ATTO: And ending with the impaling of a child upon a fence /
LOOS: Was at every stage / deliberate /
ATTO: And must be talked of in the active / and not in the passive / tense /
(They are quite still. CHILDLIKE frowns with
concentration.)
CHILDLIKE: It follows / possibly you are not aware of this / that once we admit the door did not fall open /
LOOS: We have admitted it /
CHILDLIKE: You have admitted it / in which case what I am about to say is possibly superfluous / you simultaneously commit yourselves / not only to describing this event / but to understanding the reasons which determined it /
(It is satisfied by the prospect.)
Dense and complex argument lies ahead of us / scholarly and dialectical / which /
(It is thrilled.)
Given our state of health / we cannot expect to see the end of /
(It is exultant.)
So / taking the single proposition we now regard as self-evident /
(He proposes the subject with gravity.)
SHE OPENED THE DOOR /
(He bites his lip in his excitement. He looks from
one to the other.)
SHE / OPENED / THE / DOOR /
(Like a besotted teacher, he poses his question.)
Why? /
(THE MORTALLY ILL frown with concentration. The
pets mew.)
45
DOOBEE wanders in, hands in pockets, preoccupied.
SLUMP: (From the back.) Caroline’s been sick again /
ALDRINGTON: Oh God /
BASIN: Oh God / darling /
ALDRINGTON: Caroline /
SLUMP: Fuck / oh fuck /
PORTSLADE: All right / all right /
ALDRINGTON: (Assisting CLING.) Caroline /
ATTO: Steady / sweetheart /
(THE MORTALLY ILL, to the accompaniment of
wailing pets, shuffle out, watched by DOOBEE with
a mixture of horror and disgust.)
CHILDLIKE: (Interpreting DOOBEE’s expression.) There are no nurses here /
(DOOBEE frowns.)
They have a tendency to interfere with natural processes / dying for example /
(DOOBEE stares.)
Medical intervention / misplaced philanthropy / and so on /
(He taunts DOOBEE.)
Only adds years to lives which /
(He is mischievous.)
Argue with this if you want to /
(He smiles.)
Are worthless even to those condemned to struggle with the decaying remnants of them /
(He fails to provoke DOOBEE.)
This is Miss Architect’s opinion / you might want to disagree / but then / you have whole life / whereas we / we are fragments /
(DOOBEE looks at CHILDLIKE.)
Whole life / and a car /
(CHILDLIKE gazes on DOOBEE. DOOBEE shifts
uneasily.)
DOOBEE: Yes /
CHILDLIKE: A brown car /
DOOBEE: Brown / or to be precise / umber /
CHILDLIKE: (Pondering this.) Umber /
(It plays with the word.)
Umber / umber car / umber with /
(It is triumphant.)
OFF-WHITE UPHOLSTERY /
(It smiles.)
I cannot say I have examined it closely / but crawling on it /
(Its smile deepens.)
I gained the impression that / despite its age / this umber car is in perfect order / rust-free / uncorroded / immune / it appears / immune to decay /
(Its eyes taunt DOOBEE.)
I imagine / sitting in the rear seats / it seems like only yesterday /
(It stops. It hangs its head, a different provocation.)
She /
(It breaks the tension.)
DECAY / THE FIRST LAW OF EXISTENCE / DID SHE NOT SAY? /
(CHILDLIKE seems to waver as OSTEND idly enters
the room. She stops. Without lifting its head, CHILDLIKE
flees.)
46
DOOBEE: She desires me /
(OSTEND drifts back and forth, and stops.)
Not for my appearance / nor my voice / nor anything I say /
(OSTEND resumes walking.)
Strictly speaking / who I am plays little or no part in it / I am insignificant / or to put it another way / the huge significance I have acquired exists without reference to me / this kind of desire is the worst / I don’t think we can stay /
(OSTEND regards DOOBEE.)
Can we? / how can we stay? /
(And regards him longer.)
You want to stay /
(DOOBEE purses his lips.)
