Finding Me: Dominant Devils Book Three

by H. M. Stewart

  “You can tell me anything, babe,” Tank said sending yet another dagger through my heart as he used the endearment I so badly wanted to mean something.

  I took a few breaths before pushing the words out of my mouth while Tank continued to stare at me. With a big exhale, I stood and made my way over to the picnic table to sit across from him. Of course, Diesel followed me, curling up at my feet. I reached to pat him on the head when I started to talk, “I just wanted to thank you for letting me lean on you last night. I know you're not used to having a distraught woman in your arms and were completely out of your element, but I need you to know I appreciate that you took the time to make sure I was okay. If you hadn’t held me and told me I was safe, I’m sure I would still be curled up in a ball right now. That with Carrin’s little bit of tough love gave me the strength to get up this morning and put the events of last night behind me.”

  “You’re right, babe. I don’t have much experience with calming a female down. When I looked at you,” Tank stopped as if he was trying to bury the visions of me last night before continuing, “it just came naturally. I didn’t have time to think. I just needed my bright, bubbly Breezy to come back to me. I’d do it again in a heartbeat, and you have nothing to thank me for, babe. I will always look out for you. You need me, no matter what, I will be there. The same goes for the rest of us. Like it or not, babe, you’re a part of this family. We will always be here for you.”

  Although I wanted to argue about being a part of the family, I believed him when he said he would always look out for me. I felt like a selfish brat because I wanted him to look out for me as his girlfriend not just as another girl in his family. I know it was never going to happen, though. I’d never be what he wanted, and it hurt like crazy. Instead of opening my mouth to say just that I buried my thoughts yet again and thanked him again. Tank didn’t say anything else about the matter. He just stood and walked around the table stopping to place a quick kiss on the top of my head and promising the help of one of the prospect to get my things to my room before he walked into the house leaving me on the deck by myself. I sat there willing myself to pull my emotions together. Twenty minutes later I had a new outlook and a plan in place. I would keep to the background and stay out of everyone’s way, helping around the house as much as I would. I hoped that everyone truly meant that I was part of the family because I’ve decided not to fight it and work to find my place in the crazy family that has willingly accepted me. I would focus all my attention towards mingling with the family and avoid anything that would require me to be alone with Tank. I needed to accept the fact we would never be. If I couldn’t have him as my other half, then I would least have him as a friend. Part of me wanted to just pick up and move on to the next town that I felt a pull too, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave everyone that I’ve gotten to know and care for. They have accepted me as part of their thrown-together family, and I planned on staying until they threw me out of it. I would just need to avoid being alone with Tank and I would be fine.

  Chapter 6

  Tank

  I left Bree sitting on the deck with the horse dog to meet up with my brothers over at the clubhouse to brainstorm. After listening to Throttle retell the events leading up to Bree’s attack as well as what happened last night to the brothers from our sister chapters, visions of Bree’s abused body from the attack flashed through my head and I could feel the rage seeping back in. I needed to find those fuckers that attacked her just to make sure that asshole Zeke paid for touching my brown-haired goddess. It’s going to be my pleasure making that fucker suffer just like he intended to make Bree suffer.

  After a late night at the clubhouse with the rest of the guys, we divided into groups of five or six mixing the brothers from all chapters up making sure each group had a decent mixture of brains, muscle and tracking abilities. Over the next four days, we searched high and low for the nasty ass fuckers who dared touch Bree and fuck with my club. We found the four assholes about an hour north of us. They were held up in some run-down hotel of Interstate 95. It didn’t take much force to get their asses knocked out, cuffed and loaded into the van. The Grizzlie fucks were brought straight back to the compound to wait for their fate.

  For two days, the four assholes have been strung up from the rafters in the pole barn we had built for such occasions. The building was buried in the middle of club’s property with only the members of the club knowing about its existence. Blaze and Throttle have taken their time working the assholes over trying to information we needed out of them. I was pissed when Axle ordered me to stand down. Axle thought I was too close to this to keep a level head. If it hadn’t been for the fact that I knew, he was speaking from experience I would have put up more of a fight and demanded he let me take a crack at them. A few months ago, Axle lost his shit with the first asshole we caught. He didn’t want history to repeat itself by letting Wall or me near the assholes yet. Between Madison and Avery being jumped and Bree begin attacked our President thought it best if he let Blaze and Throttle take point this time. Wall was just as pissed as I was but we both knew he had a point. All three of us would get our chance for vengeance after the club as a whole felt we had gotten enough information out of them.

