by Jessica Ames
17
Lucy
My mind is a jumble as I try to work out what else I’m going to need to make my escape. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave Nox or Sasha, but I have to. The time has come. I can’t delay any longer.
Fear makes me edgy, my heart racing in my chest as I stuff my packed holdall under the bed. As soon as the clubhouse quietens down for the night and the prospect comes off the gate to man the bar, I’ll leave. I just have to keep my head down until then. My gut fills with bile. Doing this will hurt the people I love, but what choice do I have?
I call Sasha for the last time. We talk for an hour, my jaw aching as we laugh about random shit no one else would probably find funny. Leaving her is going to hurt, knowing I’m betraying her hurts more. It’s on the tip of my tongue several times in the conversation to tell her my secrets, to come clean, but fear of what might happen to her, to me, if the truth is out keeps my mouth firmly shut. She would have to tell Ravage, and fuck knows what would happen then. I can’t see the club letting me walk out of here in one piece.
When I’m finished talking to Sasha, I let my tears flow, let go of the emotions I’m holding behind the dam wall. This is too hard, but it has to be done. What choice is there? As I sit there, I let my anger, my rage for Isaac grow. I hate him for putting me in this position, for not letting me go when I want to. I hate him for keeping me trapped like a caged animal.
My hate is pointless, though. A waste of energy. It won’t change what has to happen.
A fist pounds on the door, and I jolt back. My first thought is do they know, but if they did, would they bother knocking? These men don’t strike me as people who knock on their enemies’ doors.
Slowly, I get to my feet and move to the door, wipe moist palms on my jeans. When I reach for the handle, I try not to freak out, but my hands are trembling. I twist the knob and pull it open, revealing Nox. His shoulders are sagged, his demeanour on edge.
“I need you,” he says with a desperation I’ve never heard from him.
I should say no, but this will be the last time I’ll have him. Selfishly, I nod. His mouth crashes down on mine, his tongue plundering into my mouth as he pushes me against the wall, my spine slamming into the plaster hard enough to bruise. His movements are frantic and bold as he takes, claims what he wants and I let him, wanting everything he’s giving. We tear off each other’s tops and he slips my bra off, leaving us both bare from the waist up.
His fingers tangle in my hair, tugging my head back so he can deepen the kiss and my legs feel like jelly. I grip his biceps, trying to keep traction and let him take what he needs from me.
His knee goes between my legs, forcing them apart and then his free hand cups my pussy. I gasp as he rubs me there, tingles building in my pelvis. I’ve never seen this side of him, and I can’t say I don’t like it. He’s forceful, but I’m not scared, not even a little. I know if I tell him to stop, he will, but the frenetic pace of his movements has my pussy throbbing with anticipation.
I’m lifted into his arms and he walks me over to the bed, tossing me down on the mattress. I bounce a little before he crawls on top of me and captures my mouth again. I can barely breathe and I’m grateful when he pulls away, giving me a chance to drag oxygen into my lungs.
Lying on my back, I watch as he moves to my jeans and tugs them down with my underwear, leaving my pussy on display to him. He doesn’t pull them off my ankles, but instead moves back between my legs, his tongue darting over my clit.
I arch off the bed, a moan ripping from my lips as he touches my sensitive area. Then his fingers find their way inside me and I nearly come right there. He continues to finger fuck me, his heated eyes locked on my face as he does. I break contact with his gaze as my orgasm hits. My eyes screw shut as I gasp and blurt out his name. Fireworks dance behind my lids and between my legs pulses in time with my racing heart. He’s going to kill me at this rate.
Nox doesn’t give me a chance to recover. He flips me onto my stomach, pulling my arse up. Cool air touches the dampness between my legs, and I tremble as I lean on my forearms, waiting for him.
Anticipation gets the better of me and I peer over my shoulder in time to see him rolling a condom down his magnificent shaft. He gives his dick two pulls then steps over to me. Grabbing my hips, he spears me to him in one quick motion.
