So Then There Were None
Page 1
So Then There Were None
a Tale of Ten Little Bridesmaids
Annie Adams
Contents
Ten Little Bridesmaids Poem
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Epilogue
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Cheat Sheet for the Reader
About the Author
Ten Little Bridesmaids Poem
Dedicated to Dame Agatha
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Ten Little Bridesmaids all stood in a line;
One drank herself silly, and then there were nine.
Nine Little Bridesmaids went searching for mates;
One took a wrong turn and then there were eight.
Eight Little Bridesmaids searched for signals from heaven;
One looked too long and now there are seven.
Seven Little Bridesmaids puffed on cigarette sticks;
One’s camp caught fire and now there are six.
Six Little Bridesmaids kicked a beehive;
One got stung and now there are five.
Five Little Bridesmaids went shopping at the store;
One bought some lipstick and now there are four.
Four Little Bridesmaids traveled across the sea;
One ate some cake and now there are three.
Three Little Bridesmaids went chasing kittens through the dew;
One never came back and then there were two.
Two Little Bridesmaids left to tally their sums;
One turned green with envy and then there was one.
One Little Bridesmaid left on her own;
This broke her heart, so then there were none.
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Chapter One
“I just don’t know what I could have done to offend you so badly,” my mother moaned into the phone. I wouldn’t call it wailing this time. It lacked a certain volume and intensity. No, today it was just every day, run of the mill guilt trip.
But, I wasn’t going to take the bait this time. I didn’t have time to take the bait. Things were never going to change between the two of us if I continued to take the bait she had a habit of dangling in front of me from her passive aggressive fishing pole.
“What are you talking about? I haven’t been offended. Why would you say that?” I thunked the side of my head with my palm. I’d just taken the bait. And speaking of bait, what was that smell emanating from the back room of my flower shop? I covered the bottom of the phone receiver with my hand.
“What is that?” I mouthed, as I tried to make eye contact with my younger sister, Allie through toxic-gas-induced tears.
She held her nose as she rushed to the back of the flower shop, presumably to prop open the door.
My mother continued, which was a good thing—in a way. It meant she hadn’t realized I’d momentarily stopped paying attention. “You’re going out of town and leaving your dog with a stranger. Why would you impose on someone you hardly know, when you have family right around the corner you could leave him with?”
“I…” I had to let out a sigh before I could go on. A twitch started above my left eyebrow. My mother’s timing was spot-on, as usual. She knew the worst possible moments to call and honed in on them with the precision of a surgeon.
“You get agitated every time I bring Jerome over.”
“Oh, I do not. You’re exaggerating. I just notice that he sheds occasionally. Is it so horrible that I want my house to be somewhat presentable? And besides, your father loves to see him.”
That was true. As for the shedding, I’m not going to deny that my Newfoundland, Jerome has very long, beautiful fur. He also slobbers. A lot. My mother has been known to greet us at the door with her best friend, Mr. Vacuum, in tow.
Jerome is terrified by the vacuum and coincidentally, the times we are greeted at the door by the horrible monster, are the very same times that Jerome has managed to get mud on his paws. He quickly distributes that mud all over my mother’s light colored carpet in the form of large paw prints as he runs to the furthest reaches of the house in order to get away from his nemesis.
So despite my mother’s feigned disappointment, I knew I’d made the right decision not to ask my parents to dog-sit while Alex and I went away for a weekend. And the weekend couldn’t start until I delivered flowers for an out-of-town wedding, where I would join my fiancé. But, the flower delivery might have to be delayed if the source of the smell turned out to be something nefarious, which could be a definite possibility in our old building.
I soldiered on with my mother, and decided to use some of her own techniques against her.
“Well you know that K.C. is more than just an employee. And Fred is still feeling traumatized over the injuries he received a few months ago…” Fred is married to my delivery driver, K.C. She was tapping her toes at the front of the shop, waiting for me to get off the phone so we could start on the long journey to deliver our wedding flowers.
“That happened months ago. He’s still not feeling well?” Ha! Now she was taking the bait from me.
“Physically, he’s fine. But…emotionally… It’s just best for him to have someone with him. And K.C. is coming with me, so Jerome will stay with Fred.”
“But I thought you were going somewhere with Alex. Staying overnight. In the same room.” Oh, crotchet. I wished we were still embroiled in the dog argument.
