Flame and Starlight (The Esteria Series Book 1)

by Dana Isaly

  “They’re very distant relatives and past rulers of the Night Court.” That must’ve been all he wanted to divulge because he was off again, striding down the hallway, wall sconces lighting his way as he went. I jogged to catch up to him, my legs shaking with exhaustion from the day as I caught up. “Can I help you with something, Alyssandra? Despite what you might think of me, I do actually have business to attend.”

  “I told you, we were discussing things, and you just decided you were done talking. But I wasn’t.” I fell into step next to him as we rounded a corner. At the end of this hallway was a rounded door, locked with heavy steel in several places.

  “I didn’t leave because I was done talking. I left because you’re tired, your body is literally about to give out on you, and I have things to do that cannot wait.” He placed a hand on my shoulder as we approached the door and stopped. “Emric is on his way down. Can you just stand here for two minutes and stay out of trouble? Just go to your room and go to sleep. You’ll be training harder tomorrow. You need your rest.” He eyed the dusting on my shoulder and neck, a cloud of his own dust marking me, tracking me. I rolled my shoulders, and his hand fell.

  “What’s so important?”

  “You are filled to the brim with questions,” he said through a sigh and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. His eyes were red and tired when he stopped his assault and instead raked his fingers through the waves of his hair a few times. “If I explain to you what I am doing tonight, do you promise me that you will go back upstairs with Emric and go to sleep?”

  I folded my arms across my chest but nodded in agreement.

  “Fine,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door. “Tonight is Mayassar. Every month, on the new moon, the High Lord of the Night Court is responsible for making sure Mayassar is watched over and completed without issue.”

  “And Mayassar is?” I prodded.

  “Mayassar is when the evil souls of our world cross over into the After. I am responsible for making sure that every soul makes it over and doesn’t cause…problems.”

  I blanched. “You have to escort ghosts into the afterlife? Like a Faery version of Hades?”

  He rolled his eyes at my comparison. “They are not ghosts, and there is no afterlife for the souls crossing over on Mayassar. They will cross into the After and become nothing. They simply cease to exist.”

  There was a pit in my stomach, and it grew cold and hot at the same time. The entire plate of food I ate out of spite earlier was suddenly sitting in there, heavy as bricks.

  “Do they fight you? Do they try to escape?”

  “Some do. Not often, but they do sometimes get desperate and try to escape. It normally only happens with the souls who were exceptionally strong when they were living, mentally and/or psychically.” Gooseflesh rose over my arms, and I felt a creeping sensation make its way over the dust on my shoulder. “It’s far enough away that you don’t have to worry about them,” he said, eyeing me like I might pass out. “I’m also very good at what I do.” He flexed his crossed arms and stood straighter off the door now.

  I snorted and rolled my eyes. “Well, thank goodness there’s a big strong male around to save me from the wandering souls. Speaking of, where is Emric?” I brushed some nonexistent dust off the front of my dress. “I’ll need to make sure I keep him standing guard outside my room all night just in case.” I met his eyes and smiled at his defeated face.

  “Stay here and try not to get into any trouble.” The locks moved and opened with his magick. The shadows around him came to life in the icy wind as he opened the door and stepped out. I took a couple of steps back from the door, trying to shield myself from the cold. He gave me one last glance. “Good night, Alys,” he said, and the door slammed shut behind him as he walked out into the snow.

  “Someone went on a field trip.” I jumped at the sound of Emric behind me. I shrugged and watched the locks all click and slide back into place.

  “Is Mayassar dangerous?” I made my way back down the corridor with Emric in tow. I could almost hear him hesitate.

  “He told you about that?”

  I nodded. “Is it?”

  His sigh of impatience was almost identical to Asher’s. We took a different route and began climbing staircases clearly made for guests and not servants. My thighs burned with every step.

