So Then There Were None

by Annie Adams

  After we danced, we enjoyed watching K.C. Red beads flying, limbs akimbo, and lots of things shimmying and shaking. She put on a show to remember.

  “I think I’m going to head upstairs,” I told Alex. The strong, sweet, scent of my gardenia corsage was getting to me. And I’d been up since four that morning. I was barely awake, which didn’t bode well for the romantic evening we’d both anticipated.

  I looked for Christie and Mike to give them my thanks and well wishes for their travels but couldn’t locate them. I did see Pam at the dessert buffet and assumed she would know where to look.

  “Hey, Pam, I guess I’m going to head upstairs. It’s been an incredible day. So beautiful.”

  “Oh you can’t go!”

  “Um, why?”

  “You can’t miss the cake cutting.”

  “I…”

  “There’s a special ceremony for the bridesmaids.”

  What next? I’d heard of a lot of different wedding traditions, but it seemed this co-maid of honor had tried to cram every tradition ever invented into this one wedding.

  I agreed to meet back with Pam and the other bridesmaids in twenty minutes. Until then, I would go upstairs to the room and try to find some painkillers. I had a headache and my feet ached. I never wore heels, generally speaking. My arches throbbed and my Achilles tendons were on fire.

  I heard the swish of dangling beads clicking against each other as I entered the hall outside the reception room. "Where ya headed to, Boss?"

  "Just running upstairs for some pain pills."

  "Mind if I join you? I've got a hole in my fishnets. Must’ve happened when I rolled them down under my knee caps. Ha! I've got another pair of stockings in my bag upstairs."

  "Sure, let's go. To tell you the truth, I'd really rather just stay up there and put my feet up, but Pam says there's some kind of bridesmaid ceremony we've got to do. I didn't realize there were so many traditions for weddings."

  "Oh, I know. But I was talking to Eva and this one actually sounds kind of fun. The cake decorator has placed little charms like you would get on a charm bracelet, inside the cake. They're attached to a ribbon. Each bridesmaid pulls on a ribbon all at the same time as the other girls, and the charm she pulls out is for good luck. It's a gift from the bride to the bridesmaids, generally, but Eva tells me that she delegated the task of finding the charms to Pam. Christie had delegated the job to Eva, but she felt bad when Pam acted as if she was being shut out."

  "You seem to know a lot about the people here. Are you sure you didn't know anyone before you came?"

  "Only you and my future third husband. I just seem to have a knack."

  "A knack for what, exactly?" I said.

  "For being a trusted friend. I just tell people, ‘Tell your good pal, K.C. all about it. That's right, just let it all out. There, there,’ and for some reason they do." She looked down demurely.

  "Of course, I would never tell anyone's secrets…"

  "What secrets could you possibly know about this group? We've only been here a few hours."

  "Oh, you'd be surprised, chickadee. I'd barely but stepped into this place when I found out that...well,” she swept her head to the side dramatically, “you probably don't want to hear the gossip."

  I really didn't.

  "I mean, it's not as if you would care that Sydnee killed someone."

  She stared at me, her penciled-in eyebrows arching expectantly.

  I looked back at her trying to feign disinterest.

  “I know you want to know,” she said in singsong voice.

  I made a show of searching through my bag for my pills. I couldn’t find any.

  “Please tell me they’re here,” I said, more to myself than her.

  “What are you looking for, kid?”

  “Something for my feet. They’re killing me.”

  She jabbed her pointer finger up. “Hold on, I’ve got something for that.” She went over to her bag, which had been stashed in a dark corner.

  “Thank you,” I said as she handed me a pill. I took a swig from my water bottle and swallowed it. I looked up and her eyes still glistened expectantly.

  “Thanks for the pain pill, it’ll really help.” I swished around a few more swallows of water for good measure. She had the same expression locked in. Impressive. Normally, she would have broken and told me anyway by now.

