Bound to the Baron

by Gigi Thomas

  “Look, I know I’m not what you expected or Cadence is probably not what you expected in a grandchild. But, I didn’t plan this. The last thing I wanted was to get pregnant while in grad school. So if you think that I was just trying to trap some rich guy or get money or get him to marry me or something, you’re wrong. I wasn’t even going to tell Caden when I saw him the other day, but he figured it out and forced the information from me.

  “Now that it’s out and Cadence knows the truth, I don’t want her to feel like she’s an outsider in what’s supposed to be her own family. I won’t allow that. So, I just want to make sure she’s treated with respect, and while you don’t have to like me I just want to say that for Cadence...and Caden’s sake I guess, it would be nice if you tried or at least pretended not to hate me."

  Finally Lady Hargrove turned around and stood, inspecting her. “Are you quite done?”

  “Um...yes?”

  "You know, perhaps Caden was wrong about you."

  "Wrong?"

  "He’s always said you were such a clever young lady; however I have not seen much evidence of that."

  Well, damn. Kenya stood at a loss for words. She had heard about the British. She’d heard about how they could be cold and curt when they spoke, but Lady Hargrove’s comment cut her to the core. Granted in her head Kenya’s initial response was “thiiiis, bitch,” and if she was a different kind of person, she would be doing some Reality TV hair-snatching right now.

  Kenya took a deep breath while she tried to regain her calm. It didn’t matter. They didn’t need to be friends. Soon her assignment in London would be over, and she and her daughter could get back to the U.S. and not have to worry about these people anymore. With Caden’s track record and his mother’s reaction, Kenya was sure once they left they wouldn’t hear from the Hargroves again.

  Lady Mildred turned around and began to adjust the candles and silverware on the dinner table. She sighed, gently placed a knife down, and turned back to face Kenya.

  "I do not hate you, dear,” Lady Mildred began. “How could I? My son loves you. However, I am not exactly pleased to have missed nearly four years in the life of one of my grandchildren. My first grandchild. Caden's child," Lady Hargrove sighed again, her hand reaching up to the emerald broach on her heart.

  "But,” Lady Mildred continued. “I suppose everyone deals with loss differently. Caden leaving the way he did...well, I cannot imagine it was easy finding out about a baby after just losing the father. Though, I wish we had known. Lord, knows we needed... I never thought..." she cleared her throat and quickly regained her composure, pulling herself back from whatever reality she was seeing in that faraway look that caused her eyes to glaze.

  "I'm sorry Lady Mildred,” Kenya apologized, though, once again, she didn’t know for what.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  About Last Night

  Kenya rubbed her temples and swept her hair behind her ear. She couldn't concentrate. She knew she would not be able to sleep tonight. This year with Caden back in her life, it was even worse. The calendar on her desk taunted her with the date: Her and Caden’s anniversary. It was when they officially started dating, not just being friends or having benefits. Well, it used to be. Kenya couldn’t think about it without remembering the day she found out she was pregnant with Cadence.

  She’d been feeling off all week, and Kenya knew she’d missed her period. She didn’t think much of it though. She wasn’t always regular, though being on The Pill helped. She thought it was the stress of Caden’s disappearance coupled with starting her last year of grad school. The only reason she went to the health center on campus is because she almost passed out during a lecture, and her professor made her go. Kenya tried to convince her that it was because she hadn’t eaten that morning, which was true since she’d felt too nauseated to eat. Later Kenya wondered if, as a mother of two, her professor suspected what was really wrong and that’s why she insisted Kenya seek medical attention.

  Learning she was pregnant should’ve been terrifying, but Kenya took the news with an unexpected calm. She thought about what she would say to Caden, how she would tell him. At no point did she suspect that she would lose him over it or that he would ask her to get rid of the baby. Turns out, he got rid of himself. He had only been gone about a week at that point, and though Kenya planned on making him suffer a while when he returned, she never doubted that he would return. After all, they had just moved her into his apartment a few weeks before. Every night, Kenya held her breath as she walked through the door, but Caden never came home.