  “Mayassar isn’t easy. And not just in the sense that it’s hard to control the souls that are passing. It’s hard to have to watch them disappear into nothing. I honestly don’t know how Ash does it every month. Making sure each soul crosses over only to become nothing but part of the ether.” He took a deep breath. “But it’s part of his court, and he won’t let anyone else take on the job. And there’s a balance. Noori, which happens every full moon, is the opposite of Mayassar. On that night, he escorts souls into Summerland. The souls who are judged as living lives worthy of Summerland pass over under the light of Nyxa’s full moon and live forever in constant summer.”

  “Who is Nyxa?” I asked through a stifled yawn.

  “She is the Goddess of Night, our court’s patron Goddess.”

  I pushed my hair out of my face and over my shoulders, taking it all in. I couldn’t imagine having to carry the weight of that around on my soul. Forcing souls, even if they weren’t worthy of their Summerland, into the After only to watch them dissolve into nothing. Their lives may already have ended, but Asher had to end them completely and forever. He was the final, striking blow. I wasn’t sure if guiding any number of souls into the Summerland could ever take away the weight of the others.

  “Don’t worry yourself with it,” Emric said as he turned down the hallway that held my room. “Ash has been doing this for a while now. And every High Lord and Lady that came before him did it as well. Each court has responsibilities they would rather not have. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, Wheezy.” He elbowed me, and I gave a weak laugh at his nickname for me. We reached my door, another guard standing next to it, and I could hear Mavka behind it.

  “Thanks for walking me back. Let me guess, see you at first light for round two?”

  “At your service,” he said with a bow and then walked off in the direction we had come from.

  “Hey,” I said to the guard next to my door as I twisted it open, but he stared straight ahead. I stuck my tongue out at him and slipped inside. The room was filled with warmth and the scent of hickory.

  “Come on, then. Let’s get you in bed. I think you’re about to fall asleep where you stand, child!”

  For the first time, I didn’t fight her as she made quick work of getting the dress off and my nightgown on. My eyes were heavy as I picked up the small tin and rubbed some salve into my forehead. There was no more pain, and when I looked in the mirror, only a yellowish bruise remained. It was almost completely healed. I sat the tin back on the vanity and kicked my slippers off as I crawled into bed. I barely registered Mavka closing the curtains of the bed around me, sealing me in darkness, before I plunged headfirst into sleep.

  Chapter Seven

  I woke up to yelling in the hallway. When I threw my eyes open, I was still cloaked in darkness. My heartbeat hammered in my chest to the point where I thought I was going to pass out. I couldn’t help but remember Asher’s warning that people here would be out to get me, to kill me. I sat there, breathing in and out of my nose, listening. A loud thump into my wall made me jump up, throw the curtains back, and climb out of bed. My fire had almost died down to coals, making it very difficult to see.

  It must be late.

  I grabbed the cloak from the wall and, as quietly as I could, unlatched my door and peered out into the hall. There was no guard at my door, and that made my stomach twist again. Something had to have happened for my door to have been left unguarded. I stepped out into the hall and closed my door behind me, wrapping the cloak around my bare legs as tightly as I could. I heard voices to my left, and shadows danced across the walls around the corner.

 
Clinging close to the wall, I padded down towards the voices in bare feet. I tried to keep my breath calm so that I could hear if anyone was coming my way, but all I could hear were muffled footsteps and urgent whispers. As much as I dared, I poked my head around the corner. I spotted Emric, his dark hair in tangles around his shoulders, and another guard I didn’t recognize. They were standing outside an open door, Emric talking animatedly with his hands.

  “Go…the healer…blood…” were the only words that drifted down to me. The other guard took a short bow and turned towards me. I ducked back and pressed my entire body against the wall, heart in my throat, praying I could blend in with the shadows. He walked out, and I watched him walk away from me. I stared at his back until he was too far away to see and slowly peeked out again. There was no sign of Emric, but the door was still wide open, firelight pouring out of it.

