Forbidden Throne: An LGBTQ+ Fantasy Novella

by Jennifer Laslie

  “I make you nervous?” Helena asked. She chanced a step closer, and I realized she was a smidge taller than me, but I didn’t mind.

  Would she care if her partner was shorter than her? Most females took offense to shorter men, literally finding them beneath them. I snorted at the thought.

  “I guess that answered my question. You’re not anxious around me. You only find me comical.”

  “No, no!” I grabbed her hand before she could turn and flee. “I was only thinking of something funny. It was in no way directed at you.”

  She glanced at our joined hands. “There’s something about you, Prince Stefan.”

  “Something that makes your skin tingle and warm when I step closer?” I asked, tugging her back in place.

  “Yes,” she said breathlessly. “Something like that. Have you bewitched me?”

  “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

  She stared into my eyes, searching, pleading for something, but I was so inexperienced when it came to situations like this.

  I opened my mouth to question her, but then her lips crashed into mine.

  Sweet, delicious heat rolled through me. I closed my eyes and kissed her back right there in the middle of the throne room. Anyone walking by could have looked through the doorway and found us embracing, but I didn’t care.

  An explosion of sensations coursed through me. That tether I had felt yesterday pulled tighter until I thought I would surely be in pain, but the only thing I felt was acceptance, longing, and a wholeness that had everything to do with the girl in my arms.

  This girl would be trouble, but in this moment, I couldn’t care less.

  Chapter 5

  My lips still throbbed from the kiss with Helena as I sat in the dining hall. She sat across the table and five people down, ensuring I’d not get the quality time my mother said we shouldn’t have. If only she knew what we’d done on the dais.

  Mother had claimed her seat at the head of the table with me to her right. My six sisters dotted the seats on either side, mixed between the other guests. Across from me sat Narina, the new bane of my existence.

  “Did you know a two-carat sapphire from our mines can go for three thousand shekels?” Narina fidgeted with one of the forks in her place setting while she chatted about inconsequential things.

  Brigid sat on Narina’s left with a look that could kill. My oldest sister was known for her patience, but apparently not where this princess was concerned.

  I glanced at my mother to see how she was affected. She looked longingly at the kitchen doors as if willing them to open. Maybe now she’d realize why Narina thought me rude during our horseback ride.

  The skin along my arms prickled. When I looked down the line of the table, blue eyes bore into mine. Helena did funny things to my stomach. She also made me want to rip this wig off and tell her who I really was.

  Would she no longer be interested if she knew I was a woman? It didn’t matter. I could never be with her, and if I did, I ran the risk of losing my kingdom. No, I could only ever be Stefan Farraday, King of Sulenia.

  Doors flew open at the other end of the room and plate after plate was laid out on the table. My mother had spared no expense when it came to impressing our guests.

  “How long were the hunters out in the woods to get this many quail?” I asked my mother.

  She smirked and cut into her food. “Not as long as you might think. They’re quite skilled.” She took a bite and closed her eyes on a moan.

  With the approval of the Queen, a cacophony of utensils against plates resounded throughout the room.

  “This tastes amazing,” Narina said as she chewed. “Do you know we make quail just like this? It might even be better.”

  “I’ve never tasted anything as delicious as this,” I said. Our cooks were always coming up with new recipes and outdoing themselves.

  Narina took a sip of water. “I bet you’d like our food. You’ll have to come visit sometime.” She set her glass down and fluttered her eyelashes at me.

  What little I had eaten settled heavily on my stomach.

  Narina’s mother pointed a finger at her from across the table. “Make sure you chew and swallow before you talk.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  I tore a chunk off my roll and threw it in my mouth. Eating with manners had been taught out of me considering I wasn’t supposed to be a girl. Still, anxiety swirled in my gut and Narina’s incessant talking gave me a headache.

  “Mother, I’m not feeling quite well.” I placed my napkin beside my plate. “I think I’m going to retire for the night.”

