Jeff slides down the bed slightly and lifts my top, kissing me softly next to my bellybutton before rimming it with his tongue. As his fingers skirt the edge of my waistband, I suck in my breath, feeling unsure of what will come next.
“You will stay with me, Paige,” he murmurs as his fingers work to get the button of my jeans undone. “I want to teach you something new every night, every pleasure I can think of.” He undoes my zip and slides my jeans down my legs, revealing my white cotton panties. The burst of cool air against my skin causes my flesh to prickle with goose bumps. “When I’m finished with you, you will be an absolute master. No man will be able to resist you.”
I gasp as he pulls my panties back slightly and kisses just above my mound, his fingers teasing me as they trace the elastic that runs around my legs. He hooks his fingers into the waistband and pulls them down, dropping them to the floor and revealing me completely, giving me nowhere to hide.
I feel a mixture of nerves and desire as he sits back and studies me. “Open your legs for me,” he commands. I close my eyes, suddenly a little unsure of myself. “It’s OK. We can stop whenever you want to. Tonight will be all about you. I want to look at you. I want to taste you. I want to show you the best part about being a woman.”
“The best part?”
“Yes. When your legs are wrapped around a man’s head and your hips are bucking wildly because you can’t take it anymore.”
My stomach jumps up as my heart thuds loudly against my chest. “I’m scared.”
“Don’t be. Relax, my girl,” he coos, his voice so soft and gentle that I find myself letting out a slow steady breath before doing what he asked and opening my legs for him to see.
“That is one very nice pussy,” he growls, rubbing his hands gently up and down my legs. “Hmmm. I’m going to kiss it now, Paige. OK?”
“OK,” I whisper, the sound barely making its way over my lips.
When I feel his breath, warm between my legs, I jolt involuntarily. The anticipation of his touch is just too much.
“Have you ever touched yourself?”
“No,” I gasp, as his tongue darts out and touches me lightly, right on a very sensitive spot that makes me quiver.
“You should. It will help you know your body. Men want to please a woman, Paige. Just as much as they want to be pleased themselves. This,” he says as he kisses the sensitive spot again, “is your clit, and if I suck on it, and swirl my tongue around it, it gets harder and more sensitive. See?” He demonstrates, and I writhe beneath him, gasping for air as he shows me sensations I never knew I was capable of experiencing.
“Ohhh!” I call out, as he sucks more firmly on my clit, sliding his tongue up and down so it enters me for a moment, before sliding it back up and circling my clit once more.
The rhythm causes a sensation to build between my legs. It travels up into my stomach and sends tendrils of ecstasy swirling through my body, all the way to my fingertips and down to my toes.
As the pressure builds between my legs, I find myself calling out more and more. My hands clench against the sheets on the bed, needing something, anything to grab on to as the feeling takes over me.
My ragged breathing causes my throat to go dry. I move my tongue around my mouth and try to swallow. I don’t know what to do with this pressure, it’s more than I can handle right now. It feels amazing, but at the same time it’s scaring me. I don’t know what’s going to happen.
“Jeff,” I gasp. “I feel… oh god!” I yell as the pressure explodes out of me. Colours flash before my eyes as my body jars in spasm. He grips onto my thighs and drives his tongue inside me, moaning into me as I continue to gasp and cry out until I can’t take it anymore and push on his head. “It’s too much. I’m sorry. You need to stop.”
Lifting himself up, he wipes his mouth and moves up the bed so his body is covering mine while he takes his weight on his hands.
“You taste amazing,” he whispers, before dipping his head to gently kiss me. I can taste myself in his mouth. It's something I thought would be strange to do, but it’s not as bad as I was expecting.
When he breaks away, I can’t help but ask, “Um, is there something I need to do for you now?”
He chuckles as he pushes himself up from the bed. “No, not tonight. Having you come in my mouth was all I needed tonight.”
