‘Let me take you home, and we can talk.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded as I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand.
We walked the short distance to Gabriel’s car and he drove me home in silence, although I could feel his eyes burning into me as he checked on me frequently, probably wondering why I was acting like such a fruit loop.
I sat at my kitchen table while Gabriel made us both a cup of coffee.
‘You on decaf now?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. Trying to cut down on my caffeine,’ I answered with a smile.
Gabriel placed our drinks on the table and sat down opposite me. He looked at me with such concern that I thought I might burst into tears again. But I knew that wouldn’t help matters. It must have been my hormones, messing with my ability to think clearly.
‘Please talk to me, Sam. It kills me to see you hurting like this.’
‘Well, I came to talk to you yesterday,’ I sniffed. ‘But one of your goons told me you wouldn’t see me.’
He frowned at me. ‘What? When?’
‘Yesterday morning. I came to your office.’
‘Nobody told me, Sam. I would never refuse to see you. Who did you speak to?’
I picked up my coffee and wrapped my hands around the mug. The warmth was comforting. ‘I don’t know. Some stocky guy with a shaved head.’
‘Fuck!’ he mumbled but then he looked at me. ‘That must have been Stuart. He’s new. I was on a conference call and I told him not to disturb me. He did pop his head in, but I told him to clear off. I didn’t realise it was because you were there. I’m sorry, Sam. If I’d known …’
I sniffed. ‘It’s okay. I probably should have called first instead of just turning up like that.’
‘Sam! You don’t need to make an appointment to see me. You could have just walked into my office yourself, you know?’
‘What? And fought my way past Stuart? Besides, you could have had some woman in there for all I knew.’
He shook his head and frowned at me. ‘Really?’
I shrugged. I knew he wasn’t that guy, but him moving on with someone else who could give him all the things I couldn’t, was my biggest fear.
‘Well, I’m here now. And I’m listening. So, talk to me.’
‘I don’t know how to tell you, Gabe,’ I said.
‘Tell me what?’ he asked. I could see his jaw working overtime, the way it did when he was desperately trying to keep a lid on his temper. Trying to maintain the control he so desperately needed. I was about to blow his world apart and I didn’t want to hurt him any more than I already had.
‘Whatever it is, we can handle it,’ he said.
I liked the way he said we. As though we were still a unit. I took a large gulp of my milky coffee. ‘I’m pregnant. Almost seven weeks.’
‘What?’ he stared at me. ‘But I thought you were on the pill?’
‘I am. I was. But I didn’t take it properly after we broke up. And then...’ I trailed off, not feeling like discussing our epic sex life at that moment.
‘Wow,’ he said as he ran a hand over his face. ‘Have you decided what you’re going to do?’
‘Yes. I’m keeping the baby. But this doesn’t change anything between us, Gabe. And I don’t expect anything from you. This was my mistake.’
‘Are you fucking kidding me? It changes everything. And please don’t call our child a mistake!’
I blinked at him. ‘I didn’t mean...’ I said before I started to cry again. What the hell was wrong with me?
‘Get your things, Samantha. You’re coming home with me,’ he said.
‘No, I’m not. I’m staying here,’ I made a feeble protest.
‘Nothing’s changed for you. I get that. But you are carrying my child. And I won’t let you put it in danger because you’re too stubborn to accept my help. Jackson will go fucking mental when he finds out about this, and I can’t be worrying about you being here on your own. So, pack a fucking bag. Now!’
My lip trembled as I stood up and walked to my bedroom. I threw some things into a bag although I could barely stop snivelling long enough to do it.
Damn pregnancy hormones!
Chapter 74
If the car journey to my apartment had been strained, then the drive back to Gabriel’s house was ten times worse. I could feel the anger radiating from his body. His arms and hands were rigid as he gripped the steering wheel. And the worst of it was, I wasn’t entirely sure why he was so angry with me. Although at least I had managed to stop crying.
