Lone Star Longing (Hearts of Broken Wheel, #1)

by Fredrick, MJ

  Well, maybe not so lonesome because a chorus of cries, spine-chilliingly close, responded to the first animal. Beck sat up in bed, straining for a glimpse of the animals that howled just on the other side of the barn. He didn't know why they fascinated him. Maybe he’d been away too long. He’d always strained to see them when he was a kid, too, and had, many times. His father had killed them on sight, because they were a threat to the livestock, and Beck understood that, though it always made him sad, especially when there were pups or a nursing mother.

  Now they weren’t a threat to anything he had, and he wanted to see them. But the night was too dark, and they sounded farther away. He lowered his head to his pillow and let the scents and sounds of his childhood carry him to sleep.

  “BECK! I’D HEARD YOU were back in town!”

  Beck turned from the counter of the hardware store when he heard the deep voice of Con McKay from behind.

  Con had always been a big guy, but now in his late twenties, he was in his prime, his shoulders broad beneath his t-shirt, his arms stretching the sleeves. He wore his dark blond hair shorter than he had in high school, and the planes of his face had sharpened, but otherwise, Beck would know him anywhere.

  “How long are you here?” Con demanded after a back-slapping embrace.

  “Getting my mom’s place fixed up.” Beck rested a hip against the counter. “After that, my plans are fluid.”

  “Fluid, huh?” Con picked up a key ring measuring tape from a box near the register, then put it back. “I thought I heard you were working for Riley Foster? Why aren’t you up there in California with him?”

  “We parted ways. I needed to get some stuff done around here and his schedule isn’t very flexible, you know. I needed more flexibility. I’m still waiting to realize I don't have to be somewhere at a certain time. It’s an adjustment.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “And you? Working on the family ranch still?”

  A shadow passed over Con’s face before he replaced it with an affable smile and nodded. “Yeah, not a lot of flexibility out there, either. Tied to the land with its own schedules.”

  “Working horses out there, still?” Con’s father had raised some of the best of the best Appaloosas, the most beautiful horses Beck had ever seen.

  “My number one priority.”

  Beck didn't know if his father was still living, still running things, and he didn't want to ask, didn’t want to bring it up in public. Con had had to put on a positive face for Broken Wheel for years. Beck didn’t want to chip away at it.

  “So where are you staying?” Con asked. “Your mom’s place?”

  “Yeah, for now. It’s in pretty bad shape so I’m trying to help her get it taken care of. Then I’ll figure my next step.”

  Con straightened. “Hey, let’s go over to The Wheel House and I’ll buy you a beer. Couldn't do that the last time I saw you.”

  Beck’s first instinct was to say no, but damn, he and Con had been friends in high school. And he could use a friend now. He wondered if Con could, too.

  “That place still around?”

  “Not exactly the same. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  Beck hadn’t been to The Wheel House since he had to go in and drag his dad out when he was a kid. Yeah, that had been fun. But apparently it had new owners or something. Beck didn't remember what building had been next to it, but that building was gone, and the area was partitioned off by a split rail fence. Inside the fence were picnic tables, three-hole washer game boards, a small stage. He could see where this would be a nice gathering area some evening or a Saturday afternoon when it wasn't blazing hot outside. A couple of trees grew around the perimeter, though they didn't add much shade yet.

  The two men walked into the bar, which was in the same orientation it had been years past, but a big chalkboard behind the bar listed a menu of food and drinks. They could sit at wooden stools at the bar, or at additional picnic styled tables inside.

  Con chose the bar.

  “So who bought this place?” Beck asked.

  “Ah, well, no one you know. She came in a couple of years ago, thinking the boom from the basin would trickle down here. It hasn’t, but this is a nice place to hang out. I don't know how she’s keeping her head above water, but I do what I can to keep her in business.”

  The casual reference made Beck wonder to whom Con referred. “So what’s new with you, man? You knew about me, about my life. What about you? Married? Kids?” Con and Britt Fraser had been inseparable when they were in high school. Everyone had been sure they’d be married. For all Beck knew, they had ten kids by now.

