Vicki’s Gift

by Fischer, Kristin Noel

  He rolled his eyes, but then he put his board between his legs and snapped the buckle. “Happy?”

  “Yep. Ecstatic. Thanks.”

  “Sure. Bye.” He slammed the door and ran off to join his friends.

  I considered staying to watch him, but my phone buzzed with a call from Vicki. With one last glance at Robbie, I answered the phone. “Hey, you.”

  “Hey, yourself. What are you doing right now?”

  An easy feeling spread through me. “Sitting around, waiting for you to call.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Well, I finished early at the bakery. Do you want me to bring dinner out to you and Robbie? I’m sure the two of you have been working all day.”

  I felt a tinge of guilt. “Change of plans. I’m in town, so why don’t we meet somewhere for dinner?”

  “You mean go public?”

  “Sure. Now is as good a time as ever.”

  “Okay. How does the Pelican Pub sound?”

  “Perfect. King and I will pick you up in ten minutes.”

  *

  Minutes later, Vicki and I sat on the back porch of the Pelican Pub, sipping our drinks as King chased the birds on the beach. The pub had always been dog-friendly, even before being dog-friendly was in vogue.

  “How do you think our first appearance in public is going?” Vicki asked, looking around at the nearly empty restaurant.

  “Not bad.”

  We exchanged a smile, and I resisted the urge to take her hand. Appearing together in public was one thing. A public display of affection might be too much.

  The waiter brought our food—the Ruby Red Trout for Vicki and a basket of fried chicken with onion rings for me. After he left, we ate in silence for a minute.

  “You’re awfully quiet,” she said, taking a sip of her iced tea. “Are you thinking about tomorrow?”

  I nodded, even though that wasn’t true. In all honesty, I’d been thinking about our conversation from the other day. The conversation where Vicki told me she didn’t want kids.

  How serious was she? Could I change her mind? She’d be such a wonderful mom. Plus, our kids would be knockout gorgeous. How could I get her to see that?

  Under the table, she tapped my foot with hers. “Everything will be great tomorrow. I just know it.”

  I started to respond, but my cell phone rang. Even though I didn’t recognize the number, I answered anyway, hoping it was a potential client calling to make a reservation.

  “Seth?” a familiar voice said.

  “Rudy, how are you doing?” Rudy had been one of my dad’s best friends growing up. He was an avid Stephen King fan who worked as a nurse at the hospital.

  “Listen,” Rudy said, his voice serious, “I just came in for my shift, and your brother is in the ER.”

  “He is?”

  “Yeah. The ambulance brought him here a few minutes ago.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “I don’t know. They’re trying to get ahold of your grandma, but she’s not answering her phone. I think you should come in as soon as you can.”

  My stomach dropped. There was a flatness to Rudy’s voice that terrified me.

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not sure, but they’re saying he fell at the skate park.” In the background, someone spoke to Rudy. He responded before saying, “Seth, I’ve got to go. Text me when you get here, okay?”

  “Okay.” I wanted more information, but the sooner I got to the hospital, the sooner I could sort everything out. Jumping to my feet, I shoved my phone into my back pocket and threw enough cash on the table to cover the bill and the tip. “I’ve got to go.”

  “What happened?” Vicki asked, grabbing her things.

  “Robbie fell at the skate park. I’ve got to get to the hospital.”

  “I’ll come with you.”

  I called for King, and we raced to my truck. As we sped across town, I told Vicki everything Rudy had said.

  At the corner of Eleventh and Church, I flew through the stop sign, almost hitting a parked car. “Seth,” Vicki shouted. “Slow down. Getting in a wreck isn’t going to help anyone.”

  “I know.” I slowed the truck, realizing I needed to calm down. I needed to get control of my emotions and keep a clear head. Robbie needed me to be strong and think clearly. Causing a wreck wouldn’t help anybody.

  “We should pray,” Vicki said, always confident that God could and would help.

