Flame and Starlight (The Esteria Series Book 1)

by Dana Isaly

  I could feel him out in the castle somewhere, skulking and moody. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, me being able to feel his emotions without touching him, but they rolled through my body like thunder. His shadows, thinner now than they had been, lay flat against my skin, like even they were mad at me.

  “If I leave,” I said aloud to them, “it would make everyone’s lives here much simpler. Your master would get over my loss eventually. He’s basically immortal. There are plenty more opportunities out there.” I ran my finger down my arm, watching the shadows part. I looked out the window one last time, taking in the snowy mountain view, before standing and stretching. “Don’t reach for a savior. Reach for a knife.”

  I walked past the apple core Emric had left sitting on the stand and rolled my eyes as I picked it up to throw away. As I did, a small piece of paper fluttered from the stand to the floor. I picked it up and unfolded it.

  2am. Training room.

  I crumpled the note up and threw it in the fire. It had to have been left by Emric. Did he leave me a note because he was too worried someone would overhear him? Was he going to help me leave? Maybe he wasn’t so keen on my being here as he let on. My heart sank a bit at the revelation, but it just confirmed everything I had been thinking: I had worn out my welcome.

  I sat on my bed, fully dressed, after Mavka left me for the night, staring into the fire. The nerves were restless in my body. I had tried to find Asher before I went to my room for the night, but I couldn’t track him down. That made the pit in my stomach even larger and darker. I was sure he would be able to feel how desperate I was to see him through the stupid GPS tracker, but maybe he was just too angry to care.

  I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall again. I looked around my bedroom, taking in all the now familiar things about it. I would miss the comforts afforded to me here. Gods knew what I would be met with at the Autumn Court. I didn’t know if I would be thrown in a cell or given a room. Based on everything Asher had told me about this man that was supposedly my father, I would not be greeted with kindness. My expectations were low.

  I checked the clock on the wall. It was almost five minutes to two. I stood, took one more look around my room, and, ignoring the dread seeping through my veins, left. I wondered if Asher would feel something was different, wrong. I wondered if he would be able to tell I was leaving. And I wondered when the last wispy shadows would finally leave me and run back to him. Would he notice? Or I guess the real question was when would he notice? And what would he do when he did?

  In my fighting leathers and boots, dagger strapped to my thigh, I made my way down the halls as quietly as I could. This time of night, everyone would be asleep, but I didn’t want to take the chance of waking anyone. The long walk to the training room was dark and drafty. Muscle memory got me to the training room on time.

  I opened the door slowly and peered in. Even with my Fae sight, it was difficult to see through the shadows.

  “Em?” I whispered into the darkness. I walked in and closed the door, walking to the center of the room. I could sense someone lurking against the walls. “Hello?”

  Before I could even think to move, a curved dagger wrapped itself around my throat. “Hi there, princess,” a woman’s voice murmured low into my ear. Her emotions flooded into me. So much hate in one person had my head swimming.

  “Who are you?”

  “She’s with me.” Aoife stepped out of the darkness, her hair a glowing halo of fire tied in knots atop her head. Her emerald eyes glowed in the darkness. She lifted her hand in front of her, and flames glowed at her fingertips, lighting the small space between the three of us.

  “Interesting that you talk of peace and yet bring someone to hold me at knifepoint, sister.” I spat the last word at her feet. “Where’s Emric?”

  “I didn’t trust your power to not throw me across the room again, so forgive me the precaution of bringing Theia. Emric set up this little get-together, but he prefers to not get his hands dirty.”

  “Someone’s hands are going to get dirty?” I asked. “I thought you were coming to retrieve your sister, not a hostage.”

  She closed the distance between us with a few long strides. Gods, I could’ve cried with how much I realized I missed her sweet face. Her eyes softened.

  “I am still your sister. And I still want you with me. But I won’t apologize for how I have to go about getting you.” The hand that wasn’t on fire reached up and cradled my face. The sheer amount of love in her touch nearly knocked me flat on the ground. Too much bare skin was on my own. My mind couldn’t handle the assault. “I’ve missed you.”

