Torn in Toronto

by Wendy May Andrews

  “Well, I did learn a great deal from my time with Dalton Industries, that is certainly true. And I do feel that has better equipped me to help with the charity behind the orphanage. But I will admit that your name stood out on the list of those who had not yet sent in their response, as I recognized it more so than some of the others.” She paused and Connor puzzled over her sheepish expression. “And I’m sorry to admit that I listened to some of the ladies gossiping about you. They felt that with the depth of your pockets, we needed to ensure you attended. So, here you are, and I felt duty bound to ask if you’d be coming.”

  Connor laughed, probably louder than was warranted, but he was just so relieved to be in her presence.

  “If I agree to attend, will you promise to dance with me?”

  He knew he had surprised her from the startled look in her eyes as they flew to briefly meet his before she quickly averted her gaze once more. There had been a wealth of emotions contained in that brief glance, but Connor hadn’t been able to interpret most of them. She was an expert at the social niceties, though, and he was suddenly frustrated by his excellent view of the top of her hat as she kept her face turned away from him but began to chatter inconsequential nonsense. With a trill of laugher, she gave him half an answer.

  “I’m not certain I’ll be available for dancing, Mr. Dalton. As I told you, I’m quite involved with the behind the scenes work. I’m sure to be terribly busy that evening. But, of course, I’d be happy to partner with you for a dance if I’m not too pressed that night.”

  ~~~

  Caitlyn tried to stop her nervous chatter, but she couldn’t seem to cease. She couldn’t figure out why Connor had called on her. Was he still concerned about the possibility of her telling his company’s secrets? Was he just being polite because of his friendship with Dylan? But he hadn’t even mentioned Dylan. Finally, Caitlyn knew she couldn’t stand another second of uncertainty, so she gave up on social etiquette.

  Stopping both her chatter and her forward movement, Caitlyn turned suddenly toward Connor, ignoring both the startled expression on his face and the fact that her mother would have fits if she knew Caitlyn was about to be slightly vulgar.

  “What do you actually want, Connor?”

  She was further confused by the widening smile on his face.

  “I’m sorry if I seem rude, and I know you’re friends with my brother, but we didn’t part on the best of terms, so I find myself very surprised by your suddenly sociable manner. It’s making me nervous. Could you please be a little more direct?”

  His firm grasp of her elbow as he gestured toward a bench nestled in the small park they were passing sent warm flutters to her midsection, which Caitlyn tried valiantly to ignore.

  “I’m glad you asked, Caitlyn. I was struggling to get to the point, wasn’t I?”

  Caitlyn blinked as her eyebrows rose. She no longer heard the chirping birds or the rattle of the streetcar wheels off in the distance. All her attention was focused on Connor as he sat down beside her on the bench. She could sense his contained energy as his leg bounced slightly before he turned more directly toward her and reached for her hand. The warm flutters within spread to fill her completely. Caitlyn was glad she was wearing gloves, as she was almost certain her palms had become damp.

  With her mouth growing dry, Caitlyn couldn’t speak, nor could she tear her gaze away from his.

  “Caitlyn,” he began.

  The deep timber of his voice saying her personal name thrilled her. She blinked away the moisture that wanted to gather at the corners of her eyes. Caitlyn chastised herself. There was no need to foolishly entertain any hopes even for the split of a second.

  Connor cleared his throat and began again. “Caitlyn, I’ve missed you terribly. I’m wretchedly sorry for the way we parted.”

  Her surprise turned to amusement. “Those are some rather exaggerated adverbs coming from you, Connor. You never speak like that.”

  Her amusement deepened as pink flooded his cheeks, but then she quickly sobered as his grip tightened on her hands.

  “I don’t deserve any kindnesses from you, Caitlyn, but please, pay attention.”

  She returned to silence while her widened eyes felt glued to his, as he seemed to search for words while searching her face.

  “I’m not sure how much you ever knew about my childhood,” he began.

  Caitlyn shrugged slightly as she frowned in confusion. “I know you went to school with Dylan. And you didn’t appreciate me trailing after you any more than he did.”

  “I guess I’ve always been beastly toward you, haven’t I?”

  She could read the depth of his regret in the directness of his gaze.

  “Not always, Connor. You were reasonably pleasant for a boy,” she said with a little laugh. “And then you gave me a job. That was lovely.”

  “While it lasted,” Connor said with a sigh. “Never mind about that. Clearly, you didn’t know since you were just a little girl, but I was poor. Very poor. So poor that there were days that the parts of his lunch that your brother shared with me was all that I had to eat that day.”

  “Oh no, Connor, I had no idea.” Suddenly, the tears Caitlyn was blinking away were for the small boy he had been. He squeezed her hands but tried to wave away her grief.

  “Your father actually helped me find a job that allowed me to stay in school and still make enough money to at least keep my mother, sister, and I fed. My father was usually too drunk to care about food when he wasn’t working. But the condition your father set was that I needed to keep studying. I’ll always be grateful to him.”

  “Me, too, Connor. I had no idea. I suppose I ought to be more appreciative of my father.”

  Connor laughed. “It’s the prerogative of youth to take their parents for granted, I think.” He released her hand momentarily to wave off her next interruption. “I don’t need your sympathy, Caitlyn, I’m just trying to explain why I’m so driven to succeed. I never want to ever be hungry again.”