“We’re all going to the same place. K.C. is helping me deliver the flowers and then coming home. Alex is already there. I’ll come home with him.”
“Quincy, what are people going to think?”
I wasn’t taking this bait. “About the flowers? I hope they think they’re wonderful. Oh, you’ve got the van running, K.C.?” K.C. had gone outside and was sweeping the walk in front of the store, not even looking my way. “Okay, I’ll be right there. Sorry, Mom. K.C. is ready to leave. Say hi to Dad for me. I love you both.”
My very conservative Mormon mother had finally warmed up to my fiancé, but she did not approve of—well she didn’t approve of many things. Sex before marriage was one of those things.
Alex and I? We approved. As often as we could, which had dw
indled down to not very often due to our work schedules. Mostly his. We hardly even saw each other, let alone saw each other.
He’s an officer with our state police. They patrol the highways, investigate crimes and protect the governor as bodyguards. In an attempt to move up in the ranks, Alex has had less free time to spend with me. Which I’m not complaining about, I’m very proud of him. It just made the prospect of going out of town with him even more exciting.
Unfortunately, there were strings attached to our romantic getaway. Very long and tangly strings as it turned out. And because I, Quincy McKay, might be the biggest push-over the world has ever known, I agreed to the entanglement without much question.
I mean, who in their right-mind agrees to be a bridesmaid at a wedding where they don’t know anyone? The bride and groom? I’d never met them. My fellow bridesmaids? No clue.
I’d been so thrilled to hear from Alex at the end of his night shift—and it was no small feat to speak coherently at that time of the morning—I’d agreed not only to be a bridesmaid to strangers, but I was also providing the wedding flowers. Well, some of them.
My shop is called Rosie’s Posies. I took over running it when my Aunt Rosie decided to travel the world. I didn’t ever think my duties as the florist would extend to being a bridesmaid, although florists are often called upon for many things that don’t really seem to have anything to do with flowers.
I barely knew the other florist. Yes, there were two of us. And did I mention the part about it being a themed wedding? I could quite possibly be dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West or Scarlett O’Hara for all I knew. With my luck though, I would probably be relegated to one of the flying monkeys.
And none of this would have happened if it wasn’t for me being a big, fat, push-over when it comes to one person.
My fiancé.
It wasn’t quite accurate when I said I wouldn’t know anyone in the wedding party. I knew just one very important person. And I would be willing to do just about anything he would ever ask of me, which is a pretty big deal given my past. But we’ve learned to trust each other and that’s very important to me. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s the hottest cop around and that he’s funny and charming and—well, I could blather on for days. The point is, that when he asked if I could do a favor to help out one of his old police academy buddies and himself, how could I say no? Why would I even want to say no?
I should have said no.
Every wedding, whether large or small gives me great anxiety right up until the final rice or flower petals or whatever the latest trendy thing is thrown. The ever-present need to have everything perfect for a wedding, and the stress that comes with it is multiplied according to the size of the flower order. And this particular wedding order was big. Being a stranger to the bride and groom notwithstanding, there were added complications which created another level of pressure to get things absolutely perfect.
Weddings require the florist to perform a complicated dance, deftly tiptoeing—or stomping—depending upon the need, ordering flowers from exotic locals only to find they’ve been waylaid somewhere like Cheyenne, of all places. And that’s just for the simple weddings in town that only require a few bouquets and boutonnieres. But this wedding would require I learn new dance steps altogether.
K.C. and I were finally on our way to the Harmony Lodge after Allie promised me she would call if there was any delay with the repairs to the sewer system. Before I could leave the shop, I had to get a hold of the landlady, who doesn’t carry a cell phone. She finally called back and said she would send someone soon.
Allie and Daphne would be without a toilet until the problem was fixed, but when our neighbors at the salon next door graciously offered to let them use their facilities, I felt like I could leave.
The Harmony Lodge is a mansion harkening back to the size and grandeur of lodges like those at Yosemite and Yellowstone, but designed with more romantic sensibilities, like an English manor house. The Harmony would be the perfect background for a most unconventional wedding. This wedding wasn’t like most, not just because of the theme, or that I was one of two florists, but I would also be one of ten bridesmaids.