  My mother placed her hand against my forehead as if I were a five-year-old. “You do look a little pinched. I’ll have a plate brought up just in case you get hungry.”

  Nodding, I rose from the table and headed upstairs. This whole week was going to make me nauseous. With six people eyeing me like the roasted quail on their plate, I’d be ready to scream by the time the crown was placed on my head.

  All except for one.

  Helena’s face came to mind, all her soft curves, yet sharp angles. I still hadn’t figured out what kept coming over me when she was near. She claimed there was no magic involved, yet I had to wonder.

  I stared down the hall without really seeing it as I daydreamed about her when suddenly I ran into Josua. “Excuse me. I didn’t see you.”

  “Something on your mind?” Josua asked.

  I grinned from ear to ear. “More like someone.”

  “I knew it!” Josua pushed me against the cold, stone wall and started kissing along my jawline and down my neck.

  “What are you doing?” I whispered.

  “Shh!” His fingers trailed over my arm and down to my waist. “You’re so well built. It’s like we’re perfect for each other,” he said against my collar bone.

  Too shocked to do anything, I just stood there. I’d never been kissed by a man, yet here I was getting them peppered all over my skin.

  When his hand moved lower, I panicked. “Wait!”

  “It’s okay,” he said, cupping my crotch and giving it a squeeze. “Just let it happen. What the—”

  I pushed his hand away and slid out from between him and the wall.

  “Stefan?” he asked. “What happened to your…” he pointed a finger and drew a circle toward my nether region.”

  Holding my hands up in defense, I backed away a few steps. “I can explain.”

  Only, I really couldn’t. No one could know outside of my family and staff. My mother would have my hide. I put a few more feet of distance between us and grabbed the doorknob to my bedroom.

  “You’d better start talking.” Josua stalked toward me, both concerned and angry if that were possible.

  “Josua, I don’t, I can’t…” I twisted the knob and tried to get into my room quick enough to shut the door, but I wasn’t fast enough.

  He shoved his booted foot into the entrance and pushed his way in. “What in the world?” He stared around my bedroom, noting the very feminine decorations, bed sheets, and makeup table.

  “Are you even Stefan?” he asked, pushing further into my room, and shutting the door behind him. “You at least owe me something considering I was just kissing you.”

  “You started that.” My voice rose higher, giving away a piece of my secret. “I didn’t ask you to.”

  “But you said you’d been thinking of me.” He planted his hands on his lips and glared. “You lead me on.”

  I shook my head. “I said I was thinking about someone. I didn’t say it was you.”

  “Who are you?” Josua narrowed his eyes.

  “I can’t tell you that.” I continued to walk backward until I fell into my overstuffed chair. “Please don’t ask that of me.”

  His eyes softened. “Listen. I know what it’s like to have to hide who you are. You can tell me. I won’t say a word to anyone else.”

  “It’s not that simple.” Shoving my face into my hands, I choked on a sob.
r />   Josua was by my side a moment later, kneeling in front of me, and pulling me into his arms. “Shh, just let it all out.”

  I hiccupped and pulled back. “A second ago you were berating me and now you’re comforting me?”

  He shrugged. “What can I say? I’m complicated like that.”

  When I wiped at my eyes, my knuckles brushed a little too hard on the way back and moved my wig. I gasped and tried to right my mistake, but it was too late, Josua had seen the whole thing.

  “Take it off. You don’t have to hide it from me.”

  With shaky fingers, I slid the wig off my head. Beneath it was my braids wrapped around the crown of my head covered in sweat from having worn the hairpiece for too long.

  “Do you want to be a boy?” he asked.

  I sniffed and shook my head.

  “Then why?”

  “Just two words: my mother.” I threw the wig to the ground and then smoothed down the wild hairs sticking up from my real hair.

  “I still don’t understand why.”

