Widow's Secrets

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “I don’t need a minute. I’m fine.” Liana picked up her pace, anxious for some reason to show him that she was tough. Tough enough to not let a little thing like seeing the place where her husband’s dead body had rested bother her.

  Kent followed right behind, but she could practically feel the doubt and regret emanating from him.

  She tried to ignore it. “So where was he?” No, he had a name. She cleared her throat. “I mean Billy. Where was Billy?”

  He gestured to the right. “Here.” When she pivoted on her heel, he held out a hand. “Easy, now. The ground is pretty uneven right here.”

  She took his hand, linking her fingers with his...and learned that it was needed. Oh, not for her footing. No, it was for the moment Kent knelt down at the edge and peered into the six-foot dip. “This is where Billy’s body had been left, Liana. We found him here.”

  There was no choice. She had to do it. Kneeling next to him, she pressed a palm on the rock, felt its chalky texture graze her skin. Focused on what she could see instead of everything she imagined.

  Peering closely, she realized nothing was there except for a scrape on one of the sides.

  She pointed to it. “Is that mark from him?”

  “Yeah. That’s where the metal cuffs that were on his wrists scraped the rocks.”

  Billy had been cuffed. Even if he’d been alive when his body had been dumped, there would have been no way for him to have been able to escape. It would be near impossible without two free hands.

  Billy hadn’t ever been great. Eventually, he hadn’t even been a good person. He’d regretted their marriage as much as she had and had taken out his frustrations with life on her.

  He’d hurt her badly, both emotionally and physically. For the first couple of nights when he hadn’t come home, she’d actually been glad. His absence had meant that she could breathe more easily.

  But looking down at that fissure, seeing that bold scrape on the rock, Liana realized that Kent had been exactly right.

  What had happened to Billy hadn’t just been a sad event; it had been really bad. No one, not even Billy Mann, deserved to die the way he had.

  Chapter Seven

  “What do we do now?” Liana asked as they headed back to Kent’s car.

  Noticing that her voice seemed a little detached, Kent slowed his pace and studied her more closely. From the time he’d picked Liana up at her house to this moment, he’d been so impressed with her. Though there were so many roadblocks to their even having a friendship, she’d seemed to dodge them all with ease.

  Instead of being sullen and wary, she’d asked him questions and been surprisingly forthcoming about her life. He’d even found himself thinking that she was so easy to hike with that maybe they could go to one of the state parks in northern Kentucky sometime in the future.

  But then he’d reminded himself that this day hadn’t been just part of a job for Liana. It was filling in gaps about her husband’s death—perhaps gaps that she would have preferred to never know about.

  Kent knew that confronting death was hard even in the best of circumstances—if those ever existed. However, coming face-to-face with a loved one’s murder? Well, that was another thing entirely...and even a decade’s time couldn’t camouflage the stark reality of that.

  Glancing at her again, Kent noticed that while Liana appeared solemn, she didn’t seem—at least not to him—to be on the verge of breaking down. He promised himself that he’d tread lightly to keep it that way.

  “I might need your help again, especially if I deduce that there’s a reason to take another look around your house and property.”

  “And until then?”

  He tried to give her a reassuring look. “Until then, we don’t do anything,” he said at last. “It’s all up to me.”

  But instead of looking relieved, Liana looked more interested. “Can you share what your next steps are?”

  “Sure. Next, I’ll need to go over all the dead ends and try to find something that everyone else overlooked.”

  She frowned. “Will that even be possible?”

  “I don’t know.” He curved his hand around her elbow to help her around a gnarled tree root. “I mean, it’s not like we didn’t have good, dedicated officers on the case before.” At her doubtful look, he tempered his words. “Hey, I know you feel differently.”

  “The officers questioned me like I had something to do with Billy’s disappearance, Kent. It was awful.”

  “I’m sure it was.” Slowly, he added, “I’m sorry to say that a lot of times the spouse does have something to do with a suspicious event like that.”

  “I didn’t cuff Billy, hang him, drag him up here and leave him to...to...stay for a decade.” Pure pain laced every word.

  He winced, hating that he was the one responsible for this new wave of pain she was experiencing. “I realize that, Liana. Of course you didn’t do any of that.” When she seemed to have collected herself again, he added, “Look. Cops aren’t mind readers. All we can do is go on facts and experience and evidence. We might make mistakes but it’s never intentional. At least, not in my experience.”

  “I know.” She frowned. “Sorry. I wasn’t talking about you.”

  No, just everyone he worked with. Kent understood her feelings, though. Just as much as he was aware that he’d made a mistake so big that a criminal got off. That was on him, and it would always be on his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “There’s nothing you need to say.” She exhaled. “I’m okay.”

  His footsteps slowed as he continued trying to get a read on her feelings. “Are you sure about that?”

  Just as she was nodding, her eyes lit up. “Oh, look. Chipmunks!”

  Struck by her sudden sweet tone, he stopped to look where she was pointing. Three little chipmunks, seemingly unaware of them standing there, were playing tag, their tiny white stripes making them look as adorable as Chip and Dale in a cartoon. He chuckled. “I’m guessing you’re a fan of the little guys?”