  I nodded as Vicki took my hand, bowed her head, and prayed.

  Lord, Robbie needs your help right now. Please heal him. Guide the hands of everyone taking care of him. Help him feel your presence and not be scared.

  I squeezed Vicki’s hand, touched by the last thing she said. Robbie was probably scared. He often acted like he wasn’t worried about anything, but if he’d been injured bad enough to be taken to the ER, he was probably terrified.

  “Do you want me to try calling your grandma?” Vicki asked.

  “No. I’ll talk to her after I find out what’s going on. I don’t want to worry her if it’s something minor.”

  Vicki nodded, and we drove the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. After what seemed like forever, we finally arrived.

  As I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted Rudy standing outside the entrance. He didn’t look good, and something deep in my gut told me the worst had happened.

  I took the first parking spot I found and killed the engine. Rudy walked toward us as Vicki and I stepped out of the truck.

  “Seth.” The way he said my name and the way he looked at me caused my heart to pound so hard my chest hurt.

  “How is he?” I dared to ask.

  Rudy shook his head.

  “What?” I demanded. “Tell me. Is he okay?”

  “He . . .” Rudy’s voice cracked. “Seth, he didn’t make it. Robbie didn’t make it.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Rudy shook his head. “I’m so sorry. He didn’t make it.”

  Beside me, a sob escaped Vicki. She reached out and grabbed my arm.

  I stepped back, shaking my head. “No. This can’t be right. Why are you telling me this?”

  Rudy nodded. “There wasn’t anything they could do. He fell on his head and—”

  I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Dead? How could Robbie be dead?

  Chapter 11

  Vicki

  Seth and I were still standing in the parking lot with Rudy when Seth’s grandmother arrived. Upon hearing the tragic news, she collapsed into Seth’s arms.

  The poor woman had devoted her life to caring for Seth and Robbie ever since the death of their parents. Now, she’d lost not only a daughter and a son-in-law but a grandson as well.

  “Why?” she cried. “Why?”

  From the truck, King stuck his head out the window and whined. Seth glanced at his dog before looking at me. “Will you stay with him while we go inside?”

  I nodded. “Yes, of course.” My heart heavy, I watched as Seth escorted his grandmother into the hospital with Rudy. How in the world could Robbie be gone? How could he have been so alive one moment and gone the next?

  Sitting with King in the truck, I wondered if I should call anyone. Would Seth want me to call Marcus or any of his other friends? What about our pastor?

  The fact that I didn’t know made me realize how much Seth and I had isolated ourselves. Without intending too, we’d built this bubble around us, and I didn’t know how to operate outside it.

  King whined to get out of the truck, so I clipped on his leash and took him for a short walk across the hospital parking lot. I didn’t want to go too far for fear of missing Seth when he came out.

  I shouldn’t have worried, however, because Seth and his grandmother were gone for what felt like hours. When they finally emerged from the hospital, both of them looked shell-shocked.

  “Can you do me a favor?” Seth asked.

  “Of course. Anything.”

/>   He handed me the keys to his truck. “I’m going to drive Abuela home in her car. Can you follow us in the truck?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  King whined, causing Seth to offer him a sad smile. Then, he helped his grandmother into the passenger seat of her car and drove home.

  As I followed behind them, I prayed my heart out, asking God to give me the right words to say. Lord, I want to help and support Seth and his grandmother. Show me how best to do that. Help us have faith during this horrible, horrible time.

  My throat ached with incredible pain. I couldn’t even imagine the devastation Seth and his grandmother were experiencing right now.

  A shudder ran through me as my thoughts drifted to Allie and her brothers.

  Oh, Lord.

  My prayer ended there because what else could I say? God, the creator of heaven and earth, ruled the world, deciding who lived and who passed on. Who was I to question his reasons?

  Help me understand why you didn’t save Robbie. Help me be a comfort to Seth and his grandmother. And please, God, comfort me as well.