  “I’m the youngest of seven girls. My father is gone, dead.” I trained my eyes on the ground. Seeing him judge me would only bring on a fresh new wave of tears. “My mother is without a son, someone to carry on the line, someone to step up and be the next King of Sulenia.”

  He scoffed. “Can none of you be Queen?”

  “Our laws are set. Only a male can rule.” I folded my hands in my lap and finally managed to look into his eyes. “I’m my kingdom’s last hope.”

  “Laws can be changed.” He rose and offered me a hand.

  I let him help me up from my chair. “Not our laws. Even if I were to wed, I’d be queen of another country, not my own. We have distant relatives who are chomping at the bit to take over. If they knew — if word ever got out — we’d lose everything.”

  “Your secret is safe with me.”

  “Truly?” I asked.

  He nodded and mimicked sealing his lips.

  I knew nothing about Josua except for the fact that he was gay. Having him know my secret was a risk, a huge one. If I found out I couldn’t trust him, it’d be too late.

  If he breathed a word of this to anyone, I ran the risk of not only losing my crown, but I also feared the kingdom would call for my execution for treason.

  Chapter 6

  “You look like shit.” Serenity perched on the edge of my bed, gawking at me rudely.

  “Go away.” I rolled away from her and covered my head with a pillow. “I slept like shit, too,” I mumbled.

  “Mother said you hadn’t felt well. Are you coming down with a Summer cold?” Serenity did the same as Mother did last night and placed a hand on my forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”

  “I’m fine.” I threw the pillow off and sat up. “I excused myself last night because I couldn’t stand another moment of Narina’s bickering about how things in her country were bigger, better, more expensive, and tasted like they were made in heaven specifically for God.”

  “Oh dear.” Serenity stood up and did her best not to laugh. “Today, Mom has requested that you entertain all of your visiting princesses. She’s thrown together a large breakfast.”

  “No.” I fell back and covered my head with the pillow again.

  “This isn’t up for negotiation.” Serenity yanked the pillow off my head and tossed it to the floor. “Get up. You have women waiting to swoon over you.”

  I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “There’s Josua, too.”

  “He’s still kind of like a princess.” Serenity turned. “Rosalyn, why is your wig on the floor?”

  “I didn’t feel like fussing with it,” I lied.

  She hurried over and plucked it from the floor. Dusting off the top, she began combing out the hair with her fingers. “You have to take better care of your wig. It’s your lifeline.”

  “I know, I know.” I stood up and held my arms out to either side. “Just get this over with.”

  * * *

  The room fell silent as I entered. Six pairs of eyes turned my way, but I only met one of them: Helena. Her presence tugged me toward the table.

  She smiled and winked, nodding to the empty chair next to her.

  There were a couple of other empty chairs, one being next to Evany, the shy one. She looked expectantly at the seat cushion but made no other indication that she wanted me to sit next to her.

  With my mother nowhere in sight, I skirted around the table and sank into the chair next to Helena.

  “Good morning, my Prince,” she cooed.

  The title was like a barb to the chest. I wasn’t a prince, but she didn’t know that. I recovered quickly and leaned in so only she could hear. “Good morning, my siren.”

  “So now I’m a dragon and a siren?” Helena asked.

  Narina growled. “You can’t hog him all morning.” She grabbed her fork and stabbed it into the table.

  Helena grabbed my hand beneath the table in a vise-like grip and her pupils narrowed into slits. Her dragon was getting possessive, which was concerning.

  If I didn’t dissolve the situation, things could escalate. But then again, if Helena shifted into her dragon and ate Narina, the problem would be solved.

  “No one is hogging anyone. I will make sure to sit with each and every one of you.” I winced as Helena’s grip tightened. “Easy,” I said softly.

  Helena took a deep breath, released my hand reluctantly, and slowly her eyes returned to normal. “Sorry about that, Stefan.”

