He loped off, phone to his ear, and almost collided with Sally in the doorway as he headed out while she was coming in.
Lottie knew it wasn’t her imagination as she felt the tension in the room ebb away. ‘Well, now he’s out of earshot…’ Audrey turned to her. ‘Time to tell us why you and our Matt can barely look at each other.’
Since when had he become our Matt, she wondered? ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she started to argue, but was cut off by Sally.
‘I do.’ Sally came to sit back on her chair. ‘Aside from the obvious which-guy-will-she-pick thing going on, Lottie’s got the hump with Matt because he lent her his van.’
‘Now hang on, that’s not fair.’ Lottie looked daggers at her friend. ‘Matt told me he had a van he could lend me.’
‘Which was true, wasn’t it?’
She didn’t like the way her supposed friend was turning this round. ‘He didn’t have a van when he promised it,’ she said tightly. ‘He lied to me.’
‘But only so he could help. So we could all help,’ Heidi added, glancing round the group until she stopped at Audrey. ‘Maybe Audrey should explain. She was the one who called the Beach Reads Book Club extraordinary general meeting.’
Lottie’s jaw fell open. ‘You had a meeting without me?’
‘Now don’t get your knickers in another twist.’ Audrey, who was sitting next to her, patted Lottie’s hand. ‘We wanted to do something to make your life better, just as you’ve done for every one of us.’ She narrowed her eyes at Lottie. ‘Matt wanted to give the van to you, but he knew you wouldn’t accept it, so while you were borrowing it, we all did a bit of fundraising so you could get your old van fixed.’
‘I baked cakes which Amy sold through the shop.’ Heidi smiled at her. ‘Trust me, it wasn’t a hardship.’
‘The shop raffled off tickets for a social media consult with me,’ Gira added. ‘It worked out really well because I ended up getting calls from people who hadn’t won, but wanted to use me anyway.’
‘Shaun auctioned a morning of his time,’ Amy piped up, then smiled shyly. ‘And I offered to help him hold his toolbox.’
‘That’s not what they called it back in my day.’ Audrey chuckled. ‘Now where were we? Oh yes, Sally, you sold off some of Freddie’s old baby outfits, if this old brain of mine remembers correctly.’
‘And I helped put some of your … what’s a polite word for old junk?’ Sally winked at Audrey. ‘Let’s call it clutter, shall we?’ She turned to Lottie. ‘You’d be amazed what people paid for it on eBay.’
‘I … I don’t know what to say.’ Lottie’s mind raced, stuck between embarrassment that they’d had to do this for her, and wonder that they’d pulled it off behind her back.
‘Before you grumble, it’s not charity,’ Audrey added. ‘It’s a thank-you for being the heart of our club.’
Oh God. She felt traitorous tears start to spill down her cheeks. Already on an emotional precipice, she was embarrassingly close to blubbing in front of them all. ‘I’m speechless.’ She fumbled around for a tissue, then gave Audrey a wobbly smile as the older woman thrust a napkin under her nose.
‘That’ll be a first.’ Sally grinned at her. ‘If only it had happened at school, we might have escaped all those hours in detention.’
‘I want to be cross with you all for plotting behind my back.’ Lottie wiped her eyes. ‘And I’m definitely embarrassed you had to do all that, just so I could pay a bill.’
‘We didn’t have to do anything.’ Audrey fixed her with a steely stare. ‘Everyone needs help in life from time to time. I was lonely.’ She paused and looked at Gira.
‘I was losing my husband.’
Heidi smiled. ‘I didn’t have a purpose.’
‘I would have gone nuts with just me and Freddie all day, every day,’ Sally added.
‘I was so shy I could barely talk to any of you.’ A flush bloomed on Amy’s cheeks. ‘Plus, you introduced me to Shaun.’
‘And now we can’t shut her up talking about him,’ Audrey added dryly, though she shot Amy a look full of fondness. ‘So young Lottie, are you saying we should be embarrassed that you helped us?’ Audrey didn’t give her the chance to reply. ‘Of course we shouldn’t. We’re bloody grateful, that’s what, so just you be bloody grateful back, and we’re all quits.’
