by Jessica Ames
I shake it off and leave the room. The two other bedrooms are empty, but one of them has ponies on the walls, so I assume it was Lily-May’s room. I head back down the stairs and find Lucy waiting by the door where I left her.
“Go grab what you need.”
She moves around me and I grab her wrists stopping her, then I dip my head and kiss her.
“I won’t be long,” she tells me.
Lucy pulls out of my hold and I let her go. Then I watch her arse as she moves up the stairs. The jeans are practically painted on her, clinging to her body in all the right places. I want to follow her up those stairs and take her, but I move into the living room and peer through the blinds. Being here is risky, but I’m not afraid. Whatever happens I know me and my brothers can protect Lucy. No one will touch her again and I’ll kill anyone who tries.
13
Lucy
As soon as I close my bedroom door, I shrug out of Nox’s leather jacket, tossing it on the bed and rush over to the chest of drawers. I sag down onto my knees in front of it, my heart pounding.
Glancing at the door, I check Nox isn’t going to come bursting in before I carefully pull the bottom drawer free of the runners. There’s a little box hidden in the recess between it and the plinth around the base of the unit—just enough space to hide what I needed.
My mouth dries as I stare at the box. It’s been a long time since I last had to disappear. It was easy then. I didn’t have links, people I care about. Now, I have shit to lose, things at stake.
I should never have allowed myself the luxury of caring about someone else. I should never have allowed myself to get close to Sasha and Lily-May. They’re all I have and the thought of walking away from them feels like a knife to the gut. What choice do I have, though? If I stay, I put them and the entire club at risk. I put myself at risk. Isaac will demand me back, and I’m not sure the Sons won’t hand me over just to keep the peace.
Pushing those thoughts aside, with trembling hands, I tug the box out and place it on the carpet in front of me. For a moment I stare at it, like it’s a live bomb. Touching this means I’m moving on, that my life in London is done. That makes my stomach fill with lead.
Carefully, I pull the lid off and peer inside. There’s documentation, a passport, ID, money—everything I need to start a new life somewhere else.
With a heavy heart, I gather up all the stuff in one hand and stand. Then I toss it on the bed before moving to the wardrobe and pulling out a large holdall bag. I shove the stuff in the side pocket, carefully zipping it up. That is my road to safety. I can’t afford to lose it.
I step over to my drawers and start to empty my clothes into the bag. When I’m finished, I put the bottom drawer back into the unit and close it, hiding all evidence it was ever out in the first place.
I’m just zipping the holdall up when there’s a knock on the door and Nox pops his head around the frame.
“You done?”
“Nearly,” I tell him. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
“Anything for you, baby.”
His words make my stomach heat and I duck my head to hide my smile.
He moves into the room and closes the space between us. His hand cups my jaw and I can’t stop from leaning into it. All my sense, all my resolve disappears when he’s around me. I can’t stop from feeling things, from wanting things. If it wasn’t for Isaac, I wouldn’t question it at all. I want Nox. I want him with every fibre of my being.
When he takes my mouth, I let him, welcome it, encourage it. My tongue finds his, sweeping over it as he claims me, takes me, uses me. Nox’s hands sweep under my tee, trailing over my spine and a shiver of pure pleasure runs through me. I shouldn’t let this happen, but I can’t stop from taking what he’s offering. It’s the last chance for real happiness, because when I leave, my life will be filled with darkness I’m not sure I can wade through this time. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave the life I’ve made, but that isn’t my choice.
So, I tangle my fingers with his as he reaches for my hands and when he walks me back to the mattress, I let him come down on top of me. I know it’s cruel to do this to him, but I can’t stop now that I’ve started. When he pulls my tee over my head, I let him do it and when he pulls the cups of my bra down, I can’t stop my fingers from moving to the clasp on the back.
He takes one of my breasts in his hand and caresses over the nipple until I’m squirming. I can barely draw air as he moves back and forth over the sensitive nub. When he sucks it into his mouth, my back arches off the mattress and tingles race through my belly. Heat pools between my legs and he lifts off me to remove his kutte. He slides it off his shoulders before he drags his tee over his head. Then he moves to unbutton his jeans, his eyes locked on mine as he pushes them down his thighs.
Standing in his boxers, Nox scrapes his thumb over his bottom lip, his heated gaze taking me in. He moves to my jeans and slowly pulls them down my legs. When his touch comes back to skim over my hips to pull my underwear down, my body quivers with anticipation.
Lying naked in front of Nox, my bruises yellowy-green, fading from the crash, the urge to cover myself is a heartbeat away, but the way he’s looking at me gives me confidence. It’s like he’s a starving man and I’m his next meal.
“Okay?” he questions.
I nod. I’m more than okay.
My fingers scrape over his shaved head as he moves between my legs and then he dives in down there, his tongue flattening against my slit before he drags it up to my clit. The sound I make is feral, inhuman and desperate. I squirm, trying to bring my thighs together to create some friction, but his fingers hold them apart as he licks his way around my pussy.