  I was over at the big house, avoiding being in the same room as Bree when I got the call to head to the barn. I was so deep in my burning rage I stayed away from her. I didn’t want her to see or deal with me like this. Once this shit was dealt with, and the rage subsided some, I would apologize for avoiding her. When I got the call, I let the rage take over. I had one thing on my mind, and that was making sure that come tomorrow morning Zeke and the other three assholes were rotting in hell.

  I waited by the door in the kitchen for the prospect to come relieve me from my post. Prospect Dalton would stay here with the women, leaving the few prospects from the visiting charters to man the clubhouse while Prospect Aaron stayed at the gate. While I waited impatiently by the back door, God decided to serve me a quick kick in the balls. Bree walked into the kitchen obviously noticing something was wrong with me.

  “Tank, are you okay? Is there something wrong,” she asked as she walked up behind me placing a comforting hand on my back. I jerk away from her touch not wanting to calm the rage monster inside of me just yet. It needed to come out to play, and with her touching me it was tucking its tail and trying to hide like a scared puppy.

  “Everything is fine. Don’t you have something to do or a book to read? Run along now Breezy,” I said without looking at her. I was being an asshole, and I knew it, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at the moment. She needed to leave me alone and let me do what needed to be done. I didn’t need her distracting me before I was able to avenge her. Those fuckers were going to pay for touching her, I’d see to it.

  Bree stood there for a bit before turning and sprinting out of the kitchen. I wanted to go after her but I couldn’t. I couldn’t turn the rage off to check on her and make sure she was okay. I’d find her when this day was done and make things right. I’d make sure to tell her without too many details that the men who were dumb enough to touch wouldn’t be touching anyone ever again. Until then I had shit to do. With the prospect pulling up the path I made my way out to my sled to ride out to the pole barn. It was time to make that fucker pay for touching Bree. Zeke’s punk ass would be meeting the angel of death tonight by my fucking hands.

  Bree

  I know that Tank has been avoiding me, but I didn’t think he was mad at me. That was until he literally gave me the old shoulder leaving me no choice but to tuck tail and hide in the bathroom as I cried myself sick. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed on the floor with my head hovering the porcelain bowl trying to pull myself together. I had been doing so well with hiding my feelings and emotions these last few days. I was starting to believe that I could accept the fact that he and I would never be and yet with just those few moments by the door, my resolve was shattered into a million pieces. A light tapping at the door had my thoughts freez
ing in place. With my heart racing with anticipation, I jumped up to unlock the door think it would be Tank on the other side waiting to apologize for his reaction a few minutes ago.

  My face dropped as I took in the beautiful redhead standing in front of me with pity in her eyes. Izzy looked at me for all of a second before pulling me into her arms for a hug holding me to her chest. “You wanna talk about it? I didn’t mean to overhear, but I was going into the kitchen for a drink. He’s not normally like that sweetheart. Everyone’s been on edge for a while now. I think with you getting attacked it’s just sent him past the point of control,” Izzy said trying to defend Tanks’ actions.

  “I doubt it has anything to do with me. I know Tank just want’s the whole ordeal over so everyone can go back to their lives.”

  “You may be right about him wanting this to be over with, but I think he’s taking things to the extreme because of what happened to you, darling. Tank has been protective of you since he met you in that diner the first night you were in town. He might not be the best at showing his concern without being a dick at times, but it’s driven by the same need to protect you. It kinda runs in the bloodline around these parts. The men around here come out of the womb wired to protect and serve the club, and its members,” Izzy assured me before releasing me.

  “Yeah, okay. If you say so,” I said not believing half of what she was telling me. Tank has let it be known that I mean nothing more to him than any of the other women in the club.

  “Yeah, I do say so! Now we’re not going to talk or worry about anything Tank for the rest of the day. You’re going to get yourself together and join the rest of us in the den. It looks like a game night for the girls while all the men are out doing their shit,” Izzy let me know.