  Curiosity got the better of me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was very, very wrong. I got more confident when I realized I couldn’t hear anyone talking, so I tiptoed down towards the open door. The cloak did very little to keep the cold out with my bare legs and arms in the flimsy nightgown Mavka had dressed me in earlier. It was no more than an insubstantial piece of silk with thin straps and a hem that stopped midthigh. Gooseflesh raised across my skin, from cold or fear, I didn’t quite know.

  I shivered as I approached the door, the warmth of the fire pouring out and drawing me closer. I looked into the doorway and saw Mavka wringing a cloth into a large basin next to the sofa at the fireplace. The water was streaming crimson over her small hands. The back of the couch faced me, but I could see a leg draped over the arm and a massive wing folded over the back. In the dim light of the room, its feathers looked inky as oil.

  “Mav?” I whispered, taking a step into the room. Her head shot up to look at me, her eyes wild and wide.

  “Get out of here, girl. This is not a place for you.” She stood up, rag in hand, and walked the couple of steps to the person lying on the couch. I had never seen anyone severely injured before, but I had taken care of my mother as her body had withered away into nothing, the cancer eating her up from the inside. In those final months, I had bathed her, held her hair as she vomited, and changed her diapers. If I could handle my mom in that much pain, a stranger should be easy. And it wasn’t like I could’ve gone back to my room and fallen asleep.

  I slung the bright white cloak across the bed. I felt naked in the thin fabric covering my body, but I didn’t dare get blood all over that pristine thing. I tied my hair up in a knot on the top of my head with the strip of leather I kept tied around my wrist for training. I made my way over to the couch and watched Mavka lay the cloth on the Fae lying on the couch. When I looked over the back of the couch, Asher lay there, a gash so deep across his chest I could see the cartilage of his ribs.

  “Oh, my,” I said and pressed the back of my hand to my mouth.

  “If you aren’t here to help, go back to bed. He doesn’t need anyone else gawking at him.” I had no idea Mavka could be so stern, but then as I watched her push fingers through his hair as a mother would, I could see the worry in her eyes. The wrinkles at her eyes seemed more pronounced now, filled with dread.

  “No,” I said, pulling myself together. “Tell me what to do. I can help.” She eyed me warily, still twisting her fingers through his hair. His eyes were closed, and his eyebrows were knitted together in pain. He groaned with almost every exhale, but he was clearly either passed out or so close to it he couldn’t comprehend what was happening. “I took care of my mother for months as she died. I can handle this.”

  Without waiting for a response, I walked around to the bowl of water, muddied with his blood, careful not to touch his wing. I took it from the floor and carried it to the bathing chamber. His room was set up almost identical to mine so everything was easy to find. I dumped the dirty water into the bath and watched the water, thick and red, swirl down the drain. I let the water run for a minute to let it get scalding hot. While the bowl filled back up, I got several new cloths from the drawers next to the door and threw them over my shoulder. I walked back into his bedroom and made my way across the floor, careful not to spill the steaming water all over myself.

  “This needs stitches, Mavka,” I said as I knelt next to them both. His head lolled to the side to face me, like he could hear my voice, but his eyes never opened. I swallowed thickly and looked at Mavka. “Where’s the healer?”

  “I’m not sure. Emric is flying to get him now.”

  “He doesn’t live on the grounds?” I slowly peeled the filthy cloth Mavka had laid across the cut in his chest and handed it to her.

  “No,” she said, standing up with some effort. “He lives in town. I would hope he would be here within the half hour.” She dropped the bloodied cloth into a basket filled with them under the window.

  “Okay,” I said, wringing a new cloth in the clean water I had brought over. I laid it as gently as I could across his chest. He hissed through his teeth, and his eyes opened just long enough to make contact with mine. They closed, and he rolled away from me.

  “Get out,” he mumbled.

  “What did he say?” Mavka asked and quickly came back to where his head rested on a pillow. Her hands wiped his hair back off his sweaty forehead.

