Super G

by Pepper Pace

  Nicco called him while they were driving back to the ship.

  “What does he want now?” Gio muttered.

  “Who is it?” Sidney asked curiously. They had been listening to the radio and she reached to turn it down.

  “The head Superior Genie.” He quickly answered. “Yes, Nicco?”

  “You haven’t sent your order down for your guest’s dinner. Where are you?”

  “We’re heading back now. I’ll call you in a few moments.” He disconnected the call.

  “He wants to know what you want to do for dinner.”

  “What time is it now?” She asked.

  He checked his watch. “It’s just after six.” They had stayed too long in Marseilles, but he had no worries about arriving before departure. The ship wouldn’t set sail until seven and they were nearly at the pier. He hesitated before glancing at her. “Dinner in the VIP lounge would put you in contact with your ex. I believe that he is not finished talking to you.” He wasn’t finished with her at all.

  She looked at him. “I’m going to talk to him. I don’t plan to avoid him for the rest of this trip. That’s not fair to me. You were right. If anyone is leaving it will be him, not me.”

  He smiled in pride. He began running down the menu options for tonight’s dinner from memory, but she stopped him.

  “I’ll just take the chef’s recommendation.”

  He called Nicco and gave him the dinner order. “And please be sure to add sparkling water and peach nectar. Nicco, there is a case of it in the galley—and it’s just for my guest so, no. Okay.” He disconnected.

  “Nicco,” she began. “Is that the tall blonde?”

  “Yes. How did you know?”

  “There’s just something about him. He has this superior attitude.”

  “That would be about right,” he confirmed.

  He left Sidney at her front door, promising to see her in the dining hall at eight.

  “Did you want me to stick around just in case…?”

  “No. Don’t worry about me. I’m not going to let Wes in here. I’ll go to his room.” She pointed down the corridor. “You said it’s just over there, right?”

  He sighed. “Yes. And I’m just a phone call away.”

  She leaned up and kissed him. “I’ll see you after, okay?”

  He nodded. “Okay.” He sighed and kissed her again before retreating. He had no reason to worry. She was a capable woman who had been living her life without him prior to the last three days just fine.

  As he headed to the elevator, Gio decided to call Paolo.

  “What are you doing?” He asked his friend.

  “Hey brother. I just finished working out. What are you up to?”

  “I just got back on the ship-”

  “Oh? And how did you find the apartment?”

  Gio shook his head. “Stop fishing for information…but thank you. I put everything back in order.”

  Paolo chuckled. “I’m sure you did. So, what can I help you with?”

  “Well my guest decided that she wants to talk to her ex.”

  “Shit, really? When?”

  “In a few minutes, I think. Look I’m a little worried. He put his hands on her the last time, but she wants to do this on her own. Honestly, I think she’s embarrassed for me to be there, to hear what he has to say.”

  “Enough said,” Paolo spoke hurriedly. “I’ll head up immediately. Don’t worry.”

  “Thanks, Paolo,” Gio said in relief.

  Sidney showered but wished that she were luxuriating in the Jacuzzi bath, sudsing herself with the soap that Gio had bought her. She wanted to relax and think about him but there was no time if she was going to deal with a situation that she thought had already been handled.

  You don’t get nothing for free, she mused as she applied gel oil to her body. No matter how much of a hurry she was in, this was a step that she could never miss. Ashy skin on her couldn’t be missed.

  She dressed in jeans and a shirt because she didn’t want Wes thinking that she wanted to look good for him. She held her hair back with a colorful scarf and then took a deep breath.

  “I need you to understand that we are through, Wesley,” she practiced to herself. “I appreciate the vacation but if I had known that it came with strings then I would never have accepted it.” She nodded. Yeah, that was good, and it was the truth. Her gut instinct had been to turn down the offer. But Sheena had once again made her feel stupid for turning down easy money. It was just like when Sidney had taken off the engagement ring and left it on the kitchen counter when she’d packed the last of her things. Sheena had wanted to go back for it. ‘Girl you could pawn that! It’s worth a grip!’ It wasn’t even completely paid for. He would have probably forced her to finish the payments. However, that wasn’t the reason she’d returned it. It wasn’t the reason at all.

  She left the suite and walked with purpose to Wesley’s place. It was on the opposite end of the corridor. The long walk allowed her to recall the hurt and sleepless nights that she’d endured being tortured by images of Wesley, Tenesha and their baby—the family that was supposed to be hers. She knocked firmly fired up to end this for once and for all.

  A few short moments later, he opened the door, and paused in surprise when he saw her.

  “Sidney.” He looked like he was in the middle of getting dressed for a nice dinner. His button-up shirt was untucked and even though he wore nice, dark slacks he wasn’t wearing shoes or socks.

  “I think we need to talk,” she said.

  “Yeah, come in.” He opened the door for her, and she entered the suite that would have been hers if Wes hadn’t upgraded her to the penthouse. It was very nice, but of course much smaller. The décor was more modern than hers with snazzy paintings and art pieces on mantles.

  “I’m happy you came,” he said. “I’m sorry about yesterday—I didn’t mean to…I shouldn’t have done that during dinner. I’ve just been so anxious to see you.”