Lottie’s chest felt tight, her throat chock-full of emotion. ‘Okay, okay.’ She gazed round at the group. More than a book club, they’d become a support group … no, more than that, even. They’d become firm friends. ‘I am bloody grateful, and not just for the money.’ She patted her eyes again. ‘I’m grateful to have friends that look out for me.’ For a moment her mind flashed to Matt, the person who’d started all this. The one who’d only lied to her because he’d known she wouldn’t accept the help otherwise.
‘Hear, hear.’ Audrey raised her glass, then realised it was empty, so she snatched up the bottle and slopped a measure into each of their glasses. ‘To the Beach Reads Book Club and all who join it.’ There was a murmur of agreement, a clinking of glasses.
‘I see Audrey’s got the gin out again.’
Lottie looked over Amy’s shoulder to find Jim smiling at them.
He shook his head when Heidi offered him a glass. ‘I’m full of ridiculously expensive Macallan.’
His eyes rested on Lottie and she tried to read what he was thinking, but like his son, Jim didn’t give much away. ‘If you’re looking for Matt, he’s taken Chewie and Freddie out for a walk.’
‘Right, thanks. Tell him I headed off home.’
As she watched him walk towards the door, she knew she couldn’t leave it at that. ‘Jim, wait.’ Excusing herself from the group, she dashed over to him. ‘Are you upset with me?’
He frowned. ‘Why on earth would I be?’
‘Matt tried to help me, and I was ungrateful.’ She glanced out of the window, watching the seagulls fighting over somebody’s discarded chips. ‘I thought he might have said something.’
‘He didn’t.’ Jim hesitated. ‘I only know he was happy a few weeks ago. Now he’s not.’
Lottie drew in a breath as pain arrowed through her. ‘Nothing feels right between us anymore. That guard he always wore, the one I managed to push down. It’s shot back up again.’
Jim shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Did he tell you his wife had an affair?’
‘Yes. I’m not sleeping with Henry, if that’s what you’re getting at,’ she added quickly, annoyed he would think that. ‘He’s just a friend.’
Jim made a dismissive noise. ‘That’s none of my business.’
Lottie followed the direction of his gaze and saw that he was watching Henry slip his phone back in his pocket and start to walk back towards the shop.
‘If you want to know why my son’s guard is back, ask him who his ex-wife had the affair with.’
Matt halted a few yards away from the shop and peered over the top of the buggy, expecting to find Freddie asleep, he’d been so quiet. But no, he was wide awake, taking in the world around him.
‘Well, he seems to have forgotten all about the scary dog barking.’ Matt glanced down at Chewie, who stared back up at him with his expressive brown eyes. ‘How about you? Forgotten about the scary man whistling?’ Chewie barked, and Matt nodded. ‘Okay, point taken, you don’t find him scary. Must just be me.’
Henry frightened him because he threatened to come between him and the woman he’d fallen head over heels in love with. Matt didn’t know how he could dust himself off and carry on if Lottie went back to her ex.
Yet, in an act of extreme cowardice, he’d not even told her how he felt. She’d never know she’d broken his heart.
Maybe that was just as well. He knew how guilt could weigh a person down, squeeze the joy out of life. He didn’t want that happening to Lottie. Didn’t want her light dimming because she felt bad about hurting him.
He stared into the café as he walked past, and jealousy bit as he saw Henry hold
ing court. Whatever tale he was telling, it had everyone listening and laughing.
He’d never been that guy, the one who could tell amusing anecdotes, who could sit easily in a group of people he’d never met before.
Yet Lottie had dated him anyway, he reminded himself as he wedged the door open so he could manoeuvre the buggy inside.
‘Wow, you handle that like a pro.’ Sally dashed towards him, arms outstretched as she bent to release Freddie from his straps. ‘And you’ve quietened this little monster.’
Matt glanced over his shoulder at the group, who were talking amongst themselves. ‘Are we still trying for the Brownie points? Because extolling my childminding skills feels like scraping the bottom of the barrel. And nobody appears to be listening.’
Sally burst out laughing. ‘The Brownie points are in the bag, mister. I’ve thrown the childminding thing in free of charge.’
‘What Brownie points?’
They both turned to find Lottie walking towards them.
‘I told Matt I’d try and get him back into your good books and I did, didn’t I? You’ve forgiven him for the van thing.’ She looked between them. ‘Okay, so this is my cue to leave you both to it. I’ll wind the meeting up while you guys kiss and make up.’