I cry out as my pussy burns at the sudden intrusion before it adjusts to his cock. He waits for a second before he pulls back and then slams balls deep into me again. Delicious sensations tingle through my belly, and I lean heavily on my forearms as he drives into my pussy from behind. At this angle, he’s able to get deep inside me and every touch has tingles building higher until I’m a writhing, sweaty mess beneath him.
My orgasm this time makes my vision wink out for a second, and he follows me over the edge with a groan of his own. His cock moves in and out of me for a moment longer before he pulls free, leaving me whimpering for more and sags onto the bed next to me.
He turns his head towards me and a lazy grin is splayed over his face.
Nox pulls me into his arms, our naked bodies pressed against each other. He gently strokes my hair.
“I love you.”
My heart shatters into a million pieces at his words. He can’t love me. He can’t want me. How am I supposed to leave with him saying these things to me? Shame clings to me like dirt rubbed into my skin, and I have no idea what to say to him. I love him too, but I’m planning on leaving. How can I give him the words and then walk out on him?
It kills me to do it, but I crane my neck and brush my lips over his, hoping I can show him with actions what I can’t say with words.
The universe is a cruel bitch. My life has been a series of hurt and pain and now I’ve finally found something good I have to leave it behind.
We stay wrapped in each other for the rest of the night, fucking and cuddling. I don’t know what happened to him today, but what I do know is I don’t leave the compound.
Tomorrow night I will go. I have to.
Time is running out for Lucy Franklin.
18
Nox
I wake the next morning with Lucy in my arms. She’s still asleep, black smudges ringing her eyes as if she hasn’t been sleeping well. I watch her sleep, my mouth pulled into a smile, until my phone beeps.
Carefully, I roll to the side and look at the screen. It’s a message from Rav. He wants to speak to me in the common room.
I free myself from Lucy’s hold and climb out of bed. I need to shower, but I pull on my boxers, my jeans and my tee before shrugging into my Untamed Sons kutte. The leather is soft, worn from years of wear. It’s a part of me and will always be a part of me, but Lucy makes me want to be more than just a brother.
I don’t know what the fuck came over me yesterday, but Titch’s words were playing in my head on repeat when I got to her room. Last night, I’d fucked her like a man desperate for answers, but too much of a pussy to ask for them. I’d fucked her like a man who needed her to breathe.
I give her a lingering look as I make my way to the door, my heart pounding. My brothers are fucking wrong.
I steal from the room like a one-night stand. I don’t like the idea of her waking up alone, but if she’s going to be mine that’s something she’ll have to get used to. My club keeps me busy at all times of the day and night.
Lucy tracks my thoughts as I head into the bowels of the clubhouse. The urge to keep her safe overwhelms me. I have to protect her. She’s done so much for our club by keeping Sasha and Lily-May, but it’s more than that.
I love her.
I fucking love her.
I shouldn’t.
I’m no good for a woman like Lucy. I bring too much darkness to the table—darkness that will stain her too after a time. It’s impossible to be around the club and not be marred by it, but I don’t want my filth to touch her. I should keep my distance, but I can’t do it. The thought of staying away makes my gut fill with rot. I’m a
selfish prick, putting my needs before hers, but I feel a connection to Lucy that I’ve never felt with anyone else and I’m not ready to let it go. When I see Rav with Sasha, I want that for me.
But this ain’t me. I don’t dwell on women. I don’t get caught up in someone else’s drama. Yet here I am, knee-deep in her shit, and that shit could be getting deeper—if Titch is right. I hate that thought. It twists my gut that I doubt her for a fucking second.
I find Rav sitting at the bar in the common room, a glass of Scotch in front of him.
“You wanted to see me?” I ask as I slide onto the stool next to him.
“We’ve got a shipment of guns coming in this week.”
No matter what happens our world still keeps turning and business has to get done. It doesn’t stop just because Lucy was nearly murdered.