  I bit my lip until I tasted blood against the raw pain in my throat. I turned my face out of her grasp.

  “I hate to ruin this little reunion,” Theia said. “But we should probably get this mark off of her and go.”

  “Mark?” I asked thickly.

  “That mark on your shoulder is going to lead him right to us. And even though he will have his suspicions about where you went, I would really rather you both not have a direct link to each other.” Aoife dropped her hand from my face.

  “And how do you intend to get it off of me?”

  Theia grabbed both of my arms with her free arm and pulled them tight behind me. My shoulders screamed against the stretch. I tried to pull them back, but she was a vise grip. I really wished newer Fae ended up being physically stronger than older ones so that I could Bella Swan her ass.

  “I’m going to burn it off, Alys,” she said, a vertical line of worry forming between her eyebrows. “It’s going to hurt. Badly.”

  My stomach fell through my butt and hit the floor. “You don’t have to do this, Aoife.” Theia pushed the curve of the dagger closer to my throat. I felt a pinch and a slow trickle of blood roll down my neck.

  “Oh, but she does, little one. Your mate is vengeful and hateful, and he will come for you.”

  I swallowed and shuffled my feet, trying to get further away from the flame getting closer. But it was no use—Theia was like backing up into a brick wall.

  Damn, this woman is built like a brick shit house.

  “I’m so sorry, Alys.” Her flame-free hand covered my mouth, and the other lay flat against Asher’s dust on my shoulder. I screamed against her hand at the lightning-like pain and smell of charred skin. My magic flared to life under her touch, begging to release and get the fire away. Tears streamed down my face. Her fire burned against my shoulder and then up my neck.

  My stomach rolled, and sweat broke out across my whole body. I felt my eyes light up, and if it scared Aoife, she didn’t let it show. My fingertips burned, and I knew…I just knew her touch had awakened the Autumn magick I had buried deep.

  “Almost done,” she whispered.

  My vision, wet and out of focus, picked up who I assumed was Theia across from me now. She was tall, lean, and tanned. She had deep brown hair tangled in braids that reminded me of a Viking, and her bright blue eyes surveyed me like I was a piece of meat. If I hadn’t just been assaulted by her, that heated look might have had me squirming in a different way. She was breathtakingly beautiful.

  I shifted my eyes away from her and looked up into Aoife’s. She had my head laid on her lap, and she was stroking the tangled mess away from my face. I tried to reach for my neck, but she grabbed my hand and put it back down at my side.

  “Best not touch it until it’s healed.”

  “It’ll be a wicked scar,” Theia chimed in from across the carriage, a snide smile painted across her pretty lips.

  “You scarred me?” I met Aoife’s eyes defiantly, and she looked out the window, away from me.

  “Those things are near impossible to break unless the maker does it willingly. And your body fought harder than I expected it would.” She sighed and continued to play with my hair. I wanted to cut off her hands in that moment. Knuckle by fucking knuckle. “His shadows finally let you go once that was broken, though. And it seems your fire mag
ick kicked in. Now you look like a proper Autumn High Fae.”

  I pulled one of my hands up in front of my face, seeing the blackened skin trail down my fingers and snake around my wrists. My stomach twisted in disgust at the blackened skin. I pushed off Aoife’s lap, and she disentangled herself from me reluctantly.

  “What’s next?” I asked either of them.

  “We get you home,” Aoife said as she reached out to take my hand. I jerked it away at the last minute and laid my hands on my lap. Looking down at them, I noticed they had relieved me of the dagger Asher had given me. My heart skipped a beat. I had lost a lot of Asher in one day.

  “I was home, Aoife. You’re taking me away from home. But believe what you want. I’m here because I wouldn’t let Asher fight my battles.”

  Theia snorted, and I whipped my head around to her. She met my hard stare with a flippant smile.