He watched Sally carry Freddie back to the café, nerves making knots in his stomach. Then he turned back to Lottie, swallowing as he slid his hands into his pockets. ‘So.’
A glimmer of a smile tugged at her mouth. ‘So.’
God, he wanted to hold her so much, he ached. ‘Sally thinks we should kiss.’
The smile broke out in full. ‘Sally was always a bad influence.’
Their gazes collided and there was more than amusement in hers. There was a spark, a light that caused hope to seep into his chest. Dangerous, yet desperately needed. ‘Are we okay?’
She nodded, and the hope expanded. ‘I’m sorry I was such a prickly cow.’
His lips twitched. ‘I believe that’s the remit of hedgehogs, or porcupines. Not bovines.’
‘I can be pricklier than both when it comes to receiving help.’ Her eyes fluttered closed for a second, and when she opened them again, they stared straight into his. ‘Thank you for caring enough to buy the van so you could lend it to me.’
‘Always.’ He reached for her hand and squeezed it between his, hoping she could feel the strength of his love through his fingers. ‘I will always be here for you.’ Her eyes glistened, and his own started to prick. Christ, that was twice in an hour he’d almost cried. ‘There are things I need to say,’ he added quietly, the weight of his unspoken feelings pressing heavily on his chest.
She stared down at their entwined hands. ‘Henry goes back on Sunday.’
Though it hurt him to say it, Matt knew he had no choice. He’d pushed her into Henry’s arms. Now he had to face the consequences. ‘Next week then.’
She released her hands and gave him a tremulous smile. ‘Yes.’
Over her shoulder he saw everyone get to their feet. Amy gathered the glasses to take through to the kitchen. Heidi and Gira pushed the chairs back to where they belonged. Audrey put the gin bottle back in her bag.
Henry strode towards them.
‘You ready to head off?’ he asked Lottie.
Matt flinched as Henry placed an arm around her shoulders. Would he ever have another chance to put his arms around her?, he thought, the panic returning. Or would everything he had to say, be too late?
‘Thank you for taking Chewie out,’ Lottie said softly.
Belatedly he glanced down to find Chewie sitting placidly next to him. He’d not growled when he’d held Lottie’s hand, Matt realised. Was that a good sign? ‘No problem. I think he’s getting used to me.’
‘Old Chewie been causing you problems, has he?’ Henry ruffled Chewie’s ears. ‘Funny, he’s always been fine with me.’
Okay, so the swords were coming out. ‘Maybe he doesn’t see you as a threat.’
The remark bounced off Henry. ‘Nah, I think he just likes me best.’
Matt had to hand it to the guy, his self-confidence was impressive. ‘It’s what Lottie thinks that I’m more interested in.’
When he risked a glance at her he saw she was staring at him wide-eyed, a flush on her cheek. One look over her shoulder and he could see why. He and Henry weren’t just posturing in front of her. They were doing it front of everyone.
‘Right, well, we should go.’ She turned, presenting her back to him, and he didn’t know whether it was a deliberate slight, or a way to say goodbye to the others.
It seems he was destined to keep cocking up his relationship with her.
As they filed out, Gira and Heidi gave him a sympathetic smile and Sally touched his arm in a sweet gesture. When Audrey reached him, she rose up on tiptoes and gave him a smacker of a kiss on his cheek. ‘Don’t let the bugger win,’ she whispered into his ear, though of course this was Audrey, so it was loud enough for Amy, who was standing next to her, to hear. And snigger.
‘I’ll try not to.’
‘Audrey’s just saying that because she likes working here,’ Amy remarked, smirking.
‘There is that.’ Audrey patted his cheek. ‘But this old woman would choose tall, dark, brooding and sincere every time.’
When they’d all gone, Matt closed the door and leant against it, tiredness seeping all the way to his bones.
In an act of sibling solidarity, Amy moved to stand next to him, mirroring his stance. ‘It’ll work out okay. Lottie’s smart, she’ll see through Henry.’
‘See through him? Don’t you like him?’
‘Nah. I mean, he’s okay, but he’s all about himself.’ She nudged him with her elbow. ‘You’re so much nicer, it’s not even a competition.’