  “I couldn’t understand him,” I lied. He was such an arrogant ass, even when he could be dying. “We need something to stop the bleeding. He’s going to bleed out.” I chewed on my lip. “Aren’t Fae supposed to have, like, super-amazing healing abilities or something?”

  “We do, especially High Fae like him. But this wound was inflicted by one of the souls he was escorting into the After. They are different wounds, and we can’t heal from them as easily.”

  I nodded and turned back to Asher. The cloth I had placed on his chest had already turned completely red. I took it off and replaced it with a clean one.

  “Mav.” She looked at me. “Can you go get the tin the healer gave me for my face? I know it’s not going to be enough, but it may at least help the pain. Hopefully it will kick-start the healing process.” She nodded and was out of the room quickly.

  “I thought you said you were good at what you do,” I said under my breath as I swapped out his cloth again. His chest rose and fell, slow and ragged. The tattoos I saw on him the night he took me extended down across his chest and covered his hard stomach, disappearing into his pants. My face warmed at where my eyes ended up, and I forced them back to the tattoos that swirled around his arms, stopping promptly at his wrists.

  “See something…you like?” I jumped and found him looking at me. “I thought I told you to leave.” He closed his eyes, and I could see him struggling to keep his breathing calm.

  “I’m helping. If you hadn’t noticed, you could use as much help as possible.” I shifted my knees and discovered they were sticky with his blood. I pushed the stray hairs out of my face with a shaky hand. Okay, this is really bad. “Mav has gone to get the salve the healer gave me for my face. If anything, it may help with the pain.” His arm fell off the couch as he passed out again, and his calloused fingers brushed my bare thigh. I looked at them for a second before lifting his arm back onto the couch. I was going to bury the feeling I got at that touch very, very deep.

  “Got it,” Mavka said as a way of announcing her presence back in the room.

  “Thank you,” I said, standing up and peeling away the cloth. “If he wakes up while I’m doing this, it won’t be good, Mav. It’s going to hurt. I need you to try and keep him calm.” She nodded grimly and placed her hands on his shoulders. The thought of her tiny self holding Asher down almost made me laugh. “Okay,” I said, pushing down the hysterical gurgle that threatened at my throat. “Let’s get this over with. I’m going to do it as quickly as possible.” She nodded again.

  I opened the tin and swiped all the contents that were left onto my fingers. I hovered over the gash, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself before I had to run my hand over his
torn skin and exposed bones. I counted down from three in my head.

  And then so many things happened very quickly. I swiped my fingers over the length of the opening in his chest. His eyes flew open, arms flying up to push Mavka off. He was too fast; she didn’t stand a chance. She went soaring backwards at the force of his attack.

  Then, in the time it took me to blink, he was on me. He had flown, literally flown, off the couch and threw me onto the ground. He roared in pain. One of his hands slammed down on the floor, and the other grabbed my throat as my head bounced against the floorboards with a sickening crack. Stars flew into my vision as I tried to blink them away. I swallowed against his hand at the vomit threatening to come up. The wind was knocked out of me, and I couldn’t breathe through his grip. I gasped and groaned. I choked, trying to take in as much air as possible. I could feel his blood, warm and syrupy, dripping onto my chest and pooling in the hollow of my neck.

  “Ash-Asher,” I whispered through a hoarse throat. I blinked the stars away a few times, but I still couldn’t see anything. It was so dark. All I could make out was the outline of his head. His wings, I suddenly realized. His wings were spread out, cocooning us on the floor. “It’s Alys! It’s me, it’s Alys,” I whispered. “Get the fuck off me.”

  “Shit,” he swore. “I told you to get out,” he said, releasing my throat and kneeling off me, his wings tucking themselves neatly behind his back.

  “What the hell happened here?” Emric practically yelled as he stormed into the room. I heard Asher slump onto the floor, leaning against the couch. Emric knelt next to me, but remembering what happened last time he touched me, I held an arm out to him.