  Con flicked a hand to the side. “Nah. Neither of those things.”

  “Britt?”

  “She left after high school and never came back.”

  Beck straightened. “I never thought that would happen.”

  “Yeah, well, after all that happened that spring, hell, I would have left if I could, too.”

  “But you’re still here.”

  “It’s what I know.”

  That kind of thinking was how people got to be bitter and old before their time, but Beck didn't know Con now well enough to say so.

  He ordered a bock, Con did the same. The bartender looked vaguely familiar, and greeted Con, just nodded in Beck’s direction. Beck would ask later who he was. He was older than the two of them, but not much.

  “You? You get married? Or come close? Or you just have all the girls now?”

  “Not married, not close, and only a few of the girls,” Beck replied with a grin as he lifted the bottled bock to his lips. He wondered why at Con’s question, the face that popped into his head was Lacey’s.

  “I guess why settle down when you’re seeing the world, right?”

  He heard the envy in Con’s voice and didn't know how to address it. Sure, he’d been able to see the world, been able to escape Broken Wheel, had a college education. He wasn't sure Con ever got one. He knew Con’s guilt compelled him to stay, to make up to his father for not saving his sister’s life.Beck didn't want to see his friend old before his time, not the guy who who used to have a smile for everyone, was affable and cheerful. Beck wondered how much of that had been destroyed when Claudia died, how much of it had happened when he saw his future drifting out of his reach.

  Beck wished he could turn back time for his friend.

  “What about Marcus and Conrad? Sara?”

  “Oh, yeah, they left town and never looked back. I don't think they’d even think about Broken Wheel if Mom didn't live here.”

  “But they don't come visit?”

  “She is not an easy woman to get along with.”

  “And yet you’re living with her.”

  Because fixing up the house would alleviate his guilt for leaving her here. He could leave town without feeling bad.

  “Too bad this town was a place we wanted to leave,” Beck said with a sigh, folding his hands around his beer. “Whoever bought this place had the right idea—make it a place to enjoy, to gather. The only places I remember ever gathering were church and school. And high school wasn't even in Broken Wheel. Had to travel another half hour to there.”

  “Yeah, this place does pretty good on the weekends. You’ll have to come see.”

  “Who do you keep in touch with from back in the day?”

  “Well, you know, some people leave, but Dwayne and Caleb got jobs in the basin, and Javi works for the highway patrol. Lacey is nursing, but I guess you know that. Sofia still runs the motel, though she has to be drowning in debt after her bastard ex talked her into renovating, then bailed and left her with the bills. Ginny is waiting tables at the diner, and word is Janine wants to retire and leave it to her. Poppy is an elementary school teacher, which I think is more odd than Javi being a cop, if you ask me. Your family left, Britt left, Debbie left, but most everyone else stayed.”

  “I can’t believe Javi is a cop after all the shit we pulled growing up. I ran into Sheriff Talamantez the other day
and he remembered me.”

  Con laughed. “Yeah, he would. Seriously, man, I’m surprised you didn't become the race driver instead of Riley Foster.”

  “Maybe if I’d grown up driving something besides that old truck, I would have.”

  “So have you run into anyone else since you’ve been back?

  “Yeah, I’ve seen Lacey. She’s looking after my mom.”

  “That’s the perfect job for her. She likes to take care of people.”

  “You know this guy she’s with? Air Force guy?” He didn't mention her pregnancy in case Con might not know yet.

  “I’ve met him a couple of times.”

  Con’s lack of elaboration raised some red flags. “Good guy?”

  “Not worthy of Lacey, but you know, I’m not going to think anyone is.”

  “Think they’ll get married?”

  Con shot him a look. “Why do you ask?”

  Shit. Revealed too much. “No reason.”

  “Right.” Con held his gaze for a long moment, but Beck was determined not to give anything away. Finally Con relented. “So tell me all the places you’ve been. Let me live vicariously.”

