have gotten bent in my bag. I cover that corner with my napkin.

  “Heather! You look beautiful!” Roger says from his place at the head of the table. “Let me introduce you. This is my friend from college, Bram Stafford.”

  Bram, who is sitting across from me, nods his head. His eyes sparkle. His hair is grayer than Cory’s dad’s, which makes him look older. I notice he has a little bit of a gut. He looks very much like a professor.

  Roger motions to the other two men. “And these gentlemen are John and Christopher.”

  Both men nod.

  “I’ll check the food,” Roger says, getting up and going into the kitchen.

  While he’s gone, a thin girl walks into the room and slides into the chair next to John. She looks younger than me but is all dressed up in a low cut red dress and has makeup on that makes it hard to guess her age. She’s wearing her wispy, blond hair down over her shoulders. She keeps her eyes on her plate.

  “It’s ready!” Roger says, coming into the room with a platter. He sets it down in the middle of the table. It’s a big pot roast, surrounded by tiny potatoes. There are already other sides on the table. A salad, fresh bread, some shrimp cocktail, and some type of green beans marinated in a buttery sauce.

  I look up from the table and notice there’s a redheaded girl now sitting next to the man named Christopher. I wonder when she came in. She’s wearing a green dress and looks tired. Nobody bothers to introduce either of the girls. I wonder who the men are and if the girls are sisters or cousins or just friends. It seems a little odd. I’m about to ask Cory when Roger stands up.

  “Welcome, friends,” he says. “A toast!”

  I notice there is wine in my glass. I’m not sure what to do. I glance at the other two girls, and they take their wine glasses unenthusiastically in their hands and raise them to Roger. Everybody is waiting for me. I pick mine up.

  “A toast to good friends and a little bit of fun!” Roger says and laughs. The other men laugh too. Cory takes a swig of his wine.

  I take a small sip. It burns going down. Some of the kids at school drink, and I had a half can of beer once at a party, but I’ve never had wine.

  “And a toast to Heather,” says Cory, lifting his glass to me. I lift mine again and we clank them together.

  “Hear, hear!” says Roger, and we all take another drink.

  The food is passed around the table. Roger starts to talk about his hunting escapades as he carves the roast and gives everybody a slice. Then John goes on about his computer business.

  The men are busily eating, wiping the juices off of their chins. I wonder when we’ll get around to talking about Harvard. I want to ask Bram some questions. Maybe I should just speak up.

  I glance at the girls, who are both picking at their meals. I wonder why. The food is delicious. Neither of them has spoken.

  I look over at Cory. He seems relaxed but notices me looking at him.

  “I think he wants to talk to you after dinner,” Cory whispers into my ear.

  I nod to let him know I understand. The movement makes me a little dizzy. It’s hot in here. I look for some water, but there is none. I take another small sip of wine.

  The men keep eating. They’re talking about something else now. I realize my plate is nearly empty. I don’t remember eating all of that. I look across the table at Bram, who wipes his mouth and puts his napkin down.

>   Roger brings them another round of beer.

  Bram takes a swig of his beer. I notice the blonde-haired girl is gone, and so is John. Then I see the redhead get up and leave the room. Christopher follows her, taking his beer with him. They leave the room and head towards the stairs.

  “So Heather, you have something you want to show Bram, right?” Cory says.

  “Oh, yes,” I say, straightening up in my chair. Now’s my chance. I reach for the folder, but it’s not there. Where did it go?

  “I think you left it in your room,” Cory says. “Why don’t you go and get it?”

  I could have sworn I brought it down. “Okay.” I stand and feel a little wobbly. What’s wrong with me? Apparently I can’t handle even a little wine. I’m drunk. I feel like a fool.

  “Don’t be nervous,” Cory says quietly. He gives my hand a brief squeeze.

  I nod and make my way over to the stairs. I climb them, and when I’m in my room, it takes me a minute to remember what I came for.

  The folder.