I’m so close to the edge as he keeps licking, so close I’m about to come apart at the seams. My breath rips out of me in little pants, sounds I’ve never heard erupting from my mouth. Isaac didn’t care if I got off, as long as he did, so Nox taking his time to make sure I get my happy ending is novel and it makes tears prick my eyes.
His fingers slip inside me, hitting that spot that nearly takes me over the edge and I writhe under the mix of sensations that are coming at me from all directions.
I forget about all of that as he darts his tongue out once more and my orgasm slams into me. My breath catches as my lungs stutter and then a delicious shiver goes through my entire body.
He gives me a moment to recover then he tugs his boxers down, freeing his cock. It’s thick, veiny and my mouth waters as I stare at it. He snags his jeans and pulls out his wallet, tugging a condom from the back of it.
I watch, mesmerized as he slides the rubber down his shaft, giving his dick two pulls before he steps back towards the bed. He moves up my body and his cock nudges against my entrance. I’ve never felt such a connection, such chemistry with a man before. I’ve never felt cherished and wanted. He’s hard as a rock against my heat and he watches my face as he slowly pushes into me. My pussy, vibrating from the aftermath of my orgasm, clenches around him as soon as he enters.
He feels amazing, big, stretching me as he settles for a moment, then he drags out of me before pushing back in. I moan, fisting my hands into the duvet beneath me as I try to stay grounded, but my mind is wild, focusing on nothing more than the feeling of what we’re doing.
He flips me onto my front and pulls my bum towards him, then he enters me from behind, his fingers bruising as they grip my hips. At this angle, he’s able to get deeper and I can’t stop from falling forwards onto my elbows, my face pressed into the mattress as I try to take steady breaths.
His long strokes continue to push me closer to the edge and my orgasm comes quickly. I fall over the edge, gasping his name and with a grunt, he explodes into the condom a moment later.
Nox pulls out slowly, and I moan as he does. Then he collapses onto the mattress next to me. Face down, I twist my head to look at him.
He brushes my tangled hair from my face.
“Okay?” he asks again.
“Yeah,” I give him the words this time.
“We should clean up.”
“In a second. I can’t feel my body right now.”
He chuckles and I love the sound. I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him properly laugh. He’s normally so serious.
Nox leans forwards slightly and kisses me. It’s awkward because of the angle I’m lying at, but we manage to lock lips.
I should feel at peace, happy, but the only emotion that hits me as I take in this beautiful man is guilt.
I should never have slept with him when I’m planning on leaving.
Can I really walk away from this, from him?
Honestly, I don’t know.
14
Nox
I shouldn’t have shagged Lucy, but I don’t regret a moment of it. I remember what it felt like sinking into her heat, the little moans of pleasure that fell from her lips. That woman does things to me that I can’t explain, makes me feel shit I’ve never felt. She makes my heart pound and my stomach flip, she makes my world right.
I sound like a pussy, but I don’t care. If I’m being honest with myself, I’d admit I’m falling for her hard and while that should scare me, it doesn’t. Nothing about this woman scares me, other than the thought of her walking away from me. She has the power to destroy me.
Lucy strides out of the bathroom, pulling her wet hair into a ponytail as she moves. She’s pulled on some clean clothes—jeans that fit her like a fucking glove, a low-cut tee that exposes the swell of her tits and a pair of calf length boots that make her legs look amazing. I want to tear them off and take her right here, but I calm my aching dick down. We’ve already lingered here too long.
Pushing up from the wall where I’m leaning, my pulse shooting through the roof and my throat constricting, I unglue my tongue from the roof of my mouth and straighten my kutte. She looks beautiful, always does, even with the steadily fading bruises to her face and chest. My eyes skim over each one, cataloguing, remembering them. I plan on making those cunts pay for every hurt they caused her. Fleeing for her life, petrified they were going to come for her—it makes my stomach fill with acid. I never want my girl scared. I never want her to feel anything but safe and protected. I swear right in that moment I’ll never let anything touch her.
I move towards her, craving her touch, needing to feel she’s whole and healthy with my own hands. She lets me take her hand and peers up at me, her eyes heavy with want, but there’s a hint of coyness there. I hate that uncertainty. Why the fuck is it even there? Every day I show her how much I fucking want her, and every day she lets me in piece by piece, her walls coming down a brick at a time. I don’t know what hurt she has in her past that has made her this way, but I’m determined to get around it. I’ll take every piece she gives me and put her back together. I’ll take a sledgehammer to that brick wall. I want her in my life. Hell, I need her in my life.
As she steps towards me, I give in to the urge to claim her, taking her mouth without invitation. She leans into my touch and gives back without question. I fucking love that she does. The strength of feeling I have for her is matched by her own and that makes me want to holler and cheer my triumph. I don’t doubt she wants me, but I do sense her hesitancy sometimes and one thing I’ll never do is force her into something she doesn’t want. I’m not Sin.
The fact she does want it elates me because I want it more than my next breath.
I chase her tongue into her mouth, sucking it against mine and I love the little moan she makes. It sends my heart rate through the roof. My fingers splay over the back of her neck, collaring her so I can pull her closer, so I can deepen the kiss.