Gabriel carried my bag inside and showed me to the spare room. Thankfully my father must have left shortly after his blonde lady friend.
‘Towels and stuff are in the cupboard,’ Gabriel said gruffly as he closed the door behind him and left me to it. I got the feeling he resented my presence there and wondered why he’d bothered asking me to come. But whatever the reason, I was glad that he had. Just being under the same roof as him made me feel better. Although I wished I was staying in his room with him. I missed him so much. The feel of his hands on my body. The warmth of him. Especially when I woke in the middle of the night, as I often did. I had become so used to him being there, curling into him, worming myself underneath his arm into the crook of his shoulder. Now when I reached out, I felt nothing but the cool cotton sheets.
I put the few things I’d brought with me away and wandered downstairs. Gabriel was in the kitchen making coffee.
‘I’m working from home today. Help yourself to anything you want. You know where everything is,’ he said.
Then he disappeared into the back room he used as a home office. I padded barefoot around his house searching for something to do, anything to distract me from the memories of the other times I had been there. I flicked through some of the books on his bookshelf but nothing could hold my attention. I drifted back to the kitchen and opening the fridge, I saw there was a fresh chicken. I decided to rustle up a roast dinner. I refused to make one on a Sunday anymore — another little rebellion of mine, but a Saturday roast would be just fine.
Dinner was cooking nicely and I decided to take a shower, enjoying the hot water running over my body, wishing it was Gabriel’s hands, as it had been the last time I’d been in there.
After I’d showered I realised I hadn’t brought many of my things with me and had nothing comfortable to change into. One of Gabriel’s t-shirts was on top of the laundry basket. I picked it up and held it to my nose. It smelled of him and I put it on, feeling closer to him as I inhaled his unique scent. I walked back downstairs, hoping that Gabriel would soon emerge from his office.
As I finished preparing dinner, the house started to fill with the aroma of roast chicken and potatoes. It smelled delicious — even if I did say so myself. As I strained the vegetables over the sink, Gabriel’s voice broke the silence.
‘What’s going on in here?’
‘Erm. Cooking. I hope you don’t mind,’ I said, indicating his t-shirt. ‘I didn’t bring much with me.’
‘Of course not. Have you made a roast dinner?’ he walked over to the worktop and looked at the food appreciatively.
‘Yes. To say thank-you for looking after me today. I know I’m not easy-'
‘Well, that’s an understatement,’ he said.
I ignored the barb and went on. ‘And I wanted to talk to you — about the baby.’
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, in that way that drove me crazy. ‘I don’t feel like an argument right now, Samantha.’
‘Neither do I, Gabe. But I need to know how we’re going to do this.’
‘How we’re going to do this?’ he said with a shake of his head. ‘I have no fucking idea, Sam. I suppose that all depends on you, doesn’t it? The last time you were here, you left me and you told me you didn’t want any of this. So, although you may not want to be with me, I am going to be in our child’s life whether you like it or not.’
I choked back a sob. Damn these bloody hormones! They were turning me into a sobb
ing mess. How could he possibly think that I wouldn’t want him in our child’s life?
‘Of course I want you in our child’s life, Gabe. But I know this must have come as a shock to you. It did to me. I wasn’t sure you’d even want to do this? We never discussed kids.’
‘Well, we never got the chance to, did we?’ he snapped.
He must have seen the hurt in my eyes as his face softened again. ‘I think the fact that you’re here tells you that I want to do this, doesn’t it? It’s a surprise, yes, but I’m as responsible for this situation just as much as you are. I believe it takes two, doesn’t it? Although I never did pay much attention in biology,’ he replied with a smile.
I nodded. Satisfied with his response for the time being, I plated up the food.
Gabriel tucked into his food while I picked at mine. I was discovering that feeling nauseous for at least eight hours a day was another wonderful side effect of my pregnancy.
‘This is good, Sam,’ he said with a smile.
‘Thanks. It was another one of the things I had to learn to be good at. A proper wife must be able to cook after all.’
