by Meghan Sloan
“Of course, Mother,” he said, feeling a twinge of annoyance. “You have no need to remind me where my loyalties lie.”
She nodded, then turned and left without another word.
Silas groaned inwardly. He knew that he must be patient with Marina, but how much longer would she do this for? Immediately, a surge of guilt shot through him. She had been through so much and it wasn’t her fault that he had moved on while she was missing. Her feelings for him would not just disappear overnight. He must remember that and treat her gently.
The next minute she was in the room, sweeping in like a princess. Or a queen. Who had Mother mentioned? That’s right. Boadicea, the great Celtic warrior queen. And indeed, she rather had the air of a warrior about her. He wouldn’t have been surprised to see her brandishing a sword.
Today she was dressed in a gown of deep rose muslin, with a very high waistline and long puffed sleeves. Her golden hair was in its habitual side ringlets, with a matching rose-coloured headband. She looked elegant, confident and very beautiful, of course.
She smiled widely, holding out her hands to him. “Silas. You look so well, my dear.”
He took her hands. “As do you, Marina. Please, have a seat.”
They settled by the fire. The tea came, along with a plate of slightly burnt shortbread biscuits, not one of Cook’s best efforts. He couldn’t help but think that his mother had deliberately sent such poor offerings. She obviously wasn’t pleased at all that Marina was here.
“You have been well?” he asked, taking one of the hard biscuits. “How are things going with your family since your return?”
She sighed heavily. “It has been hard, as everything is,” she said, picking at a thread on her sleeve. “Mama is over-protective, hardly wanting me to leave the house. I feel a little smothered, I must admit. Papa is still angry, I think, that it ever occurred, often wondering aloud how this could happen to a girl from a good family. He blames the gypsies.” She smiled.
He nodded. “And have you had any of your memory return? Even a glimmer?”
She sighed again. “Not even a glimmer. It is like a blank slate. I can only assume that my mind is protecting me, and it is a good thing.” Her smile was dazzling. “But I do not want to talk about the past – it serves no purpose. How have you been, Silas?”
He sipped his tea, gazing at her steadily. “I am well enough, Marina. Not much has changed, since we last spoke, which was only three days ago.”
Her smile widened. “Have you visited your new fiancée since then?”
He shook his head. “I have not. I was thinking of calling on Alice today. Why?”
“No matter,” she said, sipping her tea. “Silas, I know that I promised that I would accept your new engagement, but I am struggling with it.” She paused, her large violet eyes glimmering with tears. “Please, is there truly no hope for us? I still love you the same as I ever did. For me, it is as if no time has passed at all. I remember nothing of what happened while I was away from you.”
Silas’s heart started racing. He gazed at her pleadingly.
“Marina, we have spoken of this already,” he said. “I am sorry, but I am committed to Alice now…”
To his alarm she got up and knelt down beside him where he sat on his chair, taking his hand in hers. She gazed up at him entreatingly. “Silas,” she said in a husky voice, her eyes glittering. “You told me once that you could never love another woman. That I was all that you could ever want or desire in your life.”
His heart raced harder. He could discern the scent of the perfume that she always wore. She was leaning over, towards him, so that the bodice of her gown sank low, exposing the tops of her milky white breasts, which were pushed up in an enticing manner.
He couldn’t help it. His gaze lingered on her bosom, remembering the times that he had held those full breasts in his hands. Her low moan of passion as he had tweaked her rosy nipples, begging him for more…
He shifted uncomfortably in the chair, firmly raising his gaze, and fixing it on her face. But that was hardly better. Up close, all he could see was her ruby red lips, so full. The lips that had driven him crazy with desire.
She moaned softly, pressing his hand against her chest, right at the top of her bosom. He could feel her heart beating through her skin. His hand itched to close over one of her breasts, to liberate it from the fabric, to take it in his hand once more, and slowly stroke it.
Quickly, he snatched his hand away, appalled to find it was shaking. She watched him carefully, and started to laugh, husky and low. She knew. She knew what she was doing to him. She was doing it deliberately, using one of the oldest tricks in the book. Her feminine charms. Her beauty. Her sensuality.
“Remember when we used to run away, from the others?” she whispered, placing her other hand on his knee. “Remember when you would take me, and we would both be burning with desire? I miss that, Silas. I want to feel you inside me again.”
He stood up quickly, almost knocking her over in the process. “Marina, you must not say such things,” he said in a trembling voice. “Whatever happened between us is in the past. I am committed to Alice…”
“Oh, Alice, Alice, Alice,” she mocked, standing up, and facing him. “Alice cannot satisfy you, the way that I can. Why, she has the figure of a little girl, and I have never found red hair becoming on a woman.”