When I release her lips, I’m panting, but so is she. She peers up at me with those beautiful blue eyes of hers and the urge to be inside her is an itch I can’t scratch.
“You have to stop kissing me like this,” she says breathlessly.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t think when you do.”
My lips tug into a smile, loving that she’s knocked off kilter by me. “What do you need to think about, baby?”
She swallows hard and glances away, and my happy feelings go poof. My stomach lurches at the dismissal and I don’t like that it does. I cup her face, bringing her gaze back to me.
“Luce?” I let the question dangle between us.
Her eyes raise to meet mine and I see the turbulence in her pale blue irises. I don’t like that it’s there, especially as I have no idea why. Does she regret what we did?
When her mouth moves up at the corners the pain developing in my chest loosens a little and I’m able to draw air without pain.
“Thank you.”
I have no idea why the fuck she’s thanking me, so my brows draw together. “For what?”
“Showing me I’m worth something.”
Her words are like a dagger to the chest. Who the fuck made her believe she wasn’t worth shit? I want to kill that fucker with my bare hands, although the thought of her with another man has the same effect. I hate that her smile is filled with sadness.
I dip my head and kiss her, needing to show her how much she means to me. I give her the words too, just in case my actions aren’t clear enough.
“You’re worth more than something, baby. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Her fingers run over her lips, as if she’s committing my kiss to memory. I have no fucking clue what is going on with her right now, but my gut tells me something is wrong, and I’ve learnt to trust my gut over the years.
“Whatever happens, I’ll never forget this,” she tells me quietly. “It meant the world to me.”
I grab her wrists, stopping her. Her stepping away from me fills my stomach with lead. It feels like she’s physically and emotionally distancing herself and I don’t fucking like it.
“Why are you talking like this?”
I watch her throat work as she swallows, not meeting my gaze and that feeling in my gut gets heavier.
“Things aren’t exactly safe right now. Anything could happen.”
Her words are a kick to the balls. Does she not think I can protect her? Does she not see that I’d lay my life down to keep her safe?
“Ain’t nothing going to happen. Ain’t letting shit touch you, Lucy. Those men come back and I’ll put a bullet in them.”
She opens her mouth, as if she’s poised to say something, then stops.
“What?” I press, desperate to hear her words, but scared of what she might say. There’s not much that a man like me fears, but her telling me she doesn’t want this scares me to death.
Lucy’s hand reaches up and cups my jaw. I can’t stop from leaning into her touch.
“You’re a good man, Nox.”
I’m not, not by a long shot, but she makes me want to be better. She makes me want to try for her. She makes those monsters that live inside me disappear, even if it’s only for a while. With her, I feel like I could be anyone. I feel like more than just Lennox Mathews, the club brat expected to follow in his dead father’s footsteps, expected to live up to a ghost.
“Let’s get back to the clubhouse,” I tell her softly. I want to put her somewhere safe again, somewhere I can protect her. Being here is risky. I don’t tell her that. I don’t want to freak her out. “We’ve left Day and Titch waiting long enough.”
She cringes and covers her face with her hands. I love watching the pink dappling her face and chest beneath the fading bruises. “They’re totally going to know what we did, aren’t they?”
I pull her hands from her face, hating that she’s hiding herself. “Yep, but they won’t give a shit either. Come on.”
I reach for her holdall in the doorway of the bedroom and lift it. It’s heavy as fuck and I wonder how many clothes she’s packed.
“I can carry that,” Lucy says, trying to reach for it.
I pull it away from her, which earns me a cute as fuck scowl.
“I know.”
I start down the stairs, chucklin
g at her tutting. I feel her at my back, hear her softer footfalls as she follows me, and while I’d rather be behind her and watch that arse of hers swaying from side to side, I’m not letting her go first in case there’s trouble—not that I think there will be. My brothers would have let me know if anything was going on. Not many people will come against us. We don’t have the reputation we have from shitting rainbows.
When I open the front door, I do it carefully, peering through the small gap. There’s nothing moving outside, so I open it fully, stepping out, my eyes scanning the horizon for trouble. I wait for her to lock up the flat, my back to her, making sure nothing is going to attack us from the front. She pockets her keys and while I’m itching to take her hand, I don’t. I need it free in case I need to reach for the gun hidden under my kutte.
We hurry down the walkway towards the stairs and I keep my body positioned in a way it protects Lucy. My eyes scan our surroundings, looking for trouble, but I can see my two brothers standing in the parking area, alert, but relaxed.
My galloping heart slows to a trot, but I still don’t let my guard down. I’m no stranger to violence—even death. I never cared if something happened to me. It’s part of this life, an expectation even. You ride hard and take risks, eventually they bite you on the arse. I’ve been shot at over the years, run into more brawls than I can count, headed into a rival club’s clubhouse unarmed to save my president who was being tortured. Hell, I even laid my bike down trying to escape a firefight. I’m not scared of dying.
At least I wasn’t until Lucy came into my life.