  Another twist of the barb, but I remained cool. “Not a problem. I know you like me. And, well, I feel like I’m liking you a little too much, but…”

  “I don’t think you understand,” Helena whispered. “This is more than a matter of liking someone.”

  “No, I don’t understand.” I laughed without humor. “I’ve never had to deal with emotions like this.”

  “It’s not your fault, but maybe it is.” Helena looked to her lap. “It’s just—”

  The smell of bacon hit me before the staff entered the small tearoom.

  Whatever Helena was going to say was cut off by a parade of platters. Each one was deposited on the table and the shiny, silver lids lifted. Steam rose from each one.

  I snickered as I saw Josua’s hand creep across the table and snatch a piece of bacon. He wasn’t half bad. Last night had been stressful, but he’d reassured me that I had a friend in him. He’d make sure my secret stayed just that, a secret.

  My mouth watered as the aroma of breakfast hit me. My chest may have been constricted, turning my mountains into mole hills, but there was nothing restricting my stomach.

  “We’re not on ceremony here.” I gestured toward the platters. “Go ahead and dig in.”

  Chaos erupted as everyone scrambled for their favorite things.

  I managed to grab a few pancakes, two strips of bacon, eggs, salted ham, and one of the thick slabs of french toast.

  Swallowing my first bite of pancakes, I contemplated how to restart our conversation. Helena had seemed upset before the food was brought in. I didn’t want to continue down that road. Instead, I asked, “Did you sleep well last night?”

  “Yes and no.” Helena used her fork and knife to cut her pancakes into little squares and then smothered them in syrup. “It’s always strange sleeping in a different bed than your own.”

  My thoughts wandered at that statement, picturing myself laying in Helena’s bed, her legs wrapped around me possessively. I nearly choked on a piece of bacon.

  “Are you okay?” Helena patted my back. “Take a drink of coffee. That’ll help.”

  “Good idea,” I wheezed. Taking a large sip of black coffee, I dislodged the piece of bacon stuck in the back of my throat. “Much better.”

  “I’m glad. Try not breathe and swallow food at the same time,” Helena said.

  “I wasn’t trying to. If you hadn’t—”

  A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. “Prince Stefan?” Amelda asked.

  “What
can I do for you?”

  Amelda twisted her hands in front of her. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but I was wondering if I could have my turn. My dad wants me to work on my studies this morning and I don’t have much time here.”

  Glancing at Helena, I noticed her pupils had changed again. “I’ll be right back, my siren.”

  But she really wasn’t mine. That realization twisted my gut, which only became more painful as I stood from my seat, grabbed my plates, and moved further away to sit with Amelda.

  Amelda followed and reclaimed her seat. “Thank you. I didn’t want to be rude, but I still wanted a chance to get to know you.”

  “I know how important studies can be.” My eggs had grown cold by now, so I pushed those aside. “You live near the Shadow Mountains, correct?”

  “I do.” Amelda turned in her seat. “We’re known as the volcano kingdom. We use its hardened earth to make many different things, one of them being dark makeup.”

  “We’ve received several shipments over the years, especially with how many sisters I have.” I chuckled. “They do love their makeup and lining their eyes.”

  “Have you ever used it?” Amelda asked.

  This whole room was going to be my undoing. If I didn’t die from choking on food, I was going to perish from a heart attack. All I could think of was how I shouldn’t wear makeup, but then I calmed my nerves. There were many men who wore makeup as well, I just couldn’t be one of them. When I lined my eyes, it gave away too much about my true gender.

  “I’ve tried it a couple times, but it’s not for me.” I finished off the rest of my bacon before anyone could have it kill me.

  Amelda sipped her orange juice and regarded me. “I think you would look gorgeous with your eyes lined. Maybe I could come up to your room and we could do a little makeup session.”

  “I, well…would that even be appropriate?” Amelda could never see my room. It was my one sanctuary where I could be myself.

  “Probably not.” Her shoulders sagged. “Maybe we could settle into the library or something and do it there?”