  “Game night? I’m not very good with board games. I’d probably just bring everyone down. I’ll be fine. You guys enjoy, I’m just going to head down to the basement and curl up with another book,” I answered already moving to reach for the doorknob when the fiery red-head spoke again.

  “I really don’t give a flying fuck how good you are at board games woman. You’re not getting out of game night. You’re gonna pull your shit together and join the rest of us in the den. I can’t guarantee a victory for you because Hyde takes winning to a whole new level but I can guarantee you’ll laugh your ass off.”

  “I don’t wanna intrude, Izzy. I’m more than okay with reading a good book. You go on and have a few laughs for me. I’ll see you all later.” Again I move for the doorknob to get out of the close quarters before I actually let myself give into the thought of having a night to hang with the girls.

  Izzy lets me get out the door before I feel her grab hold of my arm to pull me in the direction of the den all the while cussing under her breath and mumbling about how I’d learn one day that I belong just like the rest of them. I want to protest but am quieted by the amused faces I see looking at the sight of Izzy dragging me into the room behind her.

  Before I could say anything Izzy addresses the whole group. “We’ve got our work cut out for us girls. She still doesn’t understand that she’s a part of us and not just some outsider. I swear she’s just as stubborn as your ass, Madison. Now let’s get these games started before you bitches get too drunk to play anything. By the way, I'm putting my foot down by saying I’m not playing fucking Monopoly, so Hyde you’re gonna have to find something else.”

  “You’re no fun, bitch,” Hyde yells, “Then what else are we going to play then, Yahtzee?”

  “Oh hell no! I’m not getting stuck playing Yahtzee with you young bitches,” Momma Bear informs them. “I picked up a new game that I think will be fun. I overheard one of the drivers talking about it. He said it was funny as all get out but not for the faint of heart. I figured it would be right up our alley.”

  And so began my afternoon learning how to play Cards Against Humanity with the girls; Izzy, Madison, Athena, Hyde, Carin, Vivie, Momma Bear, Marley, and Tabby. I let myself join in the laughing, eating and drinking. I think I shocked the hell out of everyone with some of my responses to the black question cards after drinking three glasses of my favorite peach Moscato. It felt good to unwind and act carefree with my friends.

  Tank

  “Well, well, well, fuckers, is anyone ready to tell me what I want to know or am I gonna have to get inventive again,” Wall said with his back still towards the assholes solely at his mercy. “You see the last couple of days have been a cakewalk compared to what I plan to do to each one of you. My Prez has finally given me the go-ahead to end your sorry asses,” Wall’s words sunk in when the guys hanging noticed the cart he was pushing closer to them. Wall had a variety of knives, bolt cutters, pliers and a few pairs of brass knuckles. Looks like our Enforcer was planning on getting bloody.

  “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE I AIN’T TELLING YOU SHIT! YOU AND THE REST OF YOUR PUSSY BROTHERS CAN SUCK MY LEFT NUT,” Zeke yelled back.

  Wall motioned for me to join him. I know he planned on letting me get a little payback for what happened to Breeanna. “Did you hear that Tank? That nasty mother fucker said to suck his left nut. What do you think we should do about that? Isn’t he one of the assholes that jumped your old lady a few night’s back,” Wall asked?

  His words threw me off course long enough to shoot him a look that would kill before I answered and played along. “Yeah, that’s one of the fuckers alright. From what she told me, this asshole planned to shove his dick in something that belongs to me. I’m thinking that we cut that fucker’s little cock off and shove it down his throat. Then the rest of us can take bets on whether he bleeds out or chokes on his own dick,” I answered Wall getting a round of laughs from the rest of the brothers in the room.

  Wall and I set to working over the fucker without either one of the assholes saying a word. We pounded the fucker for twenty minutes before one of the other assholes spoke up. “He’s the only one who knows why we were sent out here. You kill him you might as well kill us all.”

  Surprisingly it was the President of the Kingstree idiots that spoke back. “Look around asshole you’re already dead. If these assholes don’t kill ya then we sure as hell will.”

