OSTEND: Metaphorically / the dolls / the toys / the little bed / three floors of memory / but then / I stopped / as it were / in mid-air /
(She tightens her lips.)
And Mr Doobee being there /
(She is adamant.)
I was comforted /
(She lets the idea hang in the air. DOOBEE appears.)
DOOBEE: Bags in the car /
OSTEND: (Her eyes on CHILDLIKE still.) Darling /
(She turns to go with DOOBEE.)
CHILDLIKE: THE DOOR FELL OPEN / WHY? /
(OSTEND stops. She turns to face CHILDLIKE.)
OSTEND: You know why /
(She injures CHILDLIKE with her gaze, then departs.)
CHILDLIKE: I DON’T / I DON’T KNOW WHY /
(The whine of the electric motor announces
ARCHITECT’s appearance.)
ARCHITECT: Don’t let them go /
CHILDLIKE: (Instinctively obedient.) DON’T GO /
ARCHITECT: No / follow them /
CHILDLIKE: Follow them? /
ARCHITECT: THEY MAY NOT GO /
(CHILDLIKE hastens after OSTEND.)
CHILDLIKE: NOT TO GO /
(As CHILDLIKE’s voice travels from outside,
PORTSLADE enters, pale and clasping a pet.)
PORTSLADE: Belinda’s dying /
ARCHITECT: (Supremely indifferent.) Belinda? /
PORTSLADE: Belinda / yes /
(ARCHITECT manoeuvres the bed closer to the door.)
ARCHITECT: (Calling to CHILDLIKE.) BEG THEM / BEG /
PORTSLADE: On the first floor / was a dancer /
ARCHITECT: (To PORTSLADE.) He can’t hear me /
PORTSLADE: Survived a plane crash /
ARCHITECT: Can he? /
PORTSLADE: In a jungle /
ARCHITECT: (Calling to CHILDLIKE.) LIE DOWN IN FRONT OF THE CAR /
(ARCHITECT strains to hear the result of her
instructions.)
PORTSLADE: That Belinda /
(ARCHITECT ignores PORTSLADE. Her face is a mask of
tension. After some seconds have elapsed, DOOBEE walks in.)
32
DOOBEE: (Patiently.) Your mother senses the futility of persisting with a reconciliation which /
ARCHITECT: It wasn’t you /
DOOBEE: Is so one-sided /
ARCHITECT: Was it? / It wasn’t you /
DOOBEE: She wonders therefore if you would consent to /
ARCHITECT: You must have been a boy /
DOOBEE: Her staying in a hotel? /
33
ARCHITECT: He was obscure / possibly because I consigned him to obscurity / or equally possibly / his obscurity was literal / he was unilluminated / the time of day / the time of year / it was January / and an afternoon / in any case / I knew / by intuition / his utter insignificance / you too are insignificant / I am not critical / I am not denigrating you /
PORTSLADE: She doesn’t want a doctor / Belinda / she wants a priest /
DOOBEE: My significance / if I have any / is better understood / I daresay / by your mother /
PORTSLADE: Unlikely / I said / you will be satisfied on that score / but I would ask anyway /
ARCHITECT: No priest /
PORTSLADE: No priest / that is what I said you’d say /
ARCHITECT: (To PORTSLADE.) Waiting for the appearance of a priest merely delays the dying /
PORTSLADE: I have observed that /
ARCHITECT: Whereas / convinced no priest can possibly appear /
PORTSLADE: They hasten on their way /
ARCHITECT: Say I am adamant /
PORTSLADE: I will do /
(PORTSLADE shuffles, stops.)
Oh / and she says thank you /
(He departs. DOOBEE gazes at ARCHITECT, who
cannot observe him.)
DOOBEE: To the extent that / on that particular / and terrible day /
ARCHITECT: Not terrible /
DOOBEE: (Deflected.) Not terrible? /
(He fathoms ARCHITECT’s dissent.)
Not terrible / that day? /
(She is silent.)
Forgive me / I allowed myself / in an unguarded moment / to be conventional in describing as terrible a day in which a child / flinging herself from a window three storeys from the ground / became impaled on railings / I am properly corrected for my presumption / you / and you alone / are qualified to say how terrible the day was / or if it was not terrible at all /
(He is satisfied.)