  “Don’t look at me like that, princess. I may get the wrong idea.” She winked at me, and I looked away from her and to Aoife. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

  “You have me. Theron has me. Leave Asher and his court alone.”

  She gave a slight nod and looked to Theia as I decided to ignore them both for the rest of our travels.

  I missed the shadows on my skin. My neck and shoulder felt lighter knowing I was missing that connection to Asher. I wondered what he would think when he realized I was gone, if he hadn’t already. Would he find out that Emric was the one that helped me? I prayed to the Gods he wouldn’t. If he knew Emric had been the one to help, he would kill him. Slowly.

  I’m so sorry, I called out in my mind. But I knew he couldn’t hear me. The absence of him racked through my body like an earthquake, shaking the very core of me. He would hate me. But him hating me alive was much better than him loving me into an early grave. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves as the carriage rattled on.

  Reach for a knife, Alys, not a savior.

  Epilogue

  Asher

  I sat upright in bed, my head pounding and spinning with the movement. I scanned the dimly lit room. Something was wrong. I had sworn I had heard a scream. I stood out of bed, swaying a bit with the sudden motion. The copious amount of alcohol was still very much in my blood. Gods, how much had I had to drink?

  “Emric,” I stated loudly enough for him to hear. He jolted up from his spot on my couch and swore.

  “What could you possibly need in the middle of the night?” He rubbed his eyes furiously before they landed on me.

  “Something is wrong.” Ever the carefree guard, he rolled his eyes and took his time standing.

  “What in the hell could be wrong at—” He glanced at the old clock above the fire. “—two in the morning?”

  I tucked my shirt into my pants and slipped on my boots as quickly as I could against the ache in my head. “How much liquor did you force down my throat? I feel like I’ve been run over by a horse.” I groaned. “Multiple horses.” I took a moment to hang my head in my hands. My senses were dulled, my head was pounding, and I could barely get the energy to move.

  “Pretty sure you were throwing those back all by yourself. Going on and on about how upset you were about a certain someone.”

  Alys.

  Her name drifted across my mind like a cool breeze, relaxing my muscles and bringing my senses back to light. And then my stomach plummeted. My heart raced. Why couldn’t I feel Alys? I reached out as hard as I could, searching for that cord that connected me to her. I struggled to try and hear her heartbeat. I listened for her sweet, dream-riddled thoughts. Nothing. Quiet. It was empty. The shimmering cord that connected us was gone. I felt the loss as if I had lost a limb.

  “I can’t feel her,” I said, suddenly up and moving again.

  “What? Who?” Emric was still standing there like a lost puppy, drunken and still half-asleep.

  “Alys, Emric. I can’t fucking feel her. Let’s go.” I walked out of my room, not caring if he had followed. Her room was so close to mine: down the hall, around the corner. My steps were heavy but silenced on the thick carpet.

  Why didn’t I check on her? Why didn’t I go to her?

  I knocked three times on her door and listened. Nothing. I stretched out my senses. Still nothing. It was so quiet without her there. What had happened?

  I threw the door open and burst into the room. I glanced around, and she was nowhere to be found. I threw the curtains back from the bed, and everything was folded like she had never even been there. My breath was coming quickly now, beating in and out of my lungs like drums.

  A small sheet of paper lay across her pillow, and I picked it up, nearly ripping it as I opened it.

  Asher,

  You told me that no one had ever chosen you.

  This is me choosing you.

  This is me choosing your life over mine.

  Alys

  I screamed then. I roared so loud I heard the windows rattle and felt my blood boil. My shadows exploded around me, filling the room with Night. My heart hadn’t been ripped out. It had been scorched, charred into nothing but a black piece of meat that was only there to keep me alive. She had left me. She had broken me. My body vibrated with the loss of her.