  Beck lifted a hand from the worn wood of the bar. “Yeah, well, I’ve been a lot of places, but I was working mostly, so I didn't get to see a lot. I mean, I was just in Las Vegas but didn't get to so much as pull the handle of a slot machine. The schedule can be pretty brutal, especially this time of the season, and when Riley is doing well in the standings. The better he does, the more work for his crew, you know?”

  “But you, like, have stamps on your passport beyond Mexico, right?”

  “Sure, I’ve been to Spain and Italy and Belgium, driven on the Autobahn. Was supposed to go to Russia this summer, but I guess that won’t happen now. I’d never been there.” Something in his chest sank at that realization. He’d really been looking forward to that experience. But he’d made his choice. He was pretty sure that even if he went back to Riley with a plea to work for him again, Riley would say no. He’d left the team at a vulnerable time, after all.

  Con shook his head. “Man, I’d love to see a fraction of those places.”

  “Why can’t you?”

  “Ha.” Con pulled out his wallet to pay for the beer, and Beck put his hand out.

  “Let me buy.”

  “I invited you. Besides, you’re unemployed now.” Con slapped his shoulder and offered a smile, the old smile Beck was used to seeing. “Come on out Sunday. We get here about four, play some washers, drink some beer, listen to some music. It’ll be good for you to see everyone again.”

  Maybe it would, maybe not. But he found himself nodding, and worse, looking forward to it.

  Chapter Eight

  “ARE YOU GOING OUT TO The Wheel House this Sunday?” Beck asked Lacey as she packed up some plastic containers with the casserole she’d made in his mom’s kitchen the next day.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because I ran into Con at the hardware store and he said a group of y’all go out there on Sundays and play washers.”

  “I haven’t been in months, but yeah, we used to do that, especially after Hailey first opened. It was a nice place to hang out.”

  “Not any more?”

  She opened the freezer to load the containers in a neat stack. “And Jesse wasn't really a fan of hanging out with my old high school friends.”

  “Why not?”

  “I guess he felt like he didn't really know them since he hadn’t gone to school here. I could understand that.”

  “So did you hang out with his friends?” Jesse didn't sound like a very nice guy, in Beck’s opinion. Kind of a dick, to be honest.

  “No, we just kept to ourselves, mostly.”

  “That can get old.”

  “I was okay with it. I’m not the most social being on the planet. I was kind of a loner in high school, you know, until the accident. Then we all kind of bonded. Still, sometimes being with them makes me sad, especially Con.”

  Beck thought about what Con had said about her liking to take care of people. “Yeah, it changed him for sure. He’s not the same guy I knew in high school.”

  “No, and that makes me sad, too, what he lost. Not just Claudia, but him. What he lost of himself.”

  “He never went to college after all?”

  “I think he did some online courses, but no, he never left town. Britt did, and never came back.”

  “Are his parents still around?” When she cast him a sideways glance, he shrugged. “I didn't know how to ask him without being blunt, so I thought I’d ask you.”

  “They are still around. His mom—you wouldn't recognize her, she’s gained so much weight. His dad—I don't know how Con can bear it, his dad is so hard on him.”

  “He was always hard on him. I mean, I can see how it would be worse, but he always expected a lot of Con. I wonder why he stays.”

  “Lots of reasons. He loves his horses. He loves his mom. And he feels responsible for Claudia.”

  “No one could have known something like that would happen. I mean, we felt responsible, too, because if you hadn’t been coming to get us...and then there’s the guilt that we didn't have to fight for our lives the way you did. But you can’t live like that.”

  “No, of course not. It was a freak accident. That’s all it was. But it changed everything, for some more than others.”

  “I didn't mean to take you down this road when I asked,” he said after a few minutes of silence.

  “No, I know.”