I don’t / I don’t / but you do / you want to stay so who /
OSTEND: Doobee /
DOOBEE: Cares for my opinion? /
OSTEND: Doobee /
DOOBEE: (Petulantly.) A SITUATION IS DEVELOPING /
(He fixes her with a stare.)
A situation which / I am reluctant to say this /
OSTEND: Say it /
DOOBEE: I hate to argue /
OSTEND: We both do /
DOOBEE: YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ANTICIPATED /
(His fingers work.)
And which / kiss me / delights or gratifies you / kiss me / darling /
(OSTEND is thoughtful.)
OSTEND: We’ll go /
DOOBEE: (Transformed.) I’ll get the bags down / kiss me /
OSTEND: And if some dwarf clings to the bonnet /
DOOBEE: I’ll throw him off / kiss me / kiss me / I’m so /
OSTEND: Fetch the bags / Doobee /
DOOBEE: Kiss me /
OSTEND: (Brutally.) NO / NO / NO KISSING / NO /
(DOOBEE stares at OSTEND. Swiftly he smacks her
face. She smarts. Immediately his head hangs, his
hands make fists at his sides. A single deep sob comes
from him. He stares at the floor.)
DOOBEE: There have been priests / and these priests /
(He suffers. He lifts his gaze to OSTEND.)
knew more of God / than God Himself did /
(OSTEND frowns.)
not a good thing / not a good thing / probably /
(He turns to go. She pulls him strongly to her and
grasping him by the back of his head with one hand,
kisses him firmly, not letting his mouth part from
hers even as the sound of the electric bed announces
their imminent discovery.)
47
The mobile bed cruises into the room. ARCHITECT’s routine posture deprives her of any visual means of establishing the presence of the lovers. Nevertheless she senses it. The bed stops. DOOBEE squirms. OSTEND holds him in the kiss.
ARCHITECT: Smell you /
(The lovers are stock still.)
48
ARCHITECT: Smell you / and you might think / in this miasma of corruption nothing could be distinguished / but all would be suffocated in the odour of the sick / an odour thick as furnishing / draperies of nausea / tapestries of stench /
(She is exquisitely provocative.)
But there is rot and rot /
(She insinuates her cruelty.)
Rot and rot / and some so sweet / oh / they smother putrefactions that might dare compete / the decay of love / really / I can scarcely breathe /
(ARCHITECT smiles. OSTEND, not removing her
mouth from DOOBEE’s, with her free hand begins to
remove his clothes. He is discomforted but dares not
protest. Acutely sensitive to sound, ARCHITECT is
fascinated but wary.)
I think too much / that is the worst pain of paralysis / at least for me /
(She frowns, listening.)
Whereas as a child I thought hardly at all / and my life was shaped / cruelly some would say / by spontaneity /
(Having removed DOOBEE’s jacket, OSTEND with
a deliberate gesture, fling
s it over the mobile bed. It
is registered by ARCHITECT.)
Now I think too much / nothing is obvious /
(She detects OSTEND stripping the shirt from DOOBEE’s
back.)
What might be clear as daylight to another is / oh / a sunless maze of discrepancy to me / for example /
(The shirt is flung on the bed. ARCHITECT registers
its arrival. OSTEND proceeds to unbutton DOOBEE’s
trouser. Again ARCHITECT senses, with a frown of
concentration, what transpires beyond her field of
vision. DOOBEE suffers but does not resist.)
The nakedness of Mr Doobee /
(DOOBEE’s trousers fall.)
Whilst representing itself as a gift /
(OSTEND nimbly slips off his underwear.)
Cannot be a thing freely and wholeheartedly donated / is any gift? /
(DOOBEE is naked.)
For example /
(ARCHITECT creates a small and insincere laugh.)
I keep saying for example / excuse my classroom manner /
(She smiles.)
It might be apology /
(The last word acts as a closing bracket to OSTEND’s
long kiss.)
49
OSTEND walks out, her footsteps disappearing into silence.