  “I am. Even though I know I shouldn’t be, because they love to eat everything in my garden and make a big mess. But how can they not make you smile?”

  “They are really cute.” When one darted off, the two others chattered indignantly.

  She laughed. “I could watch them for hours,” she murmured before glancing his way with a guilty look. “Sorry. I bet you’ve got a dozen things to do.” She stepped forward.

  But there was no way he was going to make her leave just yet. Not when some color was returning to her cheeks and she was trying so hard to get control of herself. “No, Liana. It’s okay. We can wait a minute or two. I’ve got time.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.” Honestly, some of the more hardened guys in the precinct would probably tell him to keep talking to Liana, to encourage her to let her guard down.

  Maybe that was what he should do, but the two of them had already moved beyond that. He didn’t want to be that jerk cop. Not with her, anyway.

  When one of the chipmunks picked up a mulberry and stuffed it in its cheeks before darting off, Liana laughed out loud. “What a rascal!”

  After they ran off a few seconds later, he walked by her side. “I’m glad we saw those little guys. Made my day.”

  “Mine, too.” Sounding more tentative, she added, “You know, after everything I went through with Billy, I promised myself that I’d try to find joy as much as I could. It’s not always possible, but I’ve found if I look hard enough, God gives us things to find every day.”

  “I don’t do enough of that. But today’s different, huh?”

  “I hope so.”

  Feeling like she’d given him an opening, he said, “You don’t have to answer this, but when you refer to what you went through with Billy, are you only talking about when he went mi
ssing?”

  She chuckled again, but it sounded the opposite of when she saw the chipmunks. This time the tone was filled with bitterness. “Oh no.” She paused. “Most of the time nowadays, I can’t even understand why I married him. But I was a different person back then.”

  “How so?”

  “Insecure. Alone. Mason, my older brother, and my parents were fine but distant.” She swallowed. “I tried to be more independent, but that wasn’t in my nature. I was a clingy child, I guess.” Sounding wistful, she added, “I was constantly looking for someone to not mind me being near them all the time.”

  He hated that she thought her teenaged self should have been different. “Anyone would have been like that.”

  “Maybe.” She shrugged. “I’m not making my parents sound too good, but they were. I mean, they were fine. There just was never a lot of money in the house, so bills were a constant worry. Then there was the fact that I was so different from my older brother.”

  “How so?”

  “Mason was easygoing, independent, always happy—or at least happy enough.” Liana darted a look his way. “I don’t know what you did in high school, but Mason was a jock. He lettered in both football and basketball. Everyone loved him. They still do.”

  “What about you?”

  “Me? Oh, I was just a year below him in school and had to deal with the ignominy of being the complete opposite of him.”

  “What? You didn’t play quarterback?” he teased.

  “Big surprise... I liked art.”

  “Obviously.” He smiled. “You’re really talented.”

  “I didn’t know if I was or not. The art I liked wasn’t really respected by my art teacher. She wanted my paintings to be on the traditional side. She favored details and precision. Her favorite students in the class created works that looked like photographs.”

  “While yours were different?”

  Tucking her chin, she smiled. “Let’s just say that she called one of my paintings a kindergartener’s nightmare.”

  “Whoa! That wasn’t very nice.”

  She shrugged it off. “My point is that I was kind of awkward in a number of ways, my brother was a star and my parents spent a lot of time stressed about money and the fact that they had next to no extra time. Ever. I tried to keep out of everyone’s way.”

  “How did you meet Billy?”

  “He was a year older than Mason and on his football team. He wasn’t the star my brother was, but he was part of the same crowd.” She shrugged. “After we graduated and it was obvious he was never going to go to college or even move to the city, he asked me out. Mason wasn’t real thrilled about it, but by then he was dating Jeanie and working as a mechanic.”

  They had almost reached his car. “So you two started dating.”

  She nodded. “I was glad to finally be doing something right. For once I wasn’t just the awkward girl trying to fit in. I was dating someone who’d been in the same crowd as my all-star brother. My parents were pleased about that. And, well, Billy seemed to really like me. He gave me a lot of attention, which I hadn’t really ever had. And then we got married and the real world hit.”

  “Bills and chores?” Kent asked lightly.

  “Yep. I found out pretty soon that Billy was good at having fun with all the guys but not so good at holding down a job, paying bills or washing dishes.”

  “I bet that was hard.”

  “It was.” She paused while they passed another couple, then added, “It wasn’t all his fault, though. Like I said, I’d been more interested in painting or reading or just being in my own world. I wasn’t all that good at cooking and I never made time to clean.”

  “Why? Because you were waitressing?”

  “Oh no. I didn’t start working at the diner until years after he went missing. Instead, to pay the bills, I did a lot of little jobs. I helped an older lady nearby with her house. Did some filing for a local business. A whole lot of things that took up a lot of time but didn’t pay much. You see, Billy didn’t want me working on the weekends or being around people he didn’t know.” When they stopped beside his car, Liana shrugged again. “Well, I suppose you can guess what happened after that.”