  “I just thought it might be fun to go hang out at The Wheel House, you know, since there isn’t a ton to do here. And it seems to me like you work all the time, like maybe you’d like to get out and have fun. Eat some wings, have a few laughs, listen to some music. Not a date,” he added quickly, his hands up in front of him when she opened her mouth, pretty sure she was going to protest. “Just a group of friends.”

  “Maybe I will. I’ll see what my dad has going on, then I might show up. I can always be the designated driver.”

  He smiled when she smiled, a smile that lit up her whole face, transformed her, really.

  He didn't really remember her from high school. In fact, it had taken him a few days to realize she was the girl he’d pulled from the water that day. The girl who had shivered in his truck. The girl he found out later had saved her friend, though she’d insisted that her friend had saved her first.

  He remembered how tough she’d been defending Mrs. Driscoll, the bus driver, when the town accused her of driving through a low water crossing. Lacey had insisted Mrs. Driscoll hadn’t gotten that far, that the road had washed out before the bus reached it.

  He knew Austin, Mrs. Driscoll’s son, was grateful for Lacey’s support while he mourned his mother. Beck kind of thought the two of them would end up together.

  He was kind of glad they hadn’t.

  Beck picked up the load of towels Lacey had been about to carry down the hall.

  “Come out Sunday. It’ll be good. It’ll be fun,” he said, and walked out of the kitchen.

  “WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO?” her dad asked when Lacey picked up her purse near the door.

  She adjusted the waistband of her shorts beneath the hem of her shirt, which was long enough, thankfully, that she could leave the shorts unbuttoned over her growing belly. “Poppy and some of the others are going to be at The Wheel House playing washers. I said I’d go.”

  Her father’s expression softened. “That’s good. It’s been a long time since you’ve gone out and had fun with your friends.”

  “Yeah, it has been.” Between her long-distance relationship, her dad’s surgery and her job, well, she couldn't name the last time she went out. Her shoulders relaxed a little. She hadn’t realized she felt tense about telling her father her plans. He wasn't Jesse.

  The thought of Jesse tensed her shoulders up again. Her luck, he would call when she was out, when she never went out.

  “Have fun. Be careful. Don't worry about
me, I’ll get something to eat. You have fun. Enjoy yourself.”

  “I will, thanks, Dad.” She waved her keys at him, adjusted her shorts and headed out.

  The Wheel House was busy, so she had to park down one of the side roads and walk. She was a little dewy as she walked into the yard, looking around the crowd for her friends. She was surprised that Beck was the one who noticed her, waved her over to where two round tables had been pulled together near the washer games.

  She made her way around the washer boxes and the lines of people playing the game to her friends, who all greeted her enthusiastically, almost in unison. Con rose to give her a side hug, and Javi did the same. Poppy and Ginny scooched together to make room for her on the bench.

  “Hey, I’m glad you came out,” Sofia said from across the table. “You haven’t been here in so long.”

  “Yeah, why is it so crowded?” Lacey shifted her weight, trying to get comfortable on the wooden seat. “I don't remember it being so crowded.”

  “Apparently they’re having a washer tournament,” Poppy said.

  “Are they.” Lacey stretched to see the washer boxes. “I didn't know that was a thing.”

  “Apparently Hailey has been promoting it for a while, trying to get business, which is great for her. But it’s a little busier than I thought it would be.”

  Someone placed a glass of ice water on the table in front of her and she looked up into Beck’s face. He gave her a crooked smile.

  “I wasn't sure if iced tea or soda was okay. Maybe lemonade?”

  She laughed. “I don't think they have lemonade here.”

  “Sure they do. There are kids here.”

  “I’m not a kid.”

  “Well, I know, but there are things you shouldn’t drink, right?”

  All the blood drained from her head, and she gripped the edge of the table. Of course he knew. The whole town probably knew. But he hadn’t said anything to her about it, and honestly, for some reason she hadn’t wanted him to know yet. She’d thought he’d be well on his way out of town before she had to admit to everyone she was pregnant.

  “I can have an iced tea, just one.” She moved to get up but he put his hand on her shoulder.