Once again, I blush. Having him talk the way he does is both intimidating and a turn on. There’s something about the way he looks at me that makes me want to be around him. When I thought he wanted to teach me to be a prostitute I had an internal freak out, but when he explained he just wants to take care of me and teach me about my body, I couldn’t really see a downside. He’s gorgeous. He’s clearly loaded. And he just rocked my world in the most amazing way. And even better, he makes me feel wanted—seen. It’s something that has been severely lacking in my life, and I didn’t realise how badly I wanted to feel something, until now…
Ten
“So, Jeff tells me you’re staying with him for a while. Sick of the old couch are you?” Tahlia asks me the next morning after she’s said goodbye to the guy she took to bed last night.
I shrug and press my lips together. Feeling as though I must seem a little ungrateful when Tahlia and her family have been nothing but welcoming to me.
“I don’t have to stay. I can come back if you want.”
She moves closer and sits beside me on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her as she leans her head against the back of it facing me.
“Don’t be silly. I’d take the offer of a bed over that uncomfortable thing any day. I’ll miss you though. I’ve kind of gotten used to having you around.”
The corner of my mouth turns up in a slight smile. “Yeah, we’ve had fun, haven’t we?”
“The best. But don’t worry, we’ll still see each other heaps. It just won’t be every day.”
Nodding, I sigh contentedly as I sit back against the couch. Quietly, I contemplate my life’s direction as I watch Jeff walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. The private grin he gives me starts my heart beating wildly in my chest.
In my mind, l can actually see a way out of this state of homelessness I’ve found myself in. I can feel a sense of hope blossom inside me. A hope I might have some sort of normal future after all. With Jeff.
Tahlia leans in close and whispers in my ear. “Don’t get too attached, OK? Just have fun. He’ll help you.”
“What do you mean?”
“What are you two whispering about?” Jeff asks as he wanders into the lounge room carrying a mug of coffee for each of us.
“I was just telling her to watch out for the likes of you. You’re a known heartbreaker,” Tahlia informs him.
He laughs as he sets the mugs on the side tables and takes the single seat to my right.
“I’m not going to break her heart, Tahlia. Because I’m never going to lie to her. Paige will always know where she stands with me. I give you my word on that.”
“Hmmm” is the only response she gives him.
We all sit together and sip our coffees quietly until Jeff suggests that he drive me and Tahlia home so we can pick up my things.
“I don’t really have much,” I tell him. “I got rid of a lot of stuff months ago. It was easier to travel light. I didn’t look so much like a teenage runaway with just a backpack.”
He reaches over and tucks some of my hair behind my ear, causing my eyes to flutter closed. “That’s no problem. I’ll take care of my girl.”
“All right, Jeff. Stop filling her head with fairytales. It’s not good for her.”
Jeff’s response is to wink at me and kiss me on top of the head as he stands to collect our now empty mugs.
Despite Tahlia’s warnings, I still feel giddy about coming to stay with Jeff. Even if my time staying with him doesn’t last long. I feel as though now that I’m sixteen, I can finally take my life into my own hands. I can get a job, and in a year I can get my provisional license. I won’t be depende
nt upon the kindness of others for much longer. How can I not have hope?
* * *
We stay at Tahlia’s house until after lunch while Jeff and Tahlia’s dad, Ron, catch up and have a laugh.
I thank them all profusely for helping me and giving me somewhere to stay, and they tell me it was no trouble. Although, I’m still not convinced that they actually realised I was living there.
“Just remember, you can come back anytime, and I’ll see you soon,” Tahlia tells me as I leave with Jeff. She hugs me tightly before I get into the car then stands in her front yard, waving as we drive off.
Jeff reaches over and takes my hand, bringing it to his lips before returning it to my lap. “Are you ready?” he asks, glancing at me briefly as he focuses on the road.
“Yes. I think I am,” I tell him confidently. In that moment, I farewell any innocence I have left in me. I’m not naïve. I damn well know I’m being taken as his play thing. But I struggle to have a problem with that. I’m doing it willingly.