  I blew out a long breath. “All right. I give. Tell me everything,” I said with the enthusiasm of a deflated balloon.

  “I’m so glad you asked,” she said. “You know our friend, Sydnee?”

  I thought for a moment, then looked back at her with a blank stare.

  “You know, the skinny one.”

  “Doesn’t help.”

  “She has black hair…”

  I shrugged. “I got nothin’.”

  “Oh for Pete’s sake,” she said, her voice thick with impatience.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know which one is which. I know Jill, and Eva—is it? Beyond that, they all seem the same to me. They all look and act alike.”

  “You just haven’t gotten to know them like I have, Boss.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “Hey, we’d better get back downstairs. I’ll tell you on the way down.”

  I thought perhaps that was a bad idea. Sometimes, K.C.’s inside voice was the same as her outside voice.

  I put my hand on her forearm. “No, tell me now, I’m dying to hear.” I could take one for the team.

  She looked at me suspiciously. “Well, you didn’t hear this from me…”

  I kept the eye rolling internal.

  “Sydnee is a golfer. Anyhoo, one day a car happened to be traveling down the road past a certain golf course. All of a sudden, something came crashing into the windshield of the car. The driver, having been startled by the blow to his windshield, swerved into the path of an oncoming car and kablooie, there was a horrible accident.

  “Turns out, a golf ball had left the course and flown into the path of the moving car. It landed right in front of the driver on the windshield. The golf ball wasn’t marked. So, when the police asked around the course and showed the ball to the people working there, no one could identify the person who had hit the ball.”

  “So, assuming it was golfer girl—”

  “Sydnee.”

  “Sydnee who hit the ball,” I said, “what you’re telling me is that she didn’t confess to hitting it?”

  “Right-o.”

  “Well then, how does anyone know it was her?”

  “Apparently she got a little loose one night and told someone,” K.C. said as she tipped her open hand toward her mouth, pantomiming drinking. “She must have had a guilty conscience.”

  “Was anyone killed?”

  “I don’t know. It’s possible.”

  I felt a frown twisting the corners of my mouth. “Who would tell you such a thing, and why?”

  “Jill told me. People do that all the time.”

  “They do what all the time? Kill people with golf balls?”

  Her fists went to her hips. “Hardy-har-har.” The beads on her fascinator tinkled as her head bobbed. “People confide their innermost secrets to me.”

  ”Remind me never to confide anything to Jill,” I muttered under my breath.

  A loud knock sounded on the door. I jumped and K.C. yelped. I opened the door to Pam, who seemed so close to where the door had been before I opened it, her nose must have been squished up against the wood. Or perhaps her ear?

  “Oh, Quincy,” she said a little too loudly. “I was just checking to see if you two were okay.”

  “So nice of you to ask, dear,” K.C. said.

  “We’re all fine. I just came up to take something for pain. I’m not used to wearing heels all night. My feet are aching,” I said.

  “It’s time for the bridesmaid’s ceremony, are you coming?”

  “On our way,” I said sweetly.

  Even K.C. had slowed her pace as we walked down the
hall toward the staircase. It had to be getting late. I don’t mind admitting, I’m not a night owl.

  We came to the entrance of the ballroom and K.C. took a deep breath then threw open the large doors, making a grand entrance. I followed quietly behind. People were still dancing and mingling. I surveyed the room, looking for Alex. And I found him. Slow dancing with red-headed bridesmaid. It wasn’t a slow dance where both people hold each other at a respectful distance. It looked more like a lover’s embrace that kept on going minute after painful minute.

  I felt frozen to the spot. My mouth must have hung open because it felt completely dry inside. I could hardly swallow over the lump in my throat. Before I could think of what to do, someone—probably Pam—yanked on my arm and led me to the cake table.

  All the bridesmaids gathered around the wedding cake. Layer stacked upon layer of cake towered into the air. The sides were intricately adorned with lacy frosting. Lengths of ribbon came out from between the two bottom layers of the cake, the ends of each ribbon dangling gracefully over the edge of the very bottom layer onto the table.