  Kenya tried to focus on her work again; instead she remembered waiting for Caden at the restaurant. It was the anniversary of when they first met. Caden loved anniversaries. He celebrated everything. He had made plans with the promise that this would be a day she would never forget.

  He was right.

  Kenya never did forget sitting at the table, alone, until the restaurant closed. She never forgot the sympathetic or amused looks from the other patrons. She never forgot her favorite flowers on the table, mocking her, or the string quartet that for some reason kept playing her favorites, including string versions of Hip Hop songs. It was as if the whole evening was set up to ridicule her, the cherry on top being the fact that he never showed up.

  When Kenya thought of all the years she’d wondered where Caden was and why he left, she often wondered if he found out after all and that’s why he ran away. She knew him knowing she was pregnant was impossible, but Caden did have an eerie way of knowing things about her even before she knew them herself. Abandoning his baby was the last thing she would’ve accused him of, especially considering what he’d said about his own father and how determined he was to be a good father when he had kids. Then again, Caden had said so many things; Kenya didn’t know what to believe. His actions in the end proved she shouldn’t have believed in him at all. Everything she thought she knew about him was a lie. She didn’t even know his real name! How could she think that she ever knew what he really thought or how he really felt?

  Kenya tried to shake those thoughts out of her head, hoping that she could at least get some work done. But, no, she could not do that either. The words and numbers danced around the page without meaning, and every time she thought of work, the scene of Caden bursting into the meeting asking about Cadence ran through her mind.

  Her boss had ripped her a new one for that, and he was about to pull her from the project and bring her back home. Kenya had a feeling that she would only be returning home to clean out her office, so she fought with everything she had to convince him to give her another chance. She really had to deliver these accounts in order to save her job. Now, if only she could focus, so she could actually get her job done. Damn him! How is it that no matter what Caden does or doesn’t do, he tries to destroy her life?

  She looked over at the bar set-up contemplating taking a shot of something, but she was afraid that if she took one shot that would be the end of it all. Kenya knew she had no tolerance for liquor. She’d probably end up drinking more than she should and drunk dialing Caden, crying and yelling at him for ruining her life. The sudden knock on the door made her start. Was there an emergency in the building or something? It was too late for anyone to be visiting her, and, she hadn’t been here long enough to have friends to give her address.

  "Caden?!" she said opening the door. Kenya stepped back and allowed him to enter, not asking why Caden was on her doorstep at such an hour. "Ugh, you reek," she said as he walked past her.

  Caden looked as though he had not seen sunlight in days, and the smell of liquor seemed to permeate from his very pores. He looked disheveled, and his tan cashmere sweater looked as if he’d slept in it. It had been a few days since she’d last seen him, but his hair, which he now wore buzzed close to his head had grown out a bit. His eleven o’clock shadow indicated he hadn’t shaved since their last meeting. Tightly to his chest, he clutched a half empty bottle of amber liquor.

  Kenya couldn’t tell how lo
ng he’d been drinking, but he wasn’t dressed as though he’d been out. He didn’t smell like the mixture of tobacco, sweat, and perfume that was common when returning from a night out. The crystal decanter he clutched in his hand was not what one bought alcohol in at a liquor store or club. No, he looked as though he’d been drinking home alone and then just decided to come there. Why on earth, Kenya could not fathom.

  "I shouldn't be here, should I? Did I wake you?" He asked, though not appearing interested in the answer.

  "I couldn't sleep anyway," Kenya admitted.

  Caden's eyes instantly flashed to hers, as if understanding what she meant. He looked as though, he couldn't sleep tonight either. Kenya shook the thought from her head.

  "Well, since were both awake, let's have a drink." He said holding his arms out to her.

  "I think you're drunk enough already," Kenya stated, leading him inside.

  “Nope. Not nearly enough.” Caden could barely stand straight, and wore a huge grin on his face. It wasn't a happy one though. It was pained and forced.

  Kenya quickly led him from the open living room to the office, closing the door behind them. She did not need Caydee waking up to see Caden like this.

  "Come on, Yaya. Have a drink with me." He grabbed two glasses from the bar before heading to the sofa.