He gazed at her, astounded. “You have seen her?”
She tossed her golden ringlets back, with a quick flick of a hand. “I might have gone and visited her, just out of curiosity,” she said, pouting a little. “Why should I not pay my respects to the woman who has taken my place? I must say, I was disappointed. She is so quiet, like a mouse, really. And while she is moderately pretty, she is certainly nothing special. You would sacrifice our love, for her?”
He stepped back from her. He was still trembling, but the desire had fled. This time, he was trembling out of anger.
“You really should not have done that,” he said in a low, angry voice. “You have no right to call on her. She is an innocent in all of this. Promise me that you will do no such thing again.”
She pouted again. “As you wish. I have seen her now, anyway, and have no desire to see her again. She seems rather boring – not someone that I would be great friends with, anyway.” She paused. “I am sure she will make you a good little wife. She will arrange flowers in the local vicarage, and make sure that your clothes are always pressed just right, and all the other boring duties of it. But what about passion, Silas?”
His eyes narrowed. “Alice is a beautiful woman, and I have ample desire for her…”
Marina snorted in derision. “A passing fancy, that is all. As soon as you have her, you will grow bored. I know the type. She will lie there and think of England, waiting for you to do your business, like all good society girls. They have been trained that way, like dogs.” She paused, looking sad. “What we had together was different to that, Silas. A true passion, a meeting of equals. We excited each other, stimulated each other. That does not come along every day. Please, I beg of you, do not throw it away, because you fancy yourself infatuated with this girl.”
He gazed at her, stunned. She had laid all her cards on the table, trying to manipulate him in every way she knew how to get him to capitulate to her. But she had made a tactical error in admitting that she had seen Alice. His protective instincts were roused now, and not even her seduction attempts were enough to dampen them.
“You should leave,” he said in a low voice. “You have said quite enough, Marina. I am sorry that things have turned out as they have, but so it is. I am marrying Alice. I wish all the best for you, of course.”
Her face crumpled. A single tear ran down her cheek. She turned her face away, sobbing piteously.
He didn’t know what to do. Hesitantly, he placed a hand on her shoulder, in a gesture of comfort. “Please, Marina, do not cry. I cannot bear it…”
She turned around slowly, gazing up at him. Her face wa
s tear streaked, making her violet eyes almost dark, the colour of bruised plums. “Please, Silas. I can make you happier than she ever could,” she whispered fervently. She twisted an arm around his neck. “So very happy…”
The next minute she was pressing herself against him, feverishly, twisting a hand into his hair. She pulled his head forward, finding his lips, kissing him ardently.
He felt the shock of her lips moving against his. The softness of them. She moaned, low in her throat, gripping his head tighter, almost like a vice. And then, most alarmingly, he felt her other hand move to his groin, stroking him vigorously, cupping him with her hand.
He pulled away, panting, staring at her. “Is there nothing you will not do?” he said in an anguished whisper. “You act like a whore. Listen to what I say, Marina. It is over between us. For the love of God, would you just accept it, and leave me be? I wanted to remain friends with you, but if you continue to do this…”
She straightened, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. “You cannot blame a girl for trying,” she whispered tremulously. “You are quite a catch, Silas Wilmington. But if you are quite convinced that there can never be anything between us, then I shall accept it. I just wanted you to be sure.”
“I am sure,” he said as his breath slowly regulated. “How many times must I tell you?”
She nodded, looking shamefaced now. “I will not make a fool of myself any longer then,” she said, adjusting her clothing. “I hope we can still be friends, Silas. It would mean the world to me. Other than Lucy, you are the only one who truly knows me, and loves me for who I am.”
He nodded briefly. “Of course we can be friends, Marina. But only if you promise me that you will not try to persuade me in this regard again, and that you leave Alice alone. Do I have your vow?”
She nodded slowly. “You have it. I know when to walk away.” She smiled sadly. “Well, I should take my leave. I think I have outstayed my welcome.”
She walked to the door.
“Wait,” he said, walking towards her. “Marina, it will all get better, I promise you. Life will start to feel normal again, and then this will be just a vague memory. Do not lose hope, that good things are coming your way.”
She smiled tremulously. “I hope so. I have had enough drama and scandal to last me a lifetime, I think.”
And then she was gone.
Silas sank back down into the chair, running a trembling hand through his dishevelled hair. He felt like he had just been playing with fire, and it had scorched him.
He had been close. He had been so very close, to submitting to her. Old memories and old times had coalesced in his mind. It had almost been instinctual to respond to her. But how glad he was now that he had pushed her away, that he had the strength to say no to her.