As for my insignificance / and the insignificance of him who sat beside your mother in the rear seats of the car / you may be right there too / but in describing him as obscure / unilluminated / I think / was your description / I wonder if you have not yourself indulged a prejudice / as if all afternoons were dark / which is not strictly true / whilst it was winter / there was snow on the ground / thin snow / and snow both intensifies light / and reflects it / so / far from being lost in the penumbra / his face may have been lurid / I don’t know /
ARCHITECT: You were not there /
DOOBEE: I was not there / but even so /
ARCHITECT: You were not there /
DOOBEE: No /
ARCHITECT: You were a child /
DOOBEE: I was /
ARCHITECT: A hundred miles away /
DOOBEE: Or more /
ARCHITECT: A hundred / two hundred / and blissfully unaware of /
(The sound of a car horn. Instinctively DOOBEE goes
to obey its summons.)
DOOBEE: She’s calling me /
ARCHITECT: Yes / but you need not go /
DOOBEE: (Puzzled.) Need not go? /
ARCHITECT: So swiftly /
DOOBEE: Not go so swiftly / no / I suppose I need not /
ARCHITECT: I have to know if /
(The horn repeated. The sound acts like a shock to
DOOBEE.)
DON’T GO /
(Her command stops DOOBEE in his tracks.)
Going up to your room /
(The phrase causes ARCHITECT to frown.)
Going up /
(She frets. Her face is strained from the extent of her
concentration.)
GOING UP TO YOUR ROOM YOU /
34
OSTEND enters. The sound of her heels on the tiles alerts ARCHITECT, who emits a single, stricken sound, half-sob, half-jeer. OSTEND stops.)
OSTEND: A situation is developing /
DOOBEE: (Sensing a rebuke.) Yes / yes / I /
OSTEND: A situation of extraordinary stupidity / you know how I hate that / to be in stupid situations /
DOOBEE: Yes /
OSTEND: Especially when the stupidity is imposed on me by someone else /
DOOBEE: Yes /
OSTEND: If I wish to be inveigled into a stupid situation / I will contrive the circumstances myself /
DOOBEE: Yes / I was explaining to /
OSTEND: I am talking / I am talking / Doobee /
DOOBEE: Yes /
OSTEND: (Patiently.) I am seated in the car / not in the rear seats / in the front / the one-eyed individual who claims to enjoy arguing has draped itself across the bonnet and is staring at me through the glass /
DOOBEE: I’m so sorry /
OSTEND: This might be tolerable / but I discover / happening to glance in the mirror / we have acquired an audience / at every window / these faces / no / not faces / masks / masks of morbid curiosity /
DOOBEE: I am so sorry /
OSTEND: (Swiftly.) WHY? / WHY SORRY / DOOBEE? / DID THE SITUATION ORIGINATE IN YOU? /
DOOBEE: (Stung into a stern defence.) Obviously it did not originate in me / but I should have acted in such a way as to prevent this situation / any situation / developing which discomforts or embarrasses you /
(OSTEND admires DOOBEE.)
OSTEND: Yes / perhaps you should / now / bring in the bags again /
DOOBEE: But we /
OSTEND: The bags / darling /
DOOBEE: The hotel in th
e village / we /
OSTEND: DO NOT ARGUE / KISS / KISS /
(The urgency of OSTEND’s plea draws DOOBEE to
her lips.)
Don’t argue /
DOOBEE: No /
(They resume the kiss.)
OSTEND: Don’t / don’t /
DOOBEE: Never / never argue /
(DOOBEE frees himself from OSTEND and goes out.
OSTEND is thoughtful. ARCHITECT gazes.)
35
ARCHITECT: Beautifully joyless /
36
ARCHITECT: Her thighs so spread /
37
ARCHITECT: And this / oh / this immensity / of hair / of flesh /
(She wonders.)
If she had only said /
(She strains to imagine.)
The joy / darling / the joy in this /
(She tightens her mouth.)
A child of six might /
(DOOBEE enters, with the baggage. He stops.)
Possibly / have understood that this flayed animal / all hanging out her clothes / vivisected / posed for an atrocity / was in the throes of something adult / ugly obviously / but so much is ugly that is adult / a child of six already knows / instead /
(She stops. DOOBEE, uncomfortable, starts to move.)