  "No thanks," she said, this time restraining the comment that he'd had more than enough, himself. Whatever his problem tonight, it appeared Caden was determined to drink it away, or at least to try. “And, stop calling me that!”

  "Fine! Come on, Kenyaaa!" Caden said. "Have a drink with me. Don't be such a prude."

  "I'm not being a—"

  "But, I guess you’ve moved on. You probably don't need a drink tonight."

  "Fine!" Kenya could already tell that this was going to be a long night, but whatever game he was playing, she was not about to let Caden win. She joined him on the sofa and turned to face him, tucking one leg under her, as he tried to pour the drinks out. When he spilled some on his shirt—and a bit on the sofa—she took the bottle away from him and did the honors herself.

  "Aren't you going to make a toast?" Caden said, a dark tormented look in his eyes. “I’m celebrating, you know, in the worst possible way.”

  "What are you celebrating?" she asked, crossing her arms, unimpressed. She was not going to placate him, drunk though he was. Kenya didn’t know what he was trying to do. She didn’t know what he wanted her to say. She knew Caden couldn’t be out here thinking about their anniversary. She was sure he forgot it long ago. Of course, why he came to see her drunk and upset on this of all days was unnerving.

  “I can’t tell you.” Leaning closer, he placed his index finger against her lips, “shh, it’s a secret.”

  “Caden, you’re drunk,” she said, smacking his hand away. She didn’t know how exactly he could claim to be celebrating, because Caden didn’t look anywhere near happy.

  The tormented look in his eyes reminded Kenya of how he looked at the end of his first play-date with Caydee. She had lashed out at him in response to the emotion she’d felt at him remembering Tasha, and her words seemed to flay him. But seriously! How could he remember something that small from so long ago? It had been almost five years, damn it! Why did he remember that? Tasha’s career and her intended visit didn’t affect Caden’s life in the least. It should’ve held no significance to him. So, why did he remember?

  I remember everything about you. Kenya shook his words from her head. She couldn’t figure out Caden, and it was frustrating. He made her vacillate between hating him and another emotion Kenya couldn’t quite name, or refused to. It didn’t matter, Kenya decided. Even if it did, this wasn’t the time to try to solve that riddle.

  “It’s late.” Kenya rose and, taking Caden’s hands, got him to his feet much easier than she had expected. “We should both go to bed.”

  “Yes,” Caden agreed, pulling Kenya into an embrace. “Let’s go to bed, Yaya,” he whispered in her ear. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. How many times I have thought about you.”

  As Caden’s arms tightened around her, Kenya’s face was pressed into his shoulder. His beard was prickling her cheek as he began kissing her neck. Kenya’s eyes closed, and she sighed. Breathing in Caden’s scent, mingled with the aroma of the scotch on his breath, was strangely intoxicating for her as well.

  Wait. What the hell? Did Caden really think she was asking him to have sex right now? Was he arrogant enough to think that all he had to do is touch her, and she would just fall into his arms again? Oh, hell naw!

  “Cay...” As Kenya moved to step away, Caden brought his lips to hers.

  Kenya was stunned. It was less by the kiss itself than by the nature of it. This wasn’t the lust-filled kiss from someone who was drunk and horny. Caden wasn’t cocky or demanding as if he thought he owned her. His kiss was sweet, chaste even. The purity of it made Kenya start, eliciting an unexpected emotional response from her. It was like their first kiss, tender and unassuming. Caden’s lips were almost hesitant, questioning, and Kenya’s answered in return.

  Fueled by her reply, his appetite increased. Caden groaned against her lips, and his tongue hungrily entered her mouth to taste hers. His languid strokes as he savored her response began to coax her into submission, and Kenya let out a soft moan. Gingerly taking one of Kenya’s hands, Caden cautiously rested it on his shoulder. The feeling of his kiss was making her body simmer, and Kenya reached her other hand around his neck, pulling herself closer. Caden responded in kind; his hand went into her hair, his fingers getting lost in its thick mass.

