Lone Star Longing (Hearts of Broken Wheel, #1)

by Fredrick, MJ

  “You deserved a great party,” she said. “But Poppy, Sofia and Hailey did most of the planning.”

  “It’s all great. Thank you.” He cast a grin at Beck. “Did you get a welcome back party when you came home?”

  “Beck’s not staying much longer,” Lacey answered for him. “I’m sure he’ll be back on the road by the time you see your first patient.”

  “Well, my first patient is next week, so...”

  “About that,” Beck interrupted. “I wanted to talk to you, Lace, when you get a chance.”

  She cast a glance up at him, brow furrowed, before she turned back and smiled at Mrs. Conover who took the paper plate from her hand.

  When the cake was served, Beck made sure he pulled Lacey aside before Austin or Poppy or anyone else could.

  “Let’s go get something to drink,” he said.

  “I’ve got a water bottle around here somewhere.” She cast a glance about, but a number of plastic water bottles filled the tables, none easily identifiable as hers.

  “I’ll get you another one. Come on.” He touched her elbow to indicate he wanted her to follow him.

  And she could cool off in the questionable air conditioning of the bar.

  “What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked as they stepped inside, and she turned her face to the oscillating fan hanging in the corner of the ceiling.

  “Well, I wanted to talk to you about the fact that I’m working in the basin, so I’m going to be doing that for a while, and I kind of decided I’m tired of going out on the road, so I’m going to, ah. I’m going to build myself a house.”

  She twisted her head to look at him, eyes wide. “You are? Where?”

  “I’m going to build on Mom’s land. Look, I know it’s far away from everything, and I thought about, you know, buying land closer to Midland, closer to the basin to cut my commute, but I priced it, and really, the best bang for my buck would be building on Mom’s land. I talked to my siblings, they’re okay with it. But this way I wouldn't have to worry about roads and power and water, you know? I could just build.”

  She was still staring at him. “I had no idea you wanted to stay here.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t, either, when I turned off the highway to come see how Mom was doing. I didn't have any idea I wanted to stay when I met you, when we started hanging out here on Sundays, when I reconnected with everyone. But yeah, man, now I do. I like spending time with my friends. I like spending time with my mom, I like spending time here. I like the lack of urgency, I like the simplicity of it all.” Another couple walked in behind them and he couldn't elaborate, couldn't tell her he was staying because of her, because of her babies. He couldn't tell her he wanted her input on his house because he wanted her to live there too.

  They reached the counter, he ordered a soda and a bottle of water, which earned an arched eyebrow from the bartender. Beck paid, handed the bottle of water to Lacey and said, “Can we get out of here for a little while?”

  “The party—”

  “Not long. Just...a little while.”

  “Your mom?”

  “Will be fine. Please, Lacey.”

  Something in his tone must have convinced her, because the look in her eyes changed, and the crease between her brows disappeared. “Okay. Sure.”

  They walked through the gates and down the road a bit to his truck. He held the door for her and she lifted herself in, looking so right in his truck.

  “If you hadn’t just told me you were staying, I would have thought you were bringing me out here to tell me goodbye,” she said as he hopped into the driver seat and turned the ignition.

  “I’m bringing you out here because every time I try to talk to you lately, we get interrupted, and I need you to hear me out.” He drove past the elementary school and turned onto the highway leading to San Angelo. He didn't have a destination in mind, just wanted to talk to her. “You doing okay? I mean, with everything that’s going on?”

  “I guess. I’m not as overwhelmed as I was. Dad told me I should just take it one day at a time, plan for what I can, take the rest in stride. Easier said than done,” she added with a short laugh.

  “Look, Lacey, we’ve known each other a long time, though we didn't really know each other that well until lately.”

  “Okay.” She dragged the word out.

  “I have been thinking a lot about this since the Fourth of July, so I want you to know I’m not being rash or anything.” He turned the signal on his truck to a dirt road, pulled onto it, parked and set his flashers. “Being near my mom isn’t the only reason I want to stay in Broken Wheel. You’re part of it, too. A big part.” Damn, he’d had weeks to figure this out and he was stumbling over the words, because he wanted to get it out before they were interrupted again.

  Even though they were the only people for miles.

  “I think you’re pretty incredible, strong and beautiful and determined. I want to be a part of your life, and the babies’. I thought, you know, you could use the support, and I would love them just like my own.”

  “What are you saying?” Her eyes were enormous in the dashboard lights, her voice shaky.

  He reached across the console for her hand. “I’m saying I want to marry you.”

  She didn't snatch her hand away, but he could feel the tension in her that made her think she wanted to.

  “You want to what?” The last word was a screech.

  God, he really hadn’t laid that out very well, had he? “I want to marry you, make sure you have everything you need. You and the babies.”

  “Beck, you barely know me. We’ve never even kissed. You don't love me.”

  “I think I might.”

  She went completely still before she pushed the passenger door open and hopped out onto the dirt road.

  He scrambled out and stood in front of her by the time she got the door closed.