  She shook her head. “Why? We’re over, Wes.”

  He nodded. “I understand. But I handled everything so wrong. I’ve said that I’m sorry, but I never truly apologized to you, Sid. What I did was so fucked up. But how I handled it was even worse.”

  She crossed her arms defensively in front of her. She’d wanted him to acknowledge that. She didn’t realize how important it was for someone to get it. His money and status didn’t supersede her value.

  She looked at him again. “Thank you for that.”

  He gestured to a pure white couch. “Can we sit and talk for a minute?” She hesitated. “Just a few minutes.” His eyes were hopeful.

  “Okay,” she said reluctantly. This meeting was about endings and even though being in the same room with him renewed her pain she wanted it all laid out on the table. No more stalking her so that he could get his last words.

  There was a quick knock on the door and then it opened. Paolo appeared accompanied by the maid who wheeled a cleaning cart. He spotted Wesley and Sidney sitting on the couch.

  “Oh hello Mr. Salinger. Madame. May I get you refreshments?”

  Wesley looked at Sidney to see if she wanted anything, but she shook her head.

  “No. Paolo, I won’t need you for now.”

  “Very good, sir. I will assist Maria in the master suite.” Paolo bowed slightly and then he and Maria disappeared down a corridor.

  Wesley smiled slightly. “How is it having a butler at your beck and call?”

  “Well, it takes some getting used to, but I have to admit that it’s nice.”

  He allowed his eyes to settle on her. “I’ve missed you so much, Sid-”

  “Wes-”

  “Not because I broke up with Tenesha,” he said hurriedly. “It was well before that. The moment you were out of my life I realized exactly what I’d lost.”

  She wanted to roll her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” She prepared to stand but Wesley quickly continued.

  “There’s a reason that I left you, Sid. It wasn�
�t just the baby. I didn’t even try to work it out with you.”

  That part was true. She stared at him waiting for him to get whatever lie that he needed to tell himself off his chest. He’d left because the grass was always greener. Only when you got into the other yard you realized that it wasn’t all that green, after all.

  He swallowed. “Sidney there’s something that I haven’t told you.”

  She watched him intently, her silent thought muted at his serious expression. Oh God, was he dying? Her heartbeat quickened. She hated him but she didn’t hate him.

  “Tenesha and I have a common interest. It’s not easy to admit. I didn’t hook up with her just because she was a pretty black woman. Just in case you didn’t know, I didn’t ask you to be my wife because of your looks. I love the way you look, Sidney. You are the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever known but your confidence and grace is what hooked me.”

  Sidney’s eyes began to sting, but she refused to show how deeply those words affected her.

  Wesley looked away. “I met Tenesha through a mutual friend. He owns a club up in Dayton that has an exclusive clientele…clientele that have specific sexual appetites.”

  “Jesus…are you talking about a whore house? Tenesha’s a prostitute?”

  He shook his head. “No. She is an attorney and it is just a club for members only. But it’s an S&M club.”

  She didn’t speak. After a few moments Wes continued. “You know what that is?”

  “S&M? Of course, I do—especially after Fifty Shades. Are you saying that you liked to be beaten, Wes?”

  He looked down and then met her eyes again. “No. I am the giver.”

  She leaned back against the couch in surprise. He was always aggressive sexually, willing to try new things and explore. But he’d never been physically violent with her. He’d never even spanked her and that might have been something that she was willing to explore.

  “You look surprised,” he said.

  “It’s not just a passing fancy, is it?”

  “No. It’s been a lifestyle—until you,” he replied.

  She shook her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you…?”

  “Why didn’t I invite you to be a part of my lifestyle? Because as much as I’ve found enjoyment in it, I even know that it’s not healthy. Tenesha and I together were not healthy. We pushed each other to places that we should have never gone. That’s why I ended that relationship the first time.”

  “What exactly is it that you and Tenesha do?” Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered if she would have allowed herself to be punished. Could she have accepted the paddle from him—back before his infidelity? Would she have tried it in order to save their relationship?

  Wesley stood and walked away slowly. “I want to be honest with you in all ways, because Sidney, I still want to be with you.”

  She shook her head adamantly. “That’s not going to happen, Wes. That’s not why I’m here-”

  He raised his hand to indicate that he understood. “I know that it’s not on the table…for now. You’d have to forgive me for being a liar and a cheat and forgiveness takes time.”

  She stood. Forget this. He was under some delusional bullshit right now.

  “Wait. You asked what my kink is—what our kink was.” He licked his lower lip like an alcoholic that could use a stiff drink. “I like to inflict degradation and punishment.”

  She just stared at him. This went beyond Fifty Shades. And then Sidney suddenly realized something. He only liked black women. A white man that liked to degrade black women…

  The air felt like it was being slammed out of her body, as if she’d been pushed off the top of a tall building only to be slammed to the ground.

  “No,” he said quickly while shaking his head. “It’s not like that. I don’t desire to role-play about ‘making America great again,’ he said bitterly while making air quotes.