  His other hand slipped under her shirt, and Kenya gasped against his lips. Her body broiled at the feeling of Caden’s fingertips against her bare skin. It was too much. Too fast. What was she doing? Whether in response to her reaction or not, Kenya didn’t know, but Caden didn’t reach higher to fondle her breasts or lower to grab her ass. Instead his hand rested on the curve of her back, as he clutched her tightly, pulling her more firmly against him.

  Though his hand appeared sated by simply touching her skin, Caden’s mouth was devouring Kenya’s with such relish, he seemed intent on swallowing her whole. Greedily, he clung to her, as if he was kissing her for the last five years put together, as if Kenya’s lips were his only nourishment. Kenya felt her stomach quake, her knees begin to buckle, and she clutched his shoulders to stay upright. Her body was on fire, and Kenya couldn’t believe that after all this time she still reacted that way to his kiss. Her skin was so sensitive to his touch that her body involuntarily moved toward him.

  “Caden,” Kenya whispered, ripping herself away. His kisses, momentarily returning to her neck, made her even more breathless. “I...”

  With an insatiable growl, his lips ravenously returned to hers, and Kenya immediately forgot her protests. What the hell was happening to her?—Kenya thought. Caden’s eager body was now sandwiching her against the oak desk. He picked her up and sat her atop it and moved closer, so he was standing between her thighs. Kenya’s legs immediately wrapped around his waist, and she could feel his hardness slowly thrusting against her. No! What the hell was she doing? Kenya was trying her best to remember all the reasons this was a bad idea from Caden’s random drunken appearance to his random sober disappearance, and the fact that he still never explained either.

  “Wait...Stop!” Using all her strength, she pushed him away.

  In his drunkenness, Caden stumbled backward, Kenya’s sudden force unbalancing him. He lost his footing and fell back onto the edge of the sofa, sliding on the smooth brown leather before falling to the floor. Looking around stunned, he tried to catch his breath.

  “Sorry.” He swallowed audibly, still panting. “I know I shouldn’t have done that. Bollocks. Even when I try to do the right thing, I still cock it up, don’t I? Huh. I'm just like him. Everything I do, every decision I make is always wrong. People get hurt. I’ll go.” He was trying to stand and had to use his hands to pull him up on the sofa first in
order to accomplish the feat.

  Kenya watched him struggle to regroup. What she would normally view as the disgusting dealings of a sloppy drunk felt more like it deserved pity. There was a darkness in Caden’s eyes that she couldn’t place. What the hell was going on with him? Why was he acting like this today of all days? Was it just a coincidence? And, did he really expect her to just fall back into his arms? It’s not like he fell into his life. He was the one who made the decision. He chose to leave. Why should she feel bad for refusing him?

  Whatever was going on with Caden, Kenya was sure it had nothing to do with her. The fact that it affected him this much was bothering her though, and Kenya was annoyed that she cared. In the year they’d spent together at Harvard, all the parties and events, Kenya had only seen Caden drunk a handful of times, probably with digits to spare.

  His father was apparently not only a chronic drinker but also a nasty drunk, who got more vicious with time, drinking himself to an early grave. As a result, Caden had never been particularly fond of the loss of control that alcohol affords. Kenya knew it was, in part, because he was afraid he would become just like him. This falling-down drunk was not the Caden she knew. Of course, Caden was not the Caden she knew, Kenya reminded herself. She shouldn’t get ahead of herself, thinking that she knew him. She didn’t know him at all.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled. He finally got to his feet, and stood with his arms out to his sides for balance. He looked around a bit as if to establish that he would stay vertical.

  “Caden—”

  “Don’t worry, I’m leaving,” he replied, turning towards the door. “It’s what I’m good at, right?”

  “Stay.” Once again, Kenya didn’t know why. Why should she care that he was upset or that he was going through some existential crisis?

  “Really?” He immediately turned to face her with an expectant smile, his eyes brightening. “You want me to stay?”

  “Not with me,” she amended quickly, waving her hands before her as if to ward him off or create an invisible force field between them, ideally both. “It’s just...you don’t look like you can make it home right now, and since Cadence is getting fond of you, I don’t want you to do anything stupid and end up dead or something.” She just had to explain to her daughter that her father was alive, the last thing Kenya needed was to have to explain that he was dead again.