  The wind wiped her hair into her face and she slapped it away as she glared up at him. “I don't need to be rescued, Beck Conover. I don't need your pity. We don't need your pity. I can do just fine on my own.I have my dad as backup, but I got myself into this, and I’m taking the responsibility for it.” She clapped both hands to her head to hold her hair back as she scowled up at him. “This is what you came up with when you thought I was going to give them up for adoption, isn’t it?”

  He shouldn’t have told her he had worried about that. And she hadn’t heard him say he might love her? He wished he was sure, but he wasn't going to start their marriage off by lying to her.

  “I think we’d be good together. We get along really well, we have a lot in common. I’m ready to settle down.”

  She was shaking her head. “This is just your nature. You rescued me before and now you’re wanting to rescue me again.”

  “It is not the same thing at all. Yes, I want to take care of you and make your life easier, but it’s not a rescue. Do you think I think I won’t get anything out of it?”

  Now she looked mad enough to spit. “Jesus, Beck.”

  “Not sex. I mean, yes, I hope someday we will get to that point, to make love, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, you know how many girlfriends I’ve had? Two. Two girlfriends. In all the other girls I’ve met, I’ve never found anyone who I had so much in common with as you.”

  “How can you say that? I’ve never gone anywhere—going to San Antonio was an adventure for me. I’m not as smart as you. What do we possibly have in common?”

  “Okay, maybe having something in common isn’t the right thing. Maybe having rapport is more what I mean. You’re so easy to talk to, and I love to hear you laugh, and Jesus, Lace, when we go anywhere, I look for you first because you’re the one I want to spend time with. You’re the reason I come into town on Sundays, that I have been taking my time rebuilding Mom’s house. Just so I can see you, so I can hear your voice, hear your laugh. One of the best days of my life was when we went to Fort Clark, just because I loved watching you having fun.”
Christ, was he in love with her? Because that description sure sounded like it.

  And she was staring at him, shaking her head. “I’m really glad we started talking about this before you started building your house, because if you’re building it for me, you just....shouldn’t.”

  His chest was starting to ache. What had he expected her reaction to be, really? He had kind of screwed up this whole proposal. He wished he could turn back time and start over again.

  Maybe he could.

  “Lace, can you do me a favor?”

  “What?” Her expression was wary.

  “Could you forget everything that happened since we got into the truck?”

  Her shoulders sagged. “I think that’s the best suggestion you’ve had all day.” She turned and started to get back in the truck.

  “Lacey Davila.”

  She turned back, and he went down on one knee. He didn't have a ring, damn it, but he had thought she was too practical for that. They could get one later.

  “Lacey, I want to love you, love your babies. I want to take care of you, build a house for you. I want to live there with you because you make me happy. Just seeing you makes me happy. Hearing you laugh. Hearing you talk. I want to be the one you turn to when things get rough. I want to be there for you, and your babies. Will you marry me?”

  Tears streamed down her face as she looked down at him, her face illuminated by the running lights of his truck. She pulled her hand free from his and shook her head.

  “I’m sorry, Beck. I can’t.”

  Chapter Twenty Three

  HER DAD KNOCKED ON her bedroom door when he got home from Austin’s party. “Where did you disappear to tonight?” he asked through the door. “Everyone was looking for you.”

  She’d spent the last hour crying into her pillow, so she should have expected her father’s dark expression when she opened the door to let him in.

  “Everyone?” she asked, her voice froggy from tears.

  “Austin, especially. Poppy and Ginny too. I think they thought you were going to help clean up.”

  “Well, Beck and I took a little ride, and then I just couldn't face everyone.”

  Her dad frowned. “It was mentioned that Beck was also MIA. What did he say to you?”

  “He proposed.” She sputtered the last word, bursting into tears all over again.

  “He did what?” Her dad’s voice was like bullets from a gun as he guided her into the living room, onto the couch and sat across from her.

  “He wants to marry me.”

  “I thought you were just friends.”

  “I did, too. I mean, we spend a lot of time together, or we did, before he started working in the basin, but I didn't think this was going to come up.”

  “I guess I’m just—why are you crying? You didn't say yes, did you?”

  “No, because, I don't know. I just want to—it’s not like he’s wanting me for me. He’s wanting to take care of me. He’s asking because I’m pregnant.”

  “Which is more than Jesse did,” her dad pointed out.

  “”But I didn't want Jesse to ask me because I was pregnant, either.” She smoothed both hands over the curve of her belly. “I wanted him to ask me because he wanted me. Because he wanted to be with me, because he valued me. Not because he felt sorry for me. And it’s worse with Beck because....” The tears started fresh, burning her eyes, burning her throat.

  “Because why?”

  “Because he doesn’t have a connection with the babies. He just thinks I can’t handle it on my own and he wants to be there.”

  “He wouldn't think that if he didn't care about you.”

  She lifted her gaze to her father. “You want me to marry him?”

  “I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do, but I don't want you to be crying that he doesn't care about you when he’s clearly worried about you and thinking about you.”

  “He even said he didn't love me. He didn't think.”

  “Lace, I guess I’m trying to figure out why you’re crying here. He asked you to marry him. You said no. Why are you crying?”

  “He’s never even kissed me. He never even kissed me and he wanted to marry me?”