  Caitlyn nodded, but knew she was still frowning in confusion. She was grateful that it seemed his explanation was to continue even though he was no longer holding her gaze.

  “I have always admired you. Even when you were an annoying little shadow, you were so pretty. And your determination to keep up with us was admirable, even when we were trying to get away from you.” When his eyes flicked back to meet her gaze, Caitlyn was shocked to see the warm admiration reflected there. “When I returned from my apprenticeship in Europe, I was surprised to see you had turned into a beautiful young woman before I had even realized it. Before I was ready.”

  “What do you mean, Connor? Did you forget that time passes?” Caitlyn tried to relieve the tension that was filling her with a bit of laughter, but it didn’t work.

  “I suppose so. You see, I wanted you to be mine, Caitlyn. But I wasn’t ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel ready.”

  Caitlyn’s heart soared but then stuttered. “What do you mean by ready, Connor?”

  When he brought his gaze back and finally kept it on hers, Caitlyn could see that there was pain reflected amongst the admiration she could discern. Her heart turned over, and she squeezed his hands that she was still grasping, ignoring the fact that her mother would be scandalized if she were to see them.

  “I don’t know if I’ll ever feel worthy of you, Caitlyn. I’ll always be that hungry little boy who most wouldn’t consider good enough for their children to play with. Even your mother tried to prevent Dylan from being my friend, but your father wouldn’t allow her. But I don’t blame her. She probably feared what my father’s influence might have caused.” He paused and Caitlyn held her breath, anxious to hear more.

  “I was determined to have more money than any of them,” Connor added in a low tone.

  “Any of whom?”

  “Everyone who had looked down at me when I was a boy. I had vowed to myself that I would never be hungry again, and I would make certain that no child of mine would ever experien
ce what I did.”

  Caitlyn was still confused, but she nodded anyway. “Is Dalton Industries struggling?”

  Suddenly his face cleared, and his grin made her stomach clench with desire. “Not at all. I’ve been far more successful than I had even dreamed. But I have realized that I’ll always be chasing more. That’s part of why I allowed you to leave. I don’t know if I’ll ever think I’m enough for you, Caitlyn. But I want to be. I will be. If you’ll have me.”

  Suddenly Caitlyn could barely breathe, and she could no longer feel her fingers, but she wasn’t sure if that was the tightness of his grip or the lightheaded feeling that threatened her. She ignored both and concentrated on his handsome face.

  “I don’t understand, Connor. I would never think less of you just because you had an unfortunate childhood.”

  “I know, which is just one of the many things I love about you.”

  He must have sensed her continued confusion. Connor stood and pulled her up beside him, turning so they were completely facing each other.

  “I love you,” he repeated firmly. “Caitlyn, will you have me?”

  “Have you for what, Connor? You know my family has always loved you, too. Even my mother,” she added with a nervous laugh.

  “That’s not the kind of love I’m talking about, Caitlyn. I know you’re a bright girl so I can’t decide if you’re trying to let me down gently or if you just don’t get what I’m saying.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I’m in love with you, Caitlyn. I want to marry you. I want you to tell me your opinions of my business deals and I want you to bear my children. Will you have me?” When she opened her mouth, he quickly added, “Will you have me as your husband?”

  Suddenly, tears were leaking down Caitlyn’s cheeks, and she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. Throwing herself into his warm, strong arms, Caitlyn whispered her answer.

  “Yes, please.” She could feel the rumble of his laughter as he enfolded her against his chest. She had finally found the future she hadn’t thought to hope for.

  Epilogue

  Rafe Westridge frowned at his newspaper. He read the papers every day and was determined to find success in this brand new country. As the third son, he would never inherit the earldom, but he was still filled with the pride of being of the house of Sutcliffe. And he was going to live up to that pride if it was the last thing he'd do. It was unfortunate that things hadn't worked out in Toronto, but he would make sure they did so here in Winnipeg. It was an even newer city than Toronto. Getting in at the beginning was going to work out for him quite well, he was sure.

  He found wry amusement from The Lovelorn article and read it each time it appeared. He had actually considered writing a letter of his own but knew his father would wither him for so lowering himself. But there had been several that had felt almost providential to him upon occasion. Perhaps, he was overly involved in his own affairs to think they applied to himself. There was the one several weeks ago that he had thought might have been written by Caitlyn Doherty about her mother’s ambitions toward Rafe. But he doubted the girl would have been so bold.

  But today he wasn’t finding much to amuse him. Thoughts of Caitlyn must have conjured her. It would seem his rival, Connor Dalton, was besting him even from afar. Their engagement announcement had made the national papers.

  Rafe reminded himself that he had decided the beautiful colonial girl was too headstrong and opinionated for him. If Dalton wanted her, he ought to be happy for the couple and wish them well. His lips twitched in amusement as he read the announcement.

  Mr. and Mrs. Doherty of Gloucester Street are pleased to announce the engagement of their daughter Caitlyn to Mr. Connor Dalton of Dalhousie Street. The date of the nuptials is to follow shortly.