She gazed /
(DOOBEE stops.)
Beautiful and joyless her grey gaze / as if / as if /
(ARCHITECT ceases at the point of her speculation.)
If you’re not happy with the single bed / the woman called Belinda / once a dancer / has no further use for hers / she’s dead /
(DOOBEE casts a glance at OSTEND, and proceeds to
the staircase.)
38
OSTEND: I so nearly fled /
ARCHITECT: I stopped you /
OSTEND: You stopped me /
ARCHITECT: For which I know you’ll thank me /
OSTEND: I think so /
ARCHITECT: If not today /
OSTEND: Tomorrow / probably /
ARCHITECT: To come / and then to go /
OSTEND: Silly /
ARCHITECT: I want my mother to know peace /
OSTEND: Thank you /
ARCHITECT: To walk in quiet ways / with lowered head / her hands disposed as the wind disposes them /
OSTEND: Penitent /
ARCHITECT: If necessary / yes /
(OSTEND declines to engage her daughter, and turns
to follow DOOBEE.)
Mr Doobee called the day terrible /
(OSTEND stops.)
Is that how it was described to him? /
39
OSTEND judges her riposte.
OSTEND: I have a sense that in recalling it for Mr Doobee’s benefit / and I keep nothing from him / I should have emphasized the exquisite character of the thing that took place in the car that afternoon / and not its consequence /
(ARCHITECT, gazing away from OSTEND, who is
not visible to her, is icily still. After a moment’s
consideration, OSTEND proceeds.)
But Mr Doobee is a sensitive man / uncommonly sensitive in one so young / and if I impressed on him one form of the terrible / the terrible wonder a mother knew on those rear seats / he is perfectly capable of finding differently terrible the spectacle of her daughter spiked and writhing on that fence /
(The effort of articulation shakes OSTEND’s
resolution.)
I CAN / BELIEVE ME / LOWER MY HEAD / I CAN /
(She trembles.)
LOWER MY HEAD /
(Far from doing so, OSTEND tosses her head and
marches away in the direction taken by DOOBEE.
ARCHITECT is aware much of this has been observed.
CHILDLIKE emerges from the obscurity of the
doorway.)
40
ARCHITECT: The brown car /
CHILDLIKE: Hard /
ARCHITECT: Hard / was it? /
CHILDLIKE: And slippery /
ARCHITECT: Polished / I expect /
CHILDLIKE: Polished / certainly / but also wet / so whereas I had no difficulty in clambering on the bonnet / it was altogether harder maintaining my position there / the higher I climbed / the further I slid /
ARCHITECT: (Inspired.) The windscreen wipers /
CHILDLIKE: Yes /
ARCHITECT: Cling to the windscreen wipers /
CHILDLIKE: Exactly / exactly what I did / and all the time she glared at me /
ARCHITECT: To no effect /
CHILDLIKE: A peculiar proximity / on one side of the glass / a decaying queen / and on the other / a one-eyed monkey / one-eyed and half-dead /
ARCHITECT: You are not half-dead /
CHILDLIKE: The smell of steel / of petrol / and off-white upholstery /
(CHILDLIKE goes to leave, but stops.)
Beautifully kept / the brown car /
ARCHITECT: Yes /
CHILDLIKE: It rarely moves / I think / and surely / it has never crashed? /
ARCHITECT: Mr Doobee would know that /
(CHILDLIKE withdraws, thoughtfully.)
41
Two women of THE MORTALLY ILL enter, one with towels and basin, one with a jug of warm water. They hesitate.
WINDUS: All right / now? /
MOMPER: Is now all right? /
42
ARCHITECT: I am not sure /
WINDUS: We know you’re not /
ARCHITECT: I am not sure if I should be washed /
MOMPER: (Proceeding to the BASIN.) It’s the ethical dimension /
(WINDUS folds down ARCHITECT’s gown.)
ARCHITECT: Not hot /
WINDUS: Never hot / darling /
ARCHITECT: Tepid /
WINDUS: It is tepid /
(As MOMPER fills the BASIN from the jug.)