As we got settled in the delivery van, K.C. turned to look at me from the passenger seat. The front lock of her hair style du jour obscured her eyes. Her blond page boy cut was very traditional compared to her usual look.
“Tell me again. What’s the deal with this other florist? And we’ve got a two hour drive ahead of us, so you can fill me in on the whole story. Spare no detail. And by the way, take a look at the gas gauge. I had to leave the old gal here running while you were dealing with the sewer phone calls. I didn’t dare turn off the A/C on account of the flowers.”
I took a look at the dash and groaned. “I guess we’re on our way to the gas station first.”
K.C. slapped her palms down on the dash. “You know what that means don’t ya?”
After I caught my breath and took my foot off the brake I replied, “Besides that we need fuel, I don’t know what that means.”
“It means we’ll pass by Bulgy Burger. I sure could use a Buckle Buster Breakfast Burrito. How about you?”
The burrito was aptly named. Yet completely irresistible. And this early in the morning, my arch enemy, the drive thru operator wasn’t likely to be there to judge my choice in vessels for caloric intake.
With Zombie Sue’s gas tank fed to full and Buckle Busters in hand, we finally drove out of Hillside.
“So,” K.C. said through a gob of hashbrown, bacon, egg, bell pepper and onion, “you were going to tell me about the other florist.”
After I finished chewing I told her, “The event florals at the Harmony Lodge are contracted out to a company called Ivy and Stone. I kind of know the owner, her name is London.”
“If London does all the flowers at this Lodge, why do we have a van full of wedding flowers?” K.C. had donned her cat-eye reading glasses to go over the delivery checklist one more time. Her eyes were magnified to about triple their actual size when she looked at me. I couldn’t help but smile, the frames of the glasses looked like a cat peering into a fish tank and I had the same view as the fish.
“Alex and the groom go way back. When Mike called Alex to ask him to be a groomsman, he found out Alex and I were engaged. They talked for a while and when he found out that I’m a florist, he insisted I do the flowers. Then he spoke to his fiancé, who said she would love to have me do the flowers, but that she’d already booked her dream wedding destination, the Harmony Lodge.” I paused to take a dramatic breath, just to tease K.C.
“Well? What happened next?” she said impatiently.
“I got a call from London. She said she would be happy to share the responsibilities for the wedding florals. We coordinated with the bride and all is well.”
"Phew, dodged a bullet there. Nothing would be worse than horning in on another florist's territory. But tell me why you're a bridesmaid."
"I have no good answer for that question. Alex is a groomsman, therefore I'm a bridesmaid. They wanted it evenly matched, I guess."
“You’ll make a lovely pair at this wedding. But you know whose wedding I’d really like to see?”
I felt an involuntary grimace distort my face. I knew what was coming.
“You’d make a beautiful bride, you know.”
“We’re engaged,” I said more defensively than I’d meant to.
“And…”
“We’ll set a date—soon—I’m sure. We just—haven’t been able to get our schedules to sync.” That seemed like a legitimate reason, didn’t it?
“Don’t let this one get away from you. He’s a keeper. From what you’ve told me, and from what I’ve seen, he’s nothing like your last one.”
She was right. But it was that last one that was keeping me from jumping right in to another marriage. I wanted to do it right this time.
“Ah well,” K.C. said, “I don’t mean to be a nag. I’m just happy for the two of you. And
I love weddings. This one tonight sounds like it’s going to be a shindig to remember.”
I took the freeway exit into downtown Salt Lake City. We would go through Emigration Canyon and link to East Canyon on I-80 toward Park City.
"I've never heard of this place before. Where exactly are we headed?" K.C. asked.
"The Harmony Lodge. It’s in the middle of a lake, past East Canyon resort."
"How do you get to the building if it's in the middle of a lake?"
"Hang on." A semi-truck didn't want to merge politely so I had to maneuver on a dangerous curve to avoid us being squashed.
"Geez! The nerve of some people." K.C. lifted her middle finger just as I built enough speed to pass the semi, once we were back to two lanes.
"Um, K.C..."
"Yeah, Boss?"
"You do remember our phone number and shop name are painted all over on the outside of this van?"
"Ooh, boy. I'm sorry, I just have this temper when it comes to people like that. So what about the lodge?"
I decided to shrug off the emerging thoughts of annoyance after she lifted that finger. It was part of the new me. I wasn’t going to hold on to grudges anymore.