  She didn’t know what to think or what to say. Finally she got her thoughts together.

  “Then what is it that you do?”

  He looked away, not wanting to go on but knew that it was the reason for this. “I thought that I would rather die than ever tell you any of this. It’s like that man that leads a secret existence but doesn’t bring it home.”

  “Like a serial killer that doesn’t kill his wife?” She asked with thinly veiled sarcasm.

  He looked embarrassed. “Yes, it’s like that. But I was thinking more like a man that sleeps around but loves his woman and family and would never put anyone above that.”

  She did roll her eyes at that. “Go on. You were about to say?”

  “I like to watch a woman crawl. Not you!” He added quickly. “I don’t want you to crawl for me.” Her brow just perked up as if to say that it was given that it wouldn’t happen. “I like to put her on leash and inflict light pain. I like using ropes, strangulation-”

  “Jesus…” she held up her hand to indicate that she’d had enough. He looked down in embarrassment.

  “It started to progress in the wrong direction with Tenesha. She liked being sexually dominated even though she is a dominant personality. Her submission to me is what turned me on. And then when you and I met, I realized that pleasure doesn’t only come from taking and hurting.” He stared at her. “You didn’t need to submit to me because I saw your love for me in the way that you took care of me, of us. I found pleasure in treating you like the queen that you are.”

  “Wesley, it’s easy to stand there and say all that now. The fact remains that you went back to her.”

  “There was more to it than that,” he said quickly. “I didn’t seek her out. I was perfectly happy with you and looking forward to our life together. It had been years since I’d last seen Tenesha and she called me one day out of the blue. She apologized for the way we ended things and wanted to have a quick drink. I never even imagined that I’d want to…open that door again.” Wes sighed and rubbed his hand through his hair.

  “She brought up the club. Neither of us had been there in years. And then after a few drinks…one thing led to another. And…it happened.” Wesley looked at her. “It didn’t end the first time. We went on for about a week but then she…kept trying to tell me how she was better for me than you. So, I ended it.” He didn’t speak so she did.

  “But she had planted a seed, didn’t she?”

  He nodded. “I had to ask myself if I could deny myself the release I get with Tenesha.” He looked at her quickly. “But she doesn’t give me the rest of what I need. I’ve learned because of you. I’ve learned that there are better things.”

  “But before you learned that…” she prompted.

  “She came to me and said that she was pregnant. Now, I know that she was already pregnant when she first approached me. It had been her plan all along to entice me into a sexual encounter and then trick me into marrying her.”

  “Again, with that word trick,” she muttered to herself.

  “Okay. You’re right. She convinced me to marry her. But I went along with it because I thought it was the right thing to do and I thought I needed that lifestyle with the person I marry. I was wrong”

  “But you still want that lifestyle.”

  “I don’t need it, though.”

  His non-answer was answer enough. “Thanks for explaining things to me. It helps me to understand better.”

  He nodded. “Do you think that you would have…explored that kinky side with me?”

  She tried not to shudder. Hell no! No one was going to put a leash around her throat and degrade her. She stood. “Well…we’ll never know.” She headed for the door, but he stopped her.

  “Sidney. I still love you. Maybe even more because I know exactly what I lost when I left. I want us to start again, but this time without the selfishness. I want to take care of you, shower you with gifts, and I’d show you every day of my life just how sorry I am for being stupid. I would never stray. I’ll turn my back on all that other stuff-”
<
br />   “Wesley,” she said gently. “If I still loved you, I might take you up on your offer. I don’t feel the same for you.” She moved around him, but he stopped her again.

  “But you could try. You loved me once-”

  Her eyes narrowed at him. “I’m going to do a favor for the next black woman that you meet—because there will be another. I’m going to show you that sorry is not always enough.”

  This time when she walked around him, he let her go.

  Chapter Twelve

  It was a little after eight thirty by the time Sidney made it to the VIP lounge for dinner.

  She saw Gio standing at attention along with other butlers. His eyes were trained on the entrance and the moment he saw her they swept across her body—seemingly to check for injury, then they settled on her face. When he saw her smile, he finally relaxed.

  He left the line of butlers and came to her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  “Yes. It went well.”

  He nodded and then held out his hand to gesture to her table. It was a two-seater but situated by a large picture window. Even though it was night, she could still see the lights strung outside and the peaceful ocean waters in the distance.

  “Thanks G,” she said when he pulled out her chair for her.

  He gave her a smile. “You’re welcome, Sidney.”

  She grinned. He’d called her Sidney in public. He opened her napkin and placed it on her lap.

  “You look beautiful tonight,” he said. She was wearing an off the shoulder ankle length dress.

  “Thanks.” He was close enough for her to inhale his aroma. He smelled fresh and she knew that he had recently showered since it wasn’t cologne that made him smell so good. She imagined what it would be like to run the soap all over his muscular body…

  “Wine?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Yes. I think I could use a drink.”

  He passed her the wine list but suggested the wine that was paired with the chef’s menu. She had no idea what dinner would be but figured that there was no way that she could be disappointed. The chef was the recipient of a Michelin star so she would agree with whatever he suggested.