He stopped eating to look at me. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
I nodded. ‘I feel better now than I did this morning anyway.’
He smiled and went back to his dinner.
‘Why were you so angry with me this morning? Was it because of the baby? Do you think that I’ve trapped you?’
Putting down his knife and fork he sighed. ‘Samantha! I thought we’d just discussed this. Of course I don’t think you trapped me.’
‘So why were you so annoyed with me then?’
‘Because you said that a baby didn’t change anything between us. As though it could be anyone’s and it wouldn’t matter to you. Like I’m just some fucking sperm donor.’
I felt the tears sting my eyes again. ‘No, that’s not it at all. I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to tie you to me. It means everything to me that this baby is yours — ours. But there’s Jackson … You’re right, he’s going to go crazy when he finds out. I need you to understand, Gabe, that there is nothing that man wouldn’t do. When he finds out I am carrying your child …’ I shook my head. I couldn’t bear to finish the sentence.
‘Let me worry about that fucker. I won’t let him anywhere near either of you,’ he said.
Suddenly, the emotions of the whole day and the preceding few weeks felt like they completely overwhelmed me and I started to sob.
‘Sam,’ he said as he started to stand up.
I knew he was going to try and comfort me. I held up my hand to stop him. ‘There’s something else I need to tell you about,’ I said.
He sat back down and nodded. ‘Go on.’
‘I’ve been pregnant before, Gabe,’ I sniffed. This was the most painful memory I had. ‘You and my dad always wondered why I won’t drive anymore? It’s because the last time I did, I lost my child.’
He stared at me, his eyes full of concern.
‘I’d had an argument with Jackson. We were having dinner with some friends and he had berated me in front of them for some minor misdemeanour. Then he’d followed me to the ladies’ room and continued his tirade in private. I left and drove home. It was raining, and I was in a state. I probably shouldn’t have been driving, but I just wanted to get away from him and get home. I didn’t see the car swerving on the opposite side of the road until it was too late. The other driver crashed straight into me, head on.’
‘Jesus, Sam,’ Gabriel said.
‘I was almost five months pregnant.’
He stared at me, blinking as he digested what I’d told him.
‘She was a girl. I called her Alice, after my mum.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Gabriel whispered.
‘I was unconscious and rushed straight to hospital. Of course, Jackson was called, and he enjoyed playing the role of the devoted husband and father, while we had an audience at least. But as soon as we were alone he couldn’t wait to tell me that I’d murdered our child. For the next four years, he used it against me every opportunity he could. I’ve never driven a car since that day.’
‘Sam,’ Gabriel said softly as looked at me. ‘I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine,’ he shook his head. ‘You must miss her every day.’
I nodded. ‘I do.’
He reached out and took hold of my hand and lifted it to his face, brushing my fingertips across his lips. His touch felt like an electric current on my skin. I wanted him so much. I wanted to feel his hands all over my body and taste the sweet saltiness of his skin.
The moment was interrupted by the ringing of Gabriel’s phone. He looked at the caller display. ‘I’m sorry, Sam, but I really need to take this,’ he said as he stood up and walked into the other room. I strained to listen and could hear his side of the conversation.
‘You’re kidding? Really? This is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping for. And your timing couldn’t be better.’
‘You’re a legend. I owe you one, a very big one.’
‘Yeah, well I appreciate it just the same.’
There was a long pause before I heard him speaking again. ‘I’ll be there in half an hour.’
A few seconds later Gabriel walked back into the kitchen.
‘I know the timing is awful, but I have to go out for a few hours. Will you be okay here on your own?’ he asked as he was putting on his coat.
I nodded. I didn’t want him to leave, and I wanted to know where he was going, but I supposed it was none of my business really. ‘I’ll be fine,’ I said.
‘I can ask your dad-'
‘No,’ I interrupted him. The last thing I needed was my dad fussing over me. ‘I wasn’t planning on telling him about the baby until I’ve had my twelve-week scan.’