He couldn’t afford to lose Alice. There must be no danger of that. And while it had been hard to resist Marina, he knew that it was just his body responding to her sensuality and beauty. His heart was another thing entirely.
His heart belonged to Alice. It was as simple as that.
If he had been in any doubt – had entertained any lingering loyalty to Marina, a belief that their old love was still there – it was gone now. It had fled, like fast moving clouds across the sky. She had sunk low in trying to besmirch Alice in his eyes. He could never forgive that, and it told him more than he ever wanted to know about her true character.
Nicholas had been right all along. She was dangerous. But he had been blinded by love before and hadn’t seen it. She had a hardness, a stubbornness about her, that he had never witnessed. But then, he supposed he had never contradicted her before. He had always done exactly as she wanted. She had called the shots in their relationship. He saw it clearly now.
Whatever Marina wanted, Marina had got. If she wanted to attend a late party, in a rough area of town, then that was what she did. If she wanted him to tag along, then he did that, as well. He had never tried to constrain her, thinking that her wild impetuousness was charming.
He still felt sorry for what had happened to her. He knew how hard it must be for her, trying to fit back into good Bath society when everyone was whispering behind her back. But he could only excuse her so far. She had to realise that he was serious when he told her that he no longer wished to marry her.
He picked up his cold tea, taking a sip. Hopefully, she would realise now, once and for all. Perhaps it was necessary for this to happen, for it to get to this point, for her to understand the truth. Perhaps she would finally move on with her life and let him and Alice move on with theirs, at long last.
He grimaced as he took another sip of the cold tea. He hoped that he wasn’t deluding himself.
Chapter 21
Alice sighed deeply as she walked into the foyer of Nicholas’s townhouse, gripping Charlotte’s arm as she saw all the people mingling in the parlour. The invitation had arrived only yesterday – a moderately large house party, where an up-and-coming pianist would be playing at some point.
They weren’t late, not really, but it seemed that most of the guests had already arrived. As they gave their cloaks to the butler and entered the parlour, Alice guessed that there were at least fifteen people mingling there already. She heard loud laughter and chatter in the room beyond as well. Obviously, it was an informal event, where the house was open, and the guests could loiter where they pleased. Everybody was clutching champagne flutes, their eyes bright and glittering.
She frowned slightly, turning to Charlotte. “Silas assured me that he would be here this evening,” she said in a low voice. “But I cannot see him anywhere…”
“Perhaps he is running late,” whispered Charlotte. “We shall find Nicholas and ask him. We should say hello to him first, anyway.”
Nicholas was on the other side of the room, engaged in a conversation with Lord and Lady Langley. But he smiled and waved to them, acknowledging their arrival. A servant approached, offering them tall flutes of bubbling champagne, which he carried on a silver tray. Charlotte took two, handing one to Alice.
As they made their way towards Nicholas, glasses of champagne in hand, Alice could feel eyes on her from a far corner. She turned. It was Lucy. She looked a bit woebegone, clutching her champagne, but smiled tremulously at Alice, waving at her. Alice waved back, willing to make her way over and chat. But at that moment, Lucy deliberately turned around, her back to her.
Alice slowly lowered her hand. Lucy was snubbing her, and yet she had smiled and waved. What was wrong with her? Perhaps it was merely embarrassment after the house call with Marina the other day. Lucy had seemed deeply uncomfortable during it, after all.
They reached Nicholas, who made a great show of greeting them, bowing deeply and kissing their hands.
“Ladies,” he said, his eyes bright with champagne. “You both look divine, as always.” His eyes narrowed a little as he beheld Charlotte. “You especially, Charlotte. Have you done something different with your hair, perchance?”
Charlotte sipped her champagne, gazing at him with amused eyes. “Nothing different, Nicholas. Perhaps you are viewing it through champagne-soaked eyes?”
They all laughed. All except Nicholas, who was gazing at her friend in an almost speculative manner, as if he had never seen her before. It was a little odd. They all felt the sudden tension in the air. “And your gown,” he said slowly, his eyes raking over Charlotte’s figure. “I have never seen you in that shade of blue before. It is most becoming.” He paused. “Matches your eyes…it makes them sparkle.”
Charlotte smiled a little quizzically. “Why, thank you, Nicholas. Even though I am sure you say that to all the ladies.”
There was another awkward pause.
“Nicholas,” said Alice, jumping in to cut the tension, “is Silas here yet?”
Nicholas jumped, as if he had been miles away. He turned to Alice. “No, I am afraid he will be late,” he replied. “He sent a note earlier, saying that he had been waylaid by his father, but that he would definitel
y be here, nonetheless. He just wasn’t sure what time.”