DOOBEE: I’m not a gift /
(He squirms.)
I’m not a gift / a gift is given / I can’t be given / I’m not property /
ARCHITECT: But naked / you are naked / Mr Doobee? /
DOOBEE: Naked / yes / naked but not property /
(Suddenly.)
Not entirely naked / I have socks on / I have shoes /
ARCHITECT: Socks spoil nakedness /
DOOBEE: I agree /
(He is uncomfortable.)
ARCHITECT: Remove the socks then / Mr Doobee /
DOOBEE: Remove them? / I could remove them / I could do that / yes /
(He fails to act.)
Alternatively / I could dress /
ARCHITECT: Don’t dress / Mr Doobee /
(DOOBEE tightens his mouth.)
DOOBEE: Everybody tells me what to do /
ARCHITECT: Show me what my mother loves / show me /
(He is recalcitrant.)
SHOW ME /
(ARCHITECT is pitiful.)
SHOW /
(DOOBEE affects reluctance.)
DOOBEE: I do not like it here /
ARCHITECT: No /
DOOBEE: It is a vile and sordid place /
ARCHITECT: Is it? /
DOOBEE: You know it is /
(ARCHITECT is coy.)
If I do what you ask / you must not hinder our departure / you must let us go /
(ARCHITECT is taut, unyielding.)
Promise /
ARCHITECT: NO SHOES OR SOCKS / DOOBEE /
DOOBEE: Promise /
(She frowns in her chagrin.)
Promise /
ARCHITECT: (Crossly.) YOU PROMISE /
DOOBEE: I do /
(He tugs at his shoe laces.)
Now you /
(The shoes clatter. He strips away his socks and tosses
them down.)
NOW YOU /
ARCHITECT: (Archly.) Did you know / if when you make a promise / at the same time / you curl up your toes / the promise is not binding? /
DOOBEE: Nothing below your neck works / Miss Architect / does it? / so /
ARCHITECT: (Shrill with frustration.) SHOW / SHOW /
(He is adamant.)
I promise /
(She is innocent as a child.)
Promise /
(DOOBEE, with the slightest anxiety, walks from
behind the mobile bed and entering the line of her
sight, presents himself to ARCHITECT. She studies
him with a sense of wonder. The wonder endures. She
is agonized by longing. At last she puts an end to her
own suffering by flight. The electric motor whines
as the bed sweeps out of the room. DOOBEE, also in
a condition of disbelief, awakes to his own precarious
state.)
DOOBEE: My clothes / my clothes /
(He goes to run after the bed, sees his socks and shoes,
grabs them up, and follows ARCHITECT. A sound of
wailing from an upstairs room insinuates itself, and
its pity draws OSTEND into the room, as if she
recognized its tone.)
50
CHILDLIKE appears discreetly, and observes the concentration of OSTEND.
CHILDLIKE: It’s Marjorie /
(OSTEND turns to observe CHILDLIKE.)
Caroline is dying / but it’s Marjorie making the noise /
(OSTEND looks blankly at CHILDLIKE.)
Marjorie and Caroline are friends /
(OSTEND’s indifference encourages CHILDLIKE.)
Says Marjorie / without Caroline life’s meaningless /
(It delays its account, gazing at OSTEND.)
Marjorie says she wishes she’d gone first /
(Pause.)
And so on /
(Pause.)
Caroline and Marjorie have animals /
(Pause.)
Caroline has a spaniel /
(Pause.)
Marjorie has a bird /
(Pause.)
What about my bird / says Marjorie / when I’m gone? /
(Pause.)
Etcetera /
(Pause. CHILDLIKE emits a strange laugh. Its head
hangs. It shakes it. DOOBEE enters, a bag in each
hand. He looks at CHILDLIKE, who leaves. DOOBEE
goes to carry the bags ot the car, and stops.)
DOOBEE: Actually / I don’t want to /
(He lingers, then turns a glance to OSTEND. OSTEND
merely regards him. DOOBEE is intimidated, turns
and walks a few more steps. He stops. He puts down
the bags, decisively.)