  That seemed to loosen Zeke’s lips. It didn’t take him long to start screaming at the top of his lungs at our visitors from Kingstree. “YOU FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT! YOU’RE SIDING WITH THEM NOW! YOU ALL ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE TO WEAR THAT GRIZZLIE PATCH!”

  “No mother fucker you’re the fucking disgrace. You have no idea what fucking can of worms you rogue mother fuckers are opening. Hate to break it to you son but, your asses are carrying out Camren’s personal vendetta. You all, along with Carmen, are marked, men. The uppers have put a price on your heads. I already plan on dragging your dead bodies out of here to collect a bounty on your heads to split with these assholes. The question is whether or not you wanna save your families.”

  That got the boys attention, even Zeke’s before he turned on that cocky ass attitude again. “Bullshit. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Carmen wouldn’t fucking lie to me.”

  The rest of us sat back and watched everything unfold. The next thing I knew the President of the Kingstree chapter ran forward and started whaling on Zeke. In between blows he kept telling him what a stupid mother fucker he was and how Carmen rolled on the boys he sent out here. “You, dumb fuck. That asshole sang like a fucking canary. These fucking Devils never stole from the club directly. All they did was get to some money that Carmen was planning on stealing before he had the chance to. He wasn’t even part of the fucking Grizzlies at that point.”

  I could see by the look in my President’s eyes we were thinking the same thing. We now know why these assholes think we ripped off their club, Carmen. Carmen has these fuckers brainwashed into thinking we stole from their club and it had something to do with the shit that went down in Vegas. I stood back as Axle approached the visiting president to stop him.

  “That’s enough,” Axle said halting the man delivering the beating. He
turned with a murderous look on his face that might intimidate some men but not Axle. “I’m willing to let you fuckers deliver them for whatever bounty you can collect but, these assholes have been fucking with my club for well over a damn year. We’ll be the ones to send them to hell,” Axle laid out.

  The KingsTree weren’t happy with Axle’s statement but stepped back without too much fuss. “Alright, boys let’s have a little fun. Tank gets Zeke, that’s a no-brainer, but I want to know who the two fuckers were in Florida that beat the shit out of my girl and my sister,” Axle announced to the room.

  The room remained quiet. I don’t give a fuck who else gets the rest of the assholes as long as I get to be the one to send Zeke’s ass to ground. I have plans to draw it out and make that fucker feel everything. I want that asshole to hurt and beg for me to stop just like I know he would have done to Bree. This fucker isn’t gonna get off easy that’s for damn sure.

  As I was working a plan out in my head my thoughts were interrupted by my President’s voice, “well, Wall looks like we’ll have our pick of the last three but who are we gonna give the fourth one too?”

  “Well, the way I see it, Prez, I get two. Not only did one of these dick heads rough up my girl, one of them shot me in the fucking shoulder,” Wall said with that evil smirk on his face.

  “I forgot all about that. I like your way of thinking. You figure out which two you want, and I’ll take whatever’s left. Let’s get this shit done, I’m ready for a beer,” Axle responded.

  At Axle’s command, I let myself give into the ugly rage monster that had been brewing inside of me waiting to come out to play. I walked over to the cart Wall keeps his personal arsenal locked away in. I went for the brass knuckles when the glint of light caught my eye. There sitting with the light reflecting from it, was the buck knife I know my brother favored. The blade was kept sharp enough to split hairs. I remember how Bree’s voice changed and the tears that streamed down her face as she told me how the fucker pulled the knife out using it to cut through her shirt and her bra. It was time to put the same fear in this fucker. Let that asshole wonder how and where I would strike with it. The room was quiet as I lifted the knife in my hand and slipped a pair of brass knuckles on the other. I took my time slicing through his flesh making sure not to go to deep. I sliced up his arms, legs, and even his feet. After each cut to his flesh, I would counter with a deadly blow to his head or body. I wanted to bleed this fucker dry, but not before he felt every bit of anger I had rolling through me. I lost myself in the zone of working this mother fucker over. I’m not sure what slice of the knife or punch that was thrown took Zeke from this world or how long it took to do it. I just know with each punch I grew angrier. Anger because he touched what was mine and I wasn’t there to stop it.