  The end of each ribbon was finished with a little name tag, one for each bridesmaid. My fellow bridesmaids chirped with excitement. At the count of three, we pulled on our respective ribbons and teased out a silver charm from inside the cake.

  The small crowd of guests applauded then dispersed. Alex came over to me sans the new arm candy.

  “Hey, you’ve lost weight,” I said.

  He gave me a puzzled look.

  “Since I last saw you on the dance floor, you’ve lost about a hundred and twenty pounds.”

  I saw the understanding of my meaning wash over his face. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “What? You mean back there?”

  I nodded, and unfortunately I was too tired to play along very well. The knowing smile I’d planned to give him turned crooked and then, without any say so from me, my jaw trembled and I found myself trying very hard not to cry.

  “Q, hey, come here.” He led me to an empty table and we sat down.

  “I’m sorry, I’m being—”

  He squeezed my hand. “No, no. That probably didn’t look very noble of me. In my defense, I was holding her up.”

  I looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I was dancing with Christie, warning her about what a dufus she’d just married,” he winked, “and Audra came by with Jill. They were arguing. All of a sudden, Audra trips or something and lands on me and Christie. I kind of caught her and was holding her up. That’s probably when you came in with K.C.”

  “Did Jill push Audra?” I asked.

  “Audra claimed that she did. Jill denied it. They both sounded pretty hammered.”

  I wiped away the last of my ridiculous tears and sniffled. “What were they arguing about?”

  Pam came over and sat at our table. “How are your feet, Quincy? Did those pain killers set in yet?”

  Just then a vision came to me. It was the school librarian in elementary school. She had these long fingernails, and when you would go to her to ask for help finding a book, she’d walk over to a giant set of drawers with what seemed like thousands of metal pull tabs, one on each smaller drawer. You’d ask her to find a book about dragons, and she’d deftly pull open one of those drawers and her fingernails would click, click, click on the index cards inside until only moments later, she’d found the card with the precise book you’d been looking for.

  Pam reminded me a lot of that librarian and her card catalogue. Except the index cards in this case were details about people. Pam seemed to keep a card on every possible thing about a person and those cards and drawers were all inside of her head.

  “They’re okay. I’ll definitely be barefoot for the rest of the evening.”

  “How’d you like your charm?” Pam asked.

  “I love it. I’ll have to find Christie and thank her.”

  “Can I tell you a secret?” Pam looked at me conspiratorially.

  “Sure.” I shrugged.

  “I actually picked them out. I mean, not to take the credit or anything, but Christie was soooo busy, I told her not to worry, that I knew everyone so well, I could get a charm to represent each bridesmaid.”

  “Let’s take a closer look at it,” Alex said.

  I held the charm up and Alex leaned in to look at the tiny golden heart. Pam had conveniently seated herself on Alex’s other side, so she had to lean across his body in order to see the charm in my hand. I moved the charm so that she didn’t have to reach so far to see it, but she remained pressed up against him.

  “Look at that, it’s a heart,” Alex said while shifting in his seat, trying to rid himself of his new barnacle.

  “This is so sweet, Pam. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me, thank Christie. The charms were totally her idea. I just helped her pick them up from the jewelers.”

  An unexpected yawn took overtook me, reminding me I was wrenched with fatigue. “Excuse me. I think my body is trying to tell me something. I’m gonna head upstairs for the night.”

  “Oh no, you can’t. We haven’t had the sparkler send-off.”

  “The what?” Alex asked.

  “It’s a wedding tradition,” Pam said.

  “For the love of—” Alex gently grabbed my arm before I could finish.

  “Wow, I never knew there were so many wedding traditions,” he said. “We’ve got a lot of planning to do, Q.”

  The mention of our future wedding seemed to dislodge Pam and her décolletage from Alex’s body.