Perhaps when I’m older, I’ll look back on this moment and wonder why the hell I put my trust in this guy. But right now, he’s the only person who makes me feel like more than a homeless teen. He make me feel wanted. And I want that so badly. I crave it.
Eleven
Last night, I lost my virginity. I don’t know how to feel about it. I thought it would be better than it actually was. Especially after orgasming the night before. But it was just…OK.
The whole thing didn’t take very long. Jeff took me back to his house, and we sat and talked for a while. He made me some dinner, and afterwards, he took me by the hand and led me to his room.
Slowly, he undressed me, unwrapping me like a birthday present. Touching me gently, kissing me. Tasting me, preparing me.
Without the ecstasy in my system like it was the night before, I was nervous. My breathing was shaky and my mind was racing, telling me all the reasons I shouldn’t be doing this.
Your virginity is a gift, it told me. Don’t just give it away to a man you’ve only known for a day.
I mentally told my mind to shut up. I needed to do this. Jeff could make my life better. My mind tried to tell me that he could make it much worse, but I wasn’t willing to listen. He was already poised between my legs.
“Are you ready?” he asked, nudging his tip at my opening.
I didn’t trust my voice to come out with the right answer, so I nodded instead and took a deep breath as I readied myself for his intrusion.
“Relax,” he whispered. “Relax.”
He pushed in. Little bit, by little bit. I felt myself stretching around him. Tearing. Stinging. Burning.
It hurt.
“Stop. Stop,” I told him breathlessly. “I just need a minute.”
“It’s OK. We’re going slow,” he whispered, kissing my forehead, my cheek, and then my mouth. “I’m going to push just a little, OK?”
I nodded again. I wanted to say ‘No. Get out’, but I knew that I’d gone too far. I needed to see it through.
“Tell me when to stop,” he instructed as he pressed himself deeper. I could feel a warmth, like it was burning. But I breathed through it, and let him move on.
Eventually, he paused. “I’m all the way in. Are you OK?” he asked, concern in his voice and in his eyes.
“It hurts. But, I’m OK,” I told him, my voice quiet and shaky as I wished for this all to be over.
“Can I move?”
“Just a little,” I whispered. I was trying so hard to relax, but the burning sensation between my legs was starting to control my senses.
“I won’t last long,” he assured me. “You are so, so tight.” He clenched his jaw and moved inside me. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to focus more on my breathing.
Within a few strokes, he shuddered, emptying himself inside me. “Mmmm,” he hummed, pressing his forehead against mine as he calmed himself, whispering, “It will be better next time. I promise,” as he kissed me softly.
Slowly, he withdrew from me, and I felt red-raw as he vacated my depths. I’m having trouble believing that this will feel better in time. It was uncomfortable, painful, and well, just not nice.
I don’t think it was anything Jeff did. He took time to make sure I was more than ready before he pushed inside me. However, it just didn’t feel anywhere near as nice as the touching and fondling did beforehand.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, holding his hand out to me. I looked between my legs, and while I knew it was possible, I'm ashamed to say I freaked out when I saw the blood.
“It’s OK,” Jeff told me soothingly. He wrapped me in his arms and brushed my hair back gently, whispering to me that it was all normal. Everything was all right.
Scooping me up in his arms, he carried me into the bathroom where he sat me down and ran a bath for me. Lifting me again, he lowered me into the water and carefully washed my skin, planting soft kisses over my face and shoulders as he did.
Suddenly, my eyes pricked with tears. “I’m sorry I wasn’t any good. I didn’t expect it to hurt so much,” I whispered to him, overcome with everything that had just happened. I was scared he was disappointed and would send me away, and then I'd be back where I was, sleeping on a old couch with no one to love me.
He shushed me gently. “Don’t talk like that. You were perfect. Tomorrow, it will be so much nicer for you. I promise you that. It’s only the first time that it hurts.”
