Scandals of Lustful Ladies: A Historical Regency Romance Collection

by Meghan Sloan

  He was a sweet child with an infectious laugh. Sometimes, he could be stubborn and wilful, as his father had said. Once, he had thrown himself to the ground, kicking and screaming, because he had been denied a sweet. But on the whole, he was good-natured. It was easy to see that he was adored by everyone around him. His father, and his nanny, and all of the servants.

  “Oh, Louis,” she said, her heart thumping. “Do you think it is ever going to happen? That we can legally be together, and become a family?”

  He gazed at her steadily. “Of course it will happen,” he said slowly. “How can you doubt it?”

  But, to her appalled surprise, she suddenly burst into tears, running away from him. She felt like her heart was about to break.

  ***

  He followed her outside to the garden, intercepting her, twisting her around. She almost collided with him.

  “Hetty,” he said, frowning. “Why are you crying?”

  She sighed heavily, sniffling, as she hastily wiped away her tears with her lace handkerchief. “I do not rightly know,” she said, in a sad voice. “It is just so hard, I guess. The chances are slim that they will grant me the divorce.” She paused, gazing at him. “And I cannot bear the thought that we cannot be together. Not after it has taken me so long to realise how much I love you.”

  His face twisted. “Hetty, you must have faith,” he said quietly. “I have it. And besides, I will wait for you, even if they do not grant it this time. We will appeal it, and appeal it again if need be. Eventually, we will be a family …”

  She gasped. “Louis, I cannot do it to you,” she said, her face stricken. “Please, promise me that if this does not work, that you shall forget all about me. That you will move on, and love again, and give Ben the mother that he deserves …”

  He looked at her, shocked. “How can you say such a thing? I will not marry anyone, but you. Do you think I am so shallow that I will give up on us at the first hurdle? That I would simply shrug my shoulders and marry the next pretty lady that I see?”

  She sobbed, pressing herself against him. Even hearing the words, made her heart break. The thought of him courting someone else was torture for her. But she had to be strong and make her point.

  “I know that you are not shallow,” she whispered against his chest. “I know that you will stand by me, through thick and thin.” She gazed up at him beseechingly. “I just do not wish to be a burden to you. I do not wish you to waste your life on a love that can go nowhere. A love that can never be …”

  “It is my life to waste,” he declared fiercely, staring down at her. “And if I choose to waste it, loving you, then I would consider it time well spent. Do not push me away, Hetty. Not now, after all that it has taken, for us to be as one mind.”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. If only she had never married Frank Blackmore. If only they had courted before she had ever met the man. Why was life so cruel?

  She had met the love of her life at the Farnham’s ball all those years ago. They could have been happily married, all of this time. It was only a twist of fate that they had lost each other. She knew now that they had always been meant to be together …

  But suddenly, she stopped herself, going along that train of thought. If they had married, all those years ago, then Ben would not be here. It had been meant to happen the way that it did.

  Fate worked in mysterious ways. And she had to believe, once and for all, that they were fated to be together now. She must believe it, or else, what was it all for?

  ***

  He came to her that night after the house had retired for the evening, sneaking through her chamber door, a candle held high in his hand.

  They didn’t say anything. He simply took her in his arms, kissing her passionately. She received his lips like a prayer. And then, he led her to the bed, her arms twined around him.

  “Will it be alright?” she whispered, wanting so hard to believe it.

  “Yes,” he whispered back. “We will be together, Hetty. Nothing will ever tear us apart.” He gazed at her. “I want to make love to you. I want to so badly that it hurts. But to show how committed I am to you, and how much I believe that we will be married, one day, I am willing to wait. I will not make love to you, in full, until our wedding night, my darling.”

  She felt a lump form in her throat. “You would do that for me?”

  He nodded, his green eyes intense in the darkness. “I would do that for you. I will do it for both of us. I hope that you want it as much as I do.”

  She blushed. “I … I do, want to make love to you,” she whispered. “I never thought that I would say those words. But you have shown me that the physical side of love, between a man and a woman, can be wonderful.” She hesitated, her eyes shining. “I am looking forward to our wedding night, so much …”

  He kissed her again, pushing her back onto the mattress, gently. “We may not be able to fully make love,” he whispered against her cheek, “but luckily, there is so much more that we can do besides …”

  Suddenly, they stilled, hearing a creaking in the hallway. A pool of light from a lantern or a candle bobbing through the cracks in the door. He gazed down at her, regretfully.