  The curtains have been drawn, and it’s dark in here. I turn on the light switch, which illuminates a dim lamp on a dresser. I see my bag in the corner and I walk over to it. Maybe I left it in there.

  “Lose something?”

  I turn. It’s Bram. He has followed me upstairs.

  “I was just looking for…”

  I notice he has closed the door behind him. He locks it.

  “I know what you have for me,” Bram says. His voice has a deep, suggestive quality, and he is grinning. He reminds me of a wolf. He crosses the room until he’s standing in front of me.

  “I want to go to Harvard,” I say. I blurt the words out because suddenly I’m scared. This is all so wrong. Why is he upstairs in the bedroom with me? Why did he lock the door? My heart starts pounding.

  “Do you want to show me how much you appreciate me?” he asks. “Maybe some incentives from you will help me with my decision.” He puts his hand on my cheek and leans down to kiss me on the lips.

  I freeze. Does he expect me to have sex with him in order to get into Harvard? His lips are dry and feel chapped.

  I pull away from him. “Cory.” I try to scream for him, but my voice doesn’t seem to be working. It comes out a quiet whisper.

  I’m scared.

  Bram reaches behind me and unzips my dress. It falls to the ground, and suddenly I’m standing there in just my underwear.

  He presses himself against me until I fall backwards onto the bed.

  “No,” I say weakly, but I can’t seem to stop him. My muscles aren’t cooperating.

  He lays on top of me and unhooks my bra. I try to push him away, but my arms are pinned under his weight. And I am so weak. Then I feel him reach and pull my underwear down. I am totally naked now, and the bed comforter is cold against my back. Part of my brain wonders why he didn’t turn down the comforter to get to the sheets. None of this makes sense.

  I try to raise my head but the room is spinning.

  “Stop,” I say. “I haven’t done this before. Please stop.”

  “I know you haven’t done this before,” he says into my neck as he’s kissing me. His stubble of a beard is burning my skin. “I paid extra for a virgin.”

  Paid?

  Where’s Cory? Why isn’t he here helping me? Why hasn’t anybody come to check on me? I’m in a panic as I try to scream Cory’s name again, and this time my voice comes out, and it sounds loud. I scream again and Bram, or whatever his name is, quiets me by smashing his lips against mine. He tastes of beer and onions.

  I realize I am crying, and I try to push him off, but he’s heavy, and my arms are weak. My muscles don’t seem to be working right. The room won’t quit spinning.

  I am helpless to stop him. I feel pain between my legs, a lot of pain, and I am crying. His body is pumping against mine, rocking the entire bed.

  “Please stop,” I say through tears, but he pushes his lips against mine again, and I can barely breathe.

  Then, after what seems like forever, he rolls over and lays beside me. I realize now is my time to escape, but my arms are too heavy to work, and I can’t seem to move my legs. I try to lift my head, and everything fades to black.

  — — —

  When I wake up, I am naked and cold. I’m also alone. I try sitting up, but that makes my head pound, so I lay back down.

  My thighs are wet, and when I reach down and pull my hand back, it is sticky and bloody.

  I roll over onto my side and curl up in a ball. I pull the corner of the comforter up over me. And I cry some more until I drift off to sleep.

  — — —

  The next time I wake up my head feels better. There’s some light coming in from around the curtains. Is it morning? I sit up and panic, looking for my clothes. I feel gross and stagger naked into the bathroom. I’ll take a shower. No, I need to leave. My head is still thick with confusion.

  I turn and go back into the bedroom and see my underwear laying on the carpet near the bed. My dress is crumpled up on the floor a few feet from it.

  What happened?

  I try hard to remember. Professor Bram…he…

  I suddenly feel nauseated and run back into the bathroom, where I throw up in the toilet. My stomach empties itself of everything until I only have dry heaves. It’s hard to throw up and cry at the same time. After a few minutes, I close the lid and sit down, tears in my eyes. I am shaking.

  Panic sets in as I try to figure out what to do next. Where’s Cory? I need to find Cory. But then a weird sense of shame creeps in. He can’t see me this way.