His words filled me with relief. But, I still feel doubtful that could ever feel nice. People talk like sex is amazing, so I’m willing to give it another shot. And he tells me there’s a lot more things we can do that will feel even better. I suppose I just have to trust him. He knows a lot more about this stuff than I do.
After a full night’s sleep, I feel a little sore, but I’m OK. I actually feel better than I have in a long time after spending my second night in a real bed. And Jeff told me to make myself at home while he ran same errands, so I’ve been sitting watching television all morning. I don’t know exactly what he does for a job but judging by his lifestyle and the company he keeps, I’m willing to bet he’s in a similar game to Tahlia’s parents.
I don’t think he deals pot though. I’m pretty sure he deals ecstasy and maybe some other things. I don’t know. I haven’t seen anything lying around, and he hasn’t told me about his work yet.
As I sit, I wonder how long his usual playthings last. He's very sure of himself, and based on Tahlia’s warnings to keep my feelings out of it, I'm assuming this is something he does on the regular. Am I just here to fuck until he gets bored of one? Or will I be expected to pull my weight like I did at Tahlia’s?
There are a lot of questions I probably should have asked before jumping in the car with him. I mean, maybe I should have stayed put. Maybe I’m in over my head here. I made the decision to be Jeff’s ‘girl’ while still feeling the effects of ecstasy. Maybe if I was sober, I would have chosen Tahlia’s couch.
Sitting on my own with an aching vagina, all I can do is question myself. I’m starting to worry that I’m walking down a road I never imagined I’d travel, and that I might never find my way back. No matter how hard I try.
Twelve
When Jeff gets home, he’s smiling brightly. “There’s my girl. Wait there. I’ll be back in a minute” he says, disappearing into his room briefly before returning with a small package in his hand.
“What’ve you got there?”
“A gift,” he says, grinning with only half of his mouth, his eyes darkening slightly as he moves towards me.
“What kind of gift?” I sit up straighter and look at his hand intently, as if my eyes have the power to open it.
He sits next to me. “It’s something to make you feel amazing,” he tells me, opening his hand to reveal a small bag of white powder.
I suck my breath back sharply. “Is that what I think it is?”
“Uh huh.” He opens the draw from the table next to the couch, pulls out a leat
her binder and places it on the coffee table in front of us. I sit by quietly, curiosity getting the better of me as I chew my lip and watch him prepare our lines.
The old me, the girl who used to try hard at school and did everything she could to be accepted, would be horrified at what I’m becoming, at what I’m sitting here ready to do. But the current me wants this. I know it’s going to make me feel something more than the desolation that’s constantly lurking beneath the surface of my mind, constantly telling me I’m not wanted, no one cares. If I do these things with Jeff; if I please him and show him I can be good, then maybe I can make him care.
Jeff leans forward. With his finger pressed against one side of his nose, and a small glass tube held up to the other, he lets out a loud sniff as the line of white powder shoots up into his nostril. He sits back and continues to inhale, his eyes closed slightly as he shakes his head, quickly, from side to side.
“Oh, that’s good,” he says as he blows out a long steady whoosh and hands me the tube. “Your turn.”
I can’t pretend I’m not nervous right now. I’ve never done coke before, and I don’t feel very confident about it. I reach out and take the tube, holding on to it firmly, afraid I might drop it and break the glass on the hard wood floors.
“OK, so what do I do? I just…” I hold the tube and my nose as he did and sniff back, watching to see if he approves of the way I’m demonstrating it.
“Yes. That’s exactly how,” he says quietly, watching me intently, the lights of room dancing in his eyes as he seems to take great delight in introducing me to more of his world. “Here.” He takes my hair in his hands, holding it back for me. “You don’t want powder in your pretty hair.”
I smile at his kind gesture and lean forward, pausing slightly as I look at the neat rows laid out in front of me. Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to become the kind of girl who just takes whatever she‘s offered? Do I even have a choice right now?
Forever: Beautiful Series, book two Page 30