  “I think I should go,” he whispered. “It isn’t safe to visit you like this. Any of the servants could notice.” He paused, frowning. “We must be careful, Hetty. We do not want there to be any talk that we have been together intimately. Someone might report it to the court, and it would compromise you. You are still a married woman, after all.”

  She nodded, but inside, she was devastated. She wanted him to hold her for just a little while longer. She knew that they could not make love, that Louis was saving that as a promise that they would eventually be married. But they could do other things. They could kiss, and he could touch her, and make those wild sensations sweep over her, once again.

  But slowly, she came to her senses. He was right. She was still a married woman, even if it was in name only. But in the eyes of the law, she was committing adultery by even kissing Louis. If even a whisper of their intimate relationship got to the court, it could ruin everything.

  That Frank was living with his mistress in sin, and they were expecting a child together, would be as nothing compared to the onslaught of abuse that would be heaped upon her. They would probably stone her if they got the chance.

  It was a man’s world, where the law was concerned. She burnt with the injustice of it. But there was simply nothing she could do to change it. And so, they must be very, very careful. It might mean the difference between getting the divorce and not getting it.

  He stared into her face. “It will not be long until we can be together, my darling. You must believe that.”

  She tried to smile before kissing him good night. He crept out of her room as silently as he had entered it, closing the door firmly behind him.

  She sighed, sliding down into the bed, staring at the wall.

  She just wished that it was all over. She just wished that she knew either way what was going to happen. Whether she would end up marrying the love of her life, or whether she was doomed to forever be alone.

  Louis might be waiting an awfully long time to finally make love to her. The promise that it would only happen on their wedding night seemed slightly ominous. She pictured them, old and grey, denying themselves through the years until they could officially wed. Would she have to leap over Frank’s grave to make it possible?

  Despite what he said, he could not wait forever. She could not deny him the right to marry and provide a mother for Ben. And he was still young, able to have other children, as well. He would be giving up such a lot for her. It was too much. Way too much.

  She took a deep breath. She would know very soon if this petition were successful. And if it weren’t, then she would make a decision, then. A decision for both their sakes.

  He would never let her go. She knew that he would keep his promise, and stay by her side, forever if necessary. But she was simply not willing to for
ce him to do that.

  Her heart clenched. She would quietly disappear, go somewhere that he could never find her. The thought of a convent no longer appealed to her, but perhaps it might be an option. It would be for the best, after all.

  Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of it. It would break her heart, clean in two. And she couldn’t even bear to think about his young son and the fact that another woman would be abandoning him, even if she was not a permanent fixture in his life yet.

  None of them deserved this. But if fate decreed that was the path they must follow, then there was simply nothing that she could do about it, anyway.

  Chapter 16

  Louis gazed across the foyer of the building, his heart in his mouth. Hetty was standing there, flanked by her parents. He yearned to cross the few metres that separated them but did not dare. He knew how risky it would be to do such a thing when they were so close to the hearing.

  He studied her covertly. She looked calm and composed, but he knew that it was all a show. Only last night, he had spoken to her, and she had been almost sick with nerves, reiterating her wild idea that if she was not granted this divorce now, then he should abandon her. Give up on her and start afresh.

  He had assured her, yet again, that he would do no such thing, that his heart was hers for all eternity. That they would eventually get her divorce, and that they would be together. She had seemed to accept his declaration, but he was still deeply uneasy that she would act rashly if they were not successful at this hearing.

  He knew that he must be patient with her, that it was overwhelming her. They had waited so long, even to be informed, that this petition was going to be heard. But instead of assuring her that success was one step closer, it had rattled her to the core, dredging up all her insecurities and fears about the process. She simply had no idea of what was about to unfold, and that fact frightened her to the core. She had convinced herself that they were doomed to failure.

  He took a deep breath, his heart flooding with love and desire as he beheld her. She had dressed simply, in a modest grey gown, with a high cream lace collar, and long sleeves. It looked too warm, as the day was already gathering heat. Beads of sweat were already breaking out on her forehead, dampening the glossy chestnut curls framing her face. He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining himself kissing that forehead, tasting the salt of her sweat …

  He opened his eyes, shifting uneasily. He must banish such thoughts, at least for the moment. They were an indulgence, and they weakened him when he had to be sharp as a tack, for her sake. For the sake of the woman, who was the love of his life, and who he was determined to make his wife, once and for all.