  *

  At the house, I took King into the backyard and gave him fresh water. He trotted over to the fence and watched the children on the playground equipment. A couple of the toddlers wanted to pet King, but their mothers said it was too dangerous.

  “He’s really friendly and sweet,” I said, bending over to pet his head.

  One of the mothers left, but the other one allowed her toddler to stick his little fingers through the fence and pet King. King obliged by licking his fingers, which caused the little boy to giggle.

  The sound was so sweet, my heart shattered. Sometimes life is too hard, Lord. Why do you allow so much pain and suffering?

  When Seth came outside, King immediately raced toward him. I followed, stopping a few feet in front of Seth, who squatted to hug his dog.

  “How’s your grandma?” I asked.

  In response, he shook his head and closed his eyes. There was no way to answer my stupid question, and I shouldn’t have asked it.

  Seth gave King one last rub before coming to his feet. “Thanks for bringing King and my truck home.” He spoke with a cold formality I wasn’t used to. “I’ll call you once we have a date set for the funeral.”

  His words and actions felt like I was being dismissed. I knew I couldn’t be offended—he’d just lost his brother and was in shock.

  Still, the way he acted toward me hurt. I wanted him to let me put my arms around him and hold him. Maybe let me cook something for him and his grandmother. I didn’t want him to just send me home.

  I hesitated a beat, trying to think of a reason to stay. “Do you want me to call anyone for you? I could talk to my parents or call the pastor from church.”

  “He already knows. I guess the hospital or someone else called him because he was there. He’s going to come over tomorrow morning to talk about everything.”

  “What time? I could come over and be here if you want.”

  Seth shook his head. “That’s not necessary.”

  “But I want to be here for you. I want to help—”

  Seth looked at me as if I was a stranger. As though suddenly realizing it was me, his face slightly softened. “I appreciate it, but right now, I need to focus on taking care of my grandmother and making arrangements.”

  “I know, but let me help, okay?” I hugged him, but he barely hugged me back. He was understandably broken. Because I loved him, I was determined to do whatever it took to help him.

  *

  As I imagined, Robbie’s funeral was agonizing. There wasn’t enough seating in the church, so many people stood in the back and along the sides of the pews. Afterward, the ladies from church arranged a lunch in the banquet hall. I helped serve and clear tables, feeling the need to keep busy.

  Seth’s grandmother was a wreck, although she did have the support of her sister and a few other relatives. Marcus, Anna, and several other high school classmates sat with Seth at one of the tables, quietly talking. I wanted to join them, but I felt like Seth didn’t want me around.

  Since his brother’s death, Seth and I had spoken only a handful of times. I’d gone over to his house to try to help, but honestly, what could anyone do to help in this situation?

  Plus, everything I said seemed to make things worse. If I said I was sorry, Seth glared at me. If I asked how he was feeling, he acted like that was the most ridiculous question anyone could ask. So, I asked about the arrangements and logistics of what needed to be done.

  In hindsight, I probably should’ve kept my distance and given Seth space. Like the rest of my family, being quiet and giving people space wasn’t in my nature. I wanted to swoop in and fix things or at least make things easier.

  In the days following the funeral, I tried Seth’s cell phone several times, but he never answered. “I’m here for you,” I said, leaving message after message on his voicemail. “Call me if there’s anything I can do. Even if you just want to talk or need help. Maybe we could go for a walk?”

  Hanging up the phone, I closed my eyes and prayed. Show me how I can help, Lord. Show me how I can support him. Let him know he can depend on me and doesn’t need to push me away.

  About a week after Robbie’s funeral, my brother came over to the house with the baby. I noticed that Marcus had a tendency to come over whenever Anna was working. It made me wonder if Marcus was afraid to be alone with the baby.

  Hopefully not. Hopefully, he was just being lazy by taking advantage of the fact that Mom loved doing everything for baby Travis.