He talks me through the details, but my mind keeps straying back to what Titch said—if it’s not Hank they were targeting, it has to be Lucy. Could it be some fucking stalker? Someone obsessed with my girl? Something Lucy herself isn’t aware of?
The thought has my blood pumping with anger. There’s no way she could look me in the eyes as if I capture the fucking moon and lie to me.
“You fucking listening to me?” Rav’s growl has my head snapping towards him.
“Yeah.”
I’m not. I have no fucking idea what he just said.
“You want to get distracted by pussy, that’s your call,” Rav says, “but if that starts affecting club shit, I’m—”
“It’s not,” I cut him off before he can deliver whatever threat he’s about to. “I’m fucking focused. Always have been. Nothing changes that.”
The fact he thinks I’m not pisses me off. Yes, Lucy is a distraction, but my head is in the game. I will never let my club down. Now that I’ve claimed her, I need her to fit in. I need to take the heat off her and not give my brothers more bullets to use against her.
He peers at me for a second, as if trying to pull the lie from my head then scowls. “Do you think you’ll need more than Levi with you on this run?”
It’s a simple drop off to our Birmingham chapter. Friendlies. I could do it alone, but Rav always has us travel in pairs in case someone decides to take a shot at us. It’s happened before. It’s how our Edinburgh chapter Road Captain lost his life. He was alone on a run and some fucker from a rival gang took his damned head nearly clean off with a shotgun when he was stopped at a service station.
Since then, all chapters agreed runs have to be done in groups of at least two. Rav would prefer three or four, but given how hot things are here right now, we can’t risk losing that many brothers.
If Lucy’s attackers turn up, we need to be prepared and ready to fight. We also have Blackwood’s goons out there for fuck knows what reason.
Even the idea of leaving for this run has my stomach churning. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave Lucy, but the club needs me to do this.
Rav’s phone rings and I play with the pint glass in front of me while I wait for him to answer it.
“What?” he barks down the line. He listens for a moment, then his eyes find mine and I see the fire blazing in his gaze. “I’m on my way.”
He hangs up and pushes up from the stool.
“What’s going on?” I demand, standing with him. Tension radiates from every line of his body and it puts me on edge instantly.
“Trouble at the gate.”
He moves to the doors of the common room and I follow on his heels, wondering what kind of trouble, all kinds of scenarios running through my head.
Rav’s already moving and I follow him, ready to protect him with my life if necessary.
As soon as we’re in the corridor, I pull my gun from the holster under my arm and move behind Rav. He doesn’t look back, trusting me to follow, trusting me to have his back, which I’ll always do—to my last breath, and not just because he’s my friend, but because I’m loyal.
When we get outside, I see Kyle at the gate, his gun raised at two men standing on the other side. They don’t seem fucking fazed about having a gun in their face and as soon as Rav and I approach, they’re looking down the barrel of another—mine. The mid-afternoon sunshine glints off the metal, creating a kaleidoscope of colours. I keep my gaze split between him and the man I’m aimed at.
Rav doesn’t pull his weapon out, just moves to the chain link fence, his arms folding over his broad chest as he stares down this new enemy.
I recognise one of the men instantly by the scar on his face—it’s fucking Leon Gregory, Isaac Blackwood’s lackey that I’ve been chasing all over fucking town for the past few days. I guess we should have thought these fuckers would eventually come to us, declare their intentions and tell us why they’re breaking years of peace, but I didn’t expect it.
The other man with him must be Elijah Elliot. He’s shorter than Leon, his face unmarred. Both men are shaved clean, their heads too and are wearing suits beneath heavy wool coats that reach mid-thigh. They look bored as we approach, which I know will piss Rav off.
“You come to my territory without an invitation?” Rav growls. “You got a death wish?”
Leon raises heavy eyes to him. His greying eyebrows need a fucking trim. “You have something of Isaac Blackwood’s. He wants it back.”
My temper frays at his words.
“The fuck?” I snap. “We ain’t got shit that belongs to Blackwood, so get the fuck out of our town or you’ll be leaving it in a body bag.”