  Rafe wondered if Mrs. Doherty truly was pleased. While she had been eager to see her daughter wed, she had made no secret of the fact that she wanted the girl to marry someone she considered wellborn. While Dalton was ridiculously wealthy, Rafe doubted the proud older woman would think that sufficient to cover his lowly background. Dalton was lucky, Rafe mused, that the New World ignored such things for the most part. As Dalton himself had said, it mattered less here who your father was.

  Thinking again about the pretty young woman, Rafe had a moment of regret before he made himself think positive thoughts for the couple. They were a handsome pair and he wished them every happiness.

  Rafe was determined to cultivate a positive outlook and achieve the goals he had set for himself. It was ridiculous to think he was lonely. Those are female thoughts, he reminded himself. There was plenty to do to fill his days, that was for certain.

  If he wanted a future like Connor and Caitlyn were sure to have, he could work hard and get it for himself. Perhaps he would even write to The Lovelorn column, he thought to himself with a small smile.

  The End

  About the Author

  I learned to read when I was four or five, listening to my mother read to me when I was lonely after my brother started school. Ever since, I’ve had my head buried in books. I love words – historical plaques, signs, the cereal box – but my first love has always been novels.

  About ten years ago my husband dared me to write a book instead of always reading them. I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but to my surprise I love writing. Those early efforts eventually became my first published book – Tempting the Earl (published by Avalon Books in 2010). It has been a thrilling adventure as I learned to navigate the world of publishing.

  I believe firmly that everyone deserves a happily ever after. I want my readers to be able to escape from the everyday for a little while and feel upbeat and refreshed when they get to the end of my books.

  When not reading or writing, I can be found traipsing around my neighborhood or travelling the world with my favorite companion.

  Stay in touch:

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  Other books by Wendy May Andrews you will enjoy:

  Another American Historical, read:

  Book 1 in the Orphan Train series:

  Sophie

  She’d happily give him her heart … if only it wouldn’t cost her the only home she’s known

  Sophie Brooks thought she had everything she could want in life. Friends, loved ones at the orphanage where she was raised, a job that gives her purpose, and a chance to help children every day … what more could she need? But a chance encounter with a handsome stranger has her wondering if a life—and love—outside the orphanage might be exactly what she never knew she needed.

  Renton Robert Rexford III has never wanted for anything. Until he meets Sophie. The charming, intelligent beauty draws him like no other. But, thanks to a disapproving benefactor who threatens to pull the orphanage’s funding, his pursuit of her could cost Sophie everything she holds dear. She’s all he wants in the world, but how can he ask her to give up so much when all she’d get in return is his heart?

  It’s not long before Sophie is forced to weigh her loyalty to the only home she’s ever known against the needs of her heart.

  Can love prevail—or is the cost simply too high?

  Available now on Amazon

  If you like Regency Romance, read

  Inheriting Trouble

  Book 1 in the Bequest Series

  The inheritance was meant to better her life,

  not muddle it.

  Georgia Holton, wellborn but nearly penniless, is best friends with one of the Earl of Sherton’s five daughters. When she is invited to accompany her friend for two weeks of the Season, Georgia jumps at the opportunity to have a little adventure away from her small village.

  The Earl of Crossley is handsome, wealthy, widowed, and jaded. He has no intention of courting any of this Season’s debutantes. After all, every woman he’s ever known has been dishonest, including his late wife. But when a chance encounter throws him into contact with the Sherton ladies and their lovely friend, he can’t help being drawn to Georg
ia’s beauty and endearing personality.

  When confusion about Georgia’s small inheritance becomes known, a sense of obligation to right a wrong forces the earl and Georgia into close association.

  But is she really different from any of the other women, or does she have an ulterior motive?

  And can Georgia even consider getting close to a man from High Society, when all she wants is to return to her simple village life?

  Sparks fly between these two, but it will take forgiveness and understanding on both their parts to reach a happily ever after.

  Available now on Amazon

  If you like Regencies with a touch of adventure, you will love

  the Mayfair Mayhem series.

  Book 1 is:

  The Duke Conspiracy

  Anything is possible with a spying debutante,

  a duke, and a conspiracy.

  Growing up, Rose and Alex were the best of friends until their families became embroiled in a feud. Now, the Season is throwing them into each other’s company. Despite the spark of attraction they might feel for one another, they each want very different things in life, besides needing to support their own family’s side in the dispute.

  Miss Rosamund Smythe is finding the Season to be a dead bore after spying with her father, a baron diplomat, in Vienna. She wants more out of life than just being some nobleman’s wife. When she overhears a plot to entrap Alex into a marriage of convenience, her intrigue and some last vestige of loyalty causes them to overcome the feud.

  His Grace, Alexander Milton, the Duke of Wrentham, wants a quiet life with a “proper” wife after his tumultuous childhood. His parents had fought viciously, lied often, and Alex had hated it all.