  The new, hesitant tone in her voice made his stomach clench, but he took care to stay impassive. As much as he wanted to hear about her past, he realized that Liana needed to talk about it, too. “I’d rather you tell me.”

  “I got tired and started complaining and Billy didn’t care for that much.”

  “That’s when he started hurting you.”

  “The first time he hit me, we were both so shocked, we just stared at each other. He apologized about a dozen times.”

  “But then?”

  “But then I guess it didn’t bother him so much.” She wrapped her arms around her waist, like she was attempting to protect herself from the memories.

  Kent got the feeling that she didn’t want to finish her story in the car. He leaned against the closed passenger door, wishing he could enfold her in his arms. But of course, he couldn’t. He wasn’t only afraid of spooking her; it was inappropriate, as well.

  So he had to settle for words. “I’m so sorry, Liana.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’m not judging...but was there no one you could reach out to to help you?”

  “No. By the time I thought about getting help, Billy had started taking drugs and getting really mean. He was messing with his dealers, too. I mean, I was pretty sure he owed them a lot of money. There was no way I was going to get either my father or my brother involved.”

  “I’m sorry you were all alone. I hate that for you.” Especially since he had a pretty good idea that both her father and brother would’ve dropped everything to help Liana.

  She looked at him sadly. “Oh, Kent. There was no way I was going to drag them into my life...or make them pay the price for my mistakes.” Before he could comment on that, she said, “Then one day Billy was just gone.”

  “Gone,” he repeated.

  “I figured he just got tired of coming home to me and took off with them.” Looking at him, Liana added, “Please don’t make me regret telling you all this.”

  “I asked you those questions because I wanted to get to know you, Liana. It wasn’t a trick to get more information.”

  The relieved look she shot him was everything. Sweet and grateful and beautiful.

  He smiled back as he held the passenger-side door open for her. Kept that same expression as he walked around and got in on his side.

  But once in the car, he was coming to terms with everything she’d said. Though he’d been honest when he’d stated that he had wanted to know her, he now knew one thing for certain—that Liana had carefully left out some details about what had happened between her and Billy. There was more to her story; he was sure of it.

  Now all he had to do was figure out why she was still keeping secrets. Was she trying to protect herself, just like she’d always had to do?

  Or was she now protecting someone else? Her parents? Her brother? A friend?

  All Kent knew was that someone had gotten mad enough at Billy Mann to put a stop to whatever he was doing, and that someone was close enough to him to kill the man and then dump him somewhere he would stay carefully hidden for years.

  Someone in Billy’s circle knew how to do that. And even more important, they’d done it knowing that no one else in that circle would ever say a word about it.

  Perhaps not even Liana.

  Chapter Eight

  Every time Liana thought that she had finally gotten Jeanie to start listening to her, she was proved wrong. It seemed today was no exception.

  Jeanie also had a serious problem with the word no.

  Liana was getting a really good reminder of her sister-in-law’s habit of ignoring no during the last ten minutes of their phone c
onversation. Worse, Jeanie was pulling out all the stops. She was in full southern Kentucky mode—which meant that Jeanie was once again being as sweet as sugar while completely ignoring everything Liana was saying.

  During the twelve years Jeanie had been married to her brother, Liana had had lots of practice with her sister-in-law’s steamrolling ways. Most of the time she was amused. After all, it took a pretty strong woman to get the best of her headstrong brother.

  However, today wasn’t one of those days. She was just getting aggravated. She was going to hold firm, though. Sooner or later Jeanie was going to realize that she couldn’t bulldoze Liana.

  “Jeanie, I don’t care what you say. I’m simply not going to meet your friend.”

  But just like the morning sun, she kept powering through. “Come on, Li. Don’t say no. Wes is the nicest fella. He really is.”

  “No.”

  “Listen, I showed him your picture.”

  “You did what?”

  “Honey, guess what he said? Wes said that he thought you were real pretty.” Her voice brightened. “In fact, he called you gorgeous. You’re gorgeous, Liana. What I’m trying to tell you is that he wants to meet you real bad. Why, he might even be smitten. It’s as sweet as all get-out.”

  This was over-the-top, even for Jeanie. Then she put two and two together. “Wait. What picture are you even talking about?”

  “Well...”

  Liana groaned. “Please don’t tell me you showed him the photo of me that you stuffed in the back of your wallet.”

  “Of course I did. That’s where all of my pictures are.”

  “That picture is from two years ago.”

  “What’s wrong with that? You looked real pretty.”

  “No, I look pretty different.” Two years ago her paintings had started really selling well at Gallery One and she’d had more money in the bank than she’d ever had in her life.

  She’d also been in a funk. Billy had still been missing, some people were whispering that he’d probably gone to another state and set up a new life, and a customer at the diner had called her ma’am. All that had forced her to take a long, hard look in the mirror. She hadn’t liked what she’d seen.