  While my parents took the baby outside to visit the neighbors’ horses, I cornered Marcus in the living room where he was watching a soccer game on TV. Casually, I asked about Seth. “How do you think he’s doing?”

  Keeping his eyes on the game, Marcus shrugged. “He’s probably doing okay, considering the circumstances.”

  “Have you seen him recently?”

  “I saw him at the funeral.”

  “You haven’t seen him since then?”

  “No, why?” Marcus pulled his gaze away from the TV and studied me carefully. As far as I knew, he still had no idea about Seth and me.

  I placed one of the couch pillows in my lap. “Seth is your best friend. I guess I’m surprised you haven’t talked to him since the funeral.”

  “It’s only been a few days. It’s not like I talk to him every day. Besides, I think he has a girlfriend now, so he’s probably more interested in talking to her.”

  My heart stopped beating. “He has a girlfriend? Have you met her?”

  “I said, I think. I don’t know for sure, so no, I haven’t met her.”

  I sat quietly for a moment. “Why do you think he has a girlfriend?”

  Marcus shrugged. “I don’t know. Just something he said a couple of days before his brother died.”

  “What’d he say?”

  Marcus looked at me and frowned. “What’s the sudden obsession with Seth? Now that he has a girlfriend, you’re interested in him?”

  “No.” I hugged the pillow in my lap a little tighter. “I’m just glad he has someone special. He deserves that.”

  “Yeah, he does.” Marcus returned his attention to the television, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

  If only Seth would talk to me. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain he was feeling, but still, didn’t he want me to help him? Didn’t he want me to be there for him?

  Chapter 12

  Seth

  There were no words to describe how devastated I felt after losing Robbie. Numb, broken, distraught? Nothing in the English language was sufficient enough to explain my brokenness.

  Losing my parents had been horrible, but losing Robbie destroyed me, especially since his death was my fault. Had I stayed at the skate park to make sure he kept his helmet buckled, he might’ve survived the fall. Instead, he’d succumbed to peer pressure, unbuckling his chin strap like everyone else. During the fall, his helmet had flown off, leaving
his head unprotected as it slammed down on the grind rail.

  And where was I when this happened? Enjoying a romantic beachside meal with Vicki.

  I didn’t blame Vicki, but being around her was tough. I couldn’t help but believe Robbie would still be alive had I not taken Vicki’s call and met her for dinner.

  One of the hardest things about grief was how alone I felt. I’d never in my entire life felt so isolated. I had Abuela, but her sorrow was too much for me to bear. Plus, she had her sister, who was staying at the house indefinitely.

  Vicki kept asking how she could help. What she didn’t understand was there was nothing she could do to help. There was nothing she could do to fix this.

  When our parents died, Robbie had given me a reason to live, but I’d failed him. What was I supposed to do without him? How was I supposed to go on?

  After the funeral, I started hanging out with Caleb, a guy I knew from this catering company we both worked at our sophomore year of high school. Caleb was what Abuela called “a bad influence.”

  Back in high school, he’d introduced me to smoking pot, something I stopped doing after Robbie asked if he could try it. Now that Robbie was gone, I figured why not.

  Besides, getting high, playing video games, and sleeping were the only things that gave me any relief from the constant burning in my gut. I probably had an ulcer. I’d never had one, so I didn’t know for sure. Maybe the hard knot in my stomach was cancer and I’d be dead in six months. I honestly didn’t know, nor did I care.

  I was just so tired of people feeling sorry for me and asking how I was doing. I liked hanging out with Caleb and his friends because they were too caught up in their own drama to harass me about my life.

  One evening, Caleb and the guys showed up at my place with a truckload of beer, pot, pizza, and cookies. I gave them free rein of the paintball courses and equipment. Things got a little out of hand, but I didn’t care. The guys were a welcomed diversion.

  Sometime in the middle of the night, I crawled into bed and passed out. Several hours later, King started whining as if he needed to go outside. I covered my head with a pillow, desperate to get back to sleep.