I don’t want to go /
(OSTEND looks at the back of DOOBEE’s head.)
OSTEND: It was you who /
DOOBEE: Yes /
51
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: No /
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: No /
OSTEND: Darling /
(Now DOOBEE just shakes his head, compulsively.
They are still for a long time.)
Doobee / I don’t drive / as you well know /
So if you don’t / how can I go? /
(DOOBEE denies her a reply. OSTEND walks a few
paces, stops, and opens her mouth to speak. She is
interrupted on her first syllable.)
DOOBEE: No /
(OSTEND closes her lips.)
I’m saying no / I’m saying no and only no / in saying no I’m saying everything that could be said / but which / in actual fact / need not be said / since the outcome is determined / and is not susceptible to modification/ interrogation / ratification / or any other thing /
(He tilts up his chin.)
So / no /
(OSTEND seems to contemplate arguing, but instead
turns on her heel. She goes to march from the room
but is stopped by the sound of DOOBEE’s sudden and
mournful weeping, a tone counter-pointed by the
wails which travel down from above. She returns a
few paces. She regards him, not without sympathy.)
OSTEND: Being mine / and being hers / is it very different / Doobee? /
(DOOBEE, in conformity with his decision, shakes
his head fiercely. Again OSTEND goes to leave.)
DOOBEE: (From the depths of his soul.) I KNOW / I KNOW / I KNOW MY INSIGNIFICANCE /
(OSTEND is moved by DOOBEE’s sacrifice.)
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: No /
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: No /
OS
TEND: (An adieu.) Darling /
(OSTEND looks at DOOBEE with an expression almost
maternal in the depths of its love. DOOBEE squirms,
and in his discomfort plucks up the bags without
knowing what to do with them. He dithers, half-
extending one to OSTEND, and when she declines to
relieve him, going as if to place it in the car. At the
door he stops, seems to ponder the purpose of his
decision, and returns. He places the bag at OSTEND’s
feet. He stares for a moment at the floor, and then
decisively carries his own upstairs.)
52
OSTEND gazes at the bag, her fingers working in her agony. Again, CHILDLIKE’s presence is intuited by her. She turns her head.
CHILDLIKE: Driving / anyone can do it /
OSTEND: Including you? /
(CHILDLIKE lifts its shoulders in a self-deprecating
gesture.)
CHILDLIKE: It’s a big car /
OSTEND: It’s a big car / and you’re a dwarf /
CHILDLIKE: Norman tested racing cars /
OSTEND: Norman? /
CHILDLIKE: In his youth /
OSTEND: Ask Norman if he would be so kind as to /
CHILDLIKE: Norman’s bed-ridden /
(OSTEND looks cruelly at CHILDLIKE, who is not
rebuked.)
Some would say / not me / it’s a pity you don’t drive the brown car yourself /
(It returns her critical stare.)
The brown car with the off-white upholstery /
(It is coy.)
Not me / not me / however / if I know one thing about cars / I know this /
(It seems to experience a spasm.)
THE FRONT SEATS AREN’T THE BACK /
(It laughs, as if something were liberated in it.)
The door did not fall open / the handle was depressed /
(It gazes at OSTEND. She is unperturbed.)
OSTEND: That’s obvious /
CHILDLIKE: Yes / so I have always argued / the handle was depressed / and from the inside /
OSTEND: By me /
CHILDLIKE: BY YOU / BY YOU / YES /
(CHILDLIKE seems gratified. OSTEND, by contrast,
is blasé. CHILDLIKE stares at the floor, its three fingers
compressed in its palm and frowning. OSTEND
observes its efforts.)
And yet / and yet /
(It raises its eyes to OSTEND.)
As so often with these things / what once seemed crucially significant / once it is established / fails to bring us one step nearer the explanation we so desperately seek /
OSTEND: Explanation for what? /
Barker, Plays Eight Page 27