  “Let me know if you need any help.” She batted her eyelashes at Alex then stood. “Well, I’m needed outside. I’ll leave you two alone.”

  Alex turned to me. “Did you notice she contradicted herself about these charms?”

  “No, but I’ve found myself tuning out when she talks. She seems to know so much about me, and I hardly know her. It’s unsettling.”

  “I know what you mean. Oh, and I’ve seen those sparklers she was talking about. They’re like the ones we ran around with on the Fourth of July as kids, only they’re like, four feet long.”

  “So the happy couple can receive third degree burns just in time for their honeymoon. Brilliant. All of these traditions remind me of the wedding flowers people see in magazines. They look great for a magazine shoot, but what people don’t see is how those flowers are drooping over within a few minutes after the shoot. Or how those flowers were picked out of someone’s garden or off the side of the road and aren’t available for use in a flower shop.”

  I realized I was ranting and chalked it up to fatigue.

  “Would it be terrible if I skipped the gauntlet of fiery pain and went upstairs?” I asked.

  “Of course not. Do you mind if I come up later, though? I told the other guys I would help load a few things they’re going to float over to the shore tonight.”

  “I’ll probably be asleep when you get up there.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be snoring along with you soon.”

  “I don’t snore! Do I?”

  He laughed. “Not all the time.”

  That held little comfort.

  He stood and then gave me a lift up. The room began to sway. Or was it me?

  “Whoa, Quincy. You’ve had too much to drink. You feeling okay?” He pulled me into him and I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head.

  “Very funny. You know I don’t drink. Maybe someone spiked my punch. Is this what it feels like to be drunk?” My tongue felt thick and sticky and my head felt heavier with every passing minute.

  “Where are you two lovebirds going?” K.C. said from behind us. We stopped and her beads swished and tinkled as she came around in front of us. “Ohhh…wait, you’re headed up to the room. Say no more. Just chuck my things outside the door, will you? I know you’ll not want to be disturbed.” Her face distorted into a painful looking set of wrinkles as she made an over enthusiastic wink at us.

  Alex chuckled under his breath. �
�I don’t think you need to worry about that, K.C. It looks like Q is all partied out. I’m just dropping her off at the room.”

  “Oh, isn’t that cute. You’re a swell fella, you know that? You’ve caught yourself quite an outstanding fish there, Boss.”

  I smiled and looked at my fiancé. She was right. I felt so warm and fuzzy and all the sparkles from the chandeliers were swimming in slow motion all over the room. I did a little headshake.

  “K.C., are you sure you gave me a pain pill back at the room?”

  “I think so. I didn’t bring all of my pill bottles on account of me not staying overnight. I just brought my junk drawer bottle.”

  “Your what?” Alex said.

  “I just put all my pills in one old medicine bottle that I put in my purse. What color was it?” she asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just took it because you said it was a pain pill.”

  She bit her bottom lip then cringed. “I might…have had a couple of…sleeping pills in that bottle.”

  “K.C.!” Alex said. I could feel his arm tense up around my waist.

  “I know, I know. I’m awful sorry.” She was about to wring the life out of her beautiful beaded purse.

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I needed to sleep tonight. And now I will for sure.”

  “Are they prescription?” he asked.

  “Oh, no. Just over-the-counter. I think they’re mainly just Benadryl.”

  “Good,” I said. “Now my allergies won’t keep me from sleeping either. I’ll just go upstairs. You guys stay and enjoy the rest of the many wedding traditions yet to come.”

  “I’m going with you,” Alex said.

  “Okayyy,” I said, then pet the side of his cheek as if he were a purring cat. “Your skin is so soft.” I put my mouth against his ear. “Like a baby. I just want to pinch your cheeks like a baby.” I think I might have gotten in a mighty pinch at that point.

  “Wow,” he said, pulling my hand down and keeping hold of it.

  “Boss, I really am sorry.”

  “Iss fine. This is what I’ve wanted to do all night, anyway. Now I have an es-cuse.”