  He still couldn’t quite believe that she had finally given her heart to him. That he had convinced her, at long last, of his devotion to her. The revelation about his illegitimate child had almost driven her away from him, but her heart had melted when she beheld Ben in the flesh. When she realised what a divine little boy he was, and that there was no way that he could have abandoned him. She finally realised that he had done the right thing, even if society deemed it wrong.

  He had promised her that he would not fully make love to her until their wedding night, and he intended to keep that vow. To show her how committed he was to her. But his hunger for her was growing, day by day. When he held her in his arms in stolen moments and kissed her, it was growing harder not to make her completely his. Sometimes, it was just easier to avoid those situations, so that the temptation was not there.

  And there was another reason to avoid that temptation, of course. She was a married woman. If anyone discovered their dalliances or even suspected them, it could ruin every chance that she would be granted this divorce. So much was at stake. Once again, he had to draw on those deep reserves of patience that he had almost depleted when he had been trying to woo her.

  The only thing that was getting him through it was the shining light that she would one day be free, and they could finally be together.

  There was movement. The door opened, and Hetty and her parents were ushered through it. He followed at a discreet distance. There was a gallery where he could sit and listen to proceedings.

  She glanced back at him, quickly, her blue eyes large with fright. He tried to smile reassuringly but felt his face crack with the effort. His heart was racing and his palms slick with sweat. The day, and the hour, had finally come, and now, he was as beset by doubt and fear, as she was.

  ***

  He sat down in the chair, gazing around. There were three judges, all high clerics in the church. One wore the robes of a bishop. This particular gentleman sat in the middle, flanked by his fellow clerics, his face as impassive as stone. He did not look particularly impressed as he gazed at Hetty.

  Louis felt a quick stab of fear. These men were God’s servants. They were indoctrinated to believe that woman was the originator of sin in this world. A woman must be humble, meek, and accept her lot in life. They would not look kindly on a woman who dared to challenge the sanctity of marriage, even if she had good cause to do so.

  “Madam,” said the bishop, in a sharp voice. “You have petitioned this court for a dissolution of your marriage.” His gaze turned sharp, and his lip curled. “This is a grave and serious thing that you have undertaken. The church must uphold the vows of marriage, and it is only in exceptional circumstances that they can be broken. Do you understand?”

  Hetty was pale. “Yes, my lord,” she whispered, almost swaying in her chair. “I understand the severity of what I am requesting.”

  “You come here, in sound mind?” he barked.

  “I do,” she said.

  The bishop’s gaze swivelled to Mr. Arnold. “Sir, you testify that your daughter is of sound mind, and fully able, to petition the court, for the dissolution of her marriage? And that she has your blessing, to do so?”

  Hetty’s father nodded grimly. “I do, my lord.”

  The bishop looked sour as if he had suddenly sucked upon a lemon. His lips pursed. “So be it, then. We shall hear your testimony, Mrs Blackmore. But I must stress that it pains me and my fellow brothers in Christ that it has come to this.” He paused, his eyes cold, as he beheld Hetty. “That you have felt compelled to do this when a good Christian woman should meekly accept what the good Lord has seen fit to bestow upon her.”

  Hetty bridled a little. A mutinous expression crossed her face before she composed herself, and the mask slipped back into place. Louis felt another stab of uneasiness. It was going to be hard for Hetty to listen to such platitudes and not express her distaste for them. Could she do it? So much was resting on her ability to do so. These men of God would not take kindly to being challenged in that regard.

  The bishop gazed around the room. “Is Mr Blackmore present? I take it he was informed of these proceedings?”

  “He was, my lord,” said Mr Arnold, clearing his throat. “I wrote a letter to him, at his current address, as soon as we had word that it was going ahead.”

  The bishop nodded. “All is as it should be in that regard, then. We cannot wait for his arrival, but I must impress upon you that if he arrives, we are compelled to listen to his testimony and take it into account.”

  Louis held his breath. He had been waiting, for Frank Blackmore to make an appearance, but the man had not seen fit to show his face. That, at least, was a good omen. Perhaps he simply did not care that Hetty was trying to divorce him. Perhaps he simply wanted to be rid of the marriage as well, so that he could be free to marry his mistress and legitimise his coming child. Perhaps it was not his intention to challenge it, at all.

  But another wave of uneasiness swept over him. It would not be in Frank Blackmore’s interest to end the marriage if he wanted to keep Hetty’s dowry. Yes, he might want to marry his mistress, but surely the desire to fund his love nest in France was stronger than that. It was money, after all, and most men would fight tooth and nail to keep it.