  Her dad shook his head. “So...you want him to kiss you?”

  She beat her hand against the arm of the couch in frustration. “Of course I want him to kiss me.”

  “Is it the hormones? Is that why I’m not following here? You want him to kiss you but you don't want to marry him?”

  “How can I know if I want to marry him if he hasn’t kissed me? Don't you see? I was completely blindsided. I had no idea he was thinking romantically about me, but he wasn't because he’s being practical, I think, but I don't just want to be practical, you see?”

  He nodded, then shook his head. “You like him.”

  “Yes.”

  “You didn't know he liked you.”

  “I didn't know he was thinking about staying. I always thought he was leaving, so I didn't let myself think about what it would be like if he stayed, and he said I’m part of the reason he wants to stay and build a house at his mother’s place and work in the basin and not go on the road anymore.”

  “And you don't think he cares about you after he told you that?”

  “Then he told me to forget all that!” Her voice rose in a wail.

  Her dad shook his head and lifted his hands to his temples. “I’m feeling really stupid here right now. You like him. He likes you. I can see where you wouldn’t want to get married yet, but why are you crying?”

  “Because if not for the babies, he would already be gone.”

  “But he’s not gone.”

  “He wouldn't have thought twice about me if not for the babies, don't you see? I want a man who wants me for myself. Not because he thinks I need him.”

  “Ah.” Her dad nodded. “I do see that. But don't you think Beck is smarter than that? That he sees your value? I mean, if he wants to marry you, he’s thinking longterm. If he’s building a house here, he’s thinking permanence. And babies don't stay around forever.”

  She smiled up at him through her tears. “I did.” Then she frowned. “Or are you in this together? You’re trying to marry me off so you can get rid of me.”

  “God, Lacey, you’re kidding, right? These are going to be the first grand babies I’ll get to spoil every day. I’m ridiculously excited about your babies. But I also think you deserve to love someone. You deserve to have someone love you. You and me, we will always have each other to lean on. But it’s okay to welcome someone else in, too, don't you think?”

  “I think it’s more than time we do,” she said, knowing he mean Marianne as much as Beck. “I think we both deserve love. But maybe Beck isn’t the one for me.”

  “Do me a favor and don't write him off just yet. He’s a good guy. Don't avoid him. See what he does next. And keep an open mind.”

  “So how does Marianne feel about becoming a step-grandmother?” Lacey asked, pushing her way out of her own head.

  Her dad blushed. “I think she doesn't think we’re that serious yet.”

  “What do you think? Are you that serious?”

  “I don't move very fast, you may have noticed.”

  “Oh, I’ve noticed. And I think she has, too.”

  Her dad rose with a laugh and gave her hair an affectionate ruffle, like she was twelve instead of twenty eight. “Maybe I should start bringing her around more, so the two of you can get to know each other better.”

  “I think that is a good idea.? Even though the idea of sharing her dad with another woman gave her a bit of a twinge. She hadn’t had to do that in years, and part of her was sad her dad had been alone so long, and part of her was jealous.

  Ridiculous. She couldn't have things stay the same always. She had to be ready for change.

  Just seemed like a lot of change was coming in a very short time.

  DUST DOWN THE DRIVEWAY signaled a visitor on Saturday, and Lacey peered through the kitch
en window where she was doing approximately a week’s worth of dishes, so she could see who it was.

  Marianne was coming to dinner tonight, so the women could get to know each other, and Lacey had spent the day making the house look like two grown adults who knew how to keep house lived here.

  She didn’t know why it mattered. Marianne had been out to the house several times when Lacey wasn't home, and she had dealt with the mess just fine.

  Maybe it was a territory thing. Whatever the reason, Lacey wanted the place to look nice tonight. She was cooking, but Marianne was bringing dessert, and maybe a salad, Lacey thought she heard.

  And now she was having a visitor.

  Her heart thudded against her ribs when she recognized the truck.

  Beck. What was he doing here? She hadn’t seen or heard from him since she turned down his proposal. While she wasn't exactly fine with it, she was resigned to the idea that he’d taken her answer at face value. Why was he here now?

  She set down her kitchen towel and hurried through the house, smoothing a hand over her hair, tugging the hem of her t-shirt down over her belly. She slipped her feet in her flip flops and opened the front door to see him standing at the open bed of his truck, where he’d lashed a...stock tank?

  “Beck?” she asked, stepping out on the porch.

  He was working the bungee cords free, and rolled the enormous metal tank toward the tailgate, hissing and snatching his hand back when he touched the hot metal.

  “Your dad around to give me a hand?”

  “He went to town to get groceries for tonight. Marianne is coming to dinner.” She walked toward him. “What are you doing?”

  “Marianne, huh? I heard they were seeing each other. That’s okay. I think I can get this.”

  “What is it? We don't have stock to water.”

  He turned to face her, one hand holding the tank so it didn't roll out of its own accord. “I thought you could use a way to cool off. A lot of people use these as wading pools, you know. I thought a wading pool was a little too flimsy, you’d have trouble getting in and out, plus I didn't know where you could put it so it wouldn’t get holes in it. So I got you this.”