Touched, he kissed the top of her head. ‘Dad says I’m taller.’
Amy giggled. ‘Yeah, that, too.’
And though his heart still ached, his chest felt a little less tight at the sound of his sister’s laughter.
Chapter Thirty
It was Friday afternoon and Lottie had finished her last job early. As she climbed back in the van – the one Matt had bought for her but knew she’d be too proud to accept – she made sure Chewie was settled before reaching for her phone. She needed to clear her muddled head.
Sally answered on the first ring.
‘Wow, usually I have to wait for ever for you to pick up.’
‘Yeah, well, usually I’m mid nappy change, or sponging pureed food off my shirt, or trying to tiptoe out of Freddie’s room without him waking up.’ There was the sound of movement, followed by a squeak and a gorgeous baby giggle. ‘Today you caught me on a rare occasion when Freddie’s happy playing with his baby gym, and I was about to do some online window shopping for clothes I don’t need, but believe I deserve because I’m finally back to my pre-Freddie weight.’
‘You totally deserve them.’ Lottie fiddled with the bottle of water she kept in the drinks holder. ‘Have you time for a quick visit, or will that interrupt the shopping splurge?’
‘I always have time for visitors. I’ll splurge later when Freddie’s in bed and Paul’s watching TV. He’ll think I’m trawling through Facebook.’
Five minutes later Lottie was sat on Sally’s cream leather sofa – cream because Sally had wanted class, apparently. Leather so she could easily wipe off baby goo.
‘Is this an I’ve-finished-early-and-fancy-a-chat visit,’ Sally asked as she handed her a mug of tea, ‘or is it a counselling session? And FYI, I’m hoping it’s the latter because this love triangle you’ve got going on is way more exciting than anything on the TV right now.’
Lottie wanted to laugh, but everything felt too much, her emotions too heavy. Whatever Sally saw in her face made her sit down next to her and reach for her hand. ‘Damn, it never was a real love triangle, was it?’
Lottie shook her head, aware tears were creeping down her face.
Sensing her unhappiness, Chewie shoved his wet nose into her hands
. Lottie dropped a grateful kiss on his head. ‘Life would be simpler if it was just you and me, huh?’
‘But there’s the dog-breath problem when you kiss,’ Sally remarked dryly. Then she sighed. ‘Yesterday was a bit awkward, wasn’t it? In hindsight, The Love Square wasn’t the best choice.’
‘No.’ She rubbed Chewie’s ears. ‘It was a good book though.’
‘And it had a lovely ending,’ Sally reminded her. ‘So maybe we should focus on that. Henry’s here for a few more days, yes?’
‘That’s the plan. I’ve promised to make him lasagne tonight.’ She reached for a tissue from the coffee table and wiped her cheeks. ‘It’s always been a bit of a joke between us, because I make it too sloppy. He calls it my lasagne soup.’
‘Don’t tell Gordon Ramsay, he’ll put it on his menu.’ Sally studied her, eyes brimming with sympathy. ‘How can I help?’
‘I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to talk to someone. My brain feels so … overloaded somehow. I’m scared I’m not thinking clearly.’
‘That’s because the brain shouldn’t be involved when it comes to falling in love.’
‘I know, but God, Sally, this is Henry, the guy I loved for years, the one I thought I was going to marry. And he loves me. He wants me to go to London with him, and I know if I do I’ll be okay, because I was happy before with him, so I can be again.’ She drew a breath, let all her jumbled thoughts flood out. ‘But it’s also Matt, the too-serious, way-too-complicated man I met only a few months ago, and, hell, I didn’t even like him at first.’ She dabbed at her eyes and looked sadly at her friend. ‘I don’t know what he wants from me, though actually it’s worse than that. It’s likely I’ll never know because he doesn’t talk about his feelings like Henry does.’
Sally smiled. ‘He is dark and mysterious, isn’t he?’
‘Apparently that’s what his ex-wife thought, but there are reasons he’s like that, good reasons that help explain him, and when you know, you fall for him that little bit more.’ She scrunched up the tissue, smiling briefly when Chewie tried to lick her face. ‘But now he’s shut me out and I don’t know if he even wants to let me back in.’
The Beach Reads Book Club: The most heartwarming and feel good summer holiday read of 2021! (The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection, Book 5) Page 26