  I ripped the curtains of the bed and then gripped one of the bedposts and ripped it from the base. I swung it into her vanity, destroying it in a single swing, and then threw it across the room where it shattered the window. I tore at the bed, ripping at the sheets, the pillows, the mattress. Her scent flew around me: spices, chocolate, oranges, her. Her scent filled every pore of my body until it thrummed, and my magick rolled off me in waves. I could feel the room shake with it.

  “What happened?” Emric yelled as he rushed through the doorway.

  I stalked towards him and shoved the letter into his chest. I pushed past him as he read it.

  “Get the guards out now. We search the entirety of this court!” My voice echoed off the halls as I walked through them. Emric followed me, handing the note back to me. I stopped and stared at it a moment before taking it and shoving it into a pocket. “I want you to get every single fucking man we have available. I want every road, every forest, and every town checked thoroughly. We don’t stop until we find her.”

  “Ash.” He grabbed my shoulder. I looked down at his hand and then up at him. I knew my eyes were cold and black. “Does she want to be found? You know where she is going.”

  “I don’t care if she doesn’t want to be found. I will not let her walk into her death.” I took a breath. “We still don’t know if she actually left alone or if she was coerced. I should never have left her alone. Not after last night.” I shrugged his hand off and stalked down the hall. “And have the guard in charge of patrol meet me in the stables. Immediately.”

  Emric went off to do as I ordered, and I was left alone with my thoughts. I flexed and unflexed my hands over and over again, willing my temper back into place before I brought down the entire castle with my bare hands. I rolled my neck as I made my way down the grand staircases.

  I could still feel her on my skin. I could feel her smooth fingertips run their way up my arms and then scratch their way down my back. I could feel the bite of her teeth against my lips, the taste of her blood coating my tongue. The taste of her coating my tongue. That wild, stubborn, ravenous little thing was my mate. And I would be damned if I let her slip out of my grasp.

  I should’ve known to not leave her alone. I should’ve taken her questions on the way home more seriously. I should’ve stayed with her, kept her in my bed and in my arms so that she didn’t have a choice but to remain here. Proud, self-sacrificing little creature. I would get her back and never let her go.

  The chill whipped around me as I stepped outside and made my way out to the stables. Emric and the guard were close behind as I arrived. I glanced around, looking to see if maybe she had risked taking a horse. Would’ve been brave of her with her lack of riding skills, but every avenue had to be explored.

  “You and Emric will ta
ke horses and go around the perimeter,” I addressed the guard. “I want her tracks found. Immediately. I will be in the skies. How are we on getting the rest of the guard moving?”

  “Will be ready within the next five minutes, Your Highness,” the guard said and bowed.

  “You were in charge of the patrol tonight, and you let her slip through your fingers.” I stepped closer, my shadows creeping around his legs, higher, higher, until they found his throat. His eyes bulged, and his breaths quickened. “Are you on their payroll?”

  “No! No, sir!” he wheezed. I squeezed tighter against his throat, my shadows coiling as tightly as a snake might. “I swear it to you!”

  I let him go, and he dropped to the ground. “Get your shit together and find her.”

  With that, I spread my wings and took to the air in a swift thrust. I shot into the cold air until I was high enough that I could see the entire surrounding area around the castle. My vision wasn’t good enough to be able to see tracks that high up, but I could try to look for movement on the roads or through the trees.

  I breathed deep, trying to catch her scent on the wind. How long had it been since she left? How long had it been since I jolted awake, knowing she was gone? At least thirty minutes. If she was traveling with Aoife, they could be far enough away now that I wouldn’t smell her, wouldn’t be able to taste her on the air.

  I surveyed the land and saw nothing. Without waiting for the guards to get moving and Emric to find her tracks, I started making circles, tightly around the castle and slowly getting wider and wider until I had encircled all of the grounds with nothing but silence.

  “I went around the back where we normally train since there’s access to the outside while he checked the front. We both came up empty, Asher. She’s covered her tracks somehow.” I looked over at him where he suddenly hovered to my right. “The other guards have mobilized and are out looking for her.”