Isn’t it / darling? / tepid? /
MOMPER: The ethical dimension / creates a dilemma / not only for you /
WINDUS: (Preparing ARCHITECT.) Towel /
MOMPER: (Approaching with the BASIN.) Also for us /
(WINDUS arranges the towel. MOMPER attends.)
There is hygiene /
(WINDUS squeezes a sponge.)
Which is not ambiguous /
(WINDUS proceeds to wash ARCHITECT’s naked
back.)
And there is love /
WINDUS: Tepid enough? /
MOMPER: We wash ourselves / that’s hygiene /
WINDUS: Arm /
MOMPER: But when another washes us /
WINDUS: Hand /
MOMPER: We can’t help wondering /
WINDUS: Back /
MOMPER: If we are loved enough /
WINDUS: Back of hand /
MOMPER: If they deserve this /
WINDUS: (Taking the towel.) Cover up now / cover up /
MOMPER: (Placing the bowl on the floor.) Intimacy /
(She proceeds to towel ARCHITECT’s upper body.)
Intimacy must be earned /
(WINDUS exposes the lower part of ARCHITECT’s
body.)
I am saying / it might be preferable / to be abandoned to one’s dirt /
WINDUS: More than tepid now /
MOMPER: Than be offered up for loveless washing /
WINDUS: (Sweetly.) These little feet /
MOMPER: I don’t know / I am only thinking / is that the ethical dimension? /
WINDUS: (Sponging.) Child’s feet /
MOMPER: And hands /
WINDUS: So pretty / darling /
MOMPER: After the accident / I think I’m right in saying this / only the extremities ceased to grow /
WINDUS: So pretty /
MOMPER: Dry / dry now /
WINDUS: (Replacing the cover on ARCHITECT.) All done /
MOMPER: And off we go /
(MOMPER is shocked to find her wrist is tightly gripped by ARCHITECT. She casts a glance at WINDUS, who is chilled.)
ARCHITECT: Say a cruel thing /
(MOMPER is puzzled. Her gaze st
ays on WINDUS,
who bites her lip.)
MOMPER: (To give herself time.) A cruel thing? / a cruel thing? / what kind of thing? /
(ARCHITECT declines to help MOMPER.)
That hurts /
(THE MORTALLY ILL are seen to enter the room,
holding or leading their pets. They gather, inquisitive,
trembling.)
All right I’ll / that hurts / that so hurts /
(She appeals to WINDUS with her eyes. The pain
inspires her.)
THROW YOURSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW /
(ARCHITECT’s grip tightens.)
ONTO THE RAILINGS / GO ON / GO /
(MOMPER winces.)
ARCHITECT: Not cruel /
MOMPER: (Horrified.) Not cruel? / that kind of thing / though? /
(She regards the audience.)
Along the lines of /
(ARCHITECT hurts her more.)
SO YOUR MOTHER HAD HER LEGS OPEN / THAT’LL TEACH LITTLE GIRLS TO GO /
(She shakes her head in despair.)
Spying on /
(She is hurt more and utters shrilly.)
FUCKING IN A CAR / THAT’S SOMETHING YOU’LL NEVER KNOW /
(She is hurt even more.)
IN A CAR OR OUT OF ONE /
(She weeps as ARCHITECT’s grip tightens.)
THE PISS RAN DOWN HER LEGS SHE WAS SO /
(MOMPER cannot proceed. ARCHITECT frees her
wrist. MOMPER nurses her injury, unable to lift her
eyes from the floor. A tremor runs through the
MORTALLY ILL. The pets whimper. The sound of
the electric motor precedes the departure of
ARCHITECT. A strained silence holds the MORTALLY
ILL in suspension for some time.)
43
WINDUS: (Going to MOMPER.) Lie down / darling / lie down /
(MOMPER, bursting into tears, runs from the room.)
44
THE MORTALLY ILL, sensing it is safe to do so, begin to laugh, at first guiltily, then without control. The dogs bark in sympathy. When at last they cease, they are transformed.
LOOS: The door did not fall open / let us be scrupulous in our use of language /
ATTO: The handle was depressed / and from the inside /
LOOS: The inside / certainly /
ATTO: Nothing was accidental / therefore /
LOOS: The sequence of events / beginning with the opening of the door /
Barker, Plays Eight Page 26