It’s a good thing the fence separates us, because I want to gut both men for this blatant show of disrespect. Rav’s right. You don’t come into our house without an invitation.
I keep my gun levelled at Leon while Kyle keeps his trained on Elijah.
“Natasha. You have her. Give her to us and we’ll leave. Refuse, and we’ll bring down hell on your little leather wearing dominatrix club.”
The disrespect has my mouth pulling into a snarl even as my mind tries to work out what the fuck he is talking about. Who the fuck is Natasha?
Rav growls under his breath and slams a fist against the fence. It rattles, the metal vibrating angrily as it does. “You come here and fucking threaten me? You looking to die? Don’t know no fucking Natasha and if you don’t get off my property, you’re going to be eating lead.”
Leon doesn’t back down. Clearly, he’s a fucking lunatic. A threat like that from Rav would usually be enough to send someone running.
“We know she’s here, that she’s seeking sanctuary with you. I have to tell you, Mr Blackwood isn’t going to look on this interference favourably,” Elijah says. His voice is like gravel. He’s a man who clearly has smoked too much over the years.
“Don’t know no Natasha,” Rav repeats.
The only person we have in the clubhouse is Lucy and she has fuck all to do with Isaac Blackwood… right? Titch’s words dance across my mind and I ruthlessly push them down. This isn’t the time for doubts.
“Who is Natasha?” I demand.
Leon’s eyes come to mine and that creepy fucker smiles, his scar making him look macabre.
“Someone important to Mr Blackwood.”
“Important how?” I press, needing more information. An uneasy feeling is starting to swirl in my gut.
Leon doesn’t answer my question, so I add, “Why do you think we have her?”
“She was seen coming here.”
Suspicion crawls through my mind, and I don’t like that it’s there. The only person who has come here in the past few days is Lucy.
Is Lucy who they saw?
Why would they think she’s this woman?
She isn’t Natasha.
She can’t be.
Right?
Something starts to leak into my veins, spreading through me like wildfire.
Sasha would know. After years of living with her, she’d know if Lucy was a fraud. My gun shakes a little as my hands tremble and I have to lock my arms to stay steady.
“Seen b
y who?” Rav snarls out, clenching his fists at his side.
“That’s not important,” Leon says calmly. “Are you bringing her out or not?”
“Since we don’t have any bitches here called Natasha, not.”
Leon glances at Elijah and something unspoken passes between them. “You leave us no choice. We’ll be back with more men.”
“You come back here, I’ll put a bullet in your head myself.” I can see Rav is barely holding onto his temper, ready to go nuclear.
I feel the same.
These cunts coming into our world and throwing their weight around is a disrespect too far. I sense movement behind me and risk a glance over my shoulder when I hear a shotgun cock. My brothers are standing behind us, aiming weapons at Blackwood’s men. Daimon meets my eyes and I nod at him, telling him without words to be ready.
Leon and Elijah don’t even react to the show of force, as if being surrounded by guns is an everyday occurrence. Maybe it is. Isaac Blackwood has a reputation for being a Grade A psychopath.
“We’ll be back,” Leon pats Elijah in the chest to get him moving and the two men stride away.
No one moves, guns still trained on them until they get in their car and drive out of sight.
“Fuck!” Rav snaps, smashing a hand against the fence. It rattles violently beneath the blow.
“The fuck was that about?” Daimon asks, his gun disappearing down the back of his jeans as he approaches.
I holster my own gun, my mind racing as I push around Rav and Kyle and stride back into the clubhouse. Rage is sitting on the edge of my awareness and my thoughts are a whirlpool of activity. I don’t want to be right, but a sinking suspicion is settling in my gut.
I rush into the clubhouse, my heart galloping in my chest. I take the steps to the first floor two at a time, my chest heaving by the time I reach her room. I don’t even bother to knock, reaching for the handle, but I’m surprised when it opens. She didn’t lock it.