‘Okay. Nobody knows you’re here. So, you should be perfectly safe. And no-one knows you’re pregnant?’ he asked.
I shook my head. ‘Just you, me and my doctor.’
‘Good,’ he nodded. ‘I can ask someone to come and sit outside though if that would make you feel better?’
‘I’m fine, honestly,’ I lied. ‘I’m a big girl.’
What I really wanted to do was to throw myself at him, beg him to stay home, take me to bed and fuck my brains out. But of course, I didn’t.
‘I’ll be back as soon as I can,’ he said as he checked his mobile phone distractedly. ‘Don’t wait up though. You need your sleep.’
The closeness that had been there between us just a few moments ago already gone, I watched as he walked out of the door.
Chapter 75
Gabriel
I checked the address that Nick had sent me again as I walked up the path to the large house that had been converted to flats. I looked for Flat Number 2A and saw her name beside it – Ms Jayne Hunter. I pressed the buzzer and a few seconds later heard her voice through the speaker.
‘Hello?’
‘Hi, Ms Hunter. It’s Gabriel Sullivan. Nick said you’d be expecting me.’
‘Of course,’ she answered. ‘Come on up.’
I heard the buzz of the door opening and pushed against it. I climbed the stairs to the second floor before I reached Flat 2A. She opened the door as I reached it and invited me inside. I followed her into her sitting room and she offered me a seat.
‘Would you like some tea?’ she offered. ‘I was just about to make one.’
I was desperate to speak to her, but I sensed she didn’t get many visitors and she reminded me of my aunt, Maggie. ‘Yes. That would be lovely. Thanks,’ I replied.
A few moments later, Jayne brought in a tray complete with a plate of biscuits, milk, sugar cubes, a teapot and two china cups and saucers. She poured our drinks and I sat back patiently.
‘Help yourself to milk and sugar, dear,’ she said.
I poured some milk into the tea before picking up the delicate china cup. I couldn’t get my large finger through the tiny handle and had to hold it by its rim.
She caugh
t sight of me and laughed. ‘I’m sorry, would you prefer a mug, dear?’
I took a sip of the hot liquid before putting it back down on my saucer. ‘No. I’m fine,’ I shook my head. ‘So Nick told me you could help with my problem?’
She nodded. ‘I can. I should have said something years ago, but I couldn’t. They are such powerful men, Gabriel. They threatened me. And they ruined my daughter’s life,’ she added.
‘They ruined her life?’ I asked. Nick hadn’t mentioned this.
She sniffed and nodded. ‘She was a promising young solicitor when that beast, Jackson Carver, got his claws into her. He pursued her for months, even thought he was married to that lovely woman. I read about what he did to her. Monster!’ she said with a shake of her head. ‘Anyway, my daughter and him had an affair. I disapproved, obviously, and I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen. But then children never do, do they?’ she asked as she took a sip of her tea.
I wouldn’t know. But I was about to learn, wasn’t I? And that reminder of Samantha’s pregnancy made me smile. That had been the best news I’d heard all year. And although it was a surprise to both of us, I knew that it would be the best thing that ever happened to us.
‘Anyway,’ Jayne went on, ‘after he got fed up of her, he dumped her. But that wasn’t enough for him, he had to ruin her career too. He told everyone that she was obsessed with him. He made out that she had stalked him and was unhinged. She couldn’t show her face anywhere. Poor girl.’
I nodded and took another drink of tea. Had her daughter worried about Samantha being able to show her face while she was screwing her husband? I took a deep breath. I was letting my emotion cloud my judgement, but I could hardly bear to think about the life Samantha must have had with that cunt.
‘So, what was the information you thought might be helpful to me, Jayne?’ I asked. I hoped that it was valuable, and it wasn’t some petty attempt to get justice for her daughter.
Dark Angel: A Dark Romance: London Ruthless Series Book 1 (The London Ruthless Series) Page 27