  I let myself get drunk, and then I let Bram...

  I stop the thought. I find a washcloth and wipe myself off, then hurry into the bedroom to look for my bag. It’s in the corner, and I pull on some fresh underwear, a bra, and the jeans and t-shirt I had on when I arrived.

  I need to find Cory. I need to find my phone.

  But there’s a nagging question chasing me—why didn’t Cory come and check on me last night?

  The room is dark from the heavy curtains, and the only light is coming from a small nightlight. My heart is pounding as I turn the door handle and peek out into the hallway. I don’t see anyone, and I smell something cooking downstairs. There is light coming in through the downstairs windows. So it really must be morning. I was passed out all night.

  I go down into the dining room, where I see Cory sitting at the table sipping coffee. Suddenly I’m afraid of him. I should have looked for another door. I never should have let them see me.

  “There you are!” he says, calmly. “You never came back down last night. How’d it go?”

  I don’t know how to answer. I want to tell him I was raped. But I suddenly feel ashamed. And scared to tell him. What if he was part of it? What if he knew? But no. Not Cory. And if he doesn’t know, what will he think if he knows I had sex with Bram?

  I was so stupid to let myself get drunk.

  “Where’s my phone?” I say.

  “Dad has it,” he says, standing up, a look of concern coming into his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  I bite my lip but the tears come into my eyes anyway. “I want to go home.”

  “Heather?” Cory says, and walks towards me. He reaches out to take my hand but I back away.

  His dad suddenly comes into the room. “Good morning, Heather!” he says. He’s all chipper. Here’s an adult who can help me. Right? Isn’t that what adults do? Or is he in on this too? He has to be. It has to be him. Or what if neither of them knew? What if they thought Bram was helping me with college last night?

  But upstairs? In the sister’s bedroom?

  “I—” I start to speak. But I’m too embarrassed to tell him. I was drunk. What if it’s my fault?

  “I need my phone,” I say.

  “I forgot to plug it in last night,” Roger says. “It’s charging.”

  “I need it.”

  I look wildly around the room for a land line. I can call 911. But what will I t
ell them? That’s when I see the blond-haired girl from last night. She’s sleeping on the couch and our voices don’t seem to have awakened her.

  “Have some breakfast,” Cory says. He slides a basket of bagels across the table towards me.

  I feel nauseated.

  “What’s wrong?” Cory asks again.

  “I have a headache.”

  He pulls a plastic baggie of pills out of his pocket. “Aspirin. Take one of these. It’ll help.”

  I shake my head no. Why does he have pills in a baggie?

  I still haven’t sat. Cory and his dad are both looking at me.

  “I don’t feel so well,” I say. Why aren’t they more concerned that I never came back down last night? Where is Bram? I look around the room, new fear going through me, but he’s nowhere in sight.

  “Sit down, Heather,” Roger says.

  I shake my head and move toward the front door. Suddenly Roger has his hand on my arm. I feel a shot of adrenaline at his touch and I try to pull away, but he holds on tight. He turns me around and looks closely at my eyes.

  “Oh no,” he says, shaking his head. “You were given some DHG in your wine last night,” he says, and leads me back over to the table. His hand is digging into my arm. “Bram must have slipped it in. I don’t know what happened, but we need to get you to the hospital. And then I’ll call the police. Did…” He looks at me. “Did anything happen?”

  I nod as tears spill out of my eyes. Finally someone is taking charge. He is figuring it all out. What is DHG? Does Bram often do this to girls? If so, why did Roger leave me alone with that man? Roger pulls two pills out of the baggie Cory put on the table.

  “Pour her some orange juice,” he says to Cory. I look at Cory, who pours some juice from a pitcher into a glass and brings it to me.

  “Take these,” his dad says. “It’s aspirin. It’ll help clear your head. Then drink some juice, and we’ll get you to the hospital.”

  I don’t want to go to the hospital. I want to go home. But I nod my head and